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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"D&G JOKE THREAD!"
DrOmed 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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03-29-02, 08:24 PM (EST)
 
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"D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
I know some of you don't like them, but I also know there are a bunch of you who Love em. Im creating this thread to post or discover all the witty jokes D & G are making.So far my favorite: "Man I could sure use a long neck"!!!
That was hilarious. Maybe episode by episode.. Dr.Omed
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qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-30-02, 00:35 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
That was a groaner (but I mean that in a good way). 
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magic_star 2400 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"
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03-30-02, 01:00 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
Even though they might not be as funny as Kevin and Drew were, they are still very funny.I'm am going to list some of the things in the first 2 episodes that I thought were funny. Episode 1
1.When they are in the taxi cab,Gary says to the cab driver
"It's important because I want to convert,because I am Jewish".
Episode 2 2.Gary says "We may not have smarts or looks, but we have heart".Then he compares them to a tortoise and they both do the badu badu badu badu thing. 3. After they leave the somba club,Gary says "That girl was hot.If I just had a couple of more minutes with her,I could of gotten her number". 4.When Dave gets in the taxi cab after they decide to play volleyball,Dave says "Are you ready Rosie"? 5.When Shola asks Gary what his volleyball experience is, Gary says "I watch Baywatch". 6.When they read the clue that tells them to go to the bus station in Rio by any way possible,Gary says "Why don't we take the glider". Also you may consider all the stuff they said when their bus broke down until the point when they got a new bus funny.
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magic_star 2400 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"
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03-30-02, 01:38 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
Here are some funny things they said in episodes 3 and 4. Episode 3 7.When Gary sees the smilies getting chopped up and cooked,he says it is not fair or right,then he says "Where's Peto when you need them". Episode 4 8.At the Bushman's Woodcarvers Market,Dave says "Look at the natives over there.Then Gary says "They're called people,they're not natives,there's about 1800". 9.When they arrive near the pitstop Gary pulls out the giraffe and says "Boy am I in the mood for a long neck".
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J Slice 13166 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-31-02, 00:51 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
What's with all the Dave and Gary haters, I'm wondering... you guys are my true legion of board-talkers!!!::nods in agreement over amusing moments:: I'm looking forward to next week's obvious Chex-directed cart kick and "BOSTON SUCKS!" Why compare 'em to the Festers? They're two different teams! Yeah, they're both funny, but in a much different sort of way... Oh... and if any of you guys are interested... read below: -=J=-
President of the Unofficial Dave and Gary fanclub
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magic_star 2400 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"
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04-04-02, 04:50 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
So far we've found 12 jokes.Here are the episode 5 jokes:13.When Gary and Dave are trying to get airplane tickets toward the front of the plane Dave says "Can we sit next to the pilot,that's the best spot I think". 14.When Gary and Dave are on the bus taking them to the temple dancers Dave tells Gary to sit down,then Gary says "I don't want to go.I feel like I am going faster if I am standing up".Then Dave says "you're a wacko". 15.When they're going to the store to get the paper car, in the taxi Dave says "God what is that smell?Is that his car"?Then Gary says "Is that my shoes or is that Bangkok"? 16.When they go to the wrong temple and the guy makes them pray Gary says "I'm sorry I sent you a BMW,we didn't have any thing else,we didn't have an American car". 17.The race with Chris/Alex in the taxis including Dave kicking them and when he says "Boston sucks". This is one left out from episode 3: 18.I think Gary says "This airport is completely disfuctional" when they are having a hard time getting tickets.
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magic_star 2400 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"
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04-12-02, 06:18 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
Episode 6 19.When Gary/Dave are going to the flower market they make a joke about Thailand's words.Gary shows the paper with the word on it and says "This is one word in Thai language.Let me tell you something,I'm upset that the British never took the time to colonize this place,because nobody speaks English.So how can you make anybody go fast that takes 15 minutes to write one word". 20.When they talk about how Mary/Peach are weak.Gary says "Peaches can't kill anything except maybe a pink margarita". 21.When they are driving to the place where they wash the elephants,Gary tells Dave not to speed.Then they argue and Dave says "How do I tell you something Gary"?Then Gary says "Send me an email". 22.When Dave is washing the elephant he talks to it.Then he says to the elephant "Peanuts,I've got a hell of alot of peanuts,in my bag".
