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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
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but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
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As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Celebrity Poker Showdown: Brad Garrett, Master Of Sucking"
Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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01-27-05, 01:15 PM (EST)
 
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"Celebrity Poker Showdown: Brad Garrett, Master Of Sucking" |
out on the river. Poor, poor Sara. That was painful. Just when you thought she had him beat -- miracle card. Followed by another miracle card. And that was, in turn, followed by -- you guessed it -- yet another miracle card. This is why you have to laugh when people say poker is a game of skill. Sarah had the skills and Brad had the ability to put his lips up to the deck and inhale.Overall, a funny table -- that's actually the only time I've ever laughed at Ray Romano, which includes every episode of every season, plus let's face it: there's something funny about seeing the highest salary at the table get skunked out first. There was an interesting 'No, I hate you more' dynamic between Ray and Brad that you had to see to really appreciate. (Although the person who got the most from it might have been our tournament director. 'Let's see the chocolate shop.') I could have wished for Curt Schilling to talk more, since anyone who's seen his press conferences and online activities knows the man only stops when he has to eat -- but his idea of a poker face seemed to be silence and a big grin. Figures. And there was another woman at the table, but she was pretty much completely and utterly lost among the other four, did very little, and went out without a whimper. She may have been blonde. I'm not sure. Oh, and Dave and Phil are getting more and more comfortable with each other as co-hosts. Although it was still weird seeing Phil with his head in Dave's lap. They make a cute couple, but -- well, Phil's head is almost the size of Dave's whole torso. Not a good visual when you're not sure how awake you are to begin with. Good start to the season -- but Sara should have won that table three times over. Let the legend of Evil Brad begin.
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Jims02 7407 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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01-29-05, 12:09 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown: Brad Garrett, Master Of Sucking" |
I saw that episode. Hilarious episode. I've never laughed so hard in my life when Brad Garrett got a miracle card for the second time.I really did feel bad for Sara Rue though. A-Q vs A-J? Brad should've been out right there. However, her poor decisions when they went heads-up was really what killed her in the end. Curt Schilling made a couple "interesting" moves, like playing A-lowcard and throwing away K-J. I still can't believe Catherine O'Hara wouldn't throw in her last $300 when she was in the $2,000 big blind. *boggle*  
Jims02: Proud member of the inoffensive OT Triumvirate. Jims' Random Thoughts
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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01-29-05, 03:06 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Celebrity Poker Showdown: Brad Garrett, Master Of Sucking" |
That was horrible luck for Sara. She had some absolutely horrible luck at the hands of Brad Garrett, and once, Curt.Kind of sad that Curt's two best sound quips were "****" and "At least the Yankees won something this year". He is never at a shortage for words, but alas, he decided not to talk. The other woman at the table, the one that wasn't Sara Rue, hooboy. That one play where she didn't go in when she had 6/7 of her stack already in the pot was Jeff Gordon-esque. Crazy, at least Phil kept his cool this time. Brad and Ray had the obvious chemistry, although I wasn't terribly impressed. I can see why ELR is only a half-hour show, I can only handle that much of Brad Garrett or Ray Romano. As for the actual poker play, Sara Rue certainly got a hell of a lot better (I attribute it to losing Heather Graham (she was at the table last time, right?), that had to help since Sara could be the aggressor). Curt played pretty predictably, although he was solid. Brad was beyond lucky post-flop, playing crappy hands and getting rewarded. It could be a good season though.
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AyaK 10426 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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01-31-05, 03:22 PM (EST)
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6. "OK, I watched" |
In its two prior seasons on the air, I have NEVER watched Celebrity Poker Showdown ... or any other televised poker. But I watched this one. It was unbelievably funny.Ray Romano's comparison of Brad Garrett to Shecky Greene (does anyone else remember him?) was spot on. In fact, Brad Garrett made this show. As another non-fan of ELR, I was surprised by how hilarious he was. The first time he went all-in, I felt sorry for him. It was a good play on his part, but Sara Rue just had a great hand. Then to get the ace on the river -- the ONLY card in the deck that saved him from a dead draw -- was so lucky that I couldn't believe it. And then to win twice more from inferior positions when he was all-in? My goodness, talk about a miracle night! It was obvious fairly early that the only two players at the table who understood Texas Hold-'Em were Brad and Sara. I thought Curt Schilling would be the star at the table, since lots of ballplayers play cards and Curt has a reputation for shooting his mouth off. It didn't turn out that way. He didn't have a good grasp of what cards are valuable when you're only getting two cards of your own, and the comedians dominated the table talk. Catherine O'Hara is a very funny person (as her time on SCTV proved, even more than her slew of successful films that includes "Home Alone 1 & 2," "A Mighty Wind" and "Best in Show"), but she obviously knew little about poker and nothing about Texas Hold-'Em. And if Brad hadn't handed Ray a big pot (when Brad was betting with nothing, apparently as a way to keep his buddy at the table), Ray would have been gone while they were still betting with small blinds. He knew just enough to bet wildly. But I have to admit, there wasn't much to choose from between Brad and Sara in play. They were clearly each other's two biggest threats, and it was great that they ended up as the final two. Sara's only real mistake was the very last hand (all in with 9-3???), but one was enough in this battle.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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01-31-05, 03:39 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: OK, I watched" |
I suppose I should welcome you to the dark side of the table, but I've got to warn you: your first episode was an exceptional one. They're not usually that good.
