I've watched pieces of both editions of "The Bachelor", the last two episodes of "Joe Millionaire", and all but one episode of "The Bachelorette". I'm not exactly proud of this, but I do have some random thoughts about these shows, for what they're worth:

* Sorry things didn't work out with Helene & Aaron, but I don't think things would have worked out much better with Brooke. I don't think a small-town banker could survive having a partner whom everyone knows that her biological father is in jail for, um, not nice things. Rumor mill and all that. Kinda unfair for both of them, but that's the way of the world.

* I'm one of the six non-family members who liked Melissa M. and think she has the best shot at an acting career of any of these media hounds. She's comfortable (OK, she's in love) with the cameras, she's blunt, she's ambitious, she has a killer smile, and she has those two assets front and center. It's hard to be a star when you're tending bar near Minneapolis and 98% of America thinks you're a dim bulb - and worse - but don't be surprised to see her pop up for guest shots on Fox shows over the next few months.

* Speaking of Mel M., I think a good thesis can be written comparing and contrasting her to Flo of TAR.

* Last night on "The Bachelorette", the least dramatic rose ceremony ever! OK, that's not what the promos said, but it happens to be true.

* But now it gets much tougher for Trista. She appreciates Ryan's poetry and is intrigued by his shyness; and she is attracted to Charlie's well-roundedness. Being Kind of a "Ryan" myself, I hope he wins, but I think she'll pick Charlie.

* Meanwhile, on "Joe Millionaire", Joe/Evan, Melissa, and Zora are all obviously lower-middle class. Sarah too, probably, but she hides it better.

* As for who he will pick, it looks like Zora. The crystal ball fails as to whether she will accept what he's offering. I think she will be neither be surprised nor displeased about his lack of money. Whether she wants to keep going out with him will be based on whether she likes him... and that I can't read. I'm not sure whether she likes him all that much.