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The Ellipsiiis Brain Trust™
Providing Quality Spoilage Since Episode 7.

Week 11 Predictions

Welcome to The Ellipsiiis Brain Trust weekly spoiler page.

Come on in and find a pew because we have a special "Holy Thursday" edition of picks on tap for everyone. As you will soon see, it is also a spiritual week in the Outback for our remaining contestants. Let us bow our heads and pray...

The first reading is from the Book of Genesis, Chapter 7, verses 10 and 19:

'And after seven days the waters of the flood came upon the earth. And the waters prevailed so mightily upon the earth that all the high mountains under the whole heaven were covered'

Can I get an Amen anybody?

The second reading is from the Gospel according to Mark. No not that Mark...OUR Mark. You know, Mark Burnett, who some lovingly refer to as Evil Pecker Mark (not us though, that's cruel). This little communion wafer is taken from his "SURVIVOR II The Field Guide", page 63:

"When it falls, the rain is torrential. River levels rise from sedate and shallow to roaring. Choosing where they place their camps is pivotal, for what one day is a dry creek bed tomorrow can be a raging river."

Glory in the highest indeed. But what can it all mean? And more importantly, how do sponsor product placements fit into it? Please be seated...

First, a quick recap is in order. When last we left our plucky survivors, they were alternately starving, pooping and bartering their shelter away to the Evil One's Wicked Stepchild in exchange for more rice and fish hooks. Taking a page from Little Pigs #1 and #2 respectively, they quickly built a new shelter under a large tree using straw and twigs. Alas, said tree is located in a dry creek bed. Not exactly the Big Bad Wolf, but creek beds are only dry until it rains...torrentially. When that occurs, bad stuff happens..."Acts of God" bad stuff.

As Week 11 unfolds in the Outback, the remaining members of the "BareMyUndies" tribe are anxiously watching the rising level of the water outside their back door, er, tree branch. As Lis cries, Kentucky Joe and Tina try to fish in the muddy water. Sitting on a log and watching, Colby, Keith and Amber discuss the wisdom of a popular parable:

COLBY: "I think its give a man a fish and he eats it, teach a Texan to fish and he wins".
KEITH: "I cooked fish for two presidents once."
AMBER: " "
COLBY: "Wait a minute. If he's hungry give him a fish, and then teach him to fish tomorrow."
KEITH: "Isn't it nice without that ##### Jerri around here."
AMBER: " "
COLBY: "One fish in the hand is worth two on the line."
KEITH: "Do you think Tina has had "enhancement" surgery?"
AMBER: " "
AMBER: " "
AMBER: " "
AMBER: "Oh...My...God!"

This riveting entertainment is interrupted by host Jeff Probst announcing yet another Reward Challenge. Will it be as "explosive" as last time? We can only hope. With our arms raised, staring at the heavens above, we are provided with a vision. We see ropes (lots of them), and numbers, and food, and ...horses?. Uh Oh! We've all heard the rumor about Rodger falling off a horse and breaking his collarbone. Is this the week it finally happens?

Nah. Don't believe a word of it.

To win the Reward Challenge this week, one lucky survivor will need to reach down deep and master the following skills: ability to count to four, ability to hold on to a rope, ability to remember where they are. You will be aMAZEd. If they can crawl, run, avoid obstacles and "find their way through" faster than everyone else, they will earn very special treat.

The challenge goes down to the "wire", but it looks like THE COLBSTER pulls it out. He wins a ride around the outback (think vehicle with a horsepower of one) and a fine meal. We can't say exactly what he'll get but we have an idea (pssst, save the drumstick for me and pass the gravy!) As Colby prepares to ride off into the sunset, Lis cries, Amber tries to braid the horse's mane and Keith tries to remember his recipe for "Filet de Cheval" (that's horseburgers to you and me). They all contemplate what might have been.

When the losers get back to camp, they are dismayed to find out what the creek in dry creek bed actually stands for. That's right, water...and lots of it. What was once a lazy stream is now becoming a swift flowing river with a purpose. Nothing in their camp is safe, and they have to act quickly to save their pitiful remaining items of worth. Luckily, Rodger knows how to throw and hold on to a rope. This useful talent saves one of Keith's boots. (OK he saves some other stuff too.)

Speaking of Keith, he turns in a truly heroic effort worthy of beatification in several hundred years. Summoning his faith, he proceeds to "walk on water" and save everyone's clothes. He is a bona fide hero.

Alleluia, alleluia, al-le-e-e-lu-ia.

Gratefully, Day 33 dawns with a promise of bright sunshine and warm temperatures. This allows our courageous group of pilgrims to take stock of what they resurrected and what got away (hint: Hey Mark, can we make another deal?). Amber utters her most profound statement to date...

Oh...My...God!!!!!!! (Notice the extra exclamation points, which is different than her normal intonation.)

Everyone realizes just how bad stuff smells when it comes out of floodwaters. They would welcome Nicque and his "smell of ass" at this point in the proceedings. Alas, they have no time to reflect on their sorry state because it's time for the Immunity Challenge. The Immunity Challenge is a big secret this week, but we think it will leave everyone scratching their heads (except for one of course).

And just who could that be?

You guessed it. Fresh off his gallop around the Outback, Colby has the "Inside Track" to win when everyone else cries "Uncle" (Unfortunately,there were no Cameramen around to see that part). For the second straight week he wins the coveted MOST UGLY NECKLACE EVER and a blanket of red roses. Mint juleps for everyone!

As day slowly fades into night, we see the survivors sharing a meal and reflecting on the ugly business that lie ahead. For one unlucky soul, this meal will be their last as part of the group. Later that evening, they will be betrayed by someone they trusted. (Hint: Watch who dips their wooden sticks into the rice bowl at the same time during dinner...it's a dead give away.)

In a shocking turn of events, MBR BRKCH gets the boot tonight. Ah those goofy Ogakors. They just can't make up their minds now can they? Who would have thought that they would break ranks once again to crucify one of their own? Not MBR, that's for sure.

As we say a fond farewell to MBR, let's all hope that she will make enough money from her appearance to buy a vowel. We leave you with her final words...

Oh...My...God!

So there you have it, another gripping episode brought to you by The Ellipsiiis Brain Trust. It's quite easy (we hope) when you examine all the evidence.

In closing, please stand and turn your hymnals to page 24 and join me in singing "Death Don't Have No Mercy (in this land)".

Good night and God Bless