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Fishercat 4168 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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01-31-05, 04:32 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: OK, I watched" |
Maybe it's just my personality (and really, it wasn't bad strategy considering a lot of people on the show play fairly tight), but I thought Brad was too loose for his own good. He was playing fairly questionable hands and I think he often got in too deep for his own good. Granted, when playing cards I'm an absolute wuss and I play way too passively to ever be good at the game, but he striked me as a player who may have walked too close to the cliff for his own good.I agree that Curt's value on his cards was a bit weird. Maybe he had a tell on someone, but he folded some pretty nice hands and then subsequently bet some lesser hands, which was a bit odd to me. He's no Catherine O'Hara though. However, welcome to the wagon of death, but as Estee said, this was one of the better CPS. More often then not, you'll get people who are way too serious or just boring shows.
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AyaK 10426 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-03-05, 02:52 PM (EST)
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12. "I don't know" |
I've only seen two shows ... but Chris Kattan was the worst player in those two shows! Worst ever? I don't know; I think there are a lot of dumb people in "Hollyweird."
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-05-05, 04:12 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: OK, I watched" |
Finally getting to comment -- I had to watch this in segments, as TAR overrode the second half on Tuesday.So. About this table. ... So. About next week's table. (sigh) At first, I thought Chris Kattan was doing it on purpose. I really did. He was pretending he had no idea what he was doing for -- well, it had to be for humor, right? He was trying to be funny by looking stupid! And sure, what was mostly happening was that he was looking stupid and not being funny, but if we just gave him a little more time, surely he'd drop the act and play something resembling actual poker, right? Wrong. As DW said, it was a relief when he went out: those pocket queens he kept getting were starting to make it feel like a case of Right Cards, Wrong Player and a very, very painful final table. (Although I'm also with Fishercat: there was something funny/painful about the Minor Raises Of Death.) Goodbye, Chris. Please don't come back. Ever. Any commentary on Allison should probably include the minor detail that she really never got the cards, which makes an improvement a little harder to pick out. Any other commentary stands a risk of sending the commentator into an early nap, which could also be said about most of Allison's play during the night. Oh, and what was with that blouse, anyway? Auditioning for Celebrity Nascar Showdown? Mary, thank you very much for coming over the table. This is the second time a contestant has gone feltside and it's been funny both times. This is so far ahead of Chris Kattan's record as to be pitiful. Beyond that, you were There. Which kept Chris from being in two places at once, so thanks again. Nick. He had some idea of what he was doing. He occasionally had a vague idea of what everyone else was doing. If his luck had been a little better, he would have landed in Chris' seat, gotten the pocket queens, and won the table. As was -- nice try, you're welcome to come back a second time, and you did accomplish your main purpose, which was to be seen in good lighting for an extended period of time. You didn't win your table, but GQ is on Line Four. Jason's apparently just trying to complete the Celebrity Gambling Tour. (Don't underestimate him. He did win the blackjack tourney. If he pulls out the lucky vest, the final table is a wash.) I did find him amusing -- although with Chris at the table, there's a lot of people I would have found amusing, up to and including Rumsfeld -- and his actually knowing How To Play helped on a night where it seems like the majority only knew How To Show Up. With him and Brad at the final table, there should be a fair amount of patter making the rounds. I predict no more than ten minutes will pass before the first height joke. (sigh) Next week almost has to be better than this. If nothing else, maybe Bonnie Hunt being there means a bad table will get the episode canceled half an hour in. (And a good one within fifteen minutes.)
