Author’s Note: Because we are on Day 2 of Dweezil Held Hostage, I’ve forwarded this to be posted. The song lists aren’t complete. I’ll update those when I’m able to get online again. Also, any formatting problems are the fault of the author and will be resolved when I get online.

Poster's note: Because I am incapable of doing anything straight, I, Landru, have added a very few comments in bold italics. Overall, this is a lovely summary, but it's way too short and there's not enough downright meanness. Sorry, Dweezil, you gotta pay the ferryman. The upside is that any formatting errors are mine, not LL Cool D's, because I personally fixed every single formatting error in this document.

Because this is already going to be long enough, and because there may be a large number of new readers reading this, I’m going to cut back on the jokes and the snark. (For snark and jokes, see the History of Episode Summaries.) Also, because this is the first time we’ve done AI summaries, we’re kind of inventing the format. I imagine this will get some tweaking as we go along. Finally, where possible I’ll put the song name and original performer, although since AI doesn’t do anything helpful like, oh, show the song name and original performer, this might get tough at times. So let’s get on with it!

Monday Night – Men

We open with Seacrest blathering about the voting, the audition process, and the fact that we, the audience, are in control. He introduces the men individually, points to where the women are sitting in the audience, and then describes the method by which we will get to twelve finalists. Ryan finishes by introducing the judges, then gets right into the singing. Each singer gets a brief black and white film clip from their audition before starting to sing.

Contestant: Nikko Smith
Song: Part Time Lover – Stevie Wonder

Randy’s Comments: “You’d make Stevie proud. One of the best boy performances I’ve ever seen.”
Paula’s Comments: “Strong out of the box with an up tempo song.”
Simon’s Comments: “A background singers performance – the viewers will forget about you in six weeks.”

My Comments: I admit, I’m biased. I’ve been a Cardinals fan for almost 40 years, since 1967. When I see Nikko, I see his dad. Not just the face, but the body and the movement. I want to like him before I hear him.

But I like him after I hear him too. A great rendition of one of my least favorite Stevie Wonder songs. Up tempo, peppy, well sung. If he had done a backflip before he sang, it would have been perfect. Should be a shoe-in for the final 12, in a fair world would make at least final 6.

Contestant: Scott Savol
Song: You Are My Lady -

Randy’s Comments: “Not your best performance, not good song selection. Just all right for me.”
Paula’s Comments: “Good song choice because people wouldn’t expect that from you.”
Simon’s Comments: “It will be interesting to see what the audience makes of you. You don’t look like an American Idol. Good, not fantastic.”

My Comments: Simon’s right, but not in the way everyone thinks. Scott Savol doesn’t look like an American Idol because Scott is a big guy, Scott doesn’t look like an American Idol because he looks menacing. He looks like he could be the keynote speaker at an Aryan Nation convention. Rueben? Big guy, but looked like a teddy bear. Scott? Big guy, looks like he would cut you soon as look at you. If you’re casting Gacy: The Musical Scott Savol is your man. American Idol? Not so much. Nice voice, but that’s all. A shot at the final 12.

Commercials – Landru and Joisey summarize commercials as an art form. I’m not going to touch them here.

Wussy.

We come back, and Ryan is interviewing Bo Bice. Seacrest points out that Bo is a rocker. Bo points out that he would enjoy it more if he could do original material and be onstage with his guitar. Bo should have tried out for Nashville Star.

Contestant: Anthony Federov
Song: Hold Onto The Night – Richard Marx

Randy’s Comments: “Good, boring, safe.”
Paula’s Comments: “Safe.”
Simon’s Comments: “Dull as dishwater. Predictable, left me completely cold.”

My Comments: Back in my karaoke singing days, we had a standard game we would play anytime a guy would sing a Richard Marx song. That game? Sensitive or Just Trying To Get Some? We would place bets on whether or not the singer was just a sensitive guy or if he was just trying to hook up. Anthony Federov? Sensitive guy AND trying to hook up. Dull, boring, forgettable performance, but we’ve had so much of his story thrown at us that he’s still going to get votes. A shot at the final 12, doesn’t deserve to go far beyond that.

