Note to readers/fans/stalkers: This is my weekly Diva rant, similar to the popular and critically praised 'Gay Survivor Journal.' It is an exclusive to the RealityTVWorld American Idol board.
Please note that my opinions are based solely on image, style and originality, not on voice. Some of the biggest selling recording artists of all time couldn't sing for crap. A short list of Stars with marginal vocal talent would include: Cher, Bette Midler, Britney Spears, Enrique Iglesias, Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Kylie Minogue... the list goes on and on. What they had was Star Quality... so what I am looking for is a DIVA (male or female) with that X-factor.Gay Idol Journal – Bee Gees Edition
This Week's Diva Rankings
I would like to preface this by saying that I really had a difficult time choosing Diva of the Week, as none of the remaining contestants were truly worthy. I settled the score by comparing each of the contestants’ best performances, and ignoring their worst. Some will say my choice of Clay was biased, noting my recent article: http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID44/152.shtml
If I am biased, well so be it. I never freaking claimed to be unbiased, now did I?
1. Clay Aiken
Diva of the Week.
Clay wins the Diva Tiara this week (for the first time) for his performance of ‘To Love Somebody.’ This was perhaps the best we’ve ever seen him (and that’s not even factoring in his gloriously effortless vocal performance.) He strode onto the stage looking confident and smooth in his black fitted suit, black dress shirt, and a gorgeous royal blue silk tie that was absolutely perfect for his coloring. I couldn’t have picked a better look for him had I done it myself.
Counter-balancing this Diva effort was his embarrassing rendition of ‘Grease.’ I appreciate his efforts to mock himself and his image, but this simply went too far. In fact, his hip-swiveling mock-sexy performance reminded me of Justin Guarini’s version of P.Y.T. last season. (Trust me, those who may have missed it, it wasn’t pretty.) And he earns a Fashion Citation for his silly retro ensemble: red leather jacket, white T-shirt, fitted jeans, and red suede tennis shoes. (On the other hand, swap the white T for a white bustier, and throw in some random points and kicks, and this would have been a quintessential Kim Caldwell Diva appearance.)
Also, I am compelled to offer him an Attitude Adjustment for his shameless vote-begging. A Diva doesn’t beg for ANYTHING. A Diva has audiences begging for him!
2. Kimberly Locke
Runner-Up Diva of the Week
Kim slips into the number two spot, too bland to award Diva of the Week, but too unobjectionable to place below the other two losers. Usually, her laid-back style strikes me as classy and mature. This week, she came off as dull and low-energy. Sorry, K.Lo fans, I’m just calling it as I see it.
Her best look was for her version of ‘I Just Wanna Be Your Everything,’ where she wore her trademark black slacks (no camel-toe this time, thank the Lord) a very well fitted black dress shirt (untucked) and high-heeled black leather boots. She looked deliciously curvy in his outfit, and her slightly relaxed hairstyle was feminine and refreshing.
Less successful was her downright frumpy appearance for ‘Emotion.’ In a gauzy, asymmetrical peasant skirt (looking like something Stevie Nicks might reject) a grommeted belt, a tight cleavage-baring knit blouse, and a plain denim overshirt, she simply wasn’t radiating Diva. This would be something she should wear to Sizzler for their all-you-can-eat shrimp special. Not on stage in front of millions.
On a side note, Kim’s backup singers blatantly out-sung her in the second song. A Diva simply wouldn’t allow this. A backup singer that out-sings Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston is fired on the spot. Either sing out, Kim, or insist that the backup singers pipe down.
3. Joshua Gracin
Josh reaches his highest place on the Diva Rankings this week, simply because all the better people have been eliminated. Both of his numbers this week were somewhat hit and miss.
For ‘Jive Talking’ he made the most of what he has, image-wise, in black slacks, a shiny black dress shirt, and boots. The oversized dog-tag necklace was a bit much, but I’m quibbling. All-in-all, this outfit was perhaps his most successful to date. What killed this song for me was his frenetic gesturing and prancing, the come-hither finger wave, the incessant Kim Caldwell Patented Upward Pointing, and the sheer and utter desperation of it all.
His second number, ‘To Love Somebody,’ was better physically, but the outfit had to go. In a lace-up tan peasant blouse, black jeans, and brown boots, he looked downright lame. (And what’s with the pit-stains? I know heavy people sweat more, but use some antiperspirant, Josh!)
Also, I must offer him a Diva Deduction for choosing to sing ‘To Love Somebody,’ knowing that Clay had done the same. And Diva knows you never sing someone else’s song… unless you can do it better. Josh, I’m afraid, made a noble effort, but simply couldn’t sing the song as well as Clay. A fatal error, I’m afraid.
Finally, another Attitude Adjustment for Josh this week. Perhaps responding to criticism last week that he was too bitchy and negative, this week he chose every opportunity to blatantly brown-nose the audience. His plea for votes was transparent and disingenuous. As I said earlier about Clay, a Diva does not need to beg for ANYTHING, especially not popularity.
4. Ruben Studdard
At the bottom of the heap this week is Ruben, with not one but two Fashion Citations.
For ‘Nights on Broadway’ he wore what looked like denim pajamas, accessorized with brown and white stitching and brown pointy boots. Need I say more?
For ‘How Can You Mend a Broken Heart’ he showed up in a striped short sleeved dress shirt, tan cap, and blasted jeans, looking more like a chain-gang prisoner (or a train conductor) than a star.
Fashion disses aside, I must offer Ruben some props this week for an improvement in his performance style. In the past he has been guilty of grinning foolishly through serious songs, thus seeming like he has no idea what the lyrics are about. This week, for ‘Broken Heart,’ he resisted the urge to grin, and appeared to really feel the emotions of the lyrics. Perhaps because of this, his voice sounded smoother and lovelier than ever. Nice improvement, Ruben!
Week 1-9 Ratings/Averages
1. Clay (8,2,3,5,5,4,2,2,1) 3.6
2. Kim L. (10,4,9,7,3,1,3,3,2) 4.7
3. Ruben (9,7,6,4,4,5,5,5,4) 5.4
4. Joshua (7,8,8,8,8,6,6,4,3) 6.4
RIP
Trenyce (1,1,5,3,2,2,1,1) 2.0
Carmen (6,5,2,2,6,7,4) 4.6
Kim C. (4,3,1,1,1,3) 2.2
Ricky (5,6,7,6,7) 6.2
Corey (12,11,10,9) 10.5
Julia (3,10,4) 5.7
Charles (11,9) 10.0
Vanessa (2) 2.0
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Bebo says...919 beats 205 - I am your American Idol and the Baroness of Babedom.