LAST EDITED ON 09-04-02 AT 09:52 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 09-04-02 AT 09:47 AM (EST)

Ep. 22 - Devil Went Down To Mobile

Previously, Chiara left and Jason won HoH, putting up Gerry & Amy.

Wow - wasn't that a bland line? Apologies to you all - this is hardly the usual laugh a minute jokefest. Such a sombre serious episode. I fear for us - it's going to get harder and harder to make jokes. Try to enjoy the few jokes there are - and remember - the group in the house is supposed to be the entertainment. And actually, last night, they were. Hope you enjoyed the ep.

Dani reiterates her view that she doesn’t trust Rottie as much as Jason does, conveniently forgetting that she herself has had other fishies to fry each time Rottie was up for eviction. “Susan Lucci” has been given a free pass for one week, after Jason bought a year’s supply of bullshit from the man who is the biggest supplier in the house. Rottie must be on his best behavior because, as Jason says, if there is any hint of betrayal, then he, Jason, will nominate Rottie in place of one of the current two nominations. I think someone phucked up in the editing, cuz that's not something one would say BEFORE the pOv has been won.

No matter.

We revisit the scene of the Reasons Why I Nominated You speech, in which Jason says that he didn’t want to nominate anybody. Obviously Gerry and Amy were “nobody” enough for him to select.

New Material: Lisa tells Jason how proud of him she is for him not being a puppet and for following through with his own selections. He says he was just keeping his word and she says, “That’s a beautiful thing.” Uh-oh, looks like Lisa has been taking some courses at the Rottie Research Center for Better Bullshi*ing.

Jason reveals to Lisa that 5 seconds before Chiara’s eviction, he, Rot & Chiara made a last-minute deal to not nominate each other should any of them have HoH. Smooth move, R & C. Very smooth.

Meanwhile, Danielle is plotzing over Rottie’s ability to slide by, week after week. Jason tells her he did the math and thinks that they can get further with Gerry out of the house, Gerry being a wild card and not fully trustworthy. I think the problem here is that Jason was not privy to Danielle’s little dealie with Gerry, so he doesn't realize how Rock & A Hard Place it all is for her. She hides her despair at losing an ally instead of an adversary. Jason reckons he’ll be protected by the Fair Play Approach that appears to be governing the game in this house. If Rottie double-crosses Jason, then the whole house will know about it and take action. Oh boy, is that boy wet behind the ears or what.

Marcellas is shown in the DR saying that the choice of nominations proves that Jason is “weak.” Hullo, excuse ME!? I thought M was the one who “hates” Gerry and wants Gerry gone.

In an outdoor scene, Lisa asks Amy if she’s okay. Amy replies, “Yes Ah’m fine. Ah have faith that school is starting soon and the State of California needs their school teachers.”

In DR, Amy tells us all about her permonitions, how when nommed against Lori, she knew she wasn’t going, and how nommed against Marce, she knew that she was. This week, she definitely has a permonition that she is not the one about to leave. I wonder if Dani can get her hands on one of those permonitions, cuz her hair is getting “nappy.”

Next we see Rottie & Gerry having a convo in the backyard. Gerry says that his family sacrificed a lot for him to be able to come & play the game. Rottie speaks in DR about how Gerry is a bright guy, and beats him at chess and he then tells Gerry that he’ll “snoop around and see what the word is with the kids in the street.” yeah Rottie is gonna ask those hooligans who scream over the back yard fence what he should do. yup.

Gerry is left alone & he says that he’s not gonna give up but didn’t want to let his family down. He cries a little. In DR, Gerry says that he is mistrustful of Roddy, but isn’t sure why. Well, isn’t that a Bite the Hand that Would Feed You kind of situation?

Dani in DR is talking about the fact of Jason spending such a long time with Roddy, prior to nominations. “My god, Jay, run outta there! How does Roddy get away with it?”

We the viewers know why, and I think Dani & Lisa know why too - each time Roddy has been up against someone more horrible or there was a “word” given, or something. Roddy IS playing very well, because he is making timely deals. Doesn't make us love the guy tho' does it? Why is that?

Now for the Gnomes. Cue Medieval Times music “plink plink plinkety plink.” Amy comes out after a lockdown to open the window shades, sees the figurines and calls everyone outside. There is a note to the House Guests from the International Alliance of Garden Gnomes, and Amy reads it aloud. Everyone is instructed to adopt one of the white unpainted gnomes and “make them their own.”

Marcey spies one gnome holding a Citrona, which he quickly pockets (the Citrona not the gnome). Amy sees a gnome she could call her own - it is sitting on a pig. Marcy sees one holding a duck, and claims it as his gnome. Jason asks Amy if she saw the one with the Citrona, which causes her to chase Marce in pursuit of her idea of the Prize. Eventually she gets the drink and consumes it while painting her gnome. Much good-natured activity ensues as the group sits around the patio table painting their gnomes and chatting

The group dwindles down until only Jason, Dani & Marce remain outside, and talk turns back to the game. “Has Gerry put the bite on you yet? asks Marce but doesn't appear to receive an answer - Dani dodging bullets - Of Course Gerry has put the bite on her - they're still an alliance, and if at all possible, Dani is going to try to save Gerry. But she can't tell Jason that. God I really hope Gerry gets the boot I really do.