Contestant: Bo Bice
Song: Drift Away – Dobie Gray (others have covered it, but the only version worth listening to is Dobie Gray’s version)

Randy’s Comments: “I love people who know who they are. That was hot.”
Paula’s Comments: “Your voice feels good to the soul. You felt like a perfect pair of jeans.”
Simon’s Comments: “Great recording voice. Terrific.”

My Comments: I know Drift Away. I love Drift Away. Mr. Bice, this is not a good version of Drift Away. There has to be some underlying pain to make Drift Away work. None in this version. Nice voice on Bo, but man. Watching him is as boring as watching, well, something really boring. He’ll make the final twelve, and probably the final eight, but no farther.

Commercials. Still not going to comment, but I may break down to say something about the movie Robots.

Straight back into a contestant.

Contestant:Travis Tucker
Song:My Cherie Amour – Stevie Wonder

Randy’s Comments: “Here’s the deal. Safe song. Good voice. Boring.”
Paula’s Comments: “You’re magical, but not the right song choice for me.”
Simon’s Comments: “Out of tune, boring, and not even good enough for a hotel lobby.”

My Comments: There’s good versions of Stevie Wonder songs (see for example Smith, Nikko). There’s bad versions of Stevie Wonder songs. And then there are mediocre versions of Stevie Wonder songs. This is a mediocre version of a Stevie Wonder song.

I think it’s the case that once the cameras start rolling and contestants realize America is voting, one of two things happen. Either they realize this is it, kick it up a notch, and take flight, or they panic and start playing it as safely as possible. Unfortunately, sometimes the folks playing it safe can get pulled along for a long time (cough *Jasmine* cough). We’ll see how far Travis gets pulled along. May make final twelve, shouldn’t go far beyond that.

Contestant: Constantine Maroulis
Song: Kiss From A Rose – Seal

Randy’s Comments: “Out of tune when you went high, good song choice.”
Paula’s Comments: “You have your own style, you’re comfortable on the stage, and you have a lot of fans.”
Simon’s Comments: “You and Bo are in the same bracket, and while Bo is the better singer, you have more charisma.”

My Comments: Oh yeah. I could feel him holding back, and if he gets the chance to cut loose, he’s going to blow everyone away. The audience reaction to Constantine is the best reaction so far tonight. Definitely not going to win in this format, but definitely worth watching. I say he makes the final four.

Commercials.

Contestant: David Brown
Song: Never Can Say Goodbye – Gloria Gaynor (The Jackson Five did it too – I prefer Gloria’s version)

Randy’s Comments: “Fan of your voice, safe song though.”
Paula’s Comments: “I feel like I’m being extra harsh. But you found your groove at the end.” So, she didn’t actually say anything harsh. But she wanted to. Oh yes. She wanted to.
Simon’s Comments: “Disappointing. If it was the first time I’d seen you, I would be 50/50 on you.”

My Comments: Never can say goodbye? Is that a threat? Cause a couple more performances like this and David will be saying goodbye. How can you take an up tempo song and slow it down? Won’t make the final 12, but will make it to the last week of the semifinals.

Contestant: Jared Yates
Song: How Could I? – Turn away from the one I love when I know what my heart’s made of

Randy’s Comments: “Average, or slightly below average.”
Paula’s Comments: “The nerves are making you guys pick safe songs.”
Simon’s Comments: “We don’t have to make any excuses for anybody, however, that was like some ghastly audition for a boy band that you would not have been picked for.”

My Comments: Jared’s film clip had Simon saying Jared had a presence. Jared must have forgotten it someplace, cause he has nothing here. He will be memorable, though not in the way he wanted. He’s the worst singer so far. No chance of the final 12. Should be gone this week. (Heh.)

