The Amazing Race   American Idol   The Apprentice   The Bachelor   The Bachelorette   Big Brother   The Biggest Loser
Dancing with the Stars   So You Think You Can Dance   Survivor   Top Model   The Voice   The X Factor       Reality TV World
   
Reality TV World Message Board Forums
PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats, but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are encouraged to read the complete guidelines. As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
"Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
Archived thread - Read only 
Previous Topic | Next Topic 
Conferences American Idol General Discussion Forum (Protected)
Original message

TODDLJ 421 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

04-17-03, 02:09 PM (EST)
Click to EMail TODDLJ Click to send private message to TODDLJ Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
"Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
LAST EDITED ON 04-17-03 AT 02:19 PM (EST)

Note to readers/fans/stalkers: This is my weekly Diva rant, similar to the popular and critically praised 'Gay Survivor Journal.' It is an exclusive to the RealityTVWorld American Idol board.
Please note that my opinions are based solely on image, style and originality, not on voice. Some of the biggest selling recording artists of all time couldn't sing for crap. A short list of Stars with marginal vocal talent would include: Cher, Bette Midler, Britney Spears, Enrique Iglesias, Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Kylie Minogue... the list goes on and on. What they had was Star Quality... so what I am looking for is a DIVA (male or female) with that X-factor.

This Week's Diva Rankings

1. Kimberly Locke
Diva of the Week.
Girlfriend makes another jump this week, from third to first, winning her first Diva of the Week title. My first thought when she took the stage was: ‘Wow, she’s lost a lot of weight!’ And while no doubt she has dropped a few pounds since her early weeks, I think the truth is actually that she is finally dressing for her body type. Pay attention, ladies (and drag queens.) When a person wears a two-piece ensemble (or a dress with any sort of waistband or belt) this divides the body into two parts. When the body is evenly divided, the eye is drawn to the widest area of each of those parts. So when a lady like Kimberly wears a tucked shirt, band-waist dress, or short jacket, the eye is drawn to her shoulders (which are okay) and her hips (not so good.) On the other had, when she wears a long tailored jacket (like she did on Tuesday) the division is not balanced, so the eye is drawn to the center of the larger area. Thus on Tuesday, my eye was drawn solely to her breasts (as it should be.) Furthermore, her choice of always-fashionable, always-slimming black was perfect. The lace on the top of her shirt was subtle and classy, her necklace was understated, her charcoal felt cap added urban flair, and her sleek black hair looked healthier and smoother than ever.

In attitude, as well, she was 100% Diva this week. Her performance had a ‘go ahead, put me in the bottom three again… I don’t care… I’m still FIERCE… so ##### you!’ attitude about it that I loved. No flash or showiness here, just style and substance. You go!

2. Trenyce
Runner Up Diva of the Week.
Trenyce holds this week in the number two slot. This week she wore what was, by all accounts, a cream silk undergarment. I know some of you at home were screaming ‘you forgot your dress, girl!’ But before you cast stones, my friends, please be aware that Trenyce’s slip-dress was certainly in keeping with current fashion trends. (In fact, this look is not even really edgy… it has been available for several seasons… it borders on outdated.) Still, on a ‘family’ show this look was somewhat ‘risky’ (not to be confused with risqué, which it also was.)

The true test of a ‘risky’ garment choice is two factors: 1. How does she look in it? (In her case, smokin’. The underwire detail helped augment her otherwise pancake-like chest, and the shirred fabric helped fill out her lanky figure. Also, the cream color played nicely off her lovely skin tone.) 2. Can she pull off the necessary attitude? (Trenyce? Attitude? No doubt on this point.) All in all, this week was a winner for Ms. T!

3. Kimberley Caldwell
In her last appearance on American Idol, Kimberley goes out with a bang! It was not a Diva-of-the-Week smash, but it was undoubtedly a success. She looked gorgeous, as always, in an asymmetrical black skirt with a silver ‘charm-bracelet’ belt, high black boots, and an unusual black, silver, and sky-blue bandeau top held in place with shoulder straps, and a strap crossed at the throat. The look had a sort of New York meets New Delhi feeling that I found quite interesting. (Her detractors, who are obviously just jealous beeyotches, may have called the look ‘gypsy stripper.’) I, for one, also liked her Marcia Brady hairdo. It may not have been the best hairstyle she has created, but at least it was, like every week, fresh.

Furthermore, Kimberley earns Diva points this week for handling her boot this week with humility, grace, and good sportsmanship. (She quite honestly could have screamed: “Carmen is safe? Are you ##### kidding me! She SUCKED! But, thankfully, she let the truth remain unspoken.)

4. Clay Aiken
Clay looked marginally better this week, choosing a black two-piece suit and royal blue T-shirt. The royal blue was a perfect choice for his skin tone and eyes, and one can never go wrong with a black suit.

My gripes about the look are small but not insignificant.

