LAST EDITED ON 05-25-10 AT 03:45 PM (EST)

Each season has a twist of its own.

So we send the AI judges into bars to recruit conventionally attractive (and stupid) people who've never heard of the show. Those form half the contestant pool, with the other half consisting of friends of the judges, people who have a relationship with the judges, and anyone currently having sex with the judges. Oh, and one contestant will be given the freedom to load everyone else's drinks with Comet, because destroying people's vocal cords along with just a tiny chance of killing them is good for the ratings!

I'm really looking forward to the first on-stage outfit burning.

Oh, and there's no actual singing ability required. After all, the game is frequently about allowing the most mediocre contestant to have the best chance at triumph. Why recruit the elite when they're just going to be early targets and their presence will make everyone else feel bad about themselves?

Gosh, this is fun. Let's see... we need a way to let contestants sabotage each other's recording studios and take away access to mentor time and voice coaches. And that's usually the show's job, so this may take a while. Now, where are we going to put that hidden immunity idol...?

This is all about getting RussHell on a public vote series, isn't it?