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"Final 4 (August 7)"
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cahaya 19891 desperate attention whore postings
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08-08-07, 09:26 PM (EST)
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22. "This week's Ebert-ian review"
LAST EDITED ON 08-08-07 AT 11:28 PM (EST)

Well, I'm bummed. Zach went out this week, but it's his own fault for trying to follow up a flop with another flop, one of the greatest sins a director can commit. He probably got noticed and if someone picks him up, I think he'll do well with a career in film-making, probably as a special-effects director/editor.

Anyway, that leaves us with four aspiring directors who have to produce a clip based on the tagline about a man who wakes up in a dress but can't remember why. That's probably a question Adrianna Costa asks herself every morning, too. And what was with the long dress she wore tonight? It hid her legs, but still left nothing to the imagination with the display of ample boobage. It is even possible to imagine her simply in jeans and a t-shirt?

Gary Marshall is back (whew, his sister is nutso! but in a nice way) and we get still one more Gary as a guest director, Gary Gray (it was Gary Ross last week). I think we're on to something here. If your first name isn't Steven (or your name name doesn't end with -'berg' or '-stein'), it has to be Gary, or you don't have a chance in a million to be a Hollywood director.

Ok, on with the show...

Yes Men by Will: The Boss wakes up in a dress in his own office. And Boss he is! Regardless of his appearance, when he shouts, people move. His "You're fired!" is scary stuff. Donald Trump really should think about hiring him instead of Rosie. Totally unfazed by his own appearance in the midst of executive office hallways and boardrooms, he commands the show. An odd moment occurs when he and his secretary notice they're wearing the same dress. The first meeting with the yes-men see him wearing the dress and the men dressed in suit and tie. Along the way, the Boss compliments a cross-dressed male employee with the comment, "That's the attitude I'm talking about!". The second board meeting sees the Boss in coat and tie and the yes-men in dresses, all doomed to be fired. This was a crisp, straight-up, fast-paced clip, full of character, action and humor. (***)

Dress for Success by Sam: A boss wakes up in some office room in dress in what appears to be an office room in the basement. On closer inspection, the boss finds himself cuffed, shackled, and chained. After he asks "Where am I?" a voice taunts him through a speaker horn on the wall. Flashback. Rewind and replay to discover that this boss is a total chauvinistic ass in the office and the women are majorly pissed at him. Fast forward back to the office torture chamber. Compared to the Yes Men's Boss, this boss is a Wimp. Through a loudspeaker, the disguised voices of the women who the Wimp abused in the office taunt him. After an electrical shock, they command him to make coffee, run the treadmill, type away on the typewriter, and bend over to take slaps on the butt by some still yet unpatented butt-slapping machine. The whole thing looks hokey. The Wimp is left twitching on the floor to fall into unconsciousness. Fast forward to the next day or next week. Presumably, the Wimp has been freed and now he reports to the office. There is suspicion, then fear on his face as he looks at the women in the office standing next to him. Suddenly he's a nice guy, completely subservient to them. To end the clip, he tastelessly smacks a office gopher guy's (instead of a woman's) butt. This clip was a bad idea with bad execution. The premise that a chauvinistic boss will eventually get what's coming to him comes off as stereotypic overkill. Any ray of hope for humor in this clip is overshadowed by the Pavlov's dog treatment of the subject, with radical feminist sadomasochism overtones leading to male subservience to the office doms. This clip is better titled Dressed for Failure or Dressed to Depress. (*1/2)

Army Guy by Adam: An army guy wakes up in a dress slipped over his army fatigues, with a bimbo next to him who almost immediately asks him if he wants to marry her. No, he doesn't want to marry her. Instead, he wants to know where his mortal enemy is, who then steps through the bedroom door, knife in hand. The army guy's gun doesn't work and the Army Guy rushes at the villain. The baddie mysteriously escapes, as the Army guy can't find him even after running through the house. The house turns out to be populated with other bimbos. We know something is up when he tries to drink fruit punch offered to him, but it's fake, like a red-colored plastic plug in a plastic glass. A dark shadow passes over the house, but a glance out the window shows a static cloudy haze. Finally, the showdown with the bad guy happens and the bad guy looks like he's got Army Guy once and for all as he stabs him - with a rubbery plastic knife that doesn't do squat. Now we realize this is all staged. Then a huge human hand reaches in the front door into the living room and grabs Army Guy and pulls him outside. Now we realize why it's all staged. The house is a Barbie dollhouse, and the Army Guy and all the others are nothing but characters in some kind of Toy Story. He becomes a bone of contention with little brats brother and sister fighting over him, each pulling on him. Brat brother gets the dress off and brat sister manages to grab him away from brat brother. She tosses Army Guy into a toy chest, where he lands in the midst of a bunch of other dolls. The doll next to Army Guy asks him if he wants to marry her. The Army Guy, now in standard GI Joe fatigues looks down and groans. (Now obviously, being a kid's toy, there's nothing down there. Wait until he discovers that the same happens to be true for Barbie.) Not a bad clip, although hard to follow at first. The ending gives a nice resolution to it all, explaining everything that happened before. I felt confused after the first viewing up until the ending, but everything clicks into place thinking back on it, especially after a second viewing. Imaginative story, with fairly good action. Minus for the initial confusion, but plus for the story as a whole. (***)

