LAST EDITED ON 06-26-04 AT 06:37 PM (EST)Far more fun to write than a Top Ten list is the #####-fighting mud-slinging slag-fest that is a Bottom Five list. I could've gone with a Bottom Ten of course, but I didn't want to bring up too many painful memories. In reverse order... 5. John Stevens - My Girl 
It's so easy to diss Johnny Redhead. He's given so many terrible performances on AI3 that by rights he should be on every single entry on this list. But his worst performance - and I'm talking harrowing, petrifying, incalculably terrible worst - was his tone-deaf, rhythm-challenged, out-of-tune rendition of My Girl on Motown night. This could easily be on the very top of my list, but like any John Stevens performance you could care to mention, that would be (on my part) the height of boring predictability.
4. Jasmine Trias - Breathe
Everyone who's followed this season of American Idol closely will know that Jasmine can't really sing. Rather, she croons gently and sweetly to whatever background music they happen to play behind her. So whenever she chooses a vocally demanding song to perform - and Breathe was just one of several stinkers - Jasmine's sweet, unassuming vocals will take on the very odd quality of offensiveness. Stay away from power songs that require vocal dexterity girl! Or you run the risk of sounding both disturbing and unfortunate.
3. Eric Yoder - In the still of the night
Many of you won't remember Eric Yoder, who was described by Simon as "Clay Aiken without the personality", and whose favourite male and female pop artists are Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears respectively. Could this man be any blander? No, but, he can definitely be more annoying than anyone would've thought to be humanly possible. Notice the way he caresses his chest pseudo-seductively in a sly nod to getting-sluttier-by-the-minute Justin Timberlake, as he hits the impossibly horrid climax of his dreadful song choice. Thank god he never made it to the finals! The world does not need some repulsive Aiken-Timberlake hybrid.
2. Fantasia Barrino - Holding out for a hero
Never let it be said that my Fantasia bias gets in the way of acknowledging some of her truly dreadful costumes/performances, the worst of which is this bizarre half-petticoat half-pinstriped-monstrosity coupled with an aggressively morose rendition of Holding out for a hero on Disco Night. This tiny picture above doesn't do justice to the utter wretchedness that was her pants, so I've provided a larger photo below for you to pretend not to look at.
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1. Matt Rogers - What You Won't Do For Love
This was truly the most awful thing that emerged from American Idol this season. Matt Rogers sings an entire beat behind the background music, causing the listener to experience feelings of disjointed-ness and nausea; he doesn't exactly sound pleasant in a song that was already non-studio-audience-friendly to begin with, and worst of all, he clearly thinks he sounds fantastic throughout, peeping faux-sexily at the camera in the picture I've provided. I mean yuck! I want to drown this man in that big bubble bathtub he relaxes in at home, or at least make him swallow so much soapy water that his vocal chords are permanently damaged and his voice will never be inflicted on us ever, ever again.
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