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Future quote in the year 2002" "The cubs win the World Series"!
Cubs record:2-6
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TeamJoisey 3558 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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04-12-02, 11:18 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
...and none of them were funny.
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qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-13-02, 10:37 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
I am a big D&G fan, but I agree with you that they seemed more b!tchy than funny. Maybe they got slivers in their shorts from sitting on the train so long (that would explain why all the teams seemed so crabby).
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qwertypie 9776 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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04-13-02, 10:41 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
And noone can be funny 100% of the time. I guess we shouldn't assume that everytime they open their mouth, that it is going to be funny and is meant to be a joke. 
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cmaybur 259 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-13-02, 12:54 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-13-02 AT 12:59 PM (EST)<< When Gary/Dave are going to the flower market they make a joke ... "Let me tell you something, I'm upset that the British never took the time to colonize this place, because nobody speaks English." >> You know... I remember this line and I found it very condescending and insulting when I heard it. This is one reason why so many people in the world hate American tourists; too many of them expect the rest of the world to speak English and get impatient or rude when they encounter a situation where their English isn't getting the desired results. I noticed this numerous times when I was in France a few weeks ago. Countless American tourists speaking English in restaurants, hotels, attractions, etc., without even making an attempt at speaking French. No French phrase book, no French dictionary, nothing. Not even asking the person they're speaking to if they speak English before starting. And then they wonder why they're being treated "rudely". Hello, it's France... people speak French! At least make an effort, or maybe next time pick an English-speaking country like Britain or Australia for your vacaction. Gary and Dave can make all the snarky comments they want about the country in which they are guests, but they made that comment while sitting in the back of a Thai taxicab and in the presence of the Thai driver. Another "Ugly American Moment" brought to you by The Amazing Race...
Chris
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curveball 225 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-23-02, 01:16 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
I hated them (ok, hate is a harsh word) I did not like tham at all at first, but I LMAO when he said that. They are so funny when they are a little pissy to each other.
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magic_star 2400 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"
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04-28-02, 12:47 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
This will probably be the last update unless they make a joke in the winner's mat in the last episode.Episode 8 I don't think there was anything funny in this episode, but I'm going to watch it one more time so if I here a joke I didn't here last time I'll post it. Episode 9 24.After they finish counting the $54 they begged for,Gary says "If we don't win,we can still like maybe... Dave-we can make a living...Gary-yeah we can make a little living." 25.When they get to the mat and find out they have finished last,Gary asks Phil for another chance and he asks him if it is the end.Then they argue over who should get off the mat first.Then Dave pushes Gary off the mat.
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Final Three:Oswald/Danny,Blake/Paige,Some team that gets left behind with the guidos
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Lowell 8 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-29-02, 10:08 AM (EST)
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23. " D&G JOKE THREAD!" |
Latest!!Updates
In the Thailand Flower market
Voice over
"Chex are not in their natural habitat
There are no toga parties here
No night clubs
No alcohol" Episode 8 InSydney During Begging
Gary" We're friendly creatures..." Considering the Roadblock
Gary,"I didn't do well in Auzzie in school" To the Drop dead gorgeous women in an AUZZIE COZZIE
Dave," You're looking fine by the way"
In Cooper Pedy
At the Golf Course
Dave," I'm a LEFTIE!!!"
after driving for such a long time... Upon stepping on the mat and receiving the face paint
Dave," Now they give us the war paint"
After On the early show
Gary,"Did you see us? We were the only ones mining(digging the wall), the others were just digging thru a pile of dirt!"
<D'OH the opals are IN the pile of dirt> Host,"Why did you change your detour plans?"
Gary,"I've been asking myself that question in the shower ever since." I Simply ADore Gary and Dave, right from the very start.
Its a pity their out.
I would have enjoyed more of their jokes
The ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW!!!!
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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