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"Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-14-05, 05:34 PM (EST)
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"Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
Since we've got an extra week before the next leg of the Race, it's not too late for a Hawkeye 10. Hope the episodes are still fresh in your mind! If not, read the scintillating summaries by ARNutz and yours truly.

Actually, this is a Hawkeye 20! Ten for each episode.


Episode 7

1. Only the Linzes and the Paolos did the sugar cane/barrel Detour in Costa Rica. Pick the Bransens, Godlewskis, and/or Weavers, and describe what they thought they'd find in those barrels.

2. On the other hand, that means the Paolos and Linzes didn't paint the wheels. What would their wheels have looked like when painted?

3. Marion Paolo told DJ that he hoped he never got married, because no woman would put up with him. What woman (real, fictional, general description, or even OT if you dare) would be a good match for DJ?

4. Why was Sharon Godlewski the only woman to swim to the buoy?

5. What was the REAL reason Tony Paolo started flailing about in the water?

6. Speaking of real reasons, why was Wally Bransen so upset that the girls hustled him out of the hotel without using the phone?

7. What outcome would you have preferred to see from that confrontation in the airport between the Weavers and DJ Paolo over the Yield?

8. What could the Godlewskis have done differently when consoling the Weavers at the go-kart track?

9. What was Tommy Linz thinking when he rear-ended Linda Weaver on the go-kart track?

10. When was the last time Tony and Marion Paolo dressed with their undies on the outside, and what was the purpose?


Episode 8

1. Wally seems to be quite the permissive parent. He had no problem with his daughters all but selling themselves as they begged for money at the casino, and he didn't object to Lauren's mooning of the Linzes. What else has he let his girls get away with?

2. How can you tell the Bransen girls apart from each other? How does Wally?

3. What went through the mind of Lauren Bransen and Brian Paolo after they embraced on the tarmac before flying loop-the-loops?

4. When was the last time Megan Linz screamed as much as she did during her flight?

5. Why didn't the officer who pulled over the Linzes ticket them?

6. What if the guard at the Grand Canyon had complied with the Weavers' wishes and given the Linzes the unabridged history of the canyon? What would the Linzes have done? What spiritual ramifications, if any, would the Weavers have suffered?

7. Name three things that are shorter in height than Rachel Weaver's shorts.

8. DJ Paolo threatened to drown Marion in the river, confident that her body wouldn't be found. How else has DJ threatened to kill Marion before, and why hasn't he done so already?

9. What were the properties of the Godlewskis and their boat that enabled them to catch and pass the Linzes en route to the houseboat?

10. Maybe we're all misunderstanding the Weavers, especially when they were shown throwing garbage at the Bransens' SUV. What were they really trying to do?



"Give me liberty . . . or a bran muffin!" --Colin Mochrie, "Whose Line"

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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8 Ryan DeMaster 11-15-05 1
 RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8 Max Headroom 11-15-05 2
 RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8 CouchTater 11-15-05 3
 RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8 Molaholic 11-15-05 4
   RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8 FlamingCactusIT 11-18-05 5

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Ryan DeMaster 228 desperate attention whore postings
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11-15-05, 01:31 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
LAST EDITED ON 11-15-05 AT 02:20 AM (EST)

Episode 7

1. Only the Linzes and the Paolos did the sugar cane/barrel Detour in Costa Rica. Pick the Bransens, Godlewskis, and/or Weavers, and describe what they thought they'd find in those barrels.

Bransen - Phil informing them that they were Philiminated due to Wally's collapse and death during the sugar cane portion.
Godlewski - One clue that would be read four different ways.
Weaver - The crazed monk that developed Dilbert's company's budget system 400 years ago.

2. On the other hand, that means the Paolos and Linzes didn't paint the wheels. What would their wheels have looked like when painted?

Crap.

3. Marion Paolo told DJ that he hoped he never got married, because no woman would put up with him. What woman (real, fictional, general description, or even OT if you dare) would be a good match for DJ?

Someone as insane as Linda Weaver without the God references every 5 seconds?

4. Why was Sharon Godlewski the only woman to swim to the buoy?

Let's break this down team by team:

Linz - Three athletic men, one asthmatic Megan. DUUUUUUUUH.
Paolo - D.J. would've swam out there and drowned Marion on the way back, thus disqualifying the team.
Weaver - The girls wouldn't have been able to pray every 5 seconds while they were swimming; Rolly, being the most normal member of his family, doesn't have to.
Bransen - Because it would have inconvenienced his daughters too much.