First, the navy blue track shoes. (Track shoes. Need I say more?)

Second, the fit. It is clear to me that Clay has a long and lean physique, narrow hips, wide shoulders, and little or no muscle tone. This is the body style (except the part about the muscle tone) that most runway models possess. This means that Clay should be able to wear fitted, couture clothing, and look great in it. There must be a style that would FIT HIM and also be in keeping with his ‘nerd-stud’ image. Enough with the baggy, oversized, ill-fitting duds, Clay! Take some risks! May I suggest Armani?

5. Ruben Studdard
Again, Ruben shunned the 205 jerseys… this time with mixed results. While the cream suede shirt-jacket was no doubt fashionable, I would have chosen a richer, darker color to play better with his skin tone and also make him look less Earth-shakingly huge. (For the same reason, the white undershirt was also a horrible choice.) His faded denim pants were acceptable, if unremarkable.

And, as always, the judges didn’t mention Ruben’s most obvious flaw. America, in case you haven’t noticed, Ruben is grossly obese. The man can barely cross the stage without getting winded. I worry that one week he’ll collapse lifeless on the stage while riffing ‘yeah, babeeeeeee.’ Did anyone else notice how much he was sweating this week? By the end of the number, his forehead was drenched. (A Diva NEVER gets caught sweating.) In the name of all things fair and just, please Simon, mention that Ruben could stand to lose a few… HUNDRED… pounds.

6. Joshua Gracin
Somehow, Josh managed to do the impossible. He wore dark colors and slimming fabrics (a black shirt and charcoal pants) and looked… dare I say it…. pudgier than ever! The black shirt was, in theory, a good choice. But when tucked into his too tight, flat front, shiny gray slacks, it accentuated his unfortunate waistline. Note to gentlemen: when the pockets of your flat-front pants protrude at the side, the pants are too small! Either choose a larger pair, or forego the unflattering flat front for some pleats. Sure, the flat-fronts are more stylish, but not all men can wear all styles. (Especially tubby supposedly-fit marines like Josh.)

7. Carmen Rasmusen
Oh my heck, what in the name of Joseph Smith was Carmen wearing this week! This former-Diva hit rock bottom this week. It looked to me like she really wanted to wear this (god-awful) turquoise/blue/green swirled silk strapless elastic-waist dress, and her mom said: ‘but Carmen! It’s a sin to show your bare shoulders!’ So she threw on this black cap-sleeved T-shirt underneath it. Then, for fun, she added a yellow ‘smiley face’ pin and a blue shoelace choker (and matching blue eye shadow!) If this is what passes for fashion in rural Utah, then I say we just nuke the place and cut our losses.

  Top

  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... GuessItRains 04-17-03 1
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... SaphireLady 04-17-03 2
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... GeorgiaBelle 04-17-03 3
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Bebo 04-17-03 4
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... L82LIFE 04-17-03 5
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Connie E 04-17-03 6
   RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Lisapooh 04-18-03 11
       RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Connie E 04-18-03 13
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Femme 04-17-03 7
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... drawde236 04-17-03 8
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... katem 04-18-03 9
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Drive My Car 04-18-03 10
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... Schnookie Palookie 04-18-03 12
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... minitroll 04-18-03 14
 RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel '... BriarRosie 04-21-03 15

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

Messages in this topic

GuessItRains 700 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"

04-17-03, 03:02 PM (EST)
Click to EMail GuessItRains Click to send private message to GuessItRains Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
1. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Spot on as usual Larry! Since I actually watched the show this week I can laugh even more.


  Top

SaphireLady 2491 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Seventeen Magazine Model"

04-17-03, 03:11 PM (EST)
Click to EMail SaphireLady Click to send private message to SaphireLady Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
2. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Great Job



"Now I will believe that there are unicorns..." William Shakespeare; "The Tempest"
  Top

GeorgiaBelle 2136 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"

04-17-03, 04:14 PM (EST)
Click to EMail GeorgiaBelle Click to send private message to GeorgiaBelle Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
3. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
6. Joshua Gracin
Somehow, Josh managed to do the impossible. He wore dark colors and slimming fabrics (a black shirt and charcoal pants) and looked… dare I say it…. pudgier than ever! The black shirt was, in theory, a good choice. But when tucked into his too tight, flat front, shiny gray slacks, it accentuated his unfortunate waistline. Note to gentlemen: when the pockets of your flat-front pants protrude at the side, the pants are too small! Either choose a larger pair, or forego the unflattering flat front for some pleats. Sure, the flat-fronts are more stylish, but not all men can wear all styles. (Especially tubby supposedly-fit marines like Josh.)

Larry you are the best! I could not have said this better. That outfit did nothing for me and I WAS a Josh fan. If anything left me not wanting to see more of that man it was that outfit!

7. Carmen Rasmusen

If this is what passes for fashion in rural Utah, then I say we just nuke the place and cut our losses.

