Ooooh, Iyanla, I love when you sniff me!

Well, I just did what you taught me...I cried out to the Universe that I was sick of all the walkin'. When I saw that scooter, I just knew the Universe was answering me. Even my 40 lb tumor whispered, "Ooooh, Jell-o (that's my tumor's nickname for me), that looks like a mighty sweet ride". Yeah, I had to knock a little old lady out the seat, but I can't let people stand between me and what I want. And if you saw her, Iyanla, you'd know...you could tell that she was one of the unenlightened. She just didn't, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know, get it. Not like you and me, Iyanla. That chair might have belonged to her physically, but spiritually it was mine.

So, Ok, now you know I been spendin' a lot of time on the computer lately, right? So, the next thing I'm gonna ask the Universe for is a voice recognition program for my computer. Cause girlfriend, my fingers are gettin' pretty tired from all that keyin'. It's a HELL of a lotta work, ON TOP of a 3-hour a week job. And anyway, Jodi said my forearms are gettin' too cut from all that typin'.

Iyanla? You think you could get me a 3rd makeover? I think I heard Kim sayin' I look like Prince gone obese after the last one. <starts singing> Pur-ple Rain, Pur-ple Rain!

Love Ya, Mean it!