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"Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
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Estee 56953 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 06:15 PM (EST)
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"Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
As we're seeing, some Christians would like to -- what's a good word here? -- evict? Excommunicate? Philiminate? -- the First Family Of Constant Prayer. Because let's face it: when you've been raised to trust only your family and your deity, the rest of the congregation is there to be taken advantage of. Yes, the Weavers would never commit a sin. They can't. No, really. They literally can't. No act is a sin unless it's made against someone else in their faith. Nothing done to a heathen counts because their deity was going to punish those sinners anyway and the Weavers are just helping out in advance. And since they're the only four people in their faith and they'd never sin against themselves, the Weavers are automatically sin-free saints.

(Actually, Maybe that's why so many Christians want them out. Jealousy.)

So -- of all the world's religions, active or defunct, which ones would be willing to give the Weavers a new home? They're loyal. They're devoted. They'll have no problems with human sacrifice because no one outside the family can be considered human.

For starters, I think the most radical religious elements in Al-Qaeda would be happy to give the Weavers a home. Seriously. They both look down on all people who don't believe as they do. They both say they're only trying to help the world find the right path, no matter what the consequences are. They share a belief in the fundamental non-reality of non-believers. And with his innocent appearance and 'I'm just walking, officer' demeanor, wouldn't Rolly make a perfect suicide bomber?

Next up?

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Hmm Rhyn 11-02-05 1
   RE: Hmm Draco Malfoy 11-03-05 3
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... Cygnus X1 11-02-05 2
   RE: Religions that would welcome th... HistoryDetective 11-03-05 4
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... Lisa0116 11-03-05 5
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... pumpkinqueen 11-03-05 6
   RE: Religions that would welcome th... Estee 11-03-05 7
       RE: Religions that would welcome th... Lisa0116 11-07-05 8
           RE: Religions that would welcome th... Estee 11-07-05 9
               RE: Religions that would welcome th... Lisa0116 11-08-05 11
               RE: Religions that would welcome th... pumpkinqueen 11-09-05 13
   RE: Religions that would welcome th... kathliam 11-08-05 12
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... 1derfool 11-08-05 10
   RE: Religions that would welcome th... lydia 11-09-05 14
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... TeamJoisey 11-09-05 15
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... dabo 11-11-05 16
   RE: Religions that would welcome th... pumpkinqueen 11-11-05 18
       RE: Religions that would welcome th... dabo 11-12-05 19
 RE: Religions that would welcome th... MattyMax 11-11-05 17

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Rhyn 524 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 06:25 PM (EST)
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1. "Hmm"
Maybe Heaven's Gate? They just might be wacky enough!
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Draco Malfoy 10525 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 07:25 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: Hmm"
But I'd bet they're afraid of applesauce.


"Speaking of Draco, he has serious issues, still, the little snot." - kathliam

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
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11-02-05, 08:46 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
The Shakers. That way, Rolly and the girls would be protected from that icky stuff having to do with the opposite sex.


Of course, first thing to go would be Rachel's incredible shrinking shorts.

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HistoryDetective 9516 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 08:28 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Great suggestion, Cygnus! That way, none of them will procreate.


Sigs by Syren and Seana. Bouncie by IceCat. One and Only WeinerGuy.
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"We must scrupulously guard the civil rights and civil liberties of all our citizens, whatever their background. We must remember that any oppression, any injustice, any hatred, is a wedge designed to attack our civilization." --- Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 9 January 1940

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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 01:58 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Jonestown?? Scientology?? So many to choose from.....The Manson Family???
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pumpkinqueen 220 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 07:58 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
hmmm, i wonder if moral Maggie (from BB) is looking for new members--seems like a pretty good fit to me!


an arkiegrl original 2005

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Estee 56953 desperate attention whore postings
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11-03-05, 09:58 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
I said religion, not cult.

Other than that, best spiritual match so far.

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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
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11-07-05, 09:45 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
One man's religion is another man's cult......


Just a thought.

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Estee 56953 desperate attention whore postings
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11-07-05, 03:27 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Rephrase: do you want to give Maggie a potential excuse for declaring her half-million to be legally tax-free?
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Lisa0116 688 desperate attention whore postings
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11-08-05, 03:12 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
>Rephrase: do you want to
>give Maggie a potential excuse
>for declaring her half-million to
>be legally tax-free?

You have a point.....

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pumpkinqueen 220 desperate attention whore postings
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11-09-05, 12:39 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
do you want to give Maggie a potential excuse for declaring her half-million to be legally tax-free?

good point, although she is such a wonderful person she wouldn't mind paying taxes--after all she is going to give all the money away since she wasn't in it for the money

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kathliam 3669 desperate attention whore postings
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11-08-05, 06:26 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
LAST EDITED ON 11-08-05 AT 06:29 PM (EST)

The rampant hypocrisy exhibited by the Weavers ('we're Christians and above all that, wonder how much they paid for their oobies, don't they look silly in front of a garbage truck) would make them excellent disciples of Maggot.

etf: darn enter key

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1derfool 185 desperate attention whore postings
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11-08-05, 01:19 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
I'd think almost any religion would welcome them if they win the race. Think about it -- 10% tithe is a neat sum of money, who'd turn it down. That's assuming the Weavers are still True Christians in the 'real' sense of the word if they win and do give their 10%.
The question is though - would any religion want to keep them around once the check clears?
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lydia 109 desperate attention whore postings
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11-09-05, 06:32 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
I think the Kingdom of Self, would be a good one, or Secular Humanism would be another . . .no creeds, or standards, no Supreme Being to answer to for their "actions which speak louder than words" persona as modeled by Mother Weaver
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TeamJoisey 3556 desperate attention whore postings
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11-09-05, 06:35 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Didn't I see them last week at St. Colin's?


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dabo 26467 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-05, 02:26 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show.

SMILES ARE FREE

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pumpkinqueen 220 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-05, 10:14 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
pack up the babies, grab the old ladies, everyone goes, everyone knows Brother Love's show--thanks dabo, now that song is going to be stuck in my head until i find that Neil Diamond cd

i actually think that probably hits the nail on the head for the Weavers--well, not exactly, but something similiar.


an arkiegrl original 2005

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dabo 26467 desperate attention whore postings
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11-12-05, 07:36 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Starting soft and slow
Like a small earthquake
And when he lets go
Half the valley shakes


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MattyMax 515 desperate attention whore postings
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11-11-05, 08:55 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Religions that would welcome the Weavers."
Well, I think that they could be OK Calvinists. (I don't know what Calvinists are like today, but I'm thinking about Colonial times)

It doesn't matter if you're nice to anybody else. It's all just predetermined. Divine Grace. And feel free to judge anyone else, you're pretty sure they're just going to end up in hell. God and Jesus are on your side, but not anyone else's.

On this topic, though. I love the Weavers. I love how they are the only team left with real kids, and they really obnoxious. I love how they're dicks to everyone else, I love how the kids were really mean to the 'Desperate Housewives' when they were trying to be nice to them at the race track. But at the same time, they're to only team with no in-fighting.

God bless the Weavers. I hope they win.

MattyM

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