Prisons, Crayfish, and Phil, Oh My!

Previously on The Amazing Race:

Check out kathliam’s summary:

http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID54/1320.shtml

The teams are departing from a castle in Oman. Fran and Barry are the first team to depart (What bizarro world are we in?) at 5:35 PM. The teams are now flying to Perth, Australia. Fran and Barry leave BJ and Tyler some money because they have none.

Barry c-t: I think the teams see us as real competitors now. Sure, they’re younger and stronger than us, and we’ll probably get Philiminated soon, but we’ll use your travel experience and wits to our advantage.

Fact: You’re screwed.

Joseph and Monica depart second at 5:54 PM. They decide not to give the hippies any money because they’re mean.

Monica: I’ll be glad when the hippies are gone. They told us they’re going to yield us if we don’t give them money.

Joseph: So, we left them nothing.

Monica: Not smart to tell people you’re going to yield the MoJo.

Fact: Everyone is hoping the hippies do yield you, so we don’t have to hear your shrill voice.

The oldies are trying to get to the airport, but the traffic has come to a standstill. They stop at a gas station and ask the attendant if there’s another way to get to airport. The attendant says that’s the only way and that the traffic is stopped because the King is here. Thankfully, it’s not the creepy Burger King guy.

Ray and Yolanda are the third team to depart at 6:26 PM.

Yolanda: Ray and I argued a lot the last leg, and I don’t know why. Does he not want to look at my fantastic a$$ anymore?

Fact: Yolanda’s a$$ rivals J.Lo’s.

Eric and Jeremy depart fourth at 6:47 PM. The frat boys give BJ and Tyler a $100 IOU. They don’t give them actual money because the hippies aren’t two girls with huge oobies. The frat boys wonder why the other teams are giving the hippies money.

Frat boys: We want to win. Whatever it takes. It’s like trying to get into a girl’s pants.

Fact: We can’t go 10 minutes without Eric and Jeremy mentioning how much they want sex.

BJ and Tyler depart last at 8:21 PM. They are overjoyed that teams had left them money. MoJo are going down, however.

Tyler: I remember when I was young I always wanted to travel the world with the clothes on my back. I get to do that and smoke weed along the way.

Fact: I may need some of BJ and Tyler’s stash after this.

Teams arrive at the airport. MoJo finds out about a flight to Perth that connects through Dubai. They book it, as do the other lead teams.

The hippies are way behind. They decide to pick up a hitchhiker to direct them to the airport. They have to stop and get gas for $3 a gallon. Their hitchhiker gets them some food, which they’ll need later when they get the munchies.

The other teams are now boarding. They are confident the hippies won’t make it. The hippies finally make it and try to make it on the plane. They do and quickly run to catch it. They make it and the other teams are shocked and disgusted the hippies are there.

Fact: I wonder how anyone can hate BJ and Tyler. I thought everyone loved hippies.

The teams are now flying to Perth. Once there, they will take a taxi to Kings Park and find the State War Memorial where they will find their next clue. The frat boys pass MoJo on the way. MoJo comments that something stinks.

Fact: That’s MoJo’s personality.

The hippies are counting the money they made on the flight. Meanwhile, the oldies have run into some bad luck, as they seem to hit every red light.

The frat boys find the memorial first. They have to take a ferry to Rottnest Island. The other teams also find the memorial. The frat boys get to the ferry station but it doesn’t open until 7:30 AM. (Bunch point alert) The hippies and Ray/Yolanda take a charter bus to the ferry station.

The frat boys, MoJo, and the oldies decide to stay at a backpacker’s hotel. The oldsters are staying in a room called the Pleasure Dome.

Barry: This race has ruined our sex life.

Fact: I threw up my lunch after hearing that.

The next morning, the teams take the ferry to Rottnest Island. Then, they have to ride a tandem bike to the lighthouse. Most of the teams are having trouble and are clearly not Lance Armstrong.

The frat boys make it to the lighthouse first. It’s a Detour. The choices are Sand or Sea. In Sand, teams must drag 40 large branches to a marked sand dune. This is called “brushing the beach” and is common in Australia.

In Sea, teams must search through crayfish traps to find live crayfish. They must bring two back to a fisherman who will give them their next clue.

Fact: We’ve had WAY too many searching tasks this season.

The other teams also get to the lighthouse and head to the Detour. The frat boys get there first and choose Sea. The hippies are right behind them and opt for Sand.