5. What was the REAL reason Tony Paolo started flailing about in the water?

He was embarrassed that Wally Bransen was kicking his @$$ in a physical contest, so he made it look like he was drowning as an excuse.

6. Speaking of real reasons, why was Wally Bransen so upset that the girls hustled him out of the hotel without using the phone?

Wally can actually see into the future - he knew that proper directions would spare him (and the world) the sight of the Paolos in their undies.

7. What outcome would you have preferred to see from that confrontation in the airport between the Weavers and DJ Paolo over the Yield?

For some other family to corner a single Weaver and confront them about a previous moment of @$$holishness. That, and the Weavers getting Yielded again next time.

8. What could the Godlewskis have done differently when consoling the Weavers at the go-kart track?

All four of them could have been talking over each other - you know, like they do the rest of the time.

9. What was Tommy Linz thinking when he rear-ended Linda Weaver on the go-kart track?

He didn't actually hit Linda; therefore, he was thinking "Dammit, I missed!"

10. When was the last time Tony and Marion Paolo dressed with their undies on the outside, and what was the purpose?

I'm too afraid to even consider this.


Episode 8

1. Wally seems to be quite the permissive parent. He had no problem with his daughters all but selling themselves as they begged for money at the casino, and he didn't object to Lauren's mooning of the Linzes. What else has he let his girls get away with?

Making him do damn near every single-person task when they shouldn't let his out-of-shape @$$ within 5 miles of most of them.

2. How can you tell the Bransen girls apart from each other? How does Wally?

I personally can't. Wally can, because they softly whisper their names to him every time they interact with him.

3. What went through the mind of Lauren Bransen and Brian Paolo after they embraced on the tarmac before flying loop-the-loops?

Lauren - "Dammit, why can't he be old enough yet?"
Brian - "Dammit, why can't I be old enough yet?"
(They do have 12 hours at each boring Pit Stop, after all...)

4. When was the last time Megan Linz screamed as much as she did during her flight?

The last time she was riding shotgun with Tommy.

5. Why didn't the officer who pulled over the Linzes ticket them?

Because people who are "racing other cars" in that sense don't stop to ask for directions.

6. What if the guard at the Grand Canyon had complied with the Weavers' wishes and given the Linzes the unabridged history of the canyon? What would the Linzes have done? What spiritual ramifications, if any, would the Weavers have suffered?

The Weavers would have received no spiritual ramifications, because that would have pushed the Linzes towards last, and "The last shall be first", y'know? The Linzes would have had Tommy pass some gas the Weavers' way, cracked a bunch of jokes about them, Yielded their @$$, and then been there to sing the Goodbye song after the Weavers were Philiminated as a result.

7. Name three things that are shorter in height than Rachel Weaver's shorts.

Unfortunately, Rachel Weaver's posterior is not one of them, so I'll have to think about this...*looks at items on desk*...um...that golf score pencil? this GameCube disc? my student ID card? That is, of course, assuming all three of them are laying as flat as possible

8. DJ Paolo threatened to drown Marion in the river, confident that her body wouldn't be found. How else has DJ threatened to kill Marion before, and why hasn't he done so already?

Lessee, he'd previously threatened to kill Marion (1) with a knife at the dinner table; (2) by running her over with that Wild Ride prize; (3) by burying her beneath the contents of Tony's garbage truck; and (4) by having the Mafia whack her in true Italian style. He hasn't done so already because he knows damn well that Tony would immediately kill him if he killed her.

9. What were the properties of the Godlewskis and their boat that enabled them to catch and pass the Linzes en route to the houseboat?

Their boat had the important advantage of NOT BEING RUN AGROUND BEFORE THEY LAUNCHED IT.

10. Maybe we're all misunderstanding the Weavers, especially when they were shown throwing garbage at the Bransens' SUV. What were they really trying to do?

They were trying to show the Bransens what kind of people they (the Weavers) are.

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Max Headroom 10069 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

11-15-05, 09:00 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
Episode 7

1. Only the Linzes and the Paolos did the sugar cane/barrel Detour in Costa Rica. Pick the Bransens, Godlewskis, and/or Weavers, and describe what they thought they'd find in those barrels.