Commercials.

Contestant: Anwar Robinson
Song: Moon River – Andy Williams (Yeah. You all just went “Who?”)

Randy’s Comments: “I started thinking this is the oddest song choice I’ve ever seen, but you brought it down. Incredible.”
Paula’s Comments: “I want to buy the recording now.”
Simon’s Comments: “Chose originality and it worked. Well done.”

Ryan’s Comment: “You got Paula on her feet.” Yeah, like that’s tough.

It's tougher than getting her off her feet, dood.

My Comments: After a rough start, Anwar sang his way into his groove. When he took the song up about a third of the way in, he took control and started putting himself into the performance. He’s got final four written all over him.

Contestant: Judd Harris
Song: Travelin’ Band – CCR

Randy’s Comments: “Another odd choice, but you brought it.”
Paula’s Comments: “Definitely a crowd pleaser, you did it well.”
Simon’s Comments: “I think a lot of girls will vote for you because of that.”

My Comments: Well, he went up tempo. He butchered it, but he went up tempo. He appeared to be straining as he sang, but he made it through. It doesn’t help that he looks like Matt Leblanc. Still, he should go on after tonight. Certainly not the worst performance so far.

Commercials.

Contestant: Joseph Murena
Song: How Am I Supposed To Live Without You? – Michael Bolton (not the one from Office Space)

Randy’s Comments: “Safe, but you can definitely sing.”
Paula’s Comments: “I think it was one of your better performances.”
Simon’s Comments: “Nothing much more to add. Gets you there, but you’re not very exciting.”

My Comments: God, this is awful. I mean, truly, truly awful. Horribly bad. Atrocious. Spit the taste out of your mouth bad. Forget about waiting for Wednesday, they should boot him off the stage right now.

Contestant: Mario Vazquez
Song: Do I Do – Stevie Wonder

Randy’s Comments: “The bomb. The best performance of the night.”
Paula’s Comments: “Touchdown. Touchdown. Awesome. Awesome.” Paula stood and made the arm signal for touchdown (or completed extra point, for that matter) which led to an uncomfortable visual image for me.
Simon’s Comments: “Proved the point about the importance of charisma. Not the best vocal of the night, but easily the best performance.”

My Comments: Nice performance. Very nice performance. This and Nikko are the reasons Stevie songs shouldn’t be banished. Mario displayed a lot of energy, moving around, getting into the song, getting the crowd into the song. Simon was dead on (personally, I think Simon is almost always dead on) – not the best vocal, but a great performance. Shoe-in for the final 12. A big caveat – I don’t think he can sustain this. Not sure why – just a gut feeling. I predict a mid range exit.

Commercials

We recap the performances, and my initial impressions don’t change. Nikko, Constantine, Anwar, and Mario are at a level above everyone else. Bo, Scott, Travis, and Anthony are the next tier, and David, Jared, Judd, and Joseph all deserve to be gone. Soon. Joseph and Jared deserve to go after tonight.

Right now, my final six men would be Nikko, Scott, Bo, Constantine, Anwar, and Mario. I think the audience will swap out Scott and swap in Anthony, and I wouldn’t have a huge problem with that. To me, Scott, Travis, and Anthony are competing for the final male spot in the final twelve, and at this stage, they are all pretty interchangeable to me.

Tuesday Night – Women

Similar brak brak brak to Monday night from Seacrest. Just read what I wrote up there and – naw. This is word processing. I’ll just cut, paste, and edit.

We open with Seacrest blathering about the voting, the audition process, and the fact that we, the audience, are in control. He introduces the men women individually, points to where the women men are sitting in the audience, and then describes the method by which we will get to twelve finalists. Ryan finishes by introducing the judges, then gets right into the singing. Each singer gets a brief black and white film clip from their audition before starting to sing.

