Now it’s time to play The Bachelor: Rome- the Drinking Game!* Heaven knows it’s all these people seem to do on every date. Here are the rules…follow along with the summary as you read, or save it for the next episode.
1) Every time they say the word princess, take a sip.
2) Every time Lisa makes that smug face (you know the one), take a sip.
3) Every time Chris has to count roses for us, take a drink.
4) Every time Lorenzo says I like you, but…take a drink.
5) Every time Deb rolls her eyes at something said, take a drink.
6) When one girl says something catty about another, take a drink.
7) Every time they say the word fairy tale, take a sip.
8) Every time we see an Italian sunset, take a drink.
9) Finally, when Erica has a complete and total melt down, says something that makes no sense, and generally makes a complete fool of herself, well you might as well finish the bottle.
*Deb does not encourage people drinking on dates to the point they pass out on the bed.
Previously on The Bachelor, Lisa tells everyone she’s their biggest competition. Erica freaks out.
Chris comes in to where the women are having breakfast and tells them there will be one group date, one two on one date, and one individual date. He brings in a woman to teach them an aria which they will perform. The less I say about this the better, however I will point out that none of the women come remotely close to singing on key. There is some generous gesturing, and some really, really bad singing. I have a friend who is a classically trained singer, and he would have been curled up on the ground in pain. They do keep it short, thank goodness. Jami “wins” based on her “stage presence” (okaaay) and gets her individual date with Lorenzo. Lorenzo tells us he is excited because they both love music. She wears a long red satin dress with white gloves, and Lorenzo shares she looks incredible. He gives her a ruby and diamond necklace and earrings to wear on the date. Jami mentions it’s like a fairy tale. Erica says that Jami is wearing gloves to cover up her tattoo, and there is no way she’s getting a rose. If she didn’t sound like such an idiot, Erica could do catty very well.
Close up on the Italian sunset, as Lorenzo reveals the fact that Jami was wearing 2 million dollars in diamonds was amazing. Jami tells him that this is her first opera “so please be gentle.” This gets the first eye roll from Deb. They go in the opera house, which seems to be empty…except for a couch. I know you pay good money at the Kennedy Center for the couch seats. Lorenzo asks Jami to sing opera to her, and produces the aria she sang. Jami looks ready to have a giant hole swallow her up. She gamely sings for him, pointing out she was picked for her “stage presence” and not her singing. She does roll her r’s which is very cute, so maybe that’s why she won. Lorenzo tells her it’s the best opera ever. We cut briefly back to the girls left in the house, where they get their date box and find out they are going to Tuscany. Screaming ensues.
Jami asks Lorenzo to tell her something good, and he says his family is very important to him. He says he misses them since he’s in Italy and they are in New York. Jami reveals that although her parents are divorced, they still do Thanksgiving and Christmas as a family, and things are much better now than they ever were. The curtains part and a tenor sings as Jami and Lorenzo dance. The singer is Vittorio Grigolo…we know this for sure because they advertise his CD at the break. Lorenzo reveals that while the moment was romantic, he’s not sure the physical chemistry was there. And this is the death blow. There didn’t seem to be a lot of passion in their dance. Lorenzo tells Jami that was the best live performance he had ever seen, but he has to be honest with her. He tells her he felt like he was dancing with his best friend. He tells her he will never forget her, but he can’t give her the rose. Jami reveals in her exit interview that she felt “so special tonight.” She says she is devastated and hurt. Then she says she’s way too strong to be crying over some guy. Sweetie, you got dumped on national TV. I’d cry too. She says it wasn’t about the money, it was about finding true love, and it will happen for her, but this wasn’t the time. Maybe she’ll go for the opera singer. He was good looking.
Sadie, Desiree, Jeannette, Jennifer, Lisa, and Gina get a wine tasting in Tuscany. Jeanette pulls him aside first and they have a conversation about how she’s not hard to read, but she’s not going to throw herself out there. She tells him she thinks he’s special. Translation: she’s not going to throw herself at him…yet. Lisa makes the face as she says the date is not romantic at all, rubbing it in she’s had all this alone time with Lorenzo. Desiree is annoyed with her and cattily tells us a “girl like that” is not worth the time of day.
They cut back to the house where Erica mopes about being stuck with Agnese. They get their date box which says they will get a night on the town but there is only one rose. So he gets to cut someone in the middle of the date, which is always good drama. Agnese says the rose is hers and Erica responds, “I don’t think so, #####.” Mrrrrow.
