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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Welcome to TSI"
Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-30-03, 12:51 PM (EST)
 
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"Welcome to TSI" |
First, there was CSI.
Then, there was CSI: Miami.
Now, CSI has taken over - we have Everybody Loves CSI, My Big Fat Greek CSI, King of CSI, and Without a CSI.It's seems only logical (well, as logical as anything associated with a reality show could be), to move to...TSI! (cue theme music)
Who am I?
Who who who who?
I really do not knowWho am I?
Who who who who?
I do not have a clue Who am I?
Who?
Welcome to TSI...the TAR Stupidity Index. I am your Evil Genius hostess with the mostest, Bebo. Each week, I'll look back at our TAR contestants and rate them according to their stupid moves. Please remember, this is purely a subjective measure, and if you disagree with me...well, you should have thought of this first and you didn't, so there. Off to the ratings! Each team will be given a certain number of Ryans, depending on their level of stupidity. Why is the meter named Ryan? After Survivor Ryan, the last CBS reality contestant to leave his particular brand of cluelessness on the world of reality TV.  Occasionally, I will also award teams a Dicque, in honor of Richard Hatch, the original strategy champ of CBS reality TV.  For example, this week I will award 1 Dicque to the three teams who tied for first. Since there was a trip to Hawaii attached to winning, they ended up avoiding any potential ill will by stepping on the mat together and forcing a near-bankrupt airline to cough up three times as many trips as anticipated. Steve & Josh: OK, I was prepared to mark a lot of Ryans for them, given Josh's resemblance to Jack Osborne and the sight of him in those pathetic long camo shorts, but was pleasantly surprised. As part of the three-way tie, these guys were crafty enough to get ahead without alienating other teams. They even managed to get back into the good graces of the one team they ticked off by offering assistance later, in the form of guiding them to the tickets for the second bus. Since they were already on the first bus, they lost nothing except a possible grudge. They get an additional Dicque awarded for strong strategy.
0 Ryans, 2 Dicques Jon & Al:Before they got their tickets, they checked the arrival time of the other flight. It didn't gain them much time-wise, but it showed an understanding of the little things that can get you ahead, so I will reward them with a Dicque. Got a Ryan for showing up at the pit stop with their clown noses on. We get it, guys.
1 Ryan, 1 Dicque Amanda & Chris: As soon as I saw the pigtails, I wanted to start awarding Ryans. When I heard her described as 'evil', I was intrigued, especially when she showed a foul mouth and a fouler spirit. Could nuke 'em for not checking the ticket times before pulling the 4am bus ticket out, but I'm not going to nuke them badly since they are tied for first. Chris telling Amanda not to be like Flo shows a knowledge of the game, which could prove quite useful in future rounds.
2 Ryans, 1 Dicque Millie & Chuck: I'll let everyone else joke about the virgin part, because I prefer to hone in on the fact that Chuck can't make a commitment after 12 years of dating. And Millie is still dating the guy? That's worth a couple of Ryans right there. Since they are tied for first, I'll cut them a break on how stupid she looked crawling in the snow.
2 Ryans, 1 Dicque Russell & Cindy: They showed ingenuity by taking the illegal left turn. They get a Ryan for getting to the airport first and ending up on the second flight out. Since it didn't cost them that much time-wise, I'll be gentle.
1 Ryan Steve & Dave: Nothing really stupid to speak of, unless you want to count the injury as being stupid. I don't, I call it clumsy. Almost earned a Dicque with their determination and perserverance. Almost.
no score Kelly & Jon: I'm sure they'll give me some material before we hear the words, "Kelly, Jon, you are the last team to arrive. You have both been eliminated from the race."
no score Reichen & Chip: Hm, the train vs. cab? You guys make a cute couple, but cuteness doesn't win this race. Kudos for being nice to Steve & Debra about the room, but too bad they're gone and your niceness doesn't buy you anything alliance-wise.
4 Ryans Steve & Debra: Typically, you'd think the eliminated team would finish last. But it was mostly because they were outmatched athletically, not because they were stupid. Debra did take an eternity on the wire, and Steve did cry, both of which will add Ryans to their score. Save the drama for your mama. But at least in this race, they will be guaranteed to not finish last.
10 Ryans Tian & Jaree: My my my. Where do I begin with you two? How about the fact that you packed a bag too damn heavy to tote - and realized it before you left the freakin' parking lot? Once we add in getting lost, having to get directions multiple times before you comprehend (that guy told you 3 times, ding-a-ling!), and spending more time charming the locals for a free cup of coffee instead of looking for a cab. HELLO! It's a race, dingbats! If Debra weren't so bleeding slow, you'd have been the ones to hear Phil's farewell speech. Dumb luck is all that saved you whiny girls. If you planned to show that models have brains like other people do, then you failed miserably.
