LAST EDITED ON 11-18-02 AT 02:58 PM (EST)Part 2 of Terrier Makes A Lovely Fish
FishFaces are at the Gare. “Let’s go. Let’s go” says Teri. “Stop talking to me like that Teri,” says Ian. A-O-M click. So it’s okay for Ian to bark like that at Teri, but not okay for Teri to do the same thing back? A-O-M click. The two antagonistic teams meet up, and Ian does ask what happened to “Jill & John, er John.” So, okay minus one click for even showing concern or interest. Zach says they’re nowhere to be found, which is editorial cue to...
cut to JV&Jill driving, telling us how much it sucks “to be in second to last place.” John Vito is down, but Jill is putting on a positive face, telling him they’ve been down before and they’re “professionals at moving up.” JV&J truly has the best inter-personal relationship of any team at this point. Maybe someone out there cares to provide evidence from past seasons to disagree? Anyhoo, Go Spooky Team! Yay!
Over in the AirBus, Aaron is perkily driving, suggesting stopping to get a map of Casablanca. Ya know, if this team had always been friendly and focussed on the Race like this, chances are good they wouldn’t be at the back of the pack. Anyway Arianne sounds worried about being eliminated, with a catch in her throat...awww (hee)
FZ say IT are nipping at their heels. Flo wants to go for the FF, but Zach would rather kick ass and get ahead of the FishFaces and still have the FF for later. Teri tells Ian that if they use the FF now, they’re cutting their throats for later. Oooh. That’s a little over the top, isn’t it? Ian thinks if they don’t go for it, their throats are cut. It’s a cutthroat game no matter which way you look at, I gather. He is certain FZ are planning on going for the FF, and indeed Flo is still arguing in favor of going for the FF. Leaving aside the FishFaces, there’s still JohnVito & Jill to consider. Flo finally agrees if JV&J don’t show up, she & Zzz won’t go for the FF. (I really should have invested in a “Go For It” meter for this ep.)
JV&J enroute to train station, John Vito is saying that if Jill wants to do the FF, they’ll go for it. According to him, Jill has been making the decisions for the team. Oh? That’s not what Jill told us last week. Jill said all Spooky Team decisions are group decisions. Ya have to really work hard to find a chink in the JV&J team dynamic, but there’s our first piece of contrary information. Could it foreshadow things to come? I doubt it, but this is the stuff previews are made from.
Flo asks JV&J what happened, using many more words than necessary. Why bother to say you don’t understand what happened before you’ve given the person a chance to explain. (She’s a face-time hog, is my thinking, but AOM click for Flo.) JV says their radiator exploded. Camera is on Flo, and I swear I could see her remembering the diesel experience, and her own idiotic idea that the car could explode. Doesn’t seem so idiotic now, does it? Well, that went through my mind, didn’t it go through yours too? Probably not - I seem to see things noone else sees.
Zack says to Flo, “So now what, we tell them straight up we’re not going for it?” Flo wants Zack to let her handle it, saying, “I’m A Much Better Liar Than You.” They named the episode after this??? TAR people need help naming episodes. This doesn’t even have much to do with the episode generally or specifically. AOM click for TAR ep title namers. And I guess “them” means JV&J, but given what happens next, I’m not sure. AOM click for FloZzz.
FloZzz’s arrival hasn’t gotten past the fisheye of Ian, who does a summary of all the teams that can now go for the FF. He’s tired and tells Teri he wants to go for it. Damn I REALLY wish I’d gotten that Go For It-O-Meter!
AA driving to the train station, are also planning to do the FF. Arianne’s voice still sounds like she’s got a frog in there, but I’m thinking it’s more on account of the lousy roads than because she’s on the verge of a breakdown. “Hopefully we can swing by and it’s still there.” Yeah. Haha. Ho Ho. HooWee that is FUNNY. Cute editing shows us that it’s just after 11am, and the train is pulling in to collect its second batch of teams, plus all the other people going to Marrakech. Footage of this second batch of three teams boarding the train serves the purpose of giving the FishFaces’ family members a chance to watch their loved ones perform the difficult task of “Boarding A Train.”
AA’s hustle into the train station notwithstanding, they will be all alone on the third train going to Marrakech today.
Back with the Super Circus Train, we listen to a Twidiot voice over about their alliance with the other two teams. So far, allowing the AceLeeches into the Circus hasn’t really jeopardized the Twidiots’ position. Sounds ominous, but... anything can happen, although it usually doesn’t.