Weavers - Properly sized clothing.
Bransens - A phone for Wally to use.
Godlewskis - 55 gallons of whine.

2. On the other hand, that means the Paolos and Linzes didn't paint the wheels. What would their wheels have looked like when painted?

Paolos - Smeared after Marion shoved DJ's face into them.
Linzes - Unfinished. "Hey Megan, which end of these brush thingies do we use again?"

3. Marion Paolo told DJ that he hoped he never got married, because no woman would put up with him. What woman (real, fictional, general description, or even OT if you dare) would be a good match for DJ?

Jerri Manthey. She'd eat DJ for lunch.

4. Why was Sharon Godlewski the only woman to swim to the buoy?

Think largest flotation devices...

5. What was the REAL reason Tony Paolo started flailing about in the water?

He was momentarily blinded by the glare from Wally Bransen's white belly.

6. Speaking of real reasons, why was Wally Bransen so upset that the girls hustled him out of the hotel without using the phone?

He wanted to call the office and check his messages.

7. What outcome would you have preferred to see from that confrontation in the airport between the Weavers and DJ Paolo over the Yield?

For Marion to barge in there and set the Weavers straight.

8. What could the Godlewskis have done differently when consoling the Weavers at the go-kart track?

Not made the effort in the first place.

9. What was Tommy Linz thinking when he rear-ended Linda Weaver on the go-kart track?

He wasn't thinking at all-- he was shifting around to pass gas and he accidentally hit the accelerator.

10. When was the last time Tony and Marion Paolo dressed with their undies on the outside, and what was the purpose?

I'm.so.not.going.there.

Episode 8

1. Wally seems to be quite the permissive parent. He had no problem with his daughters all but selling themselves as they begged for money at the casino, and he didn't object to Lauren's mooning of the Linzes. What else has he let his girls get away with?

Soaking him for years and years of college tuition, with more still to come.

2. How can you tell the Bransen girls apart from each other? How does Wally?

Haven't you noticed the "Hello, My name is ..." sticker each girl is wearing?

3. What went through the mind of Lauren Bransen and Brian Paolo after they embraced on the tarmac before flying loop-the-loops?

Lauren - "I never thought I'd meet a normal Paolo."
Brian - "Wow, she's hot. I should IM her after the race."

4. When was the last time Megan Linz screamed as much as she did during her flight?

In 1989, when her Bengals lost Super Bowl XXIII on a last-minute touchdown drive by the 49ers. (3-year-olds aren't known for their restraint.)

5. Why didn't the officer who pulled over the Linzes ticket them?

Could it be related to the TV camera and sound equipment pointed at the officer?

6. What if the guard at the Grand Canyon had complied with the Weavers' wishes and given the Linzes the unabridged history of the canyon? What would the Linzes have done? What spiritual ramifications, if any, would the Weavers have suffered?

The delay wouldn't have bothered the Linzes-- they never win legs anyway. The Weavers would have gotten off scot-free; pontification isn't a sin.

7. Name three things that are shorter in height than Rachel Weaver's shorts.

Certainly not Rachel's rear end! Try Colin's patience, Flo's persistence, and Kendra's racial tolerance.

8. DJ Paolo threatened to drown Marion in the river, confident that her body wouldn't be found. How else has DJ threatened to kill Marion before, and why hasn't he done so already?

DJ's all talk and no action. Remember his confessional at the end after the Paolos were Philiminated?

9. What were the properties of the Godlewskis and their boat that enabled them to catch and pass the Linzes en route to the houseboat?

As previously noted, think largest flotation devices...

10. Maybe we're all misunderstanding the Weavers, especially when they were shown throwing garbage at the Bransens' SUV. What were they really trying to do?

Cleaning out their rental vehicle prior to returning it at the airport.


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CouchTater 1046 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

11-15-05, 10:19 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
Episode 7
1. Only the Linzes and the Paolos did the sugar cane/barrel Detour in Costa Rica. Pick the Bransens, Godlewskis, and/or Weavers, and describe what they thought they'd find in those barrels.

Bransens- Something really heavy that would give Wally a heart attack picking up.

Godlewskis- The Weavers

Weavers- Mama Paolo’s lasagna and a loop recording of them all yelling at each other.

2. On the other hand, that means the Paolos and Linzes didn't paint the wheels. What would their wheels have looked like when painted?

