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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
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but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
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how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
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As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"An Excellent Simon Bash"
EnglProf 888 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-02-04, 02:10 PM (EST)
 
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"An Excellent Simon Bash" |
This article is from The Slate's Entertainment page-- the author hits Simon's ability right on the head and also comments on the AI voting phenomenon. Here are the highlights. The article's at http://slate.msn.com/id/2098000/
American Idol Chatter
Why doesn't Simon Cowell understand his own show?
When you look at American Idol's Simon Cowell, his buff plumpness packed into his fancy T-shirts, you might find another figure coming strangely to mind—William Shatner. More specifically, you might be reminded of the original Star Trek Shatner, who, even in early middle age, had to be girdled into his Enterprise stretch-wear. Both Shatner and Cowell are known for their histrionics: Shatner as Kirk looking into the alien heavens and tossing his head from side to side in B-movie despair; Cowell massaging his temples or rubbing his eyes in a hammy semblance of aesthetic displeasure. It took Shatner maybe 15 years before he began trading on his kitsch legacy by giving Kirkified poetry readings in cafes and punk clubs. So, with allowances for our tightening cycle of nostalgia and self-reference, we might give Cowell half a decade or so before he gets in on the joke that he is. Like Anne Robinson of The Weakest Link before him, Cowell has benefited from the weird TV conceit that, perhaps out of some sense of our own cultural inferiority, Americans should enjoy seeing other Americans derided by sarcastic Brits. And yet an indispensable part of the American Idol experience is watching the imperious Simon flounder in his own show. In the competition's early rounds, the bizarre comedy of the flamboyantly "bad" singers sails far over his head. He's like a figure-skating judge bitchily scribbling down low scores without looking up to realize he's at Wrestlemania. But more interesting are the later rounds, in which Simon tries to impose his own rigid ideal of Idolness—a dull combination of capable singing and synthetic sexiness—on the voting audience. And the audience, animated by its own far-from-elevated biases, rejects it. One vivid sign of Cowell's floundering: His famous putdowns, which—despite the stagy malice of the intent behind them—are toothless, indeed witless, in their execution. They are, in fact, more consistently cringe-worthy than the singing that provokes them. Cowell, who comes third in the line of judges, has even more time to hone the gist and syntax of his insults and these are what he comes up with: "You had about as much passion as a kitten mewing." "You sang like someone who sings on a cruise ship. Halfway through I imagined the ship sinking." "I think you're amazing ... amazingly dreadful." "That was extraordinary. Unfortunately, it was extraordinarily bad." It's one thing, and a fairly benign thing at that, to venture a croaking imitation of Luther Vandross or Celine Dion. It's another thing to present yourself as the next great wit-misanthrope, a combination of Oscar Wilde and H.L. Mencken, when your verbal dexterity is more akin to that of Regis Philbin. rest of article is at: http://slate.msn.com/id/2098000/ 
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shedevil 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"
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04-04-04, 01:12 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: An Excellent Simon Bash" |
That article just about put me to sleep, I think Simon is great and most of the time he's right on the money. In fact the past 2 weeks have been so bad talent wise, that he's becoming the only thing worth watching on the show.
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EnglProf 888 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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04-06-04, 04:18 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: An Excellent Simon Bash" |
I like Simon too, and he does seem to offer the most realistic advice about what they're all doing wrong...BUT, he's not nearly as clever as he thinks he is. That's what this article's saying about Simon. It doesn't take a genius to say a cruise singer sounds like she's on a sinking ship. I think the point is that Simon doesn't need to act as though what's about to come out of his mouth is incredibly witty-- and then he doesn't need to look so pleased with himself after he's said something only mildly quipp-y. He's more fun to watch than Paula and Randy, but he's not nearly sharp enough to warrant his self-congratulatory ego.
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unitabackup 175 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-06-04, 04:40 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: An Excellent Simon Bash" |
Big ego? Yep.I'll go 50% on the quips being not as funny/good as he thinks they are, etc., because even jr high put downs have always made me laugh. Fart jokes too. Oh, well.... Speaking of Jr. High, maybe that's it.... That whole childish put down/spiderman comic book thing - I mean, isn't that the target audience? Oh, never mind.... probably was just a brain fart.
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TeamJoisey 3558 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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04-21-04, 11:52 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: An Excellent Simon Bash" |
Simon is the star of the show. Simon IS the show.
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