Woo! In Marrakech. Yeah! Cabtime. Twidiots are whining about being stopped in a cab. Then they tell us more about how their alliance with the BroMos works - they share info for long sections, but teams are on their own for Detours and Roadblocks.
Which conveniently and finally brings us to the Detour, a choice between 2 tasks, artfully entitled Now You See It versus Now You Don’t. In Now You See It, select a pair of horses and ride to a route marker you can see, where you dig for clues painted on pottery. In Now You Don’t teams ride together on a sand bike to look for a route marker they can’t see from where they are, then they’ll rub a stone for the clue. Phil says this option requires a “leap of faith” because the distance isn’t known. What Phil doesn’t tell us explicitly, but we’re shown via the clay pottery and rubbed stone footage, is that the clues are mostly in Arabic. No matter which option is chosen, teams will still need to find someone to translate.
BroMos start out doing Now You See It. Gerard has trouble getting onto his horse, but once up there his bowlegs have no problem feeling right at home. Kenny says he’s too fat for his horse. Hee!
The Leeches and the Twidiots almost without hesitation elect to go for the sand bike option. They set off, and we return to KennyG, who are beginning their hope-filled search for A Clay Pot and Lid. They’ve only one small marked off square of dirt to search, so maybe it’s a good choice. Back to the bikers. Twidiots are doing MORE complaining, this time about the dust and the aggravatingness of it all. AOM click. Yep the AOM Meter is working real well. Guaranteed to last a lifetime. Leeches and Twidiots are lost, as demonstrated by a red&yellow route marker pointing them back the way they’ve just come. HA! They decide to work together to find the clue.
Back to KennyG. Gerard is anxious for a new doggy-style nic, as he paws at the ground pushing dirt behind him. Even Kenny says “Go Fido Go!” hah. Chances are they were on the verge of finding it, but they give up and decide to go back and try the sand bike option. There is a last wistful camera glance back at the patch of dirt that failed to be a worthwhile task.
Twidiots and Leeches find their clue and Phil does his blurbie about the clue being “mostly” in Arabic. What is in English is “Glacier” and “Hours of Operation: From 445 in the afternoon.” Teams have to find their way back into “downtown” Marrakech, get their clue translated and get over to the Glacier Cafe, where they’ll wait on the street for 445 to roll around.
KennyG are shown getting off their horses and instantly are on a bike.
Andre & Damon get back to the start first, but not knowing the Arabic, and not being able to figure out how to go about getting a translation, these idiots say that they’re just going to follow “these” guys (meaning Derek & Drew.) Derek & Drew figure that KG had “killed” them and were already on their way, so somehow that made it smart to just “kind of bring Damon and Andre along at this point.” AceLeeches doing what they do best! And woo, KennyG have gotten the clue.
At the gate leaving the place, Twidiots and Leeches learn from the attendant that what they seek is the Glacier Cafe. Cabs magically appear and they head downtown.
Back to the 2nd train. Flo is asleep, but still looks whiny, which if anything is more amusing than annoying. Zach is smirking about something. The FishFaces are definitely going for the FF. Ian prattles about running a clean race and finishing in the top three. Geez I hope not. I’ve had enough of them to last a lifetime. I never was fond of seafood at the best of times. AOM click.
This 2nd train arrives in Marrakech. Teams de-train, and shock of shocks, nobody yells for a taxi. I’m stunned. Ian coaches Teri “quick pace quick pace” AOM click, as they jog over to where they find a cab. Once installed, Ian flaps his arms and says “we fly” begging the question Fish or Fowl? It’s too funny to be annoying.
The younguns are confabbing over who is going to go for the FF. Jill wants to, JV wants to let FZ do it. It’s settled the way all juvenile disputes are settled, with a quick “shoot-out” round of Rock Scissors Paper. Flo does paper, and Jill does scissors, so JV&J get to choose. They Go For It. Flo gives Jill a cheek-kiss good-bye, and they go their separate ways. In their cabs, Flo yells “Love you guys” while JV&J fret over whether Teri&Ian are going for the FF.
I don’t know how long that train journey was, but I do wonder why they didn’t have this discussion ON the train, instead of AT the destination.
The two teams competing for the FF are enroute to Jamaa El-Fna Market, but thankfully we see JohnVito telling us about the task, instead of FishFace. But the Fish had good lead-time and are at the market already. Ian can see the shop’s flag from two miles away and tells Teri to “trust” him and just jog. Once in the shop, there’s a flag over their heads, indicating which roomful of carpets is that meant to be searched. Ian cannot see it, and questions how Teri knows which way to go. I find it funny that he can’t see things practically in front of him, but can see them if they’re miles away. Maybe it’s a husband thing. Mr. AMAI is like that too sometimes.
