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"Lesbian Idol Journals – Leiber & Stoller / Billboard Top 40s"
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sodiumswirl 79 desperate attention whore postings
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05-06-05, 04:53 PM (EST)
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"Lesbian Idol Journals – Leiber & Stoller / Billboard Top 40s"
In what was presumably a counter-move to ABC’s explosive Fallen Idol expose, the stylists, camera crew and production people really stepped up their game on this week’s episode of AI. I’ve never seen such loving lighting and camerawork given to so many contestants all at once; and almost every costume on every performance was a success in its own way. Which leaves this reviewer with a whole lot less to bicth about… but not completely nothing, dear readers. A whole lot less, but not completely nothing at all.


In the usual reverse order…


10. Anthony Federov – Poison Ivy

Oh the horror. This would be the one ensemble I would pick out as really failing to flatter the person wearing it in any way, shape or form. I can’t label it a Lesbian Fashion Disaster because in theory, the white-buttoned red shirt and black pinstriped pants were a bold and sexy fashion statement; but the reality is that it conspired to make poor, pale Anthony with his rectangular glasses and his lack of a fake rub-on tan look dorky, sickly and plain old washed-out. Taken together with his trying-to-be-wholesome-yet-sexy performance and ridiculously jolting boyband-member stage movements, Anthony came across like an off-color Snow White hermaphrodite experiencing a very public seizure. Pay attention, Anthony! What looks good on a clothes rack may not look good on you – that’s what fitting room mirrors were invented for.




9. Carrie Underwood – Bless the Broken Road

Simon said it all – it was beautifully sung but a little robotic. He was being kind: I would’ve said it was flawlessly vocalized but conveyed the emotional depth of a malicious toaster oven – the kind that never fails to burn your crumpets every morning. Carrie’s evil-glassy eyes and machine-done facial expressions were completely at odds with a song that’s supposed to be about the sheer joy and ecstasy of re-discovering a loved one (albeit on some broken road in some God-blessed Red State of America). It’s a lovely song, and should’ve been an absolute slam-dunk for her; but she mechanically phoned it in once again to my collective disgust and amusement. And while Carrie is by no means stocky, her choice of a spaghetti-strap blouse tugged strenuously at her, making her shoulder area and her upper arms look unflatteringly chubby – whilst the vertical-patterned skirt made her lower body look longer and her upper body look heavier than usual. Note to Carrie: you are very pretty but if you put on a tight-fitted spaghetti-strap top and sit down to mechanically croon a country song, people like me are going to notice that you are not Nadia and you are not Vonzell and you do not have their spectacularly toned upper arms and should therefore always wear something with sleeves.




8. Scott Savol – On Broadway
7. Scott Savol – Everytime you go away

Even Scott Savol got a decent treatment from the stylists and the production team this week (they appear to usually hate him). I found his cheeky serenading to Simon during his first number quite endearing (even though the denim jacket and blue T-shirt combination made his stomach a little too prominent for my tastes); and his pure tenor on both songs (particularly for On Broadway) was a pleasure to listen to.

Although he appears to have recycled the basic look from his first number right onto his second, there’s no denying Scott pulled off that leather jacket and silver bling-bling cross with plenty of (heaven help me I’m quoting Paula Abdul now) moxie and spunk. Collectively they were his best performances and costumes to date; and as much as I’ve dissed him in the past, I found myself admiring his graceful exit, and thinking that I just might miss his heretofore-unseen effusiveness and sense of humor.




6. Anthony Federov – Incomplete

Oh this is so much better. I’m not loving the boyband song choice, but at least he eschewed a Backstreet Boys imitation in favor of delivering it with his signature Federov power-belting twist; and the textured black shirt plus stone-washed denim jeans looked appropriately sexy (on him as well as on some presumable clothes hanger). He even managed to pull off the requisite choreography for this number, as can be seen from the photos below. Can’t wait to see the newly minted twenty-year-old mess up something and then inexplicably redeem himself again with whatever next week’s theme turns out to be.




5. Vonzell Solomon – Treat me nice
4. Vonzell Solomon – When you tell me that you love me

Vonzell was her usual spectacular self, and it pains me to rank her at the bottom of the top half of my rankings - but that just goes to show how strong this week's appearances were. For her Leiber & Stoller number, The Vonz matched a pair of tight faded jeans with a sexy, fitted spaghetti-strap blouse which was shirred around the cleavage region and accentuated with a lovely peacock flower applique on the top left which matched the multi-colored strip of material that functioned as a belt and it's just killing me not to compare her magnificently toned upper arms with Carrie's because that would be mean but I just did it because I don't want to kill myself.

For her second number, Vonzell donned a chocolate brown slip-on charmeuse dress and accesorized it with an emerald beaded pendant and matching beaded earrings. A feathered hairdo and two-inch stilettos completed both ensembles to Baby V perfection; and she appears to have taken Larry's advice from an earlier column and used a combination of standing still and gliding languidly to conquer the deceptively simple yet dangerous task of maneuvering the Idol stage on severely spiked heels.




3. Carrie Underwood – Trouble

Someone supplied Carrie 6.5 with a nuclear fuel rod for her Elvis Presley number, and the malicious toaster oven inside her exploded with delicious, malevolent energy. I loved her slow-burn rasp on the opening verse (especially whenever she growled the words "I'm evil"); her kicking of the mike stand on the sudden tempo change; and just the whole unexpectedly-potent vehemence of the entire delivery. And then there's that black, white and denim outfit which was saucy and modest at the same time, the long, lacey black blouse looking sorta like underwear on the outside... just like Superman, but naughtier. The Carrie-meister may not have completely transcended into human-mode here, but her wicked fembot ways absolutely slayed me on this one. (Oh, and she wore sleeves too.)




2. Bo Bice – Stand By Me
1. Bo Bice – How Far Is Heaven

Words cannot describe how hot Bo Bice looked this week; so I'll let the pictures do the talking. Take your time to gaze, drool and admire... because I highly doubt anyone will ever be able to look this sinfully sexy and delectable on a prime-time family show like Idol, ever, ever again.





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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 ok Breezy 05-07-05 1
 RE: Lesbian Idol Journals – Leiber ... strid333 05-07-05 2
 *drool* Glow 05-09-05 3

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Breezy 18380 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

05-07-05, 08:44 AM (EST)
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1. "ok"
Take your time to gaze, drool and admire...

*drool* *swoon*

*thud*


Save a horse, ride a cowboy. Sigpic by Syren.

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strid333 2928 desperate attention whore postings
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05-07-05, 01:20 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Lesbian Idol Journals – Leiber & Stoller / Billboard Top 40s"
Great as always!


Three is the perfect number.

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Glow 14353 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

05-09-05, 09:30 AM (EST)
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3. "*drool*"
I'm going to have this blown up to lifesize.


Ever have one of those urges to just lick him? I get those all the time.

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