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shakes the clown 3366 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-17-01, 11:16 PM (EST) "Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" LAST EDITED ON 05-17-01 AT 11:32 PM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 05-17-01 AT 11:28 PM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 05-17-01 AT 11:26 PM (EST) LAST EDITED ON 05-17-01 AT 11:21 PM (EST) Before we begin with the big announcement, I want to say a few things about the casting process. 20 women tried out for the eight available spots and it was not an easy process of elimination. At least 10 minutes was spent by yours truly reviewing the applications before I made the final decision. And before I continue I just want to say to all the girls that didn’t quite make the cut.....just because you weren’t selected for Shakesvivor doesn’t mean that you failed to fit into a certain desired demographic, no no no, the reason you were not selected is simply that you were and are NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Alright, that ought to make you feel better. Also, there was a specific question on the application that, if answered “no”, immediately removed your application from consideration no matter what qualifications you might have. That question was, of course, “Would you sleep with Shakes for a guaranteed spot in the final two?” The following people answered “no” and were therefore taken out of consideration..........Samian, Cherberrie, Kismet, Darbygrl, Shanana Banana, Spitts, and Mistofleas. I know this may seem a little harsh, but I wanted to keep this casting process as close to the real thing as possible. Welcome to Hollywood. I will now list the lucky 8 women who will compete in the inaugural Shakesvivor followed by a brief bio and question and answer session with each woman individually.......... Vampkira Dalton ItzLisa Outfrontgirl Survivorchick Dangerkitty MonCherie George Tirebiter (oh yes you are) Vampkira is the show’s token immortal blood sucker...every show’s gotta have one. Her luxury item is a cape and she would have no problem sleeping with Shakes in exchange for a birth in the final two. And now, three questions with Vamp.... 1. Do you have a strategy? Vamp: “Yeah, I’m gonna sleep with Shakes.....I thought we already covered that in the application!” 2. Why the cape? Vamp: “Well, I need something to protect me from the sun during the challenges. Also, in a pinch it can expand into a small tarp to be used as a shelter....pretty clever, huh?” 3. Now that you’re a full fledged media whore, do you expect to change at all? Vamp: “No, Vampkira will always be Vampkira. Vamp is always going to be the same down to Earth, easy going Vampire that she’s always been. Oh, but one thing, from now on Vamp only eat at People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People. Jiffy Probe, you better lock your doors.” Dalton is the leading female litigator in the extensive SB shyster community. Dalton lists Stacey Stillman as not only the Survivor she admires most, but also the person she admires most. In fact, so much does Dalton want to emulate her hero, that she has already filed several lawsuits and injunctive actions against Shakesvivor, Inc. in anticipation of production wrong doings. Dalton’s luxury item is an authentic Cherokee Indian Peace Pipe....and a ½ ounce of Hawaiian Purple Passion. Oh yeah, one more thing...Dalton would be more than willing to sleep with Shakes for a guaranteed spot in the final two, hell, when it comes right down to it she’d sleep with him for a guaranteed spot in the Sunday brunch line at the Old Country Buffett. Now, three questions with Dalton..... 1. Dalton, you of all people....a media whore? I never thought I’d see the day. Dalton: “Hey asshole....is that even a friggen question!?!? Amateur.” 2. Aren’t you a little worried that your luxury item could get you dis-barred? Dalton: “The weed’s not for me....I’m gonna plant it on the other contestants and get them kicked off. See, there’s more than one way to win this game.” 3. Do you think you have it in you to be ruthless? Dalton: “I once married a guy twice JUST so I could divorce him, the bastard. Is that ruthless enough for ya?” ItzLisa is a frequent poster in the SB community and one of our resident “Basher Babes”. A 35 year old career criminal who lists “shoplifting” as a hobby, Lisa is actually one of the “nice guys” of the Suvivor Blows community. Lisa’s luxury item is a stapler and she also stated on her application that she would be more than willing to sleep with the aforementioned clown. 1. ItzLisa, what’s your game plan? ItzLisa: “Well, I’m gonna kill em with kindness, and then when they’re not looking I’m gonna kill em for real.” 2. Are you too nice to play this game? ItzLisa: “Oh, not at all. I can be quite the smart-ass when I need to be. Ya know, just cause you’re nice, doesn’t mean that you’re easy! I can be just as tou.....oh wait, I forgot, I AM easy....my bad LOL.” 3. Why the stapler? ItzLisa: “Cause I chew on paperclips.” Outfrontgirl is a relative newcomer to the SB community. But, with a keen eye for spoiling she immediately caught the eye of even the most hardened of veteran posters. In fact, Outfrontgirl lists spoiling as her career, which is a cuter way of saying you’re unemployed. Outfrontgirl’s luxury item is a 3-foot Graffix water bong which makes you wonder if she’ll end up on the same tribe as Dalton...hmmmm. Oh yeah, and one more thing.....Outfront would be happy to spend a night with the King of Love, the Coitus Clown, Shakes the Sexinator. 