Jason says in DR that he himself wants POV, so that if anything “weird” goes down over the next couple of days, he can take someone {cue shots of Ger & Amy} and put up someone else {cue shot of Roddy}

Now we get our patented House Guest Snapshots. This week we will be looking at Marcellas, the Fashion Stylist. First he proves that I was wrong when I named Roddy as Mr. Narcissus, for Marcellas is streets ahead in the Who Loves Himself The Most Game. No extra jokes needed here, folks - Marcie is All Amusing All the Time.

Marcy says he looks good because he looks good. One of his all-time favourite activities is looking at himself in the mirror, because he is “never disappointed.” He is the best looking boy in the whole house. Cute, cute cute, cute, cute, cute. That’s him.

Then we receive the benefit of Marcy’s fashion knowledge and expertise. He runs down the items from each HGs wardrobe that he dislikes. Dani’s black swimsuit with the little skirt is “for a 60 year old woman in Boca Raton.” The one thing M would toss from Jason’s wardrobe is his underwear (:lol NOT because they're so out of fashion! nudge nudge wink wink!) Lisa owns a choker that makes Marce insane. Roddy loves his pleated khakis, but in Marcy’s opinion it looks like a 1984 Polo ad.

Gerry finds it interesting that Marcy hasn’t touched him, but that's because Marce doesn't touch things that disgust him. And also because everything about Gerry’s wardrobe disgusts Marce. He is “my nightmare.” However, when prodded to choose one item above all else, Marcy finally selected the big black gym shoes which make Gerry look like he has club feet. He says he could help him, put something on him that would look right. As Amy says, to finish the segment, “When Marcellas is giving someone fashion advice, he is serious.”

Back to the Gnomes, with weird music playing. The fully painted Gnomes are now hanging from a scaffold-like contraption, and are to form the competition for the POV. 3 lines appear to be connected to each gnome, but in fact only one is, and if cut, the gnome will fall. The idea of the game is to take turns (per random order determined earlier) selecting a question for each houseguest, and choosing one of the 3 answers given. Cut the string that corresponds to the answer you chose. If the answer is correct, the gnome will fall. If not, someone else can try to eliminate that player. Whoever has his gnome hanging up at the end is the winner of the POV.

Marcellas of course chooses this game to regress to early childhood, and he goes nuts throughout. His first statement: “Murderers! Why do you always have to kill something that’s beautiful and kind?” He has of course grown ridiculously attached to his gnome, even giving it a name, “Boo.” He is identifying with the gnome in a rather disturbing fashion.

They went in a round-robin way, and I’m not completely sure of all the rules and whether people got a turn if they were knocked out. I’d have to watch it again. However, the questions for each player and who answered how, were as follows:

If Roddy was a car, he would be
(a) Range Rover; (b) Porsche; (c) Saab. Gerry correctly chose answer (a), which knocked Roddy out right away. His gnome did not break upon impact.

How does Marcellas pamper himself?
(a) cleaning his apartment; (b) visits dentist; (c) going out to dinner. Roddy incorrectly chose (a). Marce screams out that Boo survived - he’s perfect like me! Later Dani picked (b) the correct answer. Marci screamed when the figurine dropped, but miraculously it survived the fall.

What political office does Jason want to hold?
(a) Mayor of Mobile; (b) Surgeon General; (c) President of the United States. Marce choose (b) wrong answer and later Gerry was wrong picking (a)

What does Amy feel is her destiny:
(a) marry wealthy husband (b) be a social worker (c) stardom. Gerry incorrectly selects (a), later Lisa correctly picks (c).

What job would Lisa least like to do:
(a) drive a bus; (b) clean cages in the zoo; (c) deliver mail. Amy selects (b) correct.

How did Gerry meet his wife?
(a) at a bar; (b) at nudist beach (c) at the school where he teaches. Jason first guesses (c) but later Amy correctly selects (b).

If Danielle could be someone else for one day, who would she pick:
(a) King Solomon; (b) Billy Blanks; (c) Ghandi. Jason incorrectly selects (b); later Marcellas chooses (c), correct answer, knocking Dani out and leaving Jason the winner of the POV.

Bottom line, and most interesting tidbit is that at the end, Marcellas had Jason & Danielle to choose from to knock out. He elected to boot Dani, so that tells me that he would rather take the chance of Jason not changing the nominations and getting Gerry out, instead of giving Danielle a chance to use POV, which she would, to force Jason to put up Roddy.