MoJo are biking towards the Detour. Monica thinks they’re going the wrong way and begs Joseph to turn around. Joseph doesn’t and argues relentlessly about it. He finally does turn around.

Fact: Monica is very good at b!tching.

The frat boys decide to do Sea. Unfortunately for us, they have to get into speedos. The speedos make their “equipment” even smaller.

Fact: Any girl who found Eric and Jeremy attractive is now turned off.

The oldies arrive at the Detour and choose Sand. The task that requires you to drag large branches a bunch of feet. The oldies will have no problem with that.

The frat boys find the crayfish and give it to the fisherman. Their clue tells them to go to Fremantle Prison.

Fact: They will probably encounter Colin, Jonathan, and Lake there.

MoJo arrive and do Sea. Monica changes into a speedo, and I almost want to kill Joseph for getting her. Almost because Monica is a whiny b!tch.

The hippies finish the Detour and head to prison. Meanwhile, MoJo are diving for crayfish. They bring one back, but they were supposed to bring two. How do you confuse 1 and 2? That’s something you learn in kindergarten.

Fact: MoJo also don’t know who is Mo and who is Jo.

The oldies finish their task and head to prison. MoJo head back into the water. Monica dives down for the crayfish, but it does the smartest thing ever. It swims away from her. Even Joseph hasn’t learned that yet. Unfortunately for the crayfish, Monica eventually catches it and they get their clue.

Ray/Yolanda finally finish the Detour and head to prison. The frat boys arrive at the bike shop and quickly get on the ferry to Fremantle. The hippies get there next, but the ferry to Fremantle has already left. There is a ferry to Hillary’s, however. They get on it because they were told they would be ahead of the other teams.

Fact: That will backfire on the hippies.

The oldies, MoJo, and Ray/Yolanda all make it on the same ferry. The oldies and MoJo call a taxi company to have a taxi waiting for them when they get off the ferry.

The frat boys make it to the prison first. It’s a Roadblock, a task only one person can perform. For this task, the teammate must first search in division 4 for a flashlight with (Product Placement incoming) Duracell batteries. Then, they must search for a door that will lead them to a darkened cabin. They will then descend to a series of tunnels and search for their next clue.

Fact: The frat boys should stay in prison forever.

Jeremy does the Roadblock for his team. It takes him a while to find the flashlight, but he eventually does. He then gets lost on the way to the tunnels. Of all the places to get lost, a prison is not the best place.

The hippies get off the ferry and catch a taxi to the prison. Unfortunately, they encounter every red light on the way. (Told you it would backfire.) The other teams exit the ferry. MoJo and the oldies race for the cabs. MoJo finds theirs quickly, but the taxi for the oldies is nowhere to be found.

Fact: The oldies’ taxi didn’t show because he didn’t want to drive a cab with two old people in diapers.

The oldies and Ray/Yolanda have to walk to the prison because they can’t find a taxi. The oldies happen to find a bus that takes them to the prison.

Back at the prison, Jeremy is still looking for the tunnels. MoJo and the hippies arrive at the prison and join in the search. Jeremy finally finds the tunnels after about an hour. He goes down into a boat and rows through the tunnel looking for the clue.

Fact: Unfortunately, Jeremy won’t be able to drown in the tunnel.

Joseph and Tyler begin looking for the flashlight. Joseph finds it first and tells Tyler he doesn’t know where it is. Tyler then finds the flashlight soon after.

Ray/Yolanda and the oldies finally get to the prison, and Yolanda and Fran do the Roadblock. In the tunnels, Jeremy couldn’t find the clue in the wet tunnel, so he switches to the dry one. He quickly finds it, and the frat boys head to the pitstop, South Breakwater at the Fremantle Sailing Club.

Fact: The frat boys are in first too damn much.

Joseph finds the clue, and MoJo heads for the pitstop. It’s now a race between MoJo and the frat boys for first. The frat boys just beat MoJo and win yet another trip.

Tyler, Yolanda, and Fran descend into the tunnels. Tyler finds the clue first, and the hippies head off to the pitstop in third. Yolanda finds the clue next, and Fran finds it soon after. The hippies make it to the pitstop in third, so Ray/Yolanda and the oldies are fighting to avoid Philimination. Ray/Yolanda make it there first, which means the oldies are Philiminated.

Fact: The oldies should have been gone a long long time before this.

Next time on The Amazing Race:

The teams get to act out their Steve Irwin fantasies as they wrestle some crocs.
MoJo and the hippies still hate each others' guts.