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-13-05, 06:07 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Week 3" |
Not as good as the first week, but a lot better than the second. Of course, watching every episode of The Casino in a row with all commercials edited out and no bathroom breaks might be marginally better than Week #2, so saying this table beat it out isn't exactly a hard judgment call. (The sound you just heard was Fishercat choking on his own tongue.)Robert: He came. He saw a pretty face. He kept looking at that pretty face, and thinking about that pretty face, and calling the check-raises that came out of that pretty face, and then his chips were pretty much gone. After that, it was pretty much just a holding action until he finally headed for the Loser's Lounge. (If JK had that hand, Robert never would have called the second check-raise. Scott -- maybe.) Lacey: Don't you just want to take her to Mattel and get a doll made with her features? Don't you wish every poker table you played at had her sitting there with a big pile of chips, just waiting for you? Not only could you win all her money pretty much every time, but you could plan out a million-dollar toy line at the same time! Scott: There was a time when I thought he was going to win, and that time was right around his fourth win in a row during the eventually-stopped Comeback From The Chip. I still think he could have made it if he'd just kept trusting to luck and, as Phil advised, gone in on every pot for a while until broke or flush. As-was -- nice dimples, interesting style of play, and your 'sister' would really appreciate it if you'd stop ordering her around. Plus she's going out with JK afterwards and there's nothing you can do about it. JK: Knew how to play. Got better as the night went along. Never channeled JJJ, and I spent most of the show waiting for the first cigar chomp and yell. (That would have made for some interesting reactions around the table.) Had the cards, had some idea on what everyone else was holding a few timse, and had the skills to stay in until the end. Plus his dimples weren't bad, either. But... Bonnie: Funny. Brought a good supply of material. Brought way too much poker agression to the table. (The all-in on the full house was painful to watch. When you flop a hand on that level, you take it slow and extract chips from your tablemates with surgical precision. Bonnie played it as if she was hoping JK had pocket kings.) JK's definite inferior in skill, but she got the last draw when she needed it. Probably should have been out before the final two, but it seemed as if there was a worse play going on every time she could have conceivably left. On the bright side, it's not going to be an all-male final table, and with three comedians, the banter should be working even if the gameplay goes down the toilet. Two seats left. Who's going all in on 2-7 offsuit this week?
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AyaK 10426 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-14-05, 04:12 PM (EST)
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21. "Agree" |
LAST EDITED ON 02-14-05 AT 04:14 PM (EST)>Never channeled JJJ, and I spent most of the show waiting
>for the first cigar chomp and yell. So did I! I thought J.Jonah would be a perfect poker personna, but JK remained in RL character as the Broadway lifer who doesn't take any of his success too seriously. >Bonnie: Funny. Brought a good supply of material. Yes. Either she is REALLY funny naturally, or she wrote material specifically to use on the show. Whichever, it worked. >(The all-in on the full house was painful to watch.) Yep. This was a hand that cried out for, say, Chris Kattan's weak raises followed by a serious (non-Chris Kattan) raise once some money was in the pot ... or Lacey's check-raises against Robert, which I finally got to see. Oh, and JK played a couple of early hands against Scott badly. I wonder if the Robert Wagner fiasco shook him up. But he never made those same misplays against Bonnie or Lacey, so maybe he was only really worried about Scott -- a mistake, if that were the case!
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AyaK 10426 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-16-05, 12:19 PM (EST)
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22. "Week 4" |
Bad poker. Not funny. So why did I watch?There must have been some hands when Colin Quinn didn't stay in, but it seemed like he stayed every time he had decent hole cards, even if someone else was betting like crazy. On the plus side, though, he had one of the best poker faces I've ever seen ... though it makes him look like he has a chronic stomach ulcer. Camryn Manheim could have won. Colin made a real mistake staying in against her when she asked him before the flop how much she would have to bet before he'd fold, then bet less than that (he should just have folded when she bet the $5K), giving her the chip lead. But she returned the favor, making a huge blunder by staying in with nothing against Colin after he flopped two pair. Phil may have criticized Colin's play because he had a "weak" two pair and didn't go all in immediately to put her out of the hand -- but she bet about $10K before he finally went all in, giving him the chip lead again. The only other player at the table that I knew was Brandy Chastain. She looked like a deer in the headlights. The other two players were Tom Verica ("American Schemes" or "Dreams" or some such) and Kevin Weisman (using an "Alias"), supposedly celebrities. Sure they are.
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Estee 57126 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-16-05, 05:25 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Week 4" |
I can't fully comment because -- oh, is this ever embarassing -- I fell asleep about five minutes into the second hour and woke up just in time to see everyone waving at the camera. I think it was a subconscious desperate attempt to save myself from having to see Callin' (the perfect nickname) going in with 2-7 offsuit. Never has one player gone into so many hands with so relatively little and won so much. But then again, never has one player spent the entire game looking like the stomach pump was six hours overdue. Maybe there's a connection... I decided Camryn had no right to win after she folded on her flush. Honestly, at first, I thought she was just taking a moment to think about Callin' having an ace of diamonds in the hole and a higher flush than she had with the only card that would have cost her the hand. And then I realized she didn't know she had a flush. And then I completely gave up on her forever. I actually liked her a little during her Celebrity Blackjack turns: there was a definite sense of fun there, even if she played blackjack with about the same level of skill she had for poker. (On the prior, she had a quick-reference hit/stand card with her and consulted it on pretty much every hand. For the later, I'm not sure Phil standing directly behind her would have done any good.) Brandi... I would have loved to see a closeup on the medal. It would have been an improvement on everything I saw during play. Tom was -- there. 'And tonight, the part of Seat #2 will be played by one of Pixar's test models.' Who is Kevin Weisman and how can I make sure that I never have to see him trying to be funny again?
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