10 Ryans Dave & Jeff: Did your mommies drop you on your heads when you were little? Multiple times? They couldn't even get out of the stadium parking lot. Then they went along with Reichen & Chip on the train instead of the cab idea. And what about heading for the snowmobiles, when they had picked the other detour? Proof positive that guys in decent shape are not locks to perform well in TAR. Current leaders in the Most Likely To Get Permanently Lost race.
20 Ryans Monica & Sheree: They started off well, asking the cop for directions to the airport. But then, they had me screaming at my TV set, even louder than I yelled at T & J. I didn't think anyone could steal last place from the models or D & J, until these two went for the fast forward. Never mind that they had a 2 hour lead on 5 teams when they took it! So it moved them up to 4th, big deal. Their husbands may be the NFL players, but I think they've been tackled too many times without helmets.
50 Ryans  Bebo, Mistress of the Painfully Obvious and your American Idol PTTE co-champ
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Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-30-03, 01:33 PM (EST)
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5. "Judges' ruling" |
Who better to skewer these idiots than the Evil One herself? No one, of course.  I love the Ryans and Dicques, but you only gave Tian and Jaree 10 Ryans? Their names should have earned them that much,
let alone their chronic lazy slowness. There's been a judges' conference, and it was decided that yes, Tian and Jaree will only be awarded 10 Ryans for this week. On the names, they will not be penalized, since they are not named Steve, Dave, or Jon. And lazy slowness is laziness, not stupidity. Since I sometimes decide to be lazy, and I am not stupid, I have therefore decided that mere laziness does not result in a Ryan. * removes judge's robe * Bebo, Mistress of the Painfully Obvious and your American Idol PTTE co-champ
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Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-30-03, 01:35 PM (EST)
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7. "Judge's ruling" |
*puts judge's robe back on*About Steve and Dave-Bebo please reconsider giving them 1 Dicque for their sneaky airport line cutting trick. I know they had help... That is exactly why they will not be awarded a Dicque. At most, it would be worth a Rudy, but...I dunno. *takes off judge's robe again* Can't wait to see more of Phil's turtleneck collection! I hear ya! Bebo, Mistress of the Painfully Obvious and your American Idol PTTE co-champ
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wildchickenhunter 3192 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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05-30-03, 03:31 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
I guess if I am going to get in this game I better put on my cup!
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L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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05-30-03, 03:55 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
*Bows to the Evil One*Bebo, you outdid yourself with this one! I love the Ryan and Dicque point system. Tackled too many times without a helmet, indeed!
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TeamJoisey 3558 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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05-30-03, 05:32 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
Hoo-Rah!!This is devious Bebo at her finest. Best part is, she will do this each week. That's better than a one shot summary. Oh devious one, I'm happy this worked out for the best. (Although I wish I'd thought of this first!)
These reality show contestants need a reality check!
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thelastboyscout 22 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"
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05-31-03, 09:28 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
nice article and what a great way to start the season... but... its really more of a DAN thing than a RYAN thing.  and it would sound well with a DICQUE. (Dicques and Dans)
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Waruv 69 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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05-31-03, 10:23 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
I am completely offended by your use of my name for the bad side, I am the greatest being ever, I deserve to be worth more than a badly translated Spanish name. </Sarcasm/Cockyness take your pick>Anyway, a great new indicator for us to decide on the stupidity of people. Usually I would say that the Dicques/Ryans should be a little more proportional, then I remember that we are dealing with reality show contestants who can't find their way out of a baseball stadium, so null that idea. No complaints here at all, quite a good idea at that.
---
"Listen: People are always saying, 'Rickey says Rickey.' But it's been blown way out of proportion. People might catch me, when they know I'm ticked off, saying, 'Rickey, what the heck are you doing, Rickey?' They say, 'Darn, Rickey, what are you saying Rickey for? Why don't you just say, 'I?' But I never did. I always said, 'Rickey,' and it become something for people to joke about."
--Rickey Henderson
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PepeLePew13 26134 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-03-03, 06:41 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
A fantastic idea, Bebo! Love the concept of Dicques and Ryans -- and maybe you could add in a Heave bonus marker for future edition, namely anyone who does a funny pratfall a la Debra/Steve.Looking forward to the next TSI after Thursday's show.
Click here to rank all 96 Survivors!
 
Heidi: My biggest assets to the tribe are my athletic skills and my intelligence. I've lost one of them.
Jiffy: Which one?
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laureli 152 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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06-04-03, 01:13 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Welcome to TSI" |
Wow Bebo! I so loved this! (shyly lowers her eyes) You are my hero.
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Mmmm Topaz
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