IT have gotten through quite a few of the carpets when JV&J show up and set to work searching as well.
Back at the Detour, KennyG are just leaving as FloZzz show up. I guess the editors are trying their best to give us an inkling of the timelines. Gerard runs over to snag FloZzz’s cab back to town, and helpfully tells FZ that the task is “a b*tch.” AOM click. So naturally Flo asks for help, poor thing, she can’t help but whine “What should we dooooo?” Kenny just a tad nastily says “What you think I’m gonna tell YOU?” Flo: “Oh come oNNNNN Kenny I’m like 4 hours behiiiind, you raaat.” I guess they’re still friends, cuz she says, “Bye Ken” in a voice surprisingly lacking in whineishness, he says, “See ya later honey” and smiles.
IT find the Fast Forward, and JV&J are kind of screwed. How I would have laughed if JV&J had found the carpet, but Teri was working the right stack. They may bypass all remaining tasks and go straight to the pit stop located on the rooftop of the Riad Catalina, a traditional Moroccan guest-house in Marrakech. After receiving their pit stop info, IT partake of the free tea the carpet store had on offer. Ian commits yet another faux pas, saying ‘L’Chaim’ to the obviously Muslim man. Frankly I don’t know how Ian has remained alive this many years.
While we shall have to wait til next week to find out how many hundreds of years old it is, what would a FishFace sequence be without an AOM click for Ian - this time for his summons of his wife to get in the taxi. “Teri, come.” I’m almost tempted to go back to calling them the Terriers. I’ll settle for another AOM click.
JV&J are back to working on the regular clues. In their cab heading for the Palmerie, we get a glimpse of JV’s tattoos on the underside of his upper left arm - ouch!
We join Zack & Flo already in progress. Somehow they manage to run into a teeny tiny sand dune and stall their bike. She whines-over that the taxing nature of the race causes her to be “not very nice to (Zach), sometimes (Hee!) He’s so laid back and (she’s) like a bat out of hell.” She describes it all as a “really long dirty stressful date.” Maybe they can re-hash the experience on a special episode of “Blind Deaf & Dumb Date.” JV&J are getting on a sand bike to go get their Arabic clue.
Over at the Pit Stop, Ian is barking at Teri to hurry up. So why is she the first one up on the rooftop? AOM click for Ian the Idiot. They are welcomed to Marrakech by some guy dressed up in what must be traditional getting sh*tfaced clothing. He slurs a welcome and Fishfaces cheer for being officially first. For winning this leg, they will thankfully each receive a Kodak EasyShare Digital Camera. I for one would not care to have to share with Ian. Phil may or may not have a gun to his head, cuz it seems as if he is feigning interest when he asks what is making their strategy work. Teri says they fight alot, and say nasty stuff, but when push comes to shove, they “shove together.” Lovely. They’re first. AOM click for that.
FloZzz get their clue, JV&J get theirs, and off they ride. They don’t seem to pass each other, or realize that they’re both there. So are they there at the same time or aren't they? FZ are back at the entrance to the Palmerie and getting their translation. Flo is really quite good with the French, even tho her accent sucks.
The 445 opening time will cause “grouping” says Damon in a cab. All three teams in the Circus Alliance are still enroute to the Glacier Cafe. I guess the editors are just tossing stuff in when and as they can. By my reckoning, these teams should have been at the Cafe ages ago.
AA just now arriving to do all tasks. They have to get to the Mosque. They also plan to snag the FF and win this leg.
Oh, FZ and JV&J are at the Palmerie together. So it wasn’t misdirectional to show them practically together getting the rubbing, but I’m still stumped as to how JV&J caught up. FloZzz must have had even more trouble with the bike than we were shown.
It’s 235 and Team Leech are first at Glacier cafe, followed closely by the Twidiots and the BroMos.
AA catch a break in that they discover the FF is already gone and they don’t waste time working on it. It just means they won’t make themselves any later for elimination. So it’s really Phil who catches the break here. AA are speaking about their hopes that something will cause a bunching of the teams, and indeed we see that that is already in progress, as FZ & JVJ arrive at the Cafe to join the Circus Alliance waiting for the Rooftop Terrace to open. I was thinking that possibly this wouldn’t even be an elimination round.