Paolos- a crude rudimentary version of a Picasso.

Linzes- a Mickey Mouse cartoon

3. Marion Paolo told DJ that he hoped he never got married, because no woman would put up with him. What woman (real, fictional, general description, or even OT if you dare) would be a good match for DJ?

Murphy Brown- she’d knock him down a peg or two.

4. Why was Sharon Godlewski the only woman to swim to the buoy?

Umm… she’s the man of the Godlewski sister family.

5. What was the REAL reason Tony Paolo started flailing about in the water?

He lost his swim suit and didn’t want to come back because of shrinkage.

6. Speaking of real reasons, why was Wally Bransen so upset that the girls hustled him out of the hotel without using the phone?

Because, with three girls he’s spent the last 10 years never being able to use the phone and he finally snapped!

7. What outcome would you have preferred to see from that confrontation in the airport between the Weavers and DJ Paolo over the Yield?

A lightening bolt would have come from the sky and knocked the Weavers across the room.

8. What could the Godlewskis have done differently when consoling the Weavers at the go-kart track?
Not consoled them, they obviously didn’t deserve it.
9. What was Tommy Linz thinking when he rear-ended Linda Weaver on the go-kart track?


Whoa, now she’s gonna give me the snake eye, better get outta here.

10. When was the last time Tony and Marion Paolo dressed with their undies on the outside, and what was the purpose?

When they marched in the Italian section of the Gay Pride parade in NYC.

Episode 8
1. Wally seems to be quite the permissive parent. He had no problem with his daughters all but selling themselves as they begged for money at the casino, and he didn't object to Lauren's mooning of the Linzes. What else has he let his girls get away with?


Dragging him on this show to begin with and turning him into a DAW.

2. How can you tell the Bransen girls apart from each other? How does Wally?

I can’t. Wally just calls a name and who ever answers, that’s who he deals with at the moment.

3. What went through the mind of Lauren Bransen and Brian Paolo after they embraced on the tarmac before flying loop-the-loops?

Brian- Oh Lauren, you are sooo hot! Do you wanna play lets be Demi and Ashton?

Lauren- Brian, you’re really cute and fun to hug, but I don’t know if I can deal with Marion on a regular basis.

4. When was the last time Megan Linz screamed as much as she did during her flight?

When the boys stole her FRIDAY, SATURDAY and SUNDAY panties and hung them from the flag pole in the front of the house.

5. Why didn't the officer who pulled over the Linzes ticket them?

I don’t know, three young guys and a young girl stopped on the side of the road is very suspicious. He was probably a closet DAW and was hoping to be on TV.

6. What if the guard at the Grand Canyon had complied with the Weavers' wishes and given the Linzes the unabridged history of the canyon? What would the Linzes have done? What spiritual ramifications, if any, would the Weavers have suffered?

First, the Linzes would have said ok thanks and split anyway mid sentence. For doing that, the Weavers will be forced to live in Sodom and Gomorrah, AKA San Francisco, for 7 years.

7. Name three things that are shorter in height than Rachel Weaver's shorts.

1,2,3- nothing really, was she wearing any, really?

8. DJ Paolo threatened to drown Marion in the river, confident that her body wouldn't be found. How else has DJ threatened to kill Marion before, and why hasn't he done so already?

By making her eat her own lasagna for 2 straight hours, by being really nice, which causes a heart attack from the shock of it, by using a megaphone every time he screams at her causing her head to explode.

Why He hasn’t done it already? Cause she’d kill him first.

9. What were the properties of the Godlewskis and their boat that enabled them to catch and pass the Linzes en route to the houseboat?

Except for Sharon, the Godlewskis are all women and therefore have more body fat, which floats better. Also, the Linzes got the boat meant for the Paolos, which had a body weighed down by cement tied to it, arranged for by the Weavers.

10. Maybe we're all misunderstanding the Weavers, especially when they were shown throwing garbage at the Bransens' SUV. What were they really trying to do?

They were trying to show the Bransens how to play the Christian way, by sharing their food, oh, umm… garbage.

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Molaholic 8822 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

11-15-05, 08:29 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
LAST EDITED ON 11-15-05 AT 09:23 PM (EST)

Posting before reading. Anyone who copies me will be sued. Even if that means I have to contact a scheister lawyer.