Contestant: Vonzell Solomon – Heat Wave
Song: Heat Wave – Martha And The Vandellas

Randy’s Comments: “Great way to start it off. You were having fun. A little pitchy at times, but you did well.” He then called the men singers the dog pound. That’s original.
Paula’s Comments: “You had fun, a good start.”
Simon’s Comments: “I agree – an amazing start to the show. You are someone who could really do well.”

My Comments: You know, it was a decent version of the song. It wasn’t great, though – too many points where she wasn’t so much singing as talking in rhythm. Not deserving of as much praise as she got. Final twelve, but not much beyond that.

But dang. That cheesy karaoke flames backdrop was really, really, REALLY distracting. Here’s a little trick of the summarizing trade. You watch once to watch, to get initial impressions. You watch a second time to start the summarization process. You watch a third time to finalize what you want to say, then you rewind and rewatch as necessary. I’ve seen all of these performances several times, and as such I can safely state that no other singer got a background as bad as this. (The flying musical notes Bo Bice got were awful, but not in your face like this.) Do they hate Vonzell?

Contestant: Amanda Avila
Song: How Am I Supposed To Live Without You? – Michael Bolton (The one from Office Space)

Randy’s Comments: “It was all right. Good song, you hung in there.”
Paula’s Comments: “You’re beautiful tonight. Good, but not your best performance.”
Simon’s Comments: “The people who have done well in this competition have been different from everyone else. I’ve heard that kind of performance a lot. But in my next life I’d like to come back as your microphone.”

My Comments: Tell me how am I supposed to hear this song and not immediately retch? Can we ban it? Her voice is good, but couldn’t she have picked better? And what is it with British men wanting to be items women own? Not much of a shot at the final 12 even in a weak field of women.

Commercials. Again, I’m not commenting. So I won’t say that I actually like the Burger King Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch commercial with Darius Rucker. I won’t say that at all.

Much better, LL. And if this were a Landru summary, which it wouldn't be, since these two days from heck are the end of my involvement with anything AI, I too would be highly praising this very, very fine commercial, which does so much social and cultural good on so very many levels.

Contestant: Janay Castine
Song:

Randy’s Comments: “Little nervous? You looked scared. Very ambitious song choice. Not sure I love it.”
Paula’s Comments: “You’re fun to watch, but you got shaky there.”
Simon’s Comments: “Paula and Randy are right. The song was too old for you. You were like a very young girl trying to be a grown-up.”

My Comments: Uhm. Okay. That was, uhm. That was. All right. I confess. I fell asleep. I’ll watch it again and…. What? Where am I? Nope. Not good enough. Should be gone before the finals.

Contestant: Carrie Underwood
Song: Could’ve Been

Randy’s Comments: “I’m surprised no one has discovered you before now. That was absolutely brilliant.”
Paula’s Comments: “You were wonderful.”
Simon’s Comments: “One of the favorites to win this competition. You know who you are and what you are about. Terrific. Well done.”

My Comments: Last night, when the men performed, Carrie was the only female who was watching more than supporting. She was obviously judging the quality of the competition, as well she should. (Constantine is doing the same thing tonight.) She’s going to be one of the final 2-4 in this competition. She’s got it – voice, looks, range, charisma.

Commercials

Contestant: Sarah Mather
Song: Get Ready

Randy’s Comments: “I love when people do up tempo. Your voice is better than what we saw, though.”
Paula’s Comments: “Not a good song choice. That’s a good group song, no strong lead.”
Simon’s Comments: “Honestly, if that’s the first impression you want to make at this stage in the competition, it was a mistake. A clumsy, forgettable performance.”

My Comments: Well, she’s milking the Lindsay Lohan likeness as much as she can. (Free the Lohan Two!) That’s all she’s got going for her, though. This song needs the singer to cut loose, and she hasn’t. She’s doing lounge lizard, and not doing it well. Should be cut before the final 12.