While AA arrive at the Palmerie and elect to take the sand bikes, 445 has come, and the other 5 teams are clambering up to the Rooftop to get their next clue. It’s The Roadblock and one person from each team has to work together with a local food vendor helping him set up his stall and then personally selling 5 bowls of escargots, a favourite snack for Moroccans, at the market rate of 5 durum.
The five who do it are Jill, Flo, Andre, Derek and Gerard. The task involves helping bring in the cart, setting up the stools, shlepping over the giant pot of snails, putting on a white coat, and selling their asses off. A number of minutes are spent showing progress.
We cut for a moment to get in our last Preview Tidbit, which is Arianne screaming and Aaron giving her sh*t for screaming, as they run into a fence on their bike. Talk about a tidbit of preview that had absolutely no bearing on the outcome.
Back to the Screaming Racers trying to sell. Jill asks her guy how to say something in Arabic (what a little smarty she is!) Andre is saying “Gracias” ! Gerard is making sure the buyers pay “Get the money get the money!” haa. Flo tells her buyers she "loves" them and she shakes her groove thang to prove it! Hee! Derek has difficulty getting anyone to believe he's really selling snails - maybe they think he's a god? or an alien? Andre is first to finish and get the Pit Stop clue. Phil might be losing it, cuz he tells us all about the pit stop all over again like we’re as stupid as some of the teams, which maybe we are for watching this show so avidly. We again see the crowded streets of Marrakech. We also learn that the last team to check in will be eliminated. And Airheads only just having gotten their clue to go to the Glacier Cafe, and it isn’t even translated yet. Awwwwww. hee.
JV&J are next to finish. She tells JV she was talking in Arabic cuz her vendor taught her how. The other three quickly finish and it’s a race across the street to collect the partners and hike over by cab, about 10 minutes away, to the pit stop.I note that Derek & Drew figuring that a cab better than a 10 minute walk is certainly a new tune for them. Remember the early eps when they’d jog for the hell of it?
Meanwhile, Andre & Damon are being taken way out of the way - out of town to some desolate somewhere. I even feel sorry for them. Wonder how they managed to get screwed up? Oh they don’t have a clue where they’re going, and they never got a chance to consult with another team. So what else is new? They’re looking more and more like our next eliminatees.
Airheads are still pointlessly “woo”ing as they complete their tasks - oh geez AOM click. They still think they have a shot, as they cab it into town and head to the Glacier. woo my arse.
KG and FZ are in the pit stop area. Phil is waiting. They’re 2nd and 3rd. Team Leech are way the hell out there - something has gone terribly wrong for them. As they wait for their cab, they’re Officiallly Detained.
Back in town, JV&J and the Twidiots are also finding their cabbies to be less than perfect, but at least they’re close to where they need to be. They run in and are 4th and 5th. Back to Team Leech in a cab, telling us about their ordeal with the official and getting extricated from difficulty by their troupe of security. They are whisked into town and straight to the Pit Stop, where they check in 6th. Airheads are at the Glacier, and nobody is stopping them from doing it, so it’s possible that their arrival and Andre & Damon’s difficulty meant that it was still possible for AA to avoid elimination. Off goes Aaron to do the Roadblock but he only has to sell, cuz the stalls are all set up. Aaron voices over that they went through the whole day hopeful, and concludes that sometimes ignorance is bliss. AOM click. I hate that expression.
FishFace Terriers Team #1 (used FF in ep6)
FloZzz Team #2
KennyG Team #3 (used FF in ep1)
Twidiots Derek & Drew Team #4 (used FF in ep 2)
JohnVito & Jill Team # 5
Ace Leeches Andre & Damon Team #6.
Aaron & Arianne are on their walk to be eliminated, telling us how glad they are to have the other in their lives. And now many of us are grateful that these two will no longer be in our lives. We have more than enough to contend with with the damn FishFace Terriers and the idiot Leeches. Aaron tells Phil they had a great time, didn’t give up and met some great people. They give a last Team Handshake, and I’m thankful to have never seen it before and to never have to see it again. But they go out on a positive note, which is uplifting to their group of fans, I’m sure.
Next time, Flo sets her sights on Andre & Damon (which would seem to suggest that she wants to finish last?) but instead she’s trying to get the ticket seller to NOT let them on the same flight (that looks promising in terms of AOM potential) and the Twidiots have a communication breakdown (one of them yells at the other one), and KennyG have a blowout of their own - a tire blowout that is. And what a terrific mess that tire looks - it completely falls apart like it was made of puff pastry. Sooner or later we must run into some non-elim rounds, and I’m thinking next ep has to be it. Don't take my word for it, tho'.