Back in Tuscany, Sadie tells us she noticed the rose first. She pulls Lorenzo aside and tells him she’s a virgin. Lorenzo makes some lame remark that it does show her values, and that he’s never dated a virgin. This gets an eye roll from me. He gives her a hug, and Sadie seems pleased with their chat. Next to get alone time is Lisa. Jeanette makes the catty comment that Lisa has a “weird vibe” and she can’t be trusted. Lorenzo asks Lisa if he can kiss her and she says yes making that dang smug face again. She cackles evilly that her great plan to be married soon is all going according to plan. Okay, she doesn’t cackle, but she is very content with herself.
Erica tells Agnese they have to get their beauty sleep. She says Agnese understands her the most because she speaks English slowly with an Italian accent. I think “me go bed now” is more of a Yoda accent than an Italian accent. Whew, my eyes are getting a workout tonight, as they roll on up to the ceiling.
The girls in Tuscany jump in the pool with Lorenzo and there is much frolicking. Then they play a Truth or Dare game on the bed. Desiree feeds Lorenzo a grape with her mouth. Jen drinks wine of Lorenzo’s tummy. He’s asked which girls he has kissed. He tells them he’s kissed all of them, and if you wanted to know about who has been up close with his tongue you should have clarified. Lisa smugly states she’s glad Lorenzo didn’t tell them about her kiss with him. It would just add “fuel to the fire.” Lorenzo talks to Jen about her teaching, and she tells him it’s so rewarding and she gets teary eyed thinking about her kids. They kiss, but it’s pretty passionless.
Lorenzo is asked what the deal is with the rose (nice cue producers) and he tells them he would like to give it to them all but he gives it to Jeanette. She says the moment was perfect and she’s glowing. He tells her they had honest conversation. Lisa, Jen, and Sadie are all miffed since they had honest conversations with him too. Sadie frets she ruined her chances by telling him she’s a virgin.
Erica tells us cattily that Agnese is the least attractive girl in the house and she’s getting the rose no matter what. Lorenzo decides to have the girls over with pizza, beer and wine in his house. They pick outfits out of his closet. Erica wears one of his dress shirts, ala Working Girl or The American President, and Agnese wears a shirt and boxers. She keeps her sexy high heels on, and is a nice contrast to Erica. With her stringy hair and bare feet, she looks pretty poor in contrast. Erica tells Lorenzo that she’s been to Europe and been wined and dined before, so it’s all about her connection with him….which is non-existent, so she’s in big trouble. She tells us that Lorenzo needs her. And then we get her cattiest remarks of the night, as she says Agnese is a gold digger, Sadie is a virgin, and Lisa is just one notch above her. I’m not even sure what that means. Erica says she’s seven notches above them.
Agnese has alone time with Lorenzo and it’s obvious he likes her a lot, but he worries about the language barrier. He asks her if the girls in the house are helping her. Like Erica helps her? Agnese tells him she’s been studying. Erica spies on them and actually gets their attention by waving. He tells her they will be right up.
Lorenzo tells Erica she’s extremely bright (huh?) and amazing but she would change herself to be whatever she wanted him to be. This actually sort of makes sense to me. Agnese accepts the rose. Erica and Lorenzo walk down the stairs, and you’d better start drinking, cause she goes completely bat ****. She says she ruined her chances when she told him he wasn’t compatible with Jami. She tells him people judge her and it’s not fair. The girls left in the house go running for the luggage guy and it’s revealed that their drama queen is going home. They watch fireworks over Lorenzo’s house as Agnese and Lorenzo kiss. Finally some sparks, and not just the fireworks! In Erica’s meltdown limo, she makes me fall off the couch with laughter when she says she’s so sick of the disgusting gross fairy tale of the poor girl marrying the handsome prince.
Lorenzo tells us tonight’s rose ceremony will be hard. Chris tells us he’s already sent two people home. He gives roses to: Sadie, Lisa (who doesn’t make the face and seems genuinely excited), Jen and…
Chris tells the ladies it’s the final rose….
Gina doesn’t understand what Lorenzo sees in some of them. She thought he would give her a chance. Well, if the editing is any indication, he pretty much ignored her through the entire group date. The rest of the ladies toast champagne and Lorenzo tells them he’s so glad they are all there.
Next week: Erica (wearing a poncho, gag me) comes back in all of her evil glory. Apparently she’s revealing all of the catty things the girls say about each other. I suppose since she’s the queen of the horribly mean remark, who better to judge? Well, she did accurately tell him he wasn’t compatible with Jami, so who knows. I suppose it will make for interesting TV.