After Ashley takes three hours to describe her perfect man (he must enjoy sleep and be five years older than she is. By the time this wraps up, it's eight), Joe comes out and does the world's worst Mexican parody accent to announce the Veto competition -- which is going through giant bowls of dip to search for menu item titles while dressed up as chips, as the other hamsters sip their alcohol and watch with bemusement as the players try to place them correctly. Winner will be the most right with the fastest time. Except for Ashley, who can do nothing fast. No. Thing. She turns in a credible performance for accuracy, with thirteen out of sixteen -- but everyone else up through Ian (ascending order of speed) is entirely correct. Which comes down to Shane and his self-proclaimed lousy short-term memory, which had him checking the master board every five seconds.

Naturally, he wins. And thus JoJo and Danielle are double screwed, re-screwed, and freshly screwed. (Yes, it's the word of the episode. Take a shot.)

Britney tackles Shane and throws them both into the dip. I have no idea how she pulled it off.

Frank starts to panic about Shane coming after him. Which Shane does -- going up to HoH and throwing Britney into the dip so he can hold her under until she drowns. He wants a F2 alliance with Frank because he just proved what a competitor he is and why he should be removed immediately, so let's ally up! Shane will leave his mentor. Shane will play as an individual. Shane is dumb. Damn dumb.

Naturally, Malin & Frank will tell Shane any lie he wants to hear. Except the one about not using the Veto on himself. Because that would just be stupid.

Dan tries to light a fire under Danielle to go out and save herself by telling her he won't do the work on her behalf. This is followed by Danielle asking Shane if he'll vote to save her and getting a definite 'Eh.' This lights a waterfall under her, sending her to the arcade in her Hoodie Of Misery so she can cry it out. Her crush doesn't love her. And no one really believes she's a teacher. Plus Ashley is still talking and that's depressing.

Shane is trying to play all sides without knowing what any of them are, so decides he can't sacrifice Danielle just yet and proposes to JoJo that he'll approach Frank and try to get a backdoor replacement nomination on Wil. Because Wil is the threat who isn't flirting with him. JoJo likes this plan because she thinks it improves her odds. Shane likes the plan because he came up with it. Malin is working on another DR fake phone call about how stupid everyone is, but we won't get that until next episode.

Can this plan possibly work? Why are you even asking?