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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread."
Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 06:51 PM (EST)
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"Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Because the Big Brother people really needed someplace to go.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 07:04 PM (EST)
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1. "CPS For Beginners." |
Hi! Welcome to the first-ever CPS update thread, all none of you! Now in case you're new to the game, we're going to be following a table of Texas Hold-'Em tonight, and if you don't know how to play, the helpful people at Bravo will shortly be presenting the same two short films they present every (censored) week. Oh, and you're supposed to be watching Bravo right now. Brah-vo. It's somewhere on your cable/dish system. Maybe.Tonight's table consists of Kathy Najimy, Caroline Rhea, Sharon Lawrence, Kathryn Morris, and Ricki Lake. We are all rooting against Caroline. Caroline combines in one person the world's worst loser and the world's worst winner. We want Caroline to go down in flames. Caroline has proven herself uncommonly lucky in blackjack, and we can only hope it doesn't translate over. We can root for Anyone Else. The really tall guy is Phil Gordon. Phil knows a lot about poker. He can quote you the odds of winning on any hand just by looking at the cards on the table, in real time. The fairly short guy is Dave Foley. Dave knows absolutely nothing about poker, but he does a really good job at voicing ants. They are your hosts. They are both more funnier and more capable than the ChenBot. They may secretly be lovers. Nobody's sure, but nobody would mind very much if they were, excepting all the people who have crushes on Phil. Dave will make fun of the people at the table. Phil will make fun of the poker play at the table. They work very well together, and there's usually a lot to make fun of. They've been together since Season Two. Phil was around in Season One, but Dave wasn't. We don't talk about Season One. Dave and Phil sit in the Losers Lounge. This is not to say Dave and Phil are losers. They're barely DAWs. No one wants to sit in the Losers Lounge with Phil and Dave, but anyone can get in just by dumping all their chips to another player, usually not on purpose. There are nice drinks in the Lounge. Nice drinks help you forget about having lost all your chips. All the people at the table are playing for charity. Isn't that nice? The charity of their choice will get five thousand dollars just because they showed up. The person who has all the chips at the end will go to the final table, where the winner will get $100,000 for their charity. The money has a corporate sponsor. Dave will mention that sponsor's name no more than eighty-five times tonight. Phil will not mention the name at all. It's not his job. This is the third game of five in the first round. The winners of the previous tables were Stephen Collins and Andrew Firestone. Which people at the table tonight would Andrew like to give a rose to? You will shortly be hearing the words 'Shuffle up and deal.' They mean very little, but Phil and Dave love it when they're said. Stay tuned...
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 07:20 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: CPS For Beginners." |
Estee summed it up really well, and a few additions.Phil is a professional poker player with a World Poker Tour (at this point, the largest non-online/non-World Series prize pools in the world to my knowledge) title and another final table. He is very good with the odds, and if he says something, he's right. No need to question him. When he says that the player shouldn't have called with second pair, he's right, even if Jonny Fairplay won. Phil and Dave work better together than (censored for non Tournament 1 watchers). I think Dave is playing dumb about not knowing about poker (he got 7th in the WPT Invitational two seasons ago), but it's a lot more fun to think he doesn't know. They also both have dolls that have two cameos, one in an episode with Chris Kattan (well, just be glad you didn't see that episode) and one with the final game of that tournament. Also, for my money, the Loser's Lounge is completely superior to actually playing. You can make fun of them on the tv, you get drinks from the waitress that is back there (although tonight, I expect a waiter in a skimpy outfit). Yeah, Shuffle Up and Deal, then pray that Caroline gets A-K and anyone else gets A-A, and Caroline goes all-in and loses. I saw her once on Celebrity Blackjack. That was enough.
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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09-01-05, 07:30 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: CPS For Beginners." |
Fisher! I haven't seen you for ages, but then again I've been stuck in the vortex otherwise known as 'BB6'. I will join you guys for the second hour, mkay?