1. Outfrontgirl, you’re a relative newcomer to the community....do you think that’s gonna have a bearing on your chances to succeed? Outfront: “Oh, I think so for sure....that’s why I need to show my tribe mates how valuable I am to the survival of the tribe. I plan to do this by using my spoiling abilities to successfully predict the results of each challenge in advance. For instance, I figured out two weeks ago that I was gonna be cast for this show, so I’m already two weeks ahead of the rest of em.” 2. Uhmm, a bong? Outfront: “Yeah, they’re perfect for carrying water, storing ice, and in a pinch, poaching eggs. I’m surprised more people aren’t bringing one.” 3. Aliance playa or alliance hata? Outfront: “Definitely a playa.” Survivorchick is also a relative Newbie here at SB, however this 26 year old lesbian convenient store clerk fit perfectly with too many demographic groups to be turned down. Survivorchick’s luxury item is a blowdryer and of course, sleeping with Shakes is a lifelong fantasy of her’s. 1. First of all, I just gotta ask....why a blowdryer? S-chick: “Well, actually that was meant as a joke, I can’t believe the asshole actually picked it. Well, I guess I could wait till everyone’s in the water and then throw it in and electrocute em all...instant winner.” 2. Are you nervous that since you’re a newbie, you’re time in the game might be brief? S-Chick: “Is that supposed to be a hint?” 3. Any strategy? S-Chick: “Yeah, I plan to walk around naked on EVERYONE’S Birthday.” Dangerkitty is a 40 year old married massage therapist. A long time poster and friend to many in the SB community, Kitty was one of the very first aspiring whores to get her application in. Kitty will be bringing a massage roller as a luxury item and, you guessed it, wants desperately to sleep with Shakes. 1. How do you plan to use your career to get ahead in the game Kitty: “Well, obviously I can give everybody massages after the challenges...hey, if it works for Scerri there’s no reason it can’t work for me. Oh yeah, I also plan to be offering “full release” massages which is really a bold career move for me because “A” I’m not Asian, and “B” I’m not 13 and working in the basement of some fleabag massage parlor in Cicero, Illinois.” {{not that I would know anything about that}} 2. Tell me about a situation where you were ruthless? Kitty: “Well, I once ended a sentence with a preposition.....and there was this time I turned right and DIDN’T signal.” 3. What do you fear the most? Kitty: “Guys who, in college, would take their roommate’s cat and stick it in the freezer for hours at a time......and then pull it out and use it as the ball in a drunken game of “3-Bedroom Apartment Tackle Football” where the scores were always high and the touchdown dances always came with a spike.” {not that I would know anything about that either}} Mon Cherie is a 28 year old single case manager, and no, I don’t know what the hell a case manager is anymore than you do. But, either way, she’s 28, single, wears a thong and wants to sleep with Shakes...that’s good enough to make my show. Her luxury item is a bible....what! Great, here I am casting for the role of team slut, and I end up with Rodger in a thong. 1. How will you use your sexuality to help yourself in the game? MonCherie: “Oh easy, the key is to have sex with all the directors and producers cause they’re the ones that control the editing....and we all know that’s the key to this game anyway, more so than the money.” 2. Its says on your application that your oral skills are amazing and that you are very crafty with your hands....care to elaborate? MonCherie: “No I don’t....I think its quite clear what I mean. Do you think I got my job as a case manager cause of my resume??? Hell, do you even know what a case manager is?? Me neither!” 3. Could you ever be ruthless MonCherie: “Well, I’ve thought about it in the past....in fact, my last boyfriend asked me to do it, but I just.......oh wait, you said ‘ruthless?’ I thought you said ‘toothless.’” Believe it or not, George Tirebiter did not even apply for Shakesvivor. Or at least, that’s what she’d have all of you believe. How surprised was I to find in my private mailbox a 4 page cast application, 2 letter of reference, a resume, and a personal letter begging me to let her on the show.....all from George Tirebiter. So, after reviewing GT’s application I have decided to add her as the last female member included in this year’s Shakesvivor. GT will be bringing her soapbox as a luxury item and of course she solicited my services in the sack, just like the rest of em. 1. So GT, surprised to find yourself in the game...or is it what you always wanted anyway? GT: “You dirty fucking clown! I hate your brilliant ass, I hate you so much that I can’t help but love you, you stupid asshole.” 