The Red Bean Baby Blues
Previously on TAR
The Panama Canal, a 50 mile long marvel of engineering that connects the Pacific with the Atlantic Oceans was the fifth pit stop in TAR. The Godlewski family, dressed like bag ladies with all their clothes on, arrived last in a non-elimination leg, the first of several predetermined NELs. Will they rebound from being stripped of cash and bags? Will they have to beg for money? Will they have to sell their souls to the Weavers for a little cash?
And the Race is ON again
The Paolo family, the first to arrive are the first to leave at 8:22 PM. The oldest son reads the clue: Travel to san Jose, Costa Rica.
The teams will travel more than 600 miles on one of 3 charter buses leaving 30 minutes apart, on a first come, first served basis. Once there, they will drive 35 miles to Volcan Poas, a 1,000 foot active volcano to find their next clue.
Momma Paolo: I think the boys are appreciating me a little more.
We are treated to a montage of bickering Paolos.
The Weaver family departs at 9:11 PM, with a word of prayer, of course. The family claims to be above the comments from other teams because they are Christians. Christ stands nearby and shakes his head, but they don't recognize him.
The Bransen family departs at 9:16 PM, with $74 and a tube of Ben Gay for this leg of the race. Dad feels like the outsider of the group, as he slathers on the ointment. Well, being an old fudd instead of cute, young, and perky might set you apart from the pack, Dad.
The Linz family, the 4th to depart, leaves at 9:17 PM. Wonder boy hopes that the other teams don't figure out they have a one in five chance of winning a million dollars. Hopefully, there are no other math geniuses in this race who can figure that one out.
The Weavers complain when the Linz family get a taxi before they do. Jesus heaves a heavy sigh.
The Gaghan family is 5th to depart at 9:23 PM. Billy teases Carissa they will have to run the whole way to Costa Rica. The father says they could use a leg with some good luck.
The Weavers are shown getting into a taxi. Jesus is traveling in another direction, so he leaves.
The Gaghan's see the "powder blue team" just getting a taxi after they do. The powder blues win up cramming themselves into a sub compact car, instead of a nice mini van taxi. I hope they didn't pay much for that ride.
The Bus Departures
The Paolo family gets bus #1 at 11:30 AM. They go upstairs to disappear so Team Florida won't see them. They help the Linz family find the ticket for bus #1 at 11:30 AM. The oldest son tells us the Florida Team has been rude to everyone, so they are on their own. They would all like to get rid of them.
The Godlewskis are the last to depart at 9:45 PM, with no money. They will have to panhandle for money, but the first guys they ask don't have money, only love. Sounds like a cheap bar pickup line, if you ask me. The ladies don't stick around for the love, and they find someone with money to help them out. They have $21 for the taxi ride.
The Gaghans will leave on bus #2 at 12:00 PM. The Bransens are on bus #3, leaving at 12:30 PM and they are bummed at being on the last bus. The ladies in pink are also on bus #3 at 12:30 PM. The Weavers are on bus #2 leaving at 12:00 PM. The LIP get some money from the Weaver family.
The Linzs and the Paolos work together to find Volcan Poas. Momma Gaghan is worried about keeping her kids near her in Costa Rica. Everyone is trying to find Public Parking where the vans are parked and waiting. The Weaver family is praying again.
All that effort to find the Volcan Paos doesn't pay off for the Linzs and the Paolos, because the other teams catch up with them and there is bunching. All of them will have to wait until the next morning when the park opens up, then they all make a run for it.
The teams must travel 17 miles to find Doka Estates, a coffee plantation. Caution - Yield ahead.
The Linzs are in 1st place, the Gaghans are 2nd, the Bransens are 3rd, the Paolos are 4th, the Weavers are 5th, and the Godlewskis are last as they open clue envelopes.
The teams leave in this order: Linz, Weaver, Gaghan, Paolo, Godlewski, and Bransen.
The Linz family discuss yielding the Florida team. The Paolos drive around the Weavers as the widowed mother and kids stop for directions to the coffee plantation. Paolo quote: "Go, so we can yield them."
Phil explains the Yield.
Teams can only exercise a Yield once during a race - yada, yada, hourglass, sand, make fun of family photos.
The Paolos choose to yield Team Florida, with high fives from the other teams.
Find the one red caribbean bean in 800 pounds of coffee beans, then they will receive a clue from the plantation manager.
Momma Paolo is the first to start looking for the magic bean. Momma Gaghan, Meghan Linz, Trish Godlewski all join in the fun searching for the bean. The Godlewski sisters cheer as Trish finds it first.
Clue: Drive to the town of Jaco, 94 miles into a local surf shop and find Xavier for the next clue.
Momma Paolo finds the red bean in her pile.
The Weavers find out the "Cleavers" have yielded them. They start the hourglass, then turn their attention to the family pictures. They laugh at the garbage truck in the background of the Paolo family. Hey, my dad drove a garbage truck part time. He found some great stuff that peeps threw away. Once there was a gold watch he sold for $250. Anyway, the Weavers stand around biting their nails as they claim they don't care. Yeah, right. Just then, Jesus arrives with a bullwhip. Hmmm, don't we all wish.
Meghan finds the bean in her pile, returning to her brothers with the clue. The Weavers make fun of more pictures of the other teams. Jesus has turned this time over to his adversary, who has a firm grip on the Florida team.
A Bransen girl finds her bean, but Tammy Gaghan is still frantically looking. At this point, I'm wondering if she is color blind, or just extremely tired.
