Let’s get started by saying we have a very unique show in the new FOX entry into “reality television”. With what has become a groundbreaking event, FOX just released a scripted non-scripted reality show. There’s no way the television cameras showed up the exact night mom and step-dad return a day early to find a party that prompts the parents to force the kids to get a job.I am getting a little ahead of myself so let’s start over. Let’s introduce our participants...I mean err actors/actresses:
Mom: Linda Thompson was the first wife of Bruce Jenner and the mother of their two boys.
Brandon Jenner: The 23-year-old son that does nothing but spend money and look cute.
Brody Jenner: The younger 21-year-old brother to Brandon and just as worthless but a little cuter.
David Foster: Current husband to Linda and step-dad to Brandon and Brody. David is very successful in the recording industry and provides a lavish life for his family.
Brody has a best friend (Spencer) that is a permanent houseguest in the Foster mansion. We start the show with Spencer trying to wake Brody by using the phone’s intercom system. Now, understand it would be much quicker/easier to walk upstairs and pound on the door to make sure he wakes. But no, Spencer keeps paging him with the phone. Have I mentioned it is the unbelievable hour of 11am?
The boys are in the process of preparing Brody’s 21st. birthday party while their parent’s vacation in Mexico. The huge stage is set and decorations are being put up. How lucky for FOX to show up the very morning of the party! I wonder if CBS didn’t come up with the idea first but decided it was too lame an idea…even for them.
Brody is shown writing checks for the work done so far. The first check is for $2,500 and the second for $3,500. I wonder if the family charged FOX for this as well. I hope to hell the boys paid FOX to air this awful excuse for a show.
Linda makes excuses for her adult children not having jobs, because she says that they stay busy. Hell, I can stay busy playing on RTVW all day but I am expected to pay my way through life. I think the children could do the same.
David and Linda decide to come home a day early. As they approach the mansion they know something is askew as every light in the house is glowing and bright spotlights adorn the backyard. The place has a glow almost as bright as the sun. David starts walking through the crowd telling everyone the party is over and to get off his property. Walter the groundskeeper is at the party hamming it up for the camera.
The party is a Mardi gras theme with costumes and beads. David tries to get everyone out of his house and off his property. Linda is mingling, hugging and wishing she had been invited to the party and not in Mexico.
I guess we know where the root of the problem started. She is as big a child as her two children and is all about partying. At one point she even says she wants to throw a party like this someday. The part she doesn’t understand is the snooty rich peeps wouldn’t loosen up to have this much fun.
Dave is on stage screaming that the party is over as Linda says, “Oh come on Dave!” Linda isn’t concerned that there are over 200 people on her property in which some could be underage and drinking. The only thing she is worried about is that these kids have fun.
We find out that Dave has pet peeves and in his rant we hear them; someone parks in his space, every light in the house is on, crap strewn all over the place, unknown houseguest clothes and water left running. I have to say that some of these are a bit annoying but this is so contrived. It’s almost as if they are reading from a script. Oh wait; this is that new kind for reality shows…a scripted non-scripted reality television show.
The script for the next day calls for Linda and David to have a discussion about what to do next. Linda asks what types of things David suggest and they are for the boys to cook their own meals and make-up their beds. Linda thinks this is absolutely absurd because everyone has to eat! At this point in the conversation I am wondering whom she thinks cooks food. I know, the hired help. They decide to have a family meeting when the boys get out of bed.
Spencer, Brandon and Brody get out of bed at 3pm and make it to the kitchen where Spencer presents David with a morning cup of orange juice. David immediately makes it known that this is a family meeting and Spencer isn’t welcome. Glad to see the writers (Brandon and Brody) want to add a little drama to this train wreck.
Dad lays the law down and tells them they have to get a job and start making it on their own. He also clearly tells them there will be no more credit cards (major foreshadowing with this one) as the next scene shows the boys making dinner plans with their friends.
The boys take their friends to Nobu, which is one of the more expensive sushi restaurants in the country. There are 9 peeps and the tab is almost $800. Does anyone wanna guess where the script is goes from here? Brandon is told that their dad has put an end to the tab so he turns over his credit card. For the shock of all that’s not living under a rock…it is denied. Being the smart one, Brody decides he will fork out his credit card and it is denied as well. Is this a predictable movie or what?
We are told that the 9 kids at the table represents families that have net worth of a half a billion dollars yet they can come up with only $15.71. The restaurant and this incident isn’t mentioned any more so I guess dad of FOX footed the bill and pulled the kids from washing the dishes.
The next day there is another family meeting to determine the amount of rent the boys will be paying to stay in the house. This meeting is worthy of Spencer attending and after much negotiation $3,000 a month per person is agreed upon. This whole scene is as outlandish as they come because the boys were trying to validate why they should pay only $1,000 per month.
The line of business the boys decide on is cars. Washing cars. The script called for young big-breasted bimbos in bikinis and thongs to stand on street corners with signs pointing them to the mansion. The script didn’t disappoint because that is exactly what they got!
Mom hears a commotion outside and she goes to look to see what it is. It’s a car wash and the bimbos are on the same mental level as mom because she joins them! The guys are making mom look very shallow and spineless…maybe she is.
FOX planted so many cars going into the mansion that it caused traffic jam. Dad is on his way to the mansion for a meeting with Shaka Kahn. Shaka Kahn is 10 cars ahead of David when her car arrives where the brothers are standing. She tells Spencer she has a meeting with David. Spencer asks who she is and he (Spencer) responds with a, “Shaka who?” The priceless look on Shaka Kahn’s face was the only thing worth watching on this show.
David gets to the front of the lawn and starts berating the boys. The boys tell him they are working and that they are doing what he asked them to do. Dad demands the cars to be moved immediately. Of course, mom is defending their actions. AS dad makes his way back to the car one of the bleached blonde bimbos squirts David with water from the hose. I was expecting him to run over her but he didn’t. Now that would have been a great part of the show!
This show played out like so many of the shows on MTV where there seems to not be a reason for being on the air. It is obvious the boys pitched their show to FOX and they bought it. Maybe in real life David did tell the boys to get a job and maybe this is how they planned on solving the problem. However, if that is the case then the show would have been better by seeing them pitch the show to FOX rather the shite I just endured!
Handcrafted by RollDdice
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