2. Well, now that you’re part of the show, do you have a strategy? GT: “Yeah, basically I just don’t give a shit what you do in your stupid asinine fantasy world....OMG<click> who am I kidding, I LOVE IT..jerk” 3. Talk about the soapbox. GT: “I don’t talk about the soapbox, I talk ON the soapbox you moron.” Well, there you have it.....the first 8 contestants in this summer’s Shakesvivor. Stay tuned for the names of the male contestants later this weekend as well as an announcement on the air date for the premiere.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... dangerkitty 05-17-01 1  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... Drive My Car 05-17-01 2  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... mistofleas 05-17-01 3  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... George Tirebiter 05-17-01 4    RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... VampKira 05-18-01 5  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... Superman 05-18-01 6  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... Cherberrie 05-18-01 7  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... ItzLisa 05-18-01 8  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... SherpaDave 05-18-01 9    shakes' role AyatollahKhomeini 05-18-01 10        RE: shakes' role dangerkitty 05-18-01 11        RE: shakes' role desert_rhino 05-18-01 12            RE: shakes' role dangerkitty 05-18-01 13                RE: "about 15 seconds" PokeyOkie 05-20-01 58    RE: SherpaDave has a good idea!!! Dalton 05-18-01 14        RE: SherpaDave has a good idea!!! SherpaDave 05-18-01 15        RE: SherpaDave has a good idea!!! dangerkitty 05-18-01 16        Dalton makes sense George Tirebiter 05-18-01 17            RE: Dalton makes sense SherpaDave 05-18-01 18                RE: Dalton makes sense ItzLisa 05-18-01 20                    RE: Dalton makes sense SherpaDave 05-18-01 23                        RE: eating=conjugal George Tirebiter 05-18-01 26            RE: Dalton makes sense Dalton 05-18-01 19                RE: Dalton makes sense George Tirebiter 05-18-01 21                    RE: Dalton makes sense desert_rhino 05-18-01 22                    RE: Dalton makes sense ItzLisa 05-18-01 24                        It's all in how you approach it, It... George Tirebiter 05-18-01 28                            Reactions AyatollahKhomeini 05-19-01 47                                RE: Reactions George Tirebiter 05-19-01 49                                    Thinking like a lawyer AyatollahKhomeini 05-19-01 50                                        RE: Thinking like a lawyer George Tirebiter 05-19-01 52                    RE: Dalton makes sense SherpaDave 05-18-01 25                        You TOO, Sherpa???? ItzLisa 05-18-01 27                            RE: You TOO, Sherpa???? SherpaDave 05-18-01 29                                RE: You TOO, Sherpa???? mistofleas 05-18-01 30                                    RE: You TOO, Sherpa???? SherpaDave 05-18-01 31                                        RE: You TOO, Sherpa???? mistofleas 05-18-01 33                                    RE: For Misty and Liza & all the gi... Dalton 05-18-01 41                                Kids, huh? George Tirebiter 05-18-01 34                                    RE: Kids, huh? SherpaDave 05-18-01 36                    Labor Stories Kismet 05-20-01 56                        RE: Labor Stories Riordan 05-20-01 57                            It doesn't HAVE to hurt, people! George Tirebiter 05-20-01 59        let the bashing begin (we'll start ... shakes the clown 05-18-01 35            RE: let the bashing begin dangerkitty 05-18-01 37                Terminology AyatollahKhomeini 05-18-01 39                RE: let the bashing begin ItzLisa 05-18-01 42            RE: let the bashing begin (we'll st... SherpaDave 05-18-01 38            RE: let the bashing begin (we'll st... George Tirebiter 05-18-01 40            Did anyone else just get chills? Kismet 05-18-01 43  RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakes... Mon Cherie 05-18-01 32  Naive? Drive My Car 05-18-01 44    RE: Naive? Sadly, not. George Tirebiter 05-18-01 45        An FZ theme for shakes? AyatollahKhomeini 05-19-01 46            RE: An FZ theme for shakes? George Tirebiter 05-19-01 48            RE: For AyaK & GT...... Dalton 05-19-01 51                RE: For AyaK & GT...... George Tirebiter 05-19-01 53                    Shakesvivor? AyatollahKhomeini 05-19-01 54                        RE: Shakesvivor? George Tirebiter 05-20-01 60                    Apologies for being out of it, but ... Outfrontgirl 05-19-01 55  Archives? Not yet AyatollahKhomeini 06-17-01 61    Wrong! AyaK 08-13-02 62

