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Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 06-28-03, 10:24 PM (EST) "TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" LAST EDITED ON 06-28-03 AT 10:26 PM (EST) TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You! This episode sure was a load of crap. I'm not talking about the 15-foot pile of manure, I'm talking about the contestants. But then again, you knew that, didn't you? The teams are being presented in cumulative point order, with this week's order of finish in parenthesis. 1. Jon & Al (1) - OK, these guys are clowns. And they did throw a lot of crap around during this week's race. But there's no denying that they're the smartest team in the race so far. That's not saying a whole lot when you compare these clowns to the bozos on the other team, but give credit where it's due. They are also the only team to receive a Dicque this week. You think this far into the race, teams would have learned that following the other teams just means that your team gets lost too. But no, they keep picking a direction to go based on who else is going that way. Jon & Al pick a direction the unconventional way - because it looks right on the map. Any surprise that they finished the boat trip first and are second overall? Not here. This week: 1 Dicque Overall: 2 Ryans, 4 Dicques 2. Millie & Chuck (5) - They were the first to the boats, since they got dropped off in a taxi instead of taking the train and having to double back. But did that mean they took off first? No, because Chuck showed that his lack of commitment extends beyond Millie. Anyone surprised that he couldn't make a commitment after 12 years should have gotten clued in when they saw how long it took for him to commit to starting the boat. I wonder how long it takes for this guy to order a salad at a restaurant ("I have to pick one dressing?"). And then they got lost, because Chuck's extra attention to the map didn't mean he had committed to a correct route. Now they've burned the Fast Forward - we'll see if that choice burns them in the end. This week: 10 Ryans Overall: 19 Ryans, 2 Dicques 3. Steve & Dave (T-6) - The ATC's made a blunder when they tried to make a tight connection in Paris that required changing airports. They may understand plane traffic, but they were foiled by one car accident. Add to that the miscalculation that none of the teams would play in the giant cowpie, which showed they obviously didn't recognize that all of their competitors were already full for sh*t, and it's easy to see why they were eliminated this week. This week: 17 Ryans Final Total Overall: 28 Ryans, 1 Dicque 4. Tian & Jaree (8) - When these two weren't eliminated, I was almost as disappointed as Tian was. They are on the first flight to Amsterdam, but miss the train once they get there because...they're fighting. When they get to the boat, they spend over an hour and a half just floating around because...they're fighting. And when it comes to building up a teammate's esteem and confidence in the team, I think Dr. Phil would have a few things to teach to Jaree. I was wishing that Tian would have grabbed Jaree's hair and shoved her face first in the manure pile. Now, that would have been television. This week: 20 Ryans Overall: 34 Ryans, 1 Dicque 5. Monica & Sheree (4) - If you were playing the NFL Spousal Reference Confessional Game this week, then you were sadly disappointed, because there was no mention of their professional athlete husbands. This week they also broke their consecutive Dicque streak. Heh heh heh, I said "Dicque" and "streak" in the same sentence. Back to TAR, anyhoo, they got a minor penalty for getting on the wrong side of the bridge to get the boat clue, and a more significant penalty for getting stuck in the mud a few feet after getting stuck in the dung. Hadn't you ladies had enough of the messy stuff by that point? This week: 6 Ryans Overall: 79 Ryans, 2 Dicques 6. Reichen & Chip (2) - The pretty boys decided to keep themselves clean and sweet-smelling in case they ran into any cute Dutch boys. Still, I will give a minor penalty to Chip for holding his hand forehead-level high when referring to the 15 foot manure pile. Chip obviously has little depth perception, which makes us pity Reichen. Wonder if Chip overestimated the size of anything else to Reichen in the earlier stages of their relationship? This week: 1 Ryan Overall: 47 Ryans, 1 Dicque 7. Dave & Jeff (T-6) - You know that the high point of every TAR episode for me is to see how long it takes Jeff & Dave to get lost. They equaled the effort of Episode 1 by getting lost at the very beginning of the episode on the way to the airport. To add insult to injury, they also joined the ATC's in the ill-fated quest to try to make a tight connection in Paris that required switching airports. Given your luck in finding airports, guys, you need to make those connections as easy as possible. And then they were surprised to be last at the next route marker. Who did they think was behind them, the Grannies from the last race? I guess they were thinking those ladies were still stuck at Heathrow. I am convinced that Dave & Jeff are the Most Likely To Get Permanently Lost. I feel so sorry for their cameraman...and that cameraman's family. This week: 17 Ryans Overall: 59 Ryans 8. Kelly & Jon (3) - I took it easy on them this week, since I thought the poo jokes were funny. That's the sort of banter that Mr. Bebo and I would gleefully engage in if we had to deal with that situation. See Kel, you do have something in common with cheerleaders after all! Jon tried to prove his manhood by bullying Reichen at the ticket counter. Sorry Jon, that orgasm comment from last week is going to stick with you for a long, long, time. And was anyone surprised when these two great communicators got lost on the boat? I didn't think so. I think these two should have a chocolate cake shaped like a pile of cow manure at their wedding reception...should the engagement last that long. Given Kelly's communication skills and Jon's issues with female orgasms, I'm taking bets that they don't make it through registering. ("You want that china? What are you, retarded?") This week: 4 Ryans Overall: 73 Ryans Next week, on Those Amazing Retards, someone touches Jaree's boob, and this time, I'm not referring to Tian. See you then! Bebo, Mistress of EVIL and your American Idol PTTE co-champ   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... TeamJoisey 06-29-03 1    ZING! cyclehausen 06-29-03 2  RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... minitroll 06-29-03 3  RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... Edgeless Grass 06-29-03 4  RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... dajaki 06-30-03 5  RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... wildchickenhunter 07-01-03 6  RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... magic_star 07-02-03 7  RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On Yo... L82LIFE 07-02-03 8