Contestant: Melinda Lira
Song: The Power of Love – Celine Dion

Randy’s Comments: “I think you’re one of the best voices in the competition. Not your best performance, though.”
Paula’s Comments: “I agree you have a great voice, but not a good song choice.”
Simon’s Comments: “At this stage, you look for a star to come on. I’ve seen that performance before. That was just...”

My Comments: I don’t normally do the fashion thing. Not my gig. But what the %&^$ is that thing she’s wearing? Does her mother know Melinda’s wearing her clothes? And Celine Dion? A bad performance, the worst so far.

Commercials. Yeah. I’m sure I’ll be commenting on Robots before I get through recapping the results show.

Contestant: Nadia Turner
Song: That’s the Power of Love -

Randy’s Comments: “Props to you for staying true to who you are. Excellent.”
Paula’s Comments: “Great job. I’m surprised. No idea you had that in you. I love it.”
Simon’s Comments: “You are the antidote to karaoke hell. What I loved is that you decided not to play it safe. You came out and through the gauntlet down and made the statement that you were here to win.”

My Comments: It’s funny. The men, top to bottom, are way ahead of the women. On the other hand, the best women are far, far better than the best men. Case in point: Nadia Turner. She’s going to be there at the end with Carrie Underwood. A great performance, a great vocal. She really connected to the audience. Simon is right – most of the men and women who have performed so far have been trying not to lose. They’ve played it safe, haven’t tried to cut loose, haven’t tried to show who they are. Not Nadia. She’s made a bold statement here. Should be among the final four.

Contestant: Celena Rae
Song:

Randy’s Comments: “Safe and boring after Nadia.”
Paula’s Comments: “Tentative at the beginning. Not sure of the song selection.”
Simon’s Comments: “That song is difficult for the audience to know what you’re all about.”

My Comments: Nice voice. Weird song choice. It went pitchy on some of the high notes, but it’s okay. Not great enough to rave over, not bad enough to rant over. Middle of the pack.

Commercials

Contestant: Mikalah Gordon
Song: Young Hearts Run Free

Randy’s Comments: “Personality, personality, personality. I enjoyed you.”
Paula’s Comments: “You are a character. I had fun. I was rooting for you.”
Simon’s Comments: “Half the audience will love you and half will find you annoying.”

My Comments: You know, if I wanted to hear Fran Drescher sing, I’d find something where Fran Drescher sang and listen to that. This was horrible. I hope to God Simon is wrong and that everyone finds her annoying. Probably won’t, though. The age thing will play in her favor, but she doesn’t deserve to be here. (And why did someone let her take the stage dressed like a female impersonator?)

Contestant: Lindsay Cardinale
Song:

Randy’s Comments: “You’re a better singer than that. Take some chances.”
Paula’s Comments: “Your voice stands out cause it’s deep and rich and sexy. The song choice didn’t show it off.”
Simon’s Comments: “Take the risks with your song choices. That was boring, and you’re not.”

My Comments: Safe, dull, forgettable. See what I said about Celena Rae. And please. No flesh colored tops. It looks like she’s flashing us when she’s not. And that? Makes me mad.

Commercials

Contestant: Jessica Sierra
Song: Against All Odds – Phil Collins

Randy’s Comments: “I liked it. Tough song to sing.”
Paula’s Comments: “You commanded the stage. You know who you are.”
Simon’s Comments: “I thought you were very nervous. I hope you stay in because you have potential.”

My Comments: Started out shaky, but got on track and brought it home. Good voice, strong range. Good look. This is a good example of how you can do a slow song but not be safe or boring. The key is that you have to put power and feeling into it. Jessica does. One of the top four women.

Contestant: Aloha Mischeaux
Song:

Randy’s Comments: “You already know I loved it, loved it, loved it. That was the bomb.”
Paula’s Comments: “You have a lot of showmanship. Pick songs that showcase that.”
Simon’s Comments: “You did the job tonight. Of the twelve girls, I will remember three or four performances, and that was one of them.”

