Ah, online translators never fail to make me giggle."Welcome to Austria (not Australia). I hope you like my white wig. I got it from the old Emperor Franz Josef.
He loved cake, too. Oh yes do not forget Phil to give your wood.*
Mel, congratulations on your agreement with God. You have the phrase "blow" a whole new meaning to.*
Linda. My apologies for the confusing signs. Yellow and red arrows are not just translate from German***."
*****
Alternate translations:
*...don't forget to give Phil your wood.
** You've given the word "beat" a whole new meaning. ("Schlagen" is "to hit" or "to beat" eg: Schlagzeug = drum and Schlagsahne = whipped cream.)
*** My apologies for those confusing signs. Yellow and red arrows just don't translate from German.