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TeamJoisey 3558 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 06-29-03, 01:25 AM (EST) 1. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Beebs, I'd give Chuck a whole lot more Ryans for failing to start his motor. The idiot sat there while the other teams ran up, read the clue, and got in the other boats!!! Further proof he has no experience with the little man in the boat. These reality show contestants need a reality check!   Top

cyclehausen 1197 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest" 06-29-03, 02:14 AM (EST) 2. "ZING!" Wow, that was a nice one TJ! lol Oh, and Mistress of Evil... J/K should get 5 Diques for barking at Reichen. That little line-jumping turd needed to be put in his place once and for all. Other than that, your assessment is splendid! Here's hoping David and Jeff aren't on it next week!!   Top

minitroll 3901 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 06-29-03, 01:29 PM (EST) 3. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Thanks Bebo, I love reading your TSI ever week. I loved all your references to Chuck's lack of committment, however I'm a little surprised you didn't give Jon and Kelly any Ryans for stealing our job by mocking the other teams. Maybe the Mistress of Evil needs to give them a lesson in remembering their place.   Top

Edgeless Grass 93 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 06-29-03, 10:51 PM (EST) 4. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Great Job Bebo! I just love your work! ----------- Bye!! -------------   Top

dajaki 1454 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 06-30-03, 01:42 PM (EST) 5. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Hee, hee, hee, hee. I love you Bebo!   Top

wildchickenhunter 3192 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 07-01-03, 09:02 AM (EST) 6. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Once again Bebo, you were way too nice to this group of losers. Then again you are way to nice to everyone. Thanks for the funny stuff, B!   Top

magic_star 2400 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model" 07-02-03, 01:07 PM (EST) 7. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Thanks again Bebo! These are really fun! T-Mac hits the three! Magic Win! Magic Win!   Top

L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 07-02-03, 06:28 PM (EST) 8. "RE: TSI, Episode 5: Well, Poo On You!" Bebo darling, have I told you lately that I heart you? Well I do! And I heart your TSI columns, too!   Top

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