LAST EDITED ON 06-19-01 AT 02:51 PM (EST)(when the competition wasn't quite so fierce... {sigh}
Here 'tis, though.
Old Friend
I see an old friend, at least every day or two.
We stop and talk, chat about the weather, other pleasantries, but I know what he's thinking. He's wondering why I don't come around like I used to.
How can I explain that I just can't?
We used to hang out a lot. All day, every day, practically. Honestly, in the beginning, it was the drugs that came between us. The drugs and being so very busy. There just wasn't TIME to visit, and I kinda fell out of the habit.
Kind of like watching TV, one day was just too busy, and before I noticed, the damn thing had dust on the remote.
I fall out of the habit of a lot of things these days. I'll look up and notice it's Spring, then all of a sudden, it's snowing. I have vague memories of mowing the lawn, and once in a while sitting on the deck with a beer, but I've definitely got a shovel in my hand, and I'm ALREADY late for work.
Fell out of the habit with the drugs, too. Just forgot to refill the prescription one day. Withdrawal was hell, but at least I felt awake again.
And you know what? I still like my old friend. He's easy to get along with, and he doesn't remind me of all the crap floating around in my head. In fact, he'd wash it away quite thoroughly. I don't come around as often as I used to, though. Too much to do, and I know I'm stronger than that.
Yeah, I looked over the edge. Hell, I jumped right off, and *I* *enjoyed* *it.*
But you know, it's a hell of a lot of work to claw and scrape your way back. I think I'll hang out here a while longer. I have a new bumper sticker, though: "Reality's for people who can't handle fantasy."
{sigh}
-- JV
edited to add actual content
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