"Oh, Boy" by Jason: Ok, it's official. Jason is hung up on boyz. Anyway, a guy wakes up in a dress and finds himself on a lawn with a bomb strapped around his waste. Through a walkie-talkie, a voice (from the distant past, we'll discover) taunts him to do certain things or get blown up. While following orders to prance around, the guy almost gets hit by an SUV. Then the guy is ordered to go knock on his neighbor's door. The neighbor answers the door and, as ordered, guy gives him a huge smacker of a kiss. Needless to say, the neighbor is offended and punches the guy halfway across the yard. The walkie-talkie malfunctions as it lands in a birdbath. Then the protagonist behind the cell phone voice appears, being a small guy with glasses who happens to have had an ancient grudge with this guy dating back to their school days, when the guy was the bully instead. After the guy tells the mad bomber that he's got the wrong guy (he was never on the baseball team), the mad bomber goes under the guy's dress to deactivate the bomb. An elderly couple just happen to pass by to witness what they think is a highly unsavory scene. The bomb defusing job works, but as the the guy and mad bomber hug in gladness that it's over, the activation button is accidentally pressed. They both get blown up, but like in a Road Runner cartoon, both guys are just scorched in smoke and soot, otherwise unhurt. This was an ok clip, but I didn't really get the idea or point of it. The story line and effects seemed rather staged without a clear theme or plot, or even good characterization. All in all, a rather weak clip that failed to score. Oh, boy, I'd rather watch something else. (**)

In summary, two hits and two misses. Will's Yes Men was highly entertaining and Adam's Army Guy was imaginative if initially confusing. Jason needs to get over the oh, boyz thing. Sam's clip was not only weak, but left a really bad taste in Pavlov's mouth. Sam should go home, but if he somehow survives the vote, then Jason. Will and Adam look like the two top contenders to win this now that Zach is out.

A Sharnina Production

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Table of Contents
  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-07-07       
   RE: Final 4 (August 7)   Sunny_Bunny     08-07-07     1  
     RE: Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-07-07     3  
   And going home...   cahaya     08-07-07     2  
     RE: And going home...   Cathy the Canadian     08-07-07     17  
   RE: Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-07-07     4  
     RE: Final 4 (August 7)   mattben     08-08-07     20  
   RE: Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-07-07     5  
   Lame questions   cahaya     08-07-07     6  
     RE: Lame questions   Sunny_Bunny     08-07-07     7  
         RE: Lame questions   cahaya     08-07-07     8  
             RE: Lame questions   Sunny_Bunny     08-07-07     9  
                 RE: Lame questions   cahaya     08-07-07     10  
                     RE: Lame questions   Sunny_Bunny     08-07-07     11  
                         RE: Lame questions   cahaya     08-07-07     13  
   RE: Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-07-07     12  
     RE: Final 4 (August 7)   Sunny_Bunny     08-07-07     14  
         RE: Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-07-07     15  
             RE: Final 4 (August 7)   Sunny_Bunny     08-07-07     16  
   RE: Final 4 (August 7)   BlueLies     08-08-07     18  
     RE: Final 4 (August 7)   mistyrose52     08-08-07     19  
         RE: Final 4 (August 7)   cahaya     08-08-07     23  
   This week's films...   Cathy the Canadian     08-08-07     21  
     RE: This week's films...   cahaya     08-08-07     24  
   This week's Ebert-ian review   cahaya     08-08-07     22  
     RE: This week's Ebert-ian review   michel     08-09-07     25  
         RE: This week's Ebert-ian review   Sunny_Bunny     08-11-07     27  
             RE: This week's Ebert-ian review   cahaya     08-13-07     28  
         RE: This week's Ebert-ian review   lynkfri13     08-13-07     29  
   RE: Final 4 (August 7)   Loree     08-11-07     26  

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