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 07:13 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Huge week for Phil Gordon. He had a great 15 minutes on ESPN where he got out his charity plug (RoShamBo contest for a seat in the WSoP Main Event), he did everything right in his short play (even raised being first into the pot), now he gets a week where he can't just pick the woman.Anyway, we here at the CPS followers (right, all three of us here, or four, I dunno) welcome all you people appalled with BB for whatever reason. Tonight has no good potential. Either someone I don't know offhand (Sharon Lawrence, never watched DH, or Kathryn Morris, didn't watch Cold Case), Kathy Najimy, Ricki Lake, and Estee's favorite, Caroline Rhea. Considering this season, our only female choices were Trashelle and OmaSnape (Her reclamation process is putting some doubt on Harry's pure evil theory, rather she may have some good in her...or she was on shows with Janice Dickinson, Jonny Fairplay, and Johnathan Baker, whatever), it doesn't get bearable until Week 4 where Amber Tamblyn is playing. Then in Week 5 we get Penny Marshall, but this show doesn't exactly have a good track record for actresses in less-recent shows. My pick? Sharon Lawrence, since the last two winners both held the third slot on the Bravo Contestants Charts and I didn't know them. As for viewer predictions, Kathy Najimy is the favorite with 26% and Caroline Rhea has 24%
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 07:53 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
And now, a short film by Tim Burton.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 08:00 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Thank you, Dave Foley. The kiss of death is in place and scarring its way into Caroline's skin.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 09:06 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Well, Phil Gordon's pick just went out
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 08:00 PM (EST)
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14. "CPS Theory #42" |
When Phil Gordon, after the flop, turn, or river, says that "<Player> need to make a bet his/her opponent can call", they will invariably make a bet that's way too big (usually all-in), then Phil will say what he would bet.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 08:06 PM (EST)
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17. "Warning:" |
We're two hands in and Caroline is already annoying.
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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09-01-05, 08:12 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
BB's on commercial break and I'm just stopping by to say 'hi' and I'll see you all soon.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 08:18 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Well, boring so far. Next week looks better, with some mad Trebekian Smackdown.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 08:19 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Have hope. There's still room for someone to do something heroically stupid. They can't all be Brad vs. Sarah.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 08:25 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Does folding pocket Jacks with four undercards on the board to a 500 dollar bet (in a 2900 pot with a player all in qualify as just stupid, or heroically?
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 08:30 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Let's call it Sidekick Stupid. There were a lot of clubs --but I would have gone all-in there for the chance to get someone out, especially having as many chips as Sharon to work with.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 08:32 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Well, Kathy's actually playing decently, and Phil somehow turned 1 four in a deck of 36 into 50:1 odds. Nice.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 08:50 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Way for Caroline to call a 2,000 bet with bottom pair of threes. Kathy actually followed the flush draw and caught it, Ricki called the all-in, and RL is in deep now.
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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09-01-05, 08:50 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Hi! I'm here! I'll catch up during the commercials. Did Kathy Najimi just flash the audience?
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 08:59 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Especially when you are short stacked like Sharon was (or I think she was).
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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09-01-05, 09:02 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Kathy 4-5 off suit, folds. Kathryn 2-4, folds. Rikki folds. Caroline all in with 8-6. Shron Q-8 and calls. Flop is nothing. Caroline has a pair of 6s. River is a 9, Caroline pulls it out.New hand. Kathryn A-10, she's in. Rikki has pair of 4s, all in, and she stands. Caroline 10-9, folds. Sharon folds. Kathy 4-5, folds. Kathryn goes all in. Flop is J-7-5. Turn is a 6. Rikki has straight flush draw. River is an Ace, Kathryn gets a pair, Rikki left with $1,000
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 09:09 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
And to the pantheon of celebrity expressions, we now add the Ricki Lake 'Where the (censored) (censored) did that (censored) ace come from?!?' Classic bad-beat.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 09:18 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Damn you Caroline Rhea, just burn to the LL.
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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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09-01-05, 09:27 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown #6 Episode #3 East Coast Spoiler Thread." |
Sharon pulls a straight out of the turn!!! Beats Caroline's 2 pair.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-01-05, 09:29 PM (EST)
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43. "Well, didn't see that coming" |
Carolina has A-6, Kathy A-10, Other Person J-10It comes A-Q-Q Caroline goes All-in, J-10 calls with an inside straight draw, Kathy folds best hand. And then a King on the turn to kick out Caroline.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-01-05, 09:52 PM (EST)
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45. "And CPS history is made." |
For the first time ever, I called a table right.
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