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dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-17-01, 11:33 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... I'll just start with my own bio. wants desperately to sleep >with Shakes. What's this about "sleep" again? >2. Tell me about a situation >where you were ruthless? > >Kitty: “Well, I once ended >a sentence with a preposition.....and >there was this time I >turned right and DIDN’T signal.” Oh my god <click> - you actually know me. > >3. What do you fear the >most? > >Kitty: “Guys who, in college, >would take their roommate’s cat >and stick it in the >freezer for hours at a >time......and then pull it out >and use it as the >ball in a drunken game >of “3-Bedroom Apartment Tackle Football” >where the scores were always >high and the touchdown dances >always came with a spike.” >{not that I would know >anything about that either}} You'd better be lying about this....gggrrrrrrr Well, Shakes, no sooner had I posted that I had faith in you, I find your thread. There's so much more to say, but this will do for now... dangerkitty "Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-17-01, 11:37 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" Oh you are so wonderfully evil. I knew you Loved you. Thanks Bug   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mistofleas 8043 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-17-01, 11:38 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" >Vampkira >Dalton >ItzLisa >Outfrontgirl >Survivorchick >Dangerkitty >MonCherie >George Tirebiter (oh yes you are) Great choice Shakes!! I'm looking forward to the antics of all of my SB babe friends. You've got your work cut out for you! Even though I'm disappointed I did n't make the cut, I'd like to submit my application for the future Love Cruise version of the show, however, my answer about sleeping with you will still be the same! Just can't do a clown, much to close to a mime for my taste and I can't do that again!!! (kisses to you for being wonderful though) *puts on her clown nose and pays her WLSFC membership dues* mistofleas   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-17-01, 11:50 PM (EST) 4. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" LAST EDITED ON 05-18-01 AT 00:33 AM (EST) Good lord. . . I was sure I wanted nothing to do with this (except to watch all the action). I must've submitted all that application suck-up crap whilst on a bender, huh? Hope we didn't already have sex, too! You like it rough, don't you, Clown? more than a little S&M, eh? Not my usual approach, but you may just bring out the worst in me. Maaaan--today brought us a flurry of Top Ten activity, another installment of BA's B&G chat transcripts, and now this. . . it just doesn't get any better than this! (A soapbox?! How brilliant was that?!) GT Edited cuz I realized I'd left BA out of the day's wonderment--and not only do I not want to slight his excellent efforts, I should probably kiss EVERY guy's arse 'til we find out who the other 8 victims are. . .   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest" 05-18-01, 07:44 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" Oh Shakes!! I am honored.....I think. LOL Down to earth, that's me...Wheres my personal assistant!? And I need some bottled water!! Who is running this thing anyway? My trailer needs air conditioning, my blood supply is coagulating!! my nose needs powdered! Makeup!!!! w.l.s.f.c. Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Superman 3156 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 09:19 AM (EST) 6. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" Congrats Ladies! This is shaping up to be very interesting..... "Sniffing Glue Since 1974 and Still Going Strong"   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Cherberrie 1285 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 05-18-01, 10:34 AM (EST) 7. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" LAST EDITED ON 05-18-01 AT 11:30 AM (EST) In true SurvivorBlows style, I will now begin the first Shakesvivor bashing.... Vampkira Vamp is the one to watch during this series. What with her sucking capabilities, she will probably control the early game and could very well make it into the final two. Dalton Dalton is also another favorite to do well. She has the strength and stamina to sweep the game but if she can't control her temper and her aggression, she might get voted out early. ItzLisa ItzLisa is a relative newcomer to the scene and somewhat unpredictable. Because she isn't confrontational, she may be able to fly under the radar. Outfrontgirl Outfrontgirl is another of my picks to make into the final two. Her strategy of "spoiling the challenges" is a brilliant control move on her part. Survivorchick Survivorchick's strategy of walking nude on everyone's birthday probably won't work as it seems like all the Shakesvivor females don't have any morals. She looks like she will be the new "Kimmi" for this series. I guess we know what she will be using the blowdryer for! Dangerkitty Dangerkitty is another one to watch with her "massage release" strategy. Where Survivor 2 was sexy, I think Shakesvivor will be X-rated. MonCherie MonCherie is an enigma and one to keep an eye on. She is an interesting bi-polar mix of sex maniac and bible-thumping, religious fanatic. We will see how deeply she "believes" when she desperately needs some toilet paper. GeorgeTirebiter GeorgeTirebiter is another one to watch during this series with her shoot-straight-from-the-hip personality. She will do well if she is on the same team as Dalton and can fly low under the radar. All in all, it will be an interesting series to watch with Vamps sucking, Dalton's impatience, Dangerkitty's massage releasing, and MonCherie's bible-thumping. Cherberrie   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 10:54 AM (EST) 8. