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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be the Amazing Racer 9.4"
Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-22-06, 01:53 AM (EST)
 
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"Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
In München steht ein Hofbräuhaus
Eins zwei g'suffa!Whee! Wasn't that a fun leg? Oh, come on. You, Michelle, especially should have been thrilled to hit your ever loving husband over the head with numerous bottles of wine. Hiya nerds, welcome to Moscow. You're the last team to arrive. *solemn face* Psych! Ha! Yeah, here's yer clue. That was funny. You guys thought you were going to be eliminated...ah ha ha! OK, I should explain the whole Superleg thing. See, Fran and Barry had it right. The clue box does disappear now and again. Some time-space thing I think. Anyway, I had to do the cluebox's job for it, the slacker. The directions should have read: go to Red Square to get your next clue. We really had to shuffle to get new directions printed up in time after the box went missing. We finally tracked it down in Schwieberdingen* and sent it over to the Mercedes plant. Eric and Jeremy: Seriously. Grow. the hell. up. Mind you, you did come in first. And you were first for most of the leg, having lucked out getting the first plane out of Moscow. Aber ihr seid nicht so nett. Dani and Danielle: No matter how annoyed you are that the frat boys got ahead of you, do not attach yourselves to them again. Ray and Yolanda and MoJo, you guys all looked pretty good in your Lederhosen. Way better than Fran and Barry. Who knew switching to dancing would be the quicker route? I'm sure you were all driving carefully. Wouldn't it have been a riot if you'd gotten pulled over by the police? "I swear we haven't been drinking, officer! We were just hitting each other over the head with wine bottles to the beat of the cuckoo clock." BJ and Tyler: excellent comeback after getting to the doll Detour so late. I noticed that you were walking backwards to the Pit Stop Mat. Can't fool me. I even mentioned it to Peter here. Also, don't tip me. I'm not the guy in the swanky bathroom giving out towels. Sheesh. Wanda and Desiree, you're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to say you've been eliminated from the Race. Let me just take a moment here to say how wonderful it was to see Wanda encouraging Desiree in the same way that Desiree encouraged her. Yes, you certainly made her feel confident during the Roadblock, made sure she knew how much you value her. Overall, that was some implosion. See ya. 
*That's a real place in Germany. Thanks to Angelfood for inventing this game. As always, please keep the game in the game thread. New players are welcome! All the Racers have been spoken for as well as: BJ/Tyler's Camera Guy
The Pit Stop Mat
The Clue
The Cluebox
The Genie
Phil's Golf Equipment
Yolanda's Butt Please feel free to post as anyone else. For example: any of the taxi drivers, the Lederhosen dancers, the poor chick Eric and Jeremy were hitting on...be creative!
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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03-23-06, 08:07 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-23-06 AT 08:13 PM (EST)*hic* *hic* Thanksh for die good time. Ja, it vash kind of fun, und I had been walkink in shirclesh und zig-zagsh und loopsh for days tryink to find my houshe. Sho ja, I vash glad to help you. I very mush enjoyed ven you vere lookink for die little gnome. I saw little gnomes all over die field, dancink und playink...vy did you not grab one of them? But then they dishappeared. Oh, that vas ven I got tired und lay down on die ground und got to look up at die loud lady's how you shay...bottom? Button? I do not remember all die English. Hittink me in die mouth vith die little gnome ish not nice. I just pinched her onshe, I think. Danke for fixink my teeth afterwardsh. Vy didn't sha have me take you to the plashe where you broke the wine bottles? That vould have been sho mush more fun. *hic* After beink in die car vith theshe two peoples, my earsh hurt from die arguink und die nashtinesh. Hans thinksh maybe he vill not drink again...did thish really happen? Are all Americansh sho repulshive? *hic* *hic* Hans, the Drunk German Tour Guide
I vish I could have been vith the pretty dark-shkinned lady und looked up at her cute button.
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greeneyes 698 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-24-06, 04:57 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Hi Honey!That was so great being able to break the bottles over your head. You really took it like a man, and thanks for being somewhat gentle. Though those bottles still hurt, no matter what you do. And Lake, you were so smart to get the guy to help us. You're just brilliant. Dear, you were so right. I need to be positive, just like you at all time, dagnabbit. Give me a G, Give me an A, give me an R, give me an N, give me an E, give me an R!!!! What's it's spell? Garner, Garner, yay, Garner!!!!!!! 
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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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03-22-06, 09:57 AM (EST)
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3. "Willkommen im Sequesterville" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-22-06 AT 10:05 AM (EST)Hola Senoras!
Welcome to Sequesterville. What took you so long? I hope you didn't get lost on your way here. We had a huge welcome party planed for you, but the others got tired of waiting and went to bed. My masters decorated the room for the party. The sisters bedazzled a welcome sign for you and made a dish they called Exotic Rocky Mountain Oysters. I was the bartender. Would you like a Margarita? I also wrote you a song. Would you like me to sing it for you? Great!
Willkommen, saludo, welcome!
Kandidat, corredor, racer.
Gluklich zu sehen, Feliz verle, Happy to see you
Bleibe, estancia, stay.
Willkommen, saludo, welcome
Im Sequesterville, a Sequesterville, to Sequesterville!
Now a special verse for Wanda
saludo, saludo, welcome!
corredor, corredor, racer.
Feliz verle, Feliz verle, Happy to see you
estancia, estancia, stay.
saludo, saludo, welcome
a Sequesterville, a Sequesterville, to Sequesterville!