We might want to get Strider and company out 1st. Just saying that is all Other than that I AGREE!!!!

Thanks for another week of laughs!!!!!


  Top

Bebo 21083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

04-17-03, 04:46 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Bebo Click to send private message to Bebo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
4. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
>6. Joshua Gracin
>Somehow, Josh managed to do the
>impossible. He wore dark
>colors and slimming fabrics (a
>black shirt and charcoal pants)
>and looked… dare I say
>it…. pudgier than ever!


Mr. Bebo said the same thing as we watched the show.

Loved your choice for Diva of the Week! Just hope you don't bring your Survivor Diva curse over here. After all, Kim C. got the boot the week after winning...

Bebo says...919 beats 205 - I am your American Idol and the Baroness of Babedom.

  Top

L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

04-17-03, 05:15 PM (EST)
Click to EMail L82LIFE Click to send private message to L82LIFE Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
5. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
*bows before the King*

Once again, you have caused me to go into a fit of laughing. Your Diva rants are dead on, Larry.

  Top

Connie E 117 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

04-17-03, 07:21 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Connie%20E Click to send private message to Connie%20E Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
6. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Oh, Larry, I "heart, heart, heart" you for giving my gal Diva of the Week! All we size 12 and above ladies salute you!

That being said, there is no cause, in these grave times, to resort to nuking anyone. Simply confining all Utahians to the borders of their own state will be sufficient. (Special visas can be arranged for the Boys' choir to go and perform.)

SMOOOTTTCCCHHHH!

  Top

Lisapooh 12664 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

04-18-03, 10:43 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Lisapooh Click to send private message to Lisapooh Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
11. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
hey welcome to the board Connie E! You've been cracking me up all over the place this week! It's good to have you with us!

I *heart* you larry - these kick such serious booty!

  Top

Connie E 117 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

04-18-03, 11:27 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Connie%20E Click to send private message to Connie%20E Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
13. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Thanks, LisaPooh....I've been a reader a long time, but now actually have a few minutes to post thanks to maternity leave (Thank you, Bill Clinton, for the Family Leave Act!)

Anyway, back to adoration for Larry.....you know a Diva never shares the spotlight!!

  Top

Femme 3621 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"

04-17-03, 07:33 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Femme Click to send private message to Femme Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
7. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Smashing job, Larry.

Femme

"We are men of action; lies do not become us."

  Top

drawde236 317 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"

04-17-03, 09:31 PM (EST)
Click to EMail drawde236 Click to send private message to drawde236 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
8. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
I have been anxiously awaiting your thoughts on Carmen's wretched outfit since the show aired and, quite frankly, it was worth the wait.

Thanks

  Top

katem 3315 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

04-18-03, 00:26 AM (EST)
Click to EMail katem Click to send private message to katem Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
9. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Larry sugar, you crack me up again


  Top

Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

04-18-03, 06:56 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Drive%20My%20Car Click to send private message to Drive%20My%20Car Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
10. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"

Perfect!
And Perfectly hysterical!

The stuff about Ruben was so so true.

Tahnks Larry, this was a treat!




  Top

Schnookie Palookie 16822 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

04-18-03, 10:50 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Schnookie%20Palookie Click to send private message to Schnookie%20Palookie Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
12. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Thank you Thank you! You were again hilarious.

I.HEART.LARRY also

  Top

minitroll 3901 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge"

04-18-03, 03:58 PM (EST)
Click to EMail minitroll Click to send private message to minitroll Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
14. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
"Oh my heck, what in the name of Joseph Smith was Carmen wearing this week! This former-Diva hit rock bottom this week. It looked to me like she really wanted to wear this (god-awful) turquoise/blue/green swirled silk strapless elastic-waist dress, and her mom said: ‘but Carmen! It’s a sin to show your bare shoulders!’ So she threw on this black cap-sleeved T-shirt underneath it. Then, for fun, she added a yellow ‘smiley face’ pin and a blue shoelace choker (and matching blue eye shadow!)"

OMH Larry, that was great! As usual, you were right on the money. Love your journals Larry, they are one of the highlights of my week.

  Top

BriarRosie 990 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-21-03, 01:46 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BriarRosie Click to send private message to BriarRosie Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
15. "RE: Gay Idol Journal - Billy Joel 'Hits'"
Woo hoo! You picked the Diva of the Week that I would have chosen. In fact, had you not chosen Kim Locke as the
DOTW, I would have #####-slapped you mercilessly.

I not only like the detailed descriptions of the clothing, but
the "why" part of what works and what doesn't. I think I could
use you to be my stylist, if I were pretentious (or rich) enough
to need one.

Lori


Survivor: Adventurers Club
Outdrink, Outlaugh, Outkungaloosh!

  Top


Remove

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
about this site   •   advertise on this site  •   contact us  •   privacy policy   •