After the game, there is more “delightful” chit-chat & tomfoolery with the gnomes. A little “sexplay” between Marcy & Roddy, is what I think it is. Marcy says that his gnome is just like him. He is black, and represents Marce at age 70. So that Boo will not be lonely, he hangs out with Jason’s gnome. He doesn’t hang out with Roddy’s gnome - cue shots of Roddy’s gnome having mug shots taken. Marce says Roddy’s gnome looks like he’s on crack. Roddy says he’s not aware of his gnome’s drug problem. Marce says Roddy’s gnome is Boo’s bad cousin, the one who comes over to your house and steals your television. Roddy says they were best friends growing up but his gnome went off to live a life of crime. (You see, Roddy’s gnome has a wee axe!) Later in the show they had another segment where someone put Roddy’s gnome in a bed, with ketchup for blood on the axe. I’m sure it was great fun.

Dani is up in our next scene, to segue into the America’s Choice segment. She is telling the group at large that having never been HOH she has nothing, no pictures, no letter, no blanket or something that smells of home. She is all alone.

But first, Dunkin’ Donuts arrive, coffee coolattas (Marce is going to name his daughter Coolatta Jenkins Reynolds - but don’t ask me why or where those names come from.)

The America’s Choice question is revealed to the gang, and everyone seems to agree that they hope Danielle wins it.

Back to more time-filling stuff. Roddy & Amy discuss how men are like spikers. Roddy says to Marcellas what he loves the best is how wrong “you’ve been about me so far” and he rubs M’s elbow seductively. ooooohhh wee.

Cue sci-fi music. Roddy has telepathic powers and people do what he wants. Marce in the HOH with Jason, “No one has ever caught him in a lie or seen him throw a rock. But people throw rocks for his advantage.” Lisa doesn’t trust the way that Roddy makes his sentences appear. It’s scary, she says, the way that he is being kept in the game. Roddy tells Amy that Dani is terrified of him. Dani is shown in the DR, saying “He is the devil. You’re giving up your firstborn when he leaves the room and you don’t know why.”

Now we have some more Amy story, about how she loves to laugh but she has a sad & lonely side. She tells Lisa that she functions well on her own, but when she get in her emotional state, she is all Poor me, I’m all alone. She wants someone to look at the water at night, hold hands and cuddle up to watch a movie together. Amy voices-over that she’s had a growing-up experience in the house and hopes that she will take what she’s learned and apply it to everyday life. sweet!

It’s time for America’s Choice. As everyone is glad to see, Danielle is voted the winner of the vide greeting from her family. Her dad, mom & brother Thomas appear first.
Mom: Hi, we’re so proud of you and the way you play the game.
Bro: How you doin’ booger?
Dad: Hi this is Dad.
We love you.
Mom: I do not have MS I am fine and am wearing my heels again {Dani explains in a DR session that there was a concern that her mom might have M.S.)

Then the scene switches to Javier and Dani’s two little girls, Christiane (older) & Paxton (younger). He says, Hi Honey. They say hi, Paxton says we just want to let you know we’re doing okay.
Christiane says Paxton has taken up the clarinet, and Paxton plays one note. Javier holds up a volume of “Cooking for Dummies” everyone laughs. Then he says he wrote a letter, which he reads out:
“The day you left time stopped for me. The day you left I knew I couldn’t live without you. And I now see us in a whole new light. I see every day full of hugs and kisses. Every day appreciating you. Every day telling you and showing you how much I love you. When you come back, I will love you forever all my life. Stay strong, stay encouraged. Keep your eyes on the prize. Bye we love you.”
All 3 : We Love You!

Dani is of course a basket case, weeping happy tears. Everyone compliments her on her beautiful family. Dani thanks “America” for giving her this special treat. She feels she now has the strength to finish the game. Out on the basketball court, Dani sinks a basket from “way back” - it feels like a “hole in one”.

Back to the game, and Jason and Roddy have another long conversation in which Jason tries to find out Rotti’s intentions vis-à-vis Danielle. He doesn’t seem to get very far, to my eyes, anyway.

Gerry & Dani are talking and he says, "Part of me aint too reluctant to walk out that door."
Dani says, “Don’t you give up the ghost. Go in and talk to Jason.” So Gerry does.

He tells Jason that had he won the POV, he would have vetoed Amy. Gerry suggests to Jason that he veto Amy and put up Roddy - let the house decide between the two “strategic players.” Gerry tells Jason that one of his goals was to make it to the F4, and does a little smoke blowing up Jay’s butt, telling him that he deserves to be in F4. In all likelihood, says Gerry, if he survives the eviction this week, he won’t put Jason up. Not a deal, not a “word” but the best Gerry will say for now.

So they hold the meeting, the two nominees say more or less the usual, these days. You know, “I’ll love you no matter what you do - do what’s best, what you deem fit.”

So Jason says there is no one else to put up, and that’s the end of that. POV back in the box.

Next ep - who goes: Gerry, the Master of Hygiene or Amy, the Total Totaller? Tune in Thursday at 8pm - check local listings, because, for example, in Toronto, the show will ONLY be on Rogers Channel 11, due to football, instead of Ch. 16.