PLAY BALL! (with apologies to Ernest Thayer) by AmazonLawyer, for the Brain...Trust
The outlook isn't brilliant for the Barramundi Five this day.
The lamb's been sacrificed and the camp's been washed away
And now Thanksgiving's upon them, no turkey's there to grill.
A sickly pallor descends at the thought of more Keith swill.
A yawning few flip the remote and sniff as boredom grows.
"How much more suffering can one take in these reality shows?"
The rest stay glued to TV sets, hope glistening in their eyes.
"But wait," they mutter, "things could get good, if Rodger says his buhbyes!"
But Amber preceded Rodger, and Nick was well before that
And the former was a following sheep, and the latter a lazy rat.
So the ever-growing melancholy descends upon our throng
For there seemed but little chance of anyone topping Jerri's farewell song.
But Marky's oh so evil, and Jeffy's got the password key.
They've concocted a devilish prank to play at the tribe's RC.
"Wanna talk to Mommy? Hear big sister's news?
Just 'net' the most right answers - you don't even need your shoes!"
Then from the five parched throats arose a hoarse and rabid yell.
"For but one brief chat with loved ones our souls we'd gladly sell!"
Jeffy holds one arm up high - "Survivors ready? GO!"
And what a surprise, it's Colby's game - he's quite the challenge ho.
There are tears in Colby's Texan eyes, and in poor Lizzie's too.
Rodger's looking pretty glum, but no, not all boohoo.
It's time to focus all their thoughts on winning that cool mill.
An IC win would nicely suffice - that necklace fits the bill!
But oh, that Colby's on the warpath, and Keith is in his sights.
How dare he cook so much goo? What gives him such rights?
And oh, how Rodger takes it in with a watchful eye -
He knows this may come in handy at a TC by and by.
The die is cast, the game is on, and for our wretched five
The lobster's the only thing that can assure them they'll survive.
Like escapees from the Botany Bay our survivors fleetly run,
But it's Colby's chains that are broken first - that lucky sonofagun!
From the other side of TV-land, there goes up a roar apace
Like the squalling we were treated to when Alicia got in Kimmi's face.
"Whatever will the Ogres do?" "Who will go tonight?"
When Rodger - Mighty Rodger! - steps up to lead the fight!
With a smile of Christian charity the mighty Rodge's face shone.
Like Jesus greeting the masses, he seemed to say, the show must go on.
The votes are cast, the ballots read, and when the smoke is cleared
The spellbound millions collectively view the damage that they feared.
No, no one died, at least not quite, in this climactic show.
And not all broke down and sobbed like babes lost in woodland snow.
But still and all the Brain...Trust weeps, for we can't believe our eyes.
The bootee truly saddens all, even though it's no great surprise.
Oh somewhere in the Outback the sun is shining bright,
And somewhere crocs are smiling, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere roos hop merrily, and somewhere owls may hoot.
But there is no joy in Crittenden ...
MIGHTY RODGER GOT THE BOOT.
EPILOGUE:
Wonder how we do it? It's really quite a feat.
A feed from Nova Scotia last November proved a treat.
Not only do we sit at the right hand of certain messiahs,
We're hardwired into Burnett's brain - should make us all pariahs