I've decided we can't get enough product placement with just bean sprouts, so we're chucking that menu. Bring all the lard-filled-fats back. (The food, not the HGs.)

Hey, we can always take all that Spandex and make a trampoline out of it!

Stan, way to make everyone weepy at Kim's graduation. You so need a show of your own.

Andy, was it you who came up with the pointy-haired boss look from Dilbert?

Iyanla, way to work more folks into your bosoms. You don't do that at the county fair by any chance, do you?

When can we have Kelly vs. Kim on pay-per-view? And Kelly, just how old are you, anyway?

Christie, I just spoke to Tyra, and she says don't call her, she'll call you. However, Vern's Pre-Owned Cars may need someone for a spot.

Jodi, that mask? I had Lisa2 the staff fish it out of the pool. Please put it back on. Thanks.

Antonia, you want to become my chief accountant? Psych! Suze Orman will be over to get some more DAW time talk to you shortly. Please vacuum up the glitter after she leaves.

Niambi, have "Mr. Situation" and "Mr. Internet" ever been in the same room together?

And Rhonda, I admire your ability to hit a cross-court backhand while looking in the mirror. Do you drive in reverse all the way home? (That could be code if you like.)

I'm so glad we won another Emmy. I need another doorstop.

ADMINISTRIVIA:

You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish.

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.

If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the new signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also (although, if you're replacing someone, it may be in the old signup thread).

Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play.

Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom), Antonia, Jodi, Kim, Kelly, Lisa2, Niambi, Christina, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung, the Garden Buddha, the Rose Bush, the Front Door, Bead Store Owner, and "Mr. Situation." New characters, or resurrected old ones, welcome!

In abeyance: "Mr. Internet."

Available: Christie. First one in the signup thread gets her.

Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks.

You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks!

And HAVE FUN!

Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.

E-mail or PM me with any problems.

Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.