I am very sorry to report this news. The CPMT will not be used in this episode summary. I tried, I really did. I was even going to make some things up with Chiwhora and the popcorn or something. But it was not to be. But like the twist that will occur tomorrow, I promise you a trick or two up my sleeeve.

If you want to know what happened last time, go read my previous two summaries. I do have an issue however, with the opening. Did Arnie go look for the most unattractive pictures of the hamsters to put in the opening? Can’t he update it? Some of those pics make me want to shoot my TV.

Anyway, Josh Booger (I call him this not just because of his desire to be Mike Boogie, but because he looks like what the offspring of Mike Boogie and Booger from the Revenge of the Nerds movies would look like) is calling Chiwhora a treacherous and diabolical b!tch. Ok, I have to say this and I am being honest. Because of this, I am beginning to like him. Plus he shaved! We are shown a conversation between him and Leesa and they are talking about the aforementioned diabolical b!tch. He is saying that Chiwhora was going to vote out Leesa all along, that she hated her, etc. Chiwhora told Roderic and Josh Booger that Leesa was not to be trusted. Silly me, I thought in this game, you weren’t supposed to trust anyone.

Let’s backtrack a minute. Before the nominations occurred, Chiwhora went around and got everyone’s word that they wouldn’t evict Roderic. Well, apparently their “word” means about as much as “I’ll call you” to Chiwhora because we get the notion that Roderic may be on his way to Mexico with that other guy that looked just like him. Dani is talking to her new best friend, Leesa about voting Roderic out. They are distracted by the huge commotion of Roderic, Josh Booger and Chiwhora (I have no idea when she got there, but she showed up). All the stuff that makes for good ratings. Josh Booger is calling Chiwhora a b!tch again. Roderic is saying,”I’m on the block just as much as you.” “She’s a b!tch! Look what she did to Leesa” Keep saying it Josh Booger, I never tire of it. Again, it makes me like you more and more. Dani and Leesa are eavesdropping and a lightbulb goes off in Leesa’s head when she realizes that they are talking about her.

Leesa walks out of the bedroom and joins the conversation. She tells them Dani’s credo, “My mouth shut, my eyes open”. Whatever. Chiwhora, who is all about the girl power, runs after Leesa. “Are you still my best friend?” OMG, I just returned to third grade.

Josh decides he has had enough of Chiwhora trying to sell everyone the Brooklyn Bridge and decides to pack. Even though he was doing this last ep, he started again. I missed the part where he unpacked, but oh well. Roddy goes and talks to him, convinces him to stay. In what becomes Homoerotic moment #1, we see a loving glance pass between Josh Booger and Roderic.

Let me say, it was a busy couple hours in the BB3 house. Leesa and Dani are discussing getting rid of Roderic. Leesa says she will nominate them next week. But Dani says, why waste time, lets do it now. So she has Leesa thinking about it. Especially after Chiwhora and Leesa were in HOH and Chiwhora told her that she wanted it to be a tie and she knew what Jason’s vote was going to be. Right then, Chiwhora’s nose grew like a foot.

Back to Josh Booger and Roderic, Josh declares that since Roderic picked that treacherous b!tch Chiwhora over him, he is leaving. So again he’s packing. Man, either stay or leave, we don’t really care what you do. Homoerotic moment #2 occurs as Roderic smiles sexily and convinces Josh Booger to stay. You know Roderic, I think you have less chance to catch a disease from Josh Booger than Chiwhora.

OMG! There are other people in the house! There is Geriatric and I swear he just let loose a big juicy fart. Then we, the viewing public, are subjected to see him burp, fart, hiccup, pick his teeth, was his Hershey stained undies in the kitchen sink and put his sweaty shirts in the dryer with other people’s clean clothes. And he thinks he is hygienic. Geriatric, if I ever have the misfortune of running into you on the street, my hygienic ass is running for the hills.

It’s 9:17 EDST and we finally see Marci. He’s just saying that Geriatric is gross, but we barely see him this ep and I thought I would mention him. The hamsters are discussing that Geriatric has a lot of useless facts. Now last ep, we discussed how Roderic has a lot of useless facts stored in his brain, so is Roderic looking at himself in a few years?

I now want to establish this little known fact. Dani can do math. She has figured out that they only need three votes, count em three votes, to get rid of Roderic. Her mouth is watering just like mine is when I am presented a rare prime rib dinner and I haven’t eaten in like three days. Jason, remember him? Apparently he has qualms about voting Roderic out and he won’t do it. Hello, what did you do last week? You voted out Erod? Marci is non committal right then, but that will change. Leesa just might. Gerry’s thinking about it.

Josh is sad again. He’s crying again. Chiwhora goes and tells her b!tch Roderic to talk to him. Josh Booger and Roderic state the obvious for those of us that are unaware, they are on the chopping block. Josh is gonna use the veto on Roderic if he wins it. In his happiness, Roderic gets on top of Josh Booger and I swear I saw some up and down movement. Homoerotic moment # 3.

After the commercial where I realize that BB3 is NOT going to be shown on Saturday because they are showing the World Champion Patriots playing someone, I couldn’t catch who. So BB3 fans in the Boston area, check your local listings.

It’s the ever exciting Veto challenge! It’s some memory game where they have five scenarios and they have to place them in order of when they occurred. I am paying attention when I scream out in horror, my pen drops and a blinding light appears before me. I just saw Geriatric in a saggy diaper. My sight started to return when I see it again! I have visions of Apocalypse Now, “The horror, the horror”. I can’t watch the rest, but Leesa wins. This all occurs at approximately 9:27 and we see that other hamster, I think his name is Jason.

Leesa has proclaimed herself the new sherrif in town and has finally figured out what all of America and Canada knows. That Chiwhora is a big fat liar. They are amazed at how long Chiwhora’s nose has gotten in a few short days. I am guessing her nose is now about three feet long now.

It’s now time for the most exciting part of the show, I know all of you were awaiting this moment with bated breath. Its America’s choice! They win a microwave and eat lots of popcorn. I just bet Geriatric is a double dipper. He has that look about him. But the very best part of the microwave is that there is a clock on it. Let me tell you, I should just end this summary on a high note and leave it at that.

But I won’t, because Chiwhora is talking about how Josh Booger is a sad boy. Well little Miss Bright Star in the Universe, what do you think? You promised to never put him up for eviction or vote for him, yet you did both. Yep, he has every right to be pissed at you. We again see Josh crying and again we see Roderic comforting him. They declare their love for each other. It’s very sweet. Homoerotic moment #4.

After seeing that horrid Jared on the Subway ads, it is time for the veto meeting. Before the meeting, Josh Booger is pleading Roderic’s case for him. Leesa at least waits until Josh Booger leaves before laughing.

Roderic is non committal. Josh Booger goes on and on and on about what a horrible b!tch Chiwhora is. That in her time here, she has lied, went after Leesa to vote her off, etc. All the other hamsters are nodding agreement because he is telling the truth. Chiwhora is taking it. In her deluded mind, he is lying. Whatever, and girl, get a razor and shave those pits. Leesa doesn’t use the veto. Is the Veto power even worth it? It’s been used once!

Anyways, Chiwhora needs reassurance that she is still everyone’s best friend. They all hug her and try their damnedest not to laugh at her. Trust me, it’s really hard not to laugh at her.

Lady T-mean Uber b!tch