Note to readers/fans/stalkers: This is my weekly Diva rant, similar to the popular and critically praised 'Gay Survivor Journal.' It is an exclusive to the RealityTVWorld American Idol board.
Please note that my opinions are based solely on image, style and originality, not on voice. Some of the biggest selling recording artists of all time couldn't sing for crap. A short list of Stars with marginal vocal talent would include: Cher, Bette Midler, Britney Spears, Enrique Iglesias, Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Kylie Minogue... the list goes on and on. What they had was Star Quality... so what I am looking for is a DIVA (male or female) with that X-factor.This Week's Diva Rankings
1. Trenyce
Diva of the Week.
As I mourn her untimely demise, I offer Trenyce the DoW crown for the fourth time this season. Girlfriend appeared in not one, but two Divalicious ensembles this week… and both of them truly straddled the fine line between ‘retro-chic’ and ‘cartoony misfire.’ In fact, on anyone else, the silky purple/blue/pink/yellow fluorescent number she wore to sing “Proud Mary” would have earned a fashion citation. (Picture it, for example, on Kim Locke, and you’ll see what I mean.) But on Ms. Trenyce, as an obvious nod to Tina Turner, the leg-baring, movement-friendly confection was absolutely stunning. Later, as she sang Sedaka’s “Love Will Keep Us Together,” she appeared in a surprisingly-girlish hot-pink and navy vertical-striped skirt and matching navy top (with hot-pink spaghetti straps.) The ‘too cute’ pink necklace, pink hoop earrings, and pink daisy hair adornment were perhaps a bit much for my taste (Pepto-Bismol isn’t my personal favorite color) but all of it was certainly in keeping with this week’s theme, and with Sedaka’s most innocuous bubble-gum pop song. Even her hair (which I assume was a wig) was sleek and period-perfect. Girlfriend went all-out this week, vocally, attitude-wise, and sartorially. None of the remaining contestants have the gift she has for self-adornment. This critic will sorely miss her. Long Live Diva Trenyce!
2. Clay Aiken
Runner Up Diva of the Week.
Clay raised his game this week, and I for one was impressed. As he stepped onstage to sing “Build Me Up Buttercup,” in a fitted black suit, charcoal fitted dress-shirt (tucked in, no less… and with opal cufflinks!) and black boots (nothing can mask his clownishly-large feet, but that’s another story) I nearly had a coronary. Could it be Clay has actually developed fashion sense?
But Clay’s true Diva Moment of the season came as he began his haunting version of “Solitaire.” Clad in basic black, with amber backlighting framing his head like a halo, Clay got the full Celine treatment… and ran with it. (Someone in the production crew clearly wants him to win.) Standing stock still, and free of the affectations some have complained about before, Clay sang about how ‘as life goes on around him everywhere, he’s playing solitaire.’ In that moment he became every imperfect teenager in America… every adult that fears growing old alone… and everyone who has a huge gift and the huge fear of failure that goes along with it. No tricks here, just talent and heart. You go, Clay.
(Do I sense that Clay will be stepping up to assume Trenyce’s Diva tiara? I hope so.)
3. Kimberly Locke
It was a mixed week for my girl Kimberly, but hardly a Motown-level disaster. As she belted out “Heard it through the Grapevine,” she wore a stunning black buttery leather jacket, and an unfortunate cream slip-like blouse (with black lace trim) that was ill-fitting and frumpy, causing her rather over-large breasts to draw attention, I’m afraid, from her gorgeous face. Better was her choice of girlish-pink for her rendition of “Where the Boys Are,” adapting a modern look with the use of a decidedly-period color. I never really thought I would say this about Kimberly… but ‘cute’ and ‘perky’ do seem to be part of her repertoire… and her cute pink denim jacket and perky hat were spot-on. (Also spot-on, and true to the period, was her choice of subtle, natural makeup. True beauty doesn’t need a lot of enhancement.)
4. Joshua Gracin
This week I’m giving Josh Gracin an attitude adjustment for his insulting and violent comebacks to Simon’s (valid) criticisms (A true Diva has a thicker skin that that, Josh!) and for his blatant display of disrespect for all of the judges. He walked around with an angry, chip-on-the-shoulder attitude, which left his face in that Metamucil grimace (you know, the one he gets when he hits a high note?) for the entire hour. (How on Earth could anyone vote for him after that display? I found it to be immature, arrogant, and unbecoming for a U.S. Marine. Just my opinion, of course, but that is why you read this column, isn’t it?)
By contrast, his attire was a bit better than usual this week. I’ve been begging him to wear darker colors… and he finally listened. I actually liked the sort-of-futuristic looking grey leather biker jacket he wore for “Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye,” (though it would look better on ME than him, with some nice black low-rise jeans and a tight white T.) I also approved of the black dress shirt and jeans combo he wore for “Bad Blood.” (Josh still looked increasingly-wide, as expected, but these outfits were more flattering than others he has worn in the past.)
While I’m on the topic, what is up with the incessant use of unflattering up-angles and high-angle-back-views of the contestants? No one, I repeat NO ONE looks good from these perspectives, especially wider-than-he-is-tall Josh. Please cut these body-image-challenged contestants some slack and avoid the hideous camera angles!
5. Ruben Studdard
I’m afraid I have to rank Ruben last for a hit and (huge) miss week. First, I offer a fashion citation, for gross misuse of fabric. As he walked onstage to sing “Ain’t too Proud to Beg,” he was clad in what appeared to be a huge grayish trash bag. (Or possibly one of those shiny black plastic outfits that some heavy people wear to the gym to help them sweat out more water weight.) As he came closer to the camera, I realized it was actually some sort of leather… or imitation leather… or pleather… or something… but it was frightening. Simon’s (cruel but hysterical) comment that a lot of cows died for this outfit was one of the best lines of the evening.
On the good news side, the longish chocolate-brown leather jacket and hat he chose for “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” were absolutely perfect, perhaps the most stylish outfit he has worn thus far in the competition. Still, this failed to erase my memory of his previous sartorial sins.
Week 1-8 Ratings/Averages
1. Clay (8,2,3,5,5,4,2,2) 3.9
2. Kim L. (10,4,9,7,3,1,3,3) 5.0
3. Ruben (9,7,6,4,4,5,5,5) 5.6
4. Joshua (7,8,8,8,8,6,6,4) 6.9
RIP
Trenyce (1,1,5,3,2,2,1,1) 2.0
Carmen (6,5,2,2,6,7,4) 4.6
Kim C. (4,3,1,1,1,3) 2.2
Ricky (5,6,7,6,7) 6.2
Corey (12,11,10,9) 10.5
Julia (3,10,4) 5.7
Charles (11,9) 10.0
Vanessa (2) 2.0
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