LAST EDITED ON 09-06-02 AT 02:33 AM (EST)
If my shrink had a drive thru window, I would be pulling in right now. I have just sat through one of the most disturbing hours on television ever. Now, thanks to it being my review week, I get to relive the horror of it all. Let's begin, shall we?
Previously on Big Brother, Marci sticks it to Amy. Amy sticks it to Roddy, and Roddy is stuck with it.
We start off with Julie wishing us good evening and letting us know we are in Day 62 of our Community Service known as Big Brother 3. Normally Julie is very scary looking by shoving her 60 year old body in clothes designed by Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, but today, she is in a simple white top and pinstripe pants. She needs to fire her plastic surgeon, though. Her face is so tight, it almost looks like she was given a colonic with a vacuum cleaner.
It seems that our Miss Amy has been acting up by rubbing the housemates the wrong way. Now, I'm sure if Roddy would have said "a little lower and too the left", she would have rubbed him the right way. Oh, it's the alcohol thing. Silly me. Amy is shown completely wasted and is going around begging everyone for their alcohol while wearing a knockoff of the dress Marilyn Monroe wore in the 7 Year Itch. She stumbling around while Marcellas, pretending to exercise, tells her to "put down the alcohol, take off the dress, and go to bed". Apparantly he's had enough of Amy. I think all the fake exercise got to him because there is no way he can fit in that dress.
Enough of Amy, let's spank the Rod for a bit. Danielle compares him to a cockroach, Lisa thinks the Rodster is flirting with her, but brushes it off on strategy.
Julie's back. That Calista Flockhart diet is doing wonders for her. I think she is down to 75 lbs. I am now on the REACH program. It is very simple, if you can reach it--eat it. She may want to try it. Julie talks to the houseguest and HORRORS! THEY HAVE BEEN FORCED TO DRESS AS THEIR FAVORITE 70s TV STAR! Roll call. You have Tootie and Blair from the Facts of Life (Danielle and Amy), Willis from Diff'rent Strokes (Marcellas), Laurie Partridge from the Partridge family (Lisa), Starsky from Starsky and Hutch (Jason) and well, Roddy who seems to be the only normal one there. It seems that the hamsters are wearing their "new" clothes from the America's Choice game. Who sponsored this shopping spree, Goodwill?
Julie then grills Jason on his new do. She tries to be funny and calls it very "Greg Brady". Sit down, Julie, before you hurt someone. Jason's hair leaves me speechless. It's as if Amy, in a drunken fit, licked Jason's head the entire night. Jason woke up, liked what he saw (memo to houseguests--the mirrors need cleaning) and kept it. I have literally stared at his head the entire show. I'm surprised Marcellas is not having kittens from the shock of that 'do.
We now get to follow up on everyone's favorite houseguest, Josh and his girlfriend, Ferret. It seems they like to hang out at Fredrick's Of Hollywood where they try on unflattering things you can buy at Walmart for hundreds less and at jewerly stores where they are looking at diamonds they cannot afford. Those wacky lovebirds.
We're back, Julie is talking to Marci the HOH. Nothing exciting, let's move on.
Now we get to meet Roddy's parents. This must mean that he is going this week, but then again Amy has been up so much, the only people we haven't met is her AA group. They must have barged in on Roddy's parents unannouced, because Mom has a bad case of bed head. Dad reminds me of Garry Marshall in the movie Never Been Kissed. I am a bit disturbed by the fact that he keeps calling him "my Rod". The parents said that you will never hear Rod say anything negative or bad about another person. I guess they watch it with the sound off. Mom said that Rod has had lots of attractive girlfriends. Chiara must be the exception to the rule. They can't wait to meet her. I am now convinced they have not watched the show at all.
Now we are talking to the condemned. Julie asks Amy, who is wearing what looks like a Pointsettia print dress, whether she regrets what she did. Amy said that she does indeed regret not being the sacrifical virgin to the God of Rod and giving him the veto. Julie is surprised by this. I am more surprised, given her recent binging, that she remembered the whole situation at all.
Time to boot someone out. Julie gets the gold lined envelope (like she doesn't know who's leaving) and says "the Oscar goes to...oops by a vote of 3-0, Roddy you are evicted".
Off to the kiss and cry interview with Julie. The houseguests are not happy, especially Amy who is upset that she is now stuck with a gay man and a professional virgin to flirt with. Back to Roddy. He's surprised to get the boot, blah, blah, blah. We get to see the thanks for playing video and of course the houseguests say he was the best person who ever walked the face of the Earth, but you had to go.
Now we are doing the HOH competition. Another multiple choice test--Danielle is screwed.
First question both Amy and Lisa were eliminated. The next question, Danielle messed up and Jason is the new HOH.
It seems that BB3 won't be on for a whole week due to more important things like college football. I can understand the 9/11 remembrance, but college football?
Hey, a Survivor commericial! New twists, whatever. Look, it's that scary Robb guy. Oh my heck, it's Dorothy from the Mole 2. That greedy heifer is on another reality show. $600,000 wasn't good enough for you was it? Oh, I was just informed that was Shii Ann. Silly me.
We leave this episode with Julie frantically trying to stretch for time by asking the houseguests dumb questions like "When you started 62 days ago, did you think you would make it this far"? They all answer no. Liars! I'm sure the five of them, during the interview process, all stated that they wanted to be evicted in the first half of the season. Of course they thought they would make it that far.
Next week, we are subjected to a two hour episode of BB3 on Thursday where we will see nominations, veto and eviction all on the same night. Julie also mentions a new and final twist to the show.
Until then, I am signing off.
edited to change the two week show to a two hour show...it only seems like it lasts two weeks.