Episode 7
1. Only the Linzes and the Paolos did the sugar cane/barrel Detour in Costa Rica. Pick the Bransens, Godlewskis, and/or Weavers, and describe what they thought they'd find in those barrels.
The Weavers thought they'd find monkeys. Evil, flying monkeys. Evil, Democrat flying monkeys.

2. On the other hand, that means the Paolos and Linzes didn't paint the wheels. What would their wheels have looked like when painted?
A Rorschach test painted by evil flying Democrat monkeys high on LSD and living in Costa Rican barrels.

3. Marion Paolo told DJ that he hoped he never got married, because no woman would put up with him. What woman (real, fictional, general description, or even OT if you dare) would be a good match for DJ?
Either Lucrecia Borga or Lizzy Borden.

4. Why was Sharon Godlewski the only woman to swim to the buoy?
She thought the clue read "Swim to the boy", and believed this would be her chance to score.

5. What was the REAL reason Tony Paolo started flailing about in the water?
That double-stuffed 12-inch Subway® Italian sandwich he gulped down on the beach.

6. Speaking of real reasons, why was Wally Bransen so upset that the girls hustled him out of the hotel without using the phone?
He still had 15 minutes left on his sex-line calling card.

7. What outcome would you have preferred to see from that confrontation in the airport between the Weavers and DJ Paolo over the Yield?
Slash. Blood. Guts.

8. What could the Godlewskis have done differently when consoling the Weavers at the go-kart track?
Told them, "Why the #### didn't you pray for the sand to run out twice as fast as it should have?"

9. What was Tommy Linz thinking when he rear-ended Linda Weaver on the go-kart track?
PG13 monitor prevented responce.

10. When was the last time Tony and Marion Paolo dressed with their undies on the outside, and what was the purpose?
Funny thing, that's their normal practice. Just another one of those wild-and-crazy New Yhark things.


Episode 8
1. Wally seems to be quite the permissive parent. He had no problem with his daughters all but selling themselves as they begged for money at the casino, and he didn't object to Lauren's mooning of the Linzes. What else has he let his girls get away with?
Rifling through his wallet, using his credit card to order oobie-jobs, swimming less than an hour after eating, running with sissors ...

2. How can you tell the Bransen girls apart from each other? How does Wally?
Wait a second for a minute -- you mean there are different Bransen sisters?!

3. What went through the mind of Lauren Bransen and Brian Paolo after they embraced on the tarmac before flying loop-the-loops?
Lauren: "Gosh, that planey thingy sure did move fasty!"
Brian: "Hey -- I touched a boobie! I'm no longer a virgin!"

4. When was the last time Megan Linz screamed as much as she did during her flight?
Well, let's see ... there was that time she stuck her index finger in the pencil sharpener because she spent her manicure money.

5. Why didn't the officer who pulled over the Linzes ticket them?
Obviously, he's a DAW.

6. What if the guard at the Grand Canyon had complied with the Weavers' wishes and given the Linzes the unabridged history of the canyon? What would the Linzes have done? What spiritual ramifications, if any, would the Weavers have suffered?
a) EPBvM would have included every single bloody word, since it would have been more interesting than what we really saw. b) Wondered why nobody thought of turning off the water hose before it dug that big ol' hole. c) The Weavers are The Chosen. Whatever they do is fine and dandy with The Big Guy.

7. Name three things that are shorter in height than Rachel Weaver's shorts.
1) a neutron. 2) a quark. c) Dubya's IQ.

8. DJ Paolo threatened to drown Marion in the river, confident that her body wouldn't be found. How else has DJ threatened to kill Marion before, and why hasn't he done so already?
He told her that he was madly in love with Rachel Rabinowitz, and was going to convert to make her happy. But it turns out she was just out for his money and since he's been Philimanated...

9. What were the properties of the Godlewskis and their boat that enabled them to catch and pass the Linzes en route to the houseboat?
Those oobies have secret jet outlets.

10. Maybe we're all misunderstanding the Weavers, especially when they were shown throwing garbage at the Bransens' SUV. What were they really trying to do?
Baptism by Gladbag.

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FlamingCactusIT 452 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

11-18-05, 04:49 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Hawkeye 10, Eps. 7 and 8"
7. Name three things that are shorter in height than Rachel Weaver's shorts.

Certaintly not Phil's man oobies.


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