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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread -..."
snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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03-07-06, 03:16 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Where's Iyanla??" |
Uhhhhhhhh….Ok, so you know I appreciate the queen size bedroom set, right? And you know you’re like a moms to me, right? In fact, I call my mother everyday to remind her you’re the mother she never was. Uhhhhhh, Ok, so you know I’m your favorite home girl, right…well, after Allison. Well, like, uhhhhh, you know, I just have to authentically tell you I had no, like, uhhhhh, USE for that bedroom set. Queen-sized is a little too small, and in my family, we’re used to sleeping on sofas, anyway. Don’t be mad, but I traded in the bedroom set for something more useful. Cause giiiirl, all that walking around the house just beat the sh!t outta me…all that “from the fridge to the microwave and back”…and you know I’ve forgiven you for making me lug that baggage around, because you didn’t know I had that 40 lb tumor. Oh, yeah, that tumor has hair and teeth and it talks and it told me like the Voice of God, “Girl, this baggage sh!t just gotta stop!!” So let me present the OFFICIAL…<high squeaky voice> JIIIIIIIILL…Tracey Hoveround Forerunner!!! It’s been tricked out by the same people who do all of Diddy’s sh!t. <Goes into phony, upbeat “radio” voice> As you can see, it’s got a kickin’ boom box in the front for when I just wanna chill, blasting Tupac. It’s got a beautiful “Princess” bling grill, and lights to let everyone know I AM….a diva, baby. Hostess pays me for the logo placement. The pole that holds the bucket of KFC goes up & down when I wanna eat…it’s all hydraulics, baby. (presses a button, and the bucket comes down with a pneumatic hum) Iyanla, you wanna join me for some fried chicken? Don’t play, Ok? I know you love you some fried bird, because I think your @ss is bigger than mine. You got some kind of incantation or ritual for blessing my hoveround, Iyanla? Just to make sure all my rides are, uhhhhhhh, you know….safe? Love ya, Mean it!
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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