My Comments: A different performance. Distinctive. Fun. Good stage presence. Perhaps a bit too funky, though I want to see what she does in the future. Could someone teach her to walk upright, though. She looks like the keep on trucking cartoon.

Commercials

We recap the performances. Carrie and Nadia are way above everyone else, including the best of the men. Vonzell, Jessica, and Aloha are worthy of the final twelve but not much beyond that. The rest – Amanda, Janay, Sarah, Melinda, Celena, Mikalah, and Lindsay – don’t deserve to be in this competition, but at least two of them are going to make it to the final twelve, cutting out two much more deserving males. Melinda and Mikalah deserve to be cut after tonight.

But I though I would rather pick eight men and four women, I have to pick six of each. As such, tight now, my final six women would be Vonzell, Carrie, Nadia, Jessica, Aloha and, and, and, and. I can’t do it. I can’t think of another performer who deserves to make it. Let’s pick one, throwing out Sarah, Melinda, and Mikalah. Uhm, Amanda. No. Lindsay. Lindsay. Aw carp. I don’t care. After Carrie and Nadia, none of the women deserve to make it much past the final twelve. I can’t get a feel for who the audience will pick, though that might be a by-product of not getting a feel for who I should pick.

Wednesday Night – Results Show

This is getting long, and you don’t want to hear a blow-by-blow recap. So instead, some general impressions to go with brief detail.

We open with Ryan talking to the judges. Paula says song choice is important. Simon says they may have been harder on the men than the women because they expected more from the men. I missed what Randy had to say because of the end of Lost. So there.

We go to break. Of course we do. The results show is all break. It’s become such a joke that the elimination is coming after the break that Seacrest even makes fun of it. It’s lame.

The results show is the most padded thing on tv. This could be done, even with four eliminations, in fifteen minutes. To stretch it to an hour should be criminal. Where are the FCC fines when you really need them?

Back from break, Ryan commences with the slow torture of the contestants. The woman who got the least amount of votes will be eliminated first. Seacrest talks to a few. Yes, it’s pressure. Yes, I thought I did my best. Seacrest tells the top row of women that none of them got the least number of votes. We go along the bottom row – Carrie is safe. Big duh. Mikalah is next. Ryan tells her “Mikalyah – You do” followed by a long pause. I get hopeful. Birds chirp. Flowers are planted, grown, bloom, and are cleared off. Finally Seacrest says “not have the least number of votes” sparing Mikalah for now. I immediately become depressed.

Seacrest then brings up Janay and Melinda to stand next to him and almost immediately sends Janay back. Melinda is crying. She looks shocked. She can’t speak. Seacrest is lost, not really sure what to say. Melinda complains about not getting shown much earlier in the competition, and thinks it wasn’t fair.

Now, I think this is a fair gripe. At least in general it is. As I mentioned when discussing Anthony Federov, the fact that they played his story, that he had a tracehoto a traecheoto throat surgery earns him sympathy votes that others will not get. So I think that in general it is a fair gripe. But not here. Melinda, hun, you were bad last night. Bad. You don’t deserve to go on. Your nerves got the best of you, you chose a bad song, and you stunk the place up. Deal with that and go on.

Seacrest polls the judges. (Was it painful?) Randy says song choice did Melinda in and that when he watched the show he saw that her performance was pretty pitchy. Paula says the pitch was way off. Simon says at this stage you have to create a reason why people should vote for you and she didn’t.

Now it’s time for the departing performer to sing. Melinda can barely do it, though she sings better tonight than the night before. The editors keep cutting to Janay crying. She probably thinks she’s next out. If she thought twice about it, she would realize that in a double elimination night standing right next to the first person to get cut probably means you are safe for the rest of the night.

Commercials

We come back to the men onstage. Ryan plugs voting to keep the performers you like around. He talks to the men, then throws it to commercial. Again.