The Paolos and the Linzs are on the road again. The brothers Linz award sister Meghan her very own balls just for finding a little red bean.
The Weavers yield ends, and they choose Rachel to find the elusive red bean. Mom reminds her to pray.
The Godlewskis stop to ask where the Surf Shop is, letting everyone else move on.
The youngest Paolo son asks a slothful bar patron where the Surf Shop is, when his older brother goes into extreme spasms of impatience, even for him.
The Gaghans look on in disbelief as the Weavers find the red bean. The Weavers just want to beat the NY team.
The Bransens find the Surf Shop and Xavier.
A detour is a choice between 2 tasks. This one will be Relic or Ripe. In Relic, teams make their way to a rain forest and must transverse 6 precarious road bridges while searching for 4 relics of the Maya civilization. Once they deliver their relics to an archeologist, they recieve their next clue.
In Ripe, the teams must gather 15 bushels of bananas and load them onto a hanging track. Using a locally devised pulley system, they have to bring the bananas to the distribution center where a foreman will give them the next clue.
The Bransens decide to do Relic, while the Paolos do Ripe. The Gaghans have finally found the bean, and they invite a native who can give them directions to ride with them. The Godlewskis choose relic, then get into a snit over driving and change drivers.
Sharon G. (former driver, now in back seat): Michele thinks she knows everything, so she can drive!
Michele (at the wheel): No, I DON'T!
The Paolos arrive at the banana plantation, surprised that no one else is there. Getting out of the van, the youngest son complains his legs are killing him. Papa Paolo lifts the heavy banana bunches, while his sons complain they can't do it. All 4 Paolos lift the first bunch up to attach it to a chain.
Bransen girl: Do we even know what a relic is?
Dad: It's like an artifact, you know, a little thing from the past.
Look no further, girls. Your father is a genuine relic.
The Linzs follow the Bransens to Rainmaker. The Bransen girls notice the "Beware of Snakes" sign. Thankfully, they don't squeal.
Papa relic can't go fast on the swinging bridge. The Linz family follows close behind.
The Weavers find the Surf Shop and their next clue, deciding to do Relics.
The Paolos are on 7 of 15 bushels of bananas. The 2 boys pick up a bushel, but dad shows his strength by picking up one all by hisself. Mom helps put the bananas on the pulley system.
The Bransens finally discover the relic motherlode, with the Linzs following them.
The Gaghans arrive at the Surf Shop with the local still in tow. After receiving their clue, they say Gracias and Adios. I hope he has a way back home.
The Paolos complete the task with the oldest son expressing his appreciations for his father's strength in doing his job.
The teams must drive approximately 20 miles to the next Pit Stop in the town of Quepos, where the last team to arrive may be eliminated.
The Bransens carry their relics to get their next clue, telling the Godlewski sisters not to stop until the end for the relics. The Linz family arrives with their relics to receive their next clue, reading it in the van to save time.
The Weaver family arrives at the relic site. The Godlewskis find the relics and get their clue. The Weavers return with their relics before the Gaghans find the place. The Gaghans arrive as the Weavers are leaving. Mom Weaver complains of tireness. She's not a young teenager. She gets the van stuck in some mud. The kids try to push it out, but the wheels are spinning in the muck.
Instant Poll: What would Jesus do?
a. Throw mom under the tires to get more traction and drive off without her.
b. Give mom some PMS meds and a glass of water.
c. Do an exorcism on mom.
d. Put on a Superman costume, pick up the van with one finger, and fly it out of the muck.
Well, Jesus isn't there, because he doesn't have time for pseudo Christians who give him a bad rep, so Momma Weaver has a little breakdown.
Mom: You guys, I can't do this!
Daughter: Calm down, Mom.
All of a sudden, Mom turns the wheel and drives the van out of the rut. The kids get back into the van, and the mom apologizes.
The Gaghans bring the relics in for their clue. They hope someone else has gotten lost on the way to the Pit Stop.
The Paolo family runs for it with the Bransens and Linzs close behind. Mama Paolo is struggling to keep up. A Linz brother carries Meghan on his back.
The Paolos arrive on the mat first with Mama proclaiming she's done and she can't do this anymore. Papa say, yes, you can.
Phil tells them they are #1, invoking a crushing hug from Papa. each of them has won a wild ride from the Wild Bean Cafe - either a Segway, a Vespa, a Jet ski, or an ATV. Oh, boy, another huge hug from Papa for poor Phil.
The Linz family arrives in 2nd place, the Bransens are 3rd, and the Godlewski sisters are excited to be Team #4.
During the ride to the pit stop, father Gaghan gives his family a pep talk on being winners.
The Weavers find the park, and run to the finish line, coming in 5th place.
The Gaghans, ever hopeful, park and run for it. Phil regrets to tell them they have been eliminated. The parents kiss the kids and tell them they did well, while poor little Carissa tries not to cry. It's heartbreaking to watch, and I cry. I look over and Mr. Silvergirl is wiping the corners of his eyes. It's one of the reasons I love him so much, so please don't think he's a sissy. Phil tells Carissa she is the youngest person ever to come this far in The Amazing Race. Carissa is still bravely blinking back tears. The dad hopes it has been a positive experience for his kids. Who knows? Maybe Carissa will be a TAR contestant about 10 years from now. One thing is for sure. I won't forget this elimination any time soon, so I'm making Carissa an honorary mermaid.
<[b>Next time on TAR: Tony Paolo can't keep his head above water. Wally Bransen loses patience with his daughters.