Helllooo Ladieeesss!!

Just what is the deal here?? I come in with this spectacular idea of all of the ladies playing Twister, and raise $27 dollars millions for their fantabulous talent show, and now I have to leave? How rude!!

I am missing several super shiny tank tops and lots of short shorts too! I'm not leaving until I find my clothes, Mr. Bigshot John Boy. Perhaps you know where they are? Hmmmmm???

And while I'm at it (gosh darn it, I am on a roll here), I somehow acquired a wife while I was here!! What is with you ladies?? You do know that I, ahhh, well...hmmmmm, that girls are...you know, like, ummmm...not my first choice in a partner, don't youuuuuuu???? Do I have to spell it out for you? Oh, pleassseee don't make me say it. So, again, another reason that I am not leaving until this little matter is taken care of. What do you think this is doing to my dear, darling Dr. Stanley?? Oh, the poor thing.

Ladies, a quick idea to run past you while the other matters are being resolved...what do you think about me starting my own GAME SHOW? I just got this wild idea that since the Twister game was such a money maker at the talent show, I should turn it into a revolutionary, ever so interactive show! Do you like?? Don't be shy with your insults input!! I just know this is going to be the next big show sweeping the nation!

Did I just see that Partridge boy in a pair of my short shorts?