And in one of those stunning twists which will make Grodner's bosses sue ABC all the faster, public voting on contestants begins before the public ever meets the contestants. The show premieres on 6/18 and the voting lines? Are already open. Gosh, here's hoping those first impressions are really accurate.

On the other hand, ABC has done one thing Endemol has refused to try since BB launched: spent money. Not on the prize -- it's half of what the hamsters dream of -- but on the location. Take a look at the competition's set designs.

http://www.abctheglasshouse.com/inside-the-glass-house/

Here's a few FAQs no one bothered asking. Note the incredibly restricted Internet access times -- you will peek in on the cast when ABC says you can, period. No rolling blackouts and extended shots of fish, sure, but you spy on their schedule or none.

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-glass-house/show-faq

And meet the original crop of -- well, 'hamsters' is taken. Shall we go with guinea pigs? Because the lawsuit is going to make them squeal.

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-glass-house/bios

I haven't read all the self-promotion yet, but the bits I have gone through make it painfully clear that some of these little piggies did their own compositions. It also seems as if casting quotas are in full effect from Day One. And of course, it's ABC, who cannot make a reality show work without finding a way to cancel it. Hopes are not high. Hopes do not exist. But the guinea pigs might have the show canceled out from under them before anyone gets paid, and that's really the best of all possible fates.

Oh, and last for the links: the voting page. Because don't you feel informed enough to make a decision on the vital issues of the day?

http://glass-house.abc.go.com/shows/the-glass-house/view-and-vote/

No?

Well, that never stopped anyone before.

All I can see of the current poll: 'For twenty-four hours, should the players eat?' I want to vote no.