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janethappygirl 13 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 01:07 PM (EST) "Content " Has anyone noticed that the subjects for the Starting Over contestants on the website are petty issues? I am turning 50 in wks and struggle with the empty nest. Not just the basic empty nest either. My eldest son is on his second tour in Iraq and my youngest son lives a lifestyle I disapprove of. I struggle to get through the day all the while beating myself up over what I could've done different that my children would not play with danger such as alcohol. I struggle with the safety of my grown children and the emptiness of my purpose. I always thought my purpose in life was for my children and my precious husband, but I am lost now. I am reading the Purpose Filled Life and although it is an excellent book, so far, it isn't practical for daily living. I understand the roll that God has in my life and am truly grateful for His assistance in all I have been faced with but I am looking for coping skills to survive my grown children and their life choices. "Empty Nest" is very empty and it is very lonely.   Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Content iamforreal 10-18-05 1    RE: Content sneakpeek 10-18-05 2  RE: Content Cyahd 10-18-05 3    RE: Content Sharon_L 10-18-05 4        RE: Content GreenSideUp 10-18-05 5            RE: Content Sharon_L 10-18-05 7                RE: Content HistoryBuff 10-18-05 9                    RE: Content iamforreal 10-18-05 11                        RE: Content HistoryBuff 10-18-05 12                        RE: Content my turn 10-18-05 13                        RE: Content bentherdunthat 10-19-05 17            RE: Content janethappygirl 10-18-05 8                RE: Content GreenSideUp 10-18-05 10  RE: Content yogabrat 10-18-05 6    RE: Content my turn 10-18-05 14        RE: Content janethappygirl 10-18-05 15  RE: Content susang 10-19-05 16    RE: Content dgibson 10-19-05 18

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iamforreal 117 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 01:13 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Content " I am struck by your comments...wow.... *sigh* and am feeling the same way... devoted myself to marriage and kids for 20 years, found out the marriage ENDED.. so... I have been struggling as well with a sense of purpose... hang in there.... Perhaps find a way to give to someone or something... giving is how we get... Peace, s   Top

sneakpeek 120 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 01:18 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Content " You need to stay busy. I went nuts when my kids left and I was able to retire from my job. I was only 50. I spent four years being in a rut. I started to do some volunteer work and now I am addicted to it. Go to a school or go to the food bank in your area. I started at the senior center. I spent so much time worrying about my grown kids and there was nothing I could do to protect them anymore. My husband owns his own business and I had nothing. I kept thinking I needed to go back to work - but I'm glad I didn't. It's nice to be able to only work when I want to.   Top

Cyahd 78 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-18-05, 01:42 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Content " Just a reminder.....the issues are not "petty" for those going through them. On a personal note though to you....please don't beat yourself up over what you should've could've done. Love your kids for who they are, not who you wish they would be. More importantly....love you! My prayers go out to you. Cyahd   Top

Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-18-05, 02:19 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Content " LAST EDITED ON 10-18-05 AT 02:26 PM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 10-18-05 AT 02:25 PM (EST) Maybe we should be grateful many of the hg's issues are petty. The pettier, the better, since I don't believe either coaches are equipped or willing to take on serious issues. The stupid exercises tell me that. Take a recovering prostitute and make her play games on the street? nah... Simple fact is, it's not a place for anyone with life-altering issues or deep problems. Period. SOH is a great place for the Lisa types who have nothing better to do and would be far too threatened working on her problems with a genuine professional. Best wishes to you and your family. I have two sons and cannot imagine them serving time in Iraq. Sorry, forgot to add, Empty Nest Syndrome is the pits. I thought I was prepared but ended up I was blindsided by emotions that hit me like a rock. What I want to tell you is that mine dissipated slowly....but surely. What didn't help were people joking about it---ermm..sorta like menopause. Take care, ~Sharon   Top

GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-18-05, 02:35 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Content " LAST EDITED ON 10-18-05 AT 02:35 PM (EST) Yikes, I hardly think cancer, getting over the deaths of your children, or getting off welfare are petty. We need to remember in life that people will not always do what we want them to do. Our children are adults. What they do is not always done with their parents in mind. It wouldn't be healthy anyway.   Top