Thank you! You're a great audience. I'll be here for the next 8 or 9 weeks. Don't forget to tip your bartender. 
It's pronounced GEE-NEE. The G isn't silent
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warp_core breach 469 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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03-22-06, 12:47 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Remember, you share me... you do not own me.It's sooo hard when I'm split between two people and only the size of pea. I was screaming at you both to stop following those two chicks! Did you listen? Of course not! You keep following them and then get lost in the same spot as you did before! I can't believe those oobies actually physically prevented which ever one of you was driving the car. All you had to do was turn around. But no, oobies stick out too much and therefore steering wheel cannot be turned... shesh! Signed, Dani & Danielle's Shared Brain I guess size really does matter... pea-sized brain compared to big oobies - pea-sized brain gets no respect.
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bystander 4968 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
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03-22-06, 11:16 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Did you guys see how Tyler and I got the last two tickets on the Frankfurt flight? The Madchen’s love themselves some hippy dudes and wanted us in Germany schnell! Oh WOW Tyler dude, we were on one sweet racetrack. Macht Schnell Herr Fahrer! I haven’t had that great of a ride since my best Dude Tyler and I picked up that hitchhiker on that Kitaro walk through Japan. Thanks to my buddy Tyler’s Happy Dance I was bringin’ home the Gnome man. Thanks for the good vibes Tyler. Hey team Nicotine Patch, did you guys rent that drunk German guy? He was blowin’ chunks in the Gnome Holes. Looked like a mixture of beer and sauerkraut. So uncool! I think he may have stolen some stash from my backpack while Tyler was doin’ his happy dance. If only Viper was filming the drunk guy rather than Tyler. Breaking bottles over my buddy’s head was uber-cool. Those Lederhosen were riding up my butt something fierce man. That’ll teach me to go commando in Deutschland. Its probably a good thing you didn’t keep that dollar Phil. You don’t wanna know where I had it stashed. Any Madchens out there wanna dance? Tyler buddy, what did you put in that last fat boy. First, I couldn’t stop running backward and then I swear I saw a real-life Travelocity Gnome standing next to Phil on the Pit Stop Mat. Whoa, Freaky man. 
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beau_30 952 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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03-22-06, 11:32 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Well Tyler is way better than the drunk guy. But man you guys should feel sorry for me, I can't believe Phil made me ride on top of the car. It was crazy but wicked. You guys should of been out there with me. Man but next week, we get some German Drunk Guys.
Wow, DUDE! This race is far out!
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ARnutz 13937 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-22-06, 01:29 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Hey Phil! How you doin'?Did you see how we rocked this leg? Yessirree! We were really in our element with that driving and reading maps stuff! Did you see how cute my Barry looked in his leiderhosen? Ain't he the sweetest little man? He kind of looked like Gepetto in a Pinnochio outfit, huh? Woo hoo! From last in Brazil to 4th in Germany. Go team! Thank goodness for that superleg! ...and I thought we'd still be stuck at the Brotas bus station or looking through those little nesting dolls in the Dubrovka theatre! Pffft! We are going to win this race! Mark my words! We're in a groove now!
Behind every good Summit man, there is a high endurance woman pushing their butts uphill! 
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Lasann 3616 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"
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03-22-06, 01:59 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
What can I say? What can I say?You try finding a troll in a hole in the dark with my momma yelling at you. You see, I love my momma, but the memories of my lonely childhood came rushing back when she was urging me on. All the speaches, all the nagging. It was all so hard on us. And who'd thunk that I'd have to pay attention and know how to read a map. A map with east and west. Why isn't there a map with left and right on it. I know my left from my right. Surely I do. We had a good run, momma and I.
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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-23-06, 06:36 AM (EST)
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33. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Look since you won't go away at least GET WITH THE PROGRAM! We're here to win a million bucks. Got it? All your negativity is causing me to frown. If I get wrinkles on my perfectly taned face I'll be really, really pissed! I spent days and days laying on the beach in Belmar to look this good, don't ruin it.
I realize that in a past life you were a frustrated drag queen and now you just can't come to terms with having such perfect mounds of delight. Get over it!
If we win I'll take you to the place with all those books. Keep messing with us and I'll spend days watching nothing but Telly Tubbies and Boobaas non stop. That aughta put you in a coma and get rid of you.
Unite with us little pea, unite!
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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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03-22-06, 05:46 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Can someone tell me please why Joseph and I are not getting much air time???? This is starting to really piss me off now. I mean why were chosen for this race? As I look around, I'm sure it's because I'm the most beautiful woman in this group. Did you see me in my Lederhosen? Hot, is all I can say. But the editors seem to think everyone else is so fascinating to show. I can only hope that this means that we will be in the race till the end, thus giving these poor people who are eliminated first some air time. If not, I'm gonna scream!Jo, you looked so hot in those shorts. Way better than Ray and Yolanda with those big butts. I don’t know how they even get through the plane isles. “Excuse me, sorry, big butts coming through.” Ouch! Would you wear those tonight miene liebchen. Ya, du bist sehr schon. 
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susan765 166 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-23-06, 06:40 AM (EST)
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34. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 9.4" |
Blah, Blah , Blah. Can you two get any more boring? They had days of film to choose from and they couldn't even find one little scene? I don't know whose to blame Mo the manic little gnat or the dull silent Jo.
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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