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"SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
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samiam 5976 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

06-13-01, 03:31 PM (EST)
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"SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
LAST EDITED ON 06-13-01 AT 03:42 PM (EST)

The stars are quite loud tonight
their sharp crystal giggling
shatters a nice, numb sleep
They whistle and sigh
impossible to ignore
And so I stand in the swaying grass
Listening.
The pristine flirts are teasing me
making promises they will not keep
of sweet, shining blackness
and alarm clocks that never ring
But dawn is right on schedule
and the stars run away
They shift into a lavender dream memory
Leaving me standing in the field
feeling stupid
with tall wet grass
Sticking to my pajamas

-lkb 1991

It's old, but I haven't written poetry in a long time. I have one other that I might submit that's more recent, but I'll wait a while
Edited because I missed a typo the first time around.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk Drive My Car 06-13-01 1
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk dabo 06-13-01 2
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk Lisapooh 06-13-01 3
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk ItzLisa 06-13-01 4
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk mistofleas 06-13-01 5
   RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk samiam 06-13-01 7
       RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk SherpaDave 06-13-01 9
           RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk samiam 06-13-01 10
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk dangerkitty 06-13-01 6
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk volmel 06-13-01 8
   RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk Monkeyboy 06-13-01 11
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk Kismet 06-16-01 12
 RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk darbygrl 07-06-01 13

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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 03:37 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
I loved this.
Lots of senses.

" sharp crystal giggling"

Loved that line!!!!!!

Really nice sam.
Isn't this fun?
Thanks Kis

EBug

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dabo 26643 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 03:40 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
>They shift into a lavender dream
>memory

Wow. This is a very nice poem, and that one line there in particular is excellent. I'm touched by this one, still trying to gather its potential multiple layers of meaning, most excellent my friend. Thank you for sharing this.

"If the race of man should be left naked upon a desert island, we should become extinct in six weeks. A few individuals might linger, but in a year would become worse than monkeys." (Samuel Butler, "Erewhon")

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Lisapooh 12664 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 04:06 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
SAM!!!! This is awesome! I love how you did this. You better put the other one up. Honestly Sam - this is so so good!
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ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 04:15 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Sam, what beautiful imagery! Thanks for posting it!

****************************************

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mistofleas 8043 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 04:19 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
>The pristine flirts are teasing me
making promises they will not keep

--I really like this image. Calling stars "prisine flirts", very nice.

>Leaving me standing in the field
>feeling stupid
>with tall wet grass
>Sticking to my pajamas

--I don't know why but this makes me feel all happy and silly. Waking from a wonderfully "lucid" dream only to find that you're wet and alone in a field, but at least you have your pajamas on!!

Thanks, samiam...I really like this one.

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samiam 5976 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 05:38 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Yeah, it would be a different category if I woke up naked

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SherpaDave 8325 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 05:52 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Heyyyyy... yeahhhhh... now that I think about it and considering the folks who regularly inhabit these boards, how did this contest open without an Erotica category?


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samiam 5976 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 06:01 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Too messy.

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dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 05:08 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Wow! Love it, samiam! All the senses, images, colors, the completion of it...nice piece!


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volmel 362 desperate attention whore postings
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06-13-01, 05:46 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Sammi, I really liked this. You know, reading this I could almost smell the way the night smells in the summer. All fresh and still. Thanks for sharing it. Very good.

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Monkeyboy 1224 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

06-13-01, 09:05 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
I do like SamIam....I would like her in a car,
I beleive I like her in the bar....

Nice classic poetry...very implicit and sensual!

But...where's the rhymes??? (Just kidding!)
Good job Sammi!

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Kismet 802 desperate attention whore postings
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06-16-01, 08:07 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
Liked this one Sami. Everyone said everything I would have, and I wasn't going to respond until I saw it's almost page three status. This is one of the one's I completely missed so I bet Im not the only one. Bumping just in case.

Kismet

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darbygrl 293 desperate attention whore postings
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07-06-01, 09:06 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: SSC (PY) Sleepwalk"
hook, line and sinker! You got me on this one. Love the last line.

<>

darbygrl

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