Sharon_L 260 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-18-05, 02:54 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Content " >LAST EDITED ON 10-18-05 >AT 02:35 PM (EST) > >Yikes, I hardly think cancer, getting >over the deaths of your >children, or getting off welfare >are petty. All quite serious, yes. But my point is none of the really life-altering issues will be addressed to any significant degree. Instead, the coaches will veil them with ongoing silliness, aka, 'exercises/assignments'. (Allison needs to get out of there, and get out fast.)   Top

HistoryBuff 7 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 03:14 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Content " I couldn't agree more, Sharon! This is television entertainment, not real-life therapy. Life-altering issues can require months, if not years, of professional therapy - not 6-8 weeks of so-called "life coaching". So, of course, the producers are going to weed out women with more complex issues from their "casting calls". (And isn't it interesting that's what they're called? Just as though they're looking for women to be "cast" in certain roles. Hmm?) I also agree with your assessment of the coaches' professional training. I mean, come on, has anyone looked at Rhonda's CV? She has a B.A. in Marketing, just like the mailroom clerk in my office. At least Iyanla has legitimately serious academic credentials. And, once you cut past her innate drama, I do think she has substantial guidance to offer. Rhonda, I've come to feel, is nothing more than a celebrity wannabe who has parlayed her tragic personal family history into a career. Sorry about all that. . .I'm stepping off my soapbox now!   Top

iamforreal 117 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 04:00 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Content " history buff, What tragic circumstances did Rhonda overcome? Pray tell.   Top

HistoryBuff 7 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 04:26 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Content " When she was in her teens, her father shot her mother to death in front of her and then committed suicide. She has said that she attempted suicide several times during the ensuing years until she decided life is a choice - she could choose to continue to be haunted by her past or put it behind her and choose happiness as a goal.   Top

my turn 2 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 04:26 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Content " Hey I had read somewhere, Rhonda's book,I think...that her father murdered her mother right in front of her. Awful, I didn't realize that she had no psych training, but the school of hard knocks does prepare us for some compassion. My turn   Top

bentherdunthat 518 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 10-19-05, 12:57 PM (EST) 17. "RE: Content " Just adding on here...she also was in an abusive marriage and she is a recovering alcoholic. Rhonda's had some issues. So has Iyanla.   Top

janethappygirl 13 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 02:58 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Content " I didn't mean that greensideup...I meant the subjects that are listed for future contestants on the website   Top

GreenSideUp 274 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 10-18-05, 03:47 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Content " ooops, my bad.   Top

yogabrat 37 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 10-18-05, 02:49 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Content " Janet, I found that once I got over the sadness of not being "hands on" mom anymore, I completely enjoy my nest. It isn't empty. It's full of my stuff. This can be a wonderful time in your life. Pat yourself on the back for raising your kids and then start taking care of yourself. Doing something for someone else is a great way to get over your own sadness. There are kids out there who would love to have you volunteer at their school or tutor them in a library or be in charge of their cub scout group. Your skills are still needed, just in a different way. I wish you all the best as you enter this new phase of your life.   Top

my turn 2 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 04:30 PM (EST) 14. "RE: Content " I think that this time without the children in the house should be used by you and your husband (if there is one) Otherwise spend the time readjusting... for example paint one of the rooms in your house a bold new color. I have tried to find what I like now that my children are gone. (They truly aren't gone, as they like in town, so I still see them.) This time is for you and to realize what makes you happy. Don't try and rush it though, this is a grieving process. It will take time, but hang in there and may God bless you, Always, Terri   Top

janethappygirl 13 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson" 10-18-05, 08:23 PM (EST) 15. "RE: Content " I agree Terri, we just moved in a new home and I am busy with that. The problem is not that I have too much time, but that I feel useless to my children. My one son is in Iraq and I worry and pray for him constantly (not to mention dream about him) and my younger son (also not at home) drinks and partys non-stop and I worry about him. I guess I am worried about both boys safety, and they are not little anymore and I can't provide that "safety net" for them anymore...it's hard to let go.   Top

susang 435 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 10-19-05, 12:46 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Content " SO should feature a housemate who is dealing with empty nest syndrome. I would be especially pleased if the show would cover the topic of unemployment/layoff. There are some life situations that are harder to deal with when one is over 40.   Top

dgibson 76 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 10-19-05, 01:01 PM (EST) 18. "RE: Content " One thing I love about the SO threads is that people are very supportive of eachother. This touches my heart to know that support is out there for us when we need it. (I am not in this season of my life, but when I am, I will call!!)   Top

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