Commercials. Okay, you’ve come this far, here’s my Robots rant. Robin Williams is in this movie. Now, Robin Williams can be very funny. He can also be very schticky. He seems schticky here. But that’s not my main complaint. My main complaint is that he plays a robot Fender. A wise-cracking, woman chasing, partying robot named Fender. Fender. FENDER!!!!! Hello? Futurama anyone? Bender? The original wise-cracking, woman chasing, partying robot? Couldn’t the people who brought you Ice Age at least come up with an original name for the character they were ripping off? Fender? Can’t they at least try?

Dweezil is correct. Those who rip off Our Lord and Savior Matt Groening should be boojumated without recourse. He's dead to me, that Williams fella.

Back – the top row is safe. Ryan calls out the bottom row. He tells Anthony to sit down, passes over Constantine, then tells Judd and Nikko to sit down. He comes back to Constantine, telling him he can sit down now. WTF? What purpose did that serve other than to scare the carp out of Constantine? It’s down to Travis and Jared. One is going home right now, and it’s not Travis. Jared is out. He takes it far, far better than Melinda. Course, Randy says song choice and leaving it all on the stage. Paula agrees. Simon says he has nothing constructive to say. Jared sings, no better than the night before.

Commercials

Back to the women. The back line is no longer safe. Ryan reads off the names along the bottom row – all clear, and the pressure is off for this week. Now the top row. Aloha is safe. Jessica is safe. Vonzell is safe. Amanda, Sarah, Celena, not so much. Without further hesitation, Seacrest says that Sarah is out. She looks bitter. She is bitter, a bitter, bitter woman. She doesn’t say anything, but you can feel it. She comes down stage. Seacrest is rubbing her back. (Not my choice, but to each their own.) Randy says not it wasn’t her best performance and that the singers need to treat every performance like it could be your last. Paula says song choice did Sarah in, that it was a group song with no lead vocals. Simon says in previous years she would have done well and that she is young enough to do it again and this is not the end of her world. Sarah sings perfunctorily. It’s a listless, angry performance. Before she gets to the end, the rest of the women go out to give support. The song, thankfully, ends.

Commercials

Back to the men. Ryan tells the bottom row they can sit down this time. Calls the top row out and says it’s time for them to do the work. The men on the bottom row relax. Surely, AI can’t be so cruel as to bring the top row out and then boot someone from the bottom row, right? I mean, that would be incredibly vicious! Ryan runs down the songs the top row sang. Mario and Scott are first, and Seacrest tells them to sit down. David and Bo are next, and Seacrest tells them to sit down. Anwar and Joseph go last, looking extremely concerned. However, Seacrest tells THEM to sit down. When they are excused, both are confused – Joseph looking extremely puzzled. Seacrest then turns and says Judd – you’re out. Judd takes it well too. He says he had his shot, he did his best, and that’s all he could have done. Randy says the competition is tough for the men and that the public didn’t feel it like the judges did. Paula agrees with Randy, but refuses to say that she thinks it was a bad choice by the public. Rather, she says that she hates Wednesdays. Tell me why she don’t like Wednesdays, tell me why she don’t like Wednesdays. She wants to shoot the whole day down. Simon says his first impression speech again and that Judd chose a bad song. To which Paula adds “It’s a novelty song.” Novelty song? CCR? NOVELTY SONG? The last shreds of the crush I had on Paula in the 80s wither away. Judd sings, doing okay.

Commercials

We close with everyone back onstage and the usual brak brak brak (I invented that!) about voting for your favorites, watching again next week, and Seacrest being out.

So where are we? Melinda and Jared were two of my choices for the boot. While I would have kicked out Mikalah and Joseph instead of Sarah and Judd, I have no problems with Sarah and Judd going. I didn’t think either would make the final twelve. I am worried about Mikalah now. She could sneak into the final twelve and do a John Stevens. That would be bad. But that’s for another time, another summarizer. Til then, Weasel ou…

Nope. Not going for that joke. I’ll leave it for others.