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" Aaaaaaah, Shakes! I made the cut! And I did it with kindness-slash-sweetness (not to be confused with "heart-slash-God"), a wise selection of office supplies, and various bedroom tricks and treats that I used to use to get out of those pesky shoplifting violations *wink!*!! Now, excuse me while I go shower this smeared clown makeup off my various body parts! ************************************** W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 12:20 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" Y'know... I was REALLY looking forward to watching Mad Dalt on the show. The burning question in my mind was whether or not she'd remove her teeth for the "Eat the Worm" challenge. But then, I began to wonder... what role precisely is Shakes playing here? Is he Burn-it? Is he Jiffy? Is he both? Here's why I ask: if he's Burn-it, wouldn't Dalton make the best damned host you ever saw? She would just flay the skin off the contestants with her questions at Tribal Councils. Can anyone imagine a better host (assuming, of course, that Shakes would be off the set)? So, Shakes... who is Jiffy?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-18-01, 12:55 PM (EST) 10. "shakes' role" SherpaDave, I think shakes is a combination of both Jiffy P. and Evil MB -- I'll bet shakes' questions in the TCs will elicit some of the most honest responses ever!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-18-01, 01:14 PM (EST) 11. "RE: shakes' role" Look out, AK, you might just end up as host!!! If so, may I officially note how deep my respect is for you, how wide my admiration, how expansive my love....and surely you noticed my profession, perhaps a private meeting could be arranged.... dangerkitty "Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

desert_rhino 10087 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 01:16 PM (EST) 12. "RE: shakes' role" Well, no wonder this is taking so long... Shakes is doing all the casting, interviewing, selecting, hosting, producing, cutting, filming... Damn, he needs a staff. So to speak. -- JV "Poking a rhino with a stick. Er, well... something along those lines, anyhow..."   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-18-01, 01:35 PM (EST) 13. "RE: shakes' role" Well, the casting part, the casting couch part anyway, shouldn't take that long. According to Shakes himself, only about 15 seconds. dangerkitty "Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

PokeyOkie 94 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 05-20-01, 03:55 PM (EST) 58. "RE: "about 15 seconds"" >>According to Shakes himself, >>only about 15 seconds. 20 women applicants. 8 selectees. 15 seconds. Now that's what I call a serious case of MHTS (Massive Hair-Trigger Syndrome)!! Pokey "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose. But you can't wipe your friends on the couch."   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Dalton 1271 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 05-18-01, 01:37 PM (EST) 14. "RE: SherpaDave has a good idea!!! " Which I'm going to get to right after this: >Y'know... I was REALLY looking forward >to watching Mad Dalt on >the show. The burning >question in my mind was >whether or not she'd remove >her teeth for the "Eat >the Worm" challenge. ****Whoa Up there Dave!! For all you nerds/geeks/fanatics peeps who DON'T know...Dalton is 5'5"; 108 lbs; good teeth; dark hair/eyes....Think Natalie Woods/Audrey Hepburn 40-ISH!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >But then, I began to wonder... >what role precisely is Shakes >playing here? Is he >Burn-it? ****Well of course the Clown is Burn-it; IF Burn-it is GOD!! This is well demonstrated by the fact that Dalton has never posted anything admiring or PRO--Stacy Stillman!! Uck, spit that girl should have read the damn fine print BUT the CLOWN already has HER listed as my "hero". > Is he Jiffy? > Is he both? >Here's why I ask: >if he's Burn-it, wouldn't Dalton >make the best damned host >you ever saw? She >would just flay the skin >off the contestants with her >questions at Tribal Councils. >Can anyone imagine a better >host (assuming, of course, that >Shakes would be off the >set)? > >So, Shakes... who is Jiffy? ****Here is the GOOD part.....Dalton has training and experience in being....wait for it.....MOTHER NATURE!!! Descending from the heavens only for Challenges and Tribal Councils. I can make it RAIN....do Thunder darn well....little fires like burning bushes are a speciality....Animals will come to me and eat out of my hand....I can SMELL water....and sand storms/tornados sometimes follow me on a parallel path. Mother Nature is not cruel SHE is simply pragmatic!! Human animals who do not worship the Sun, the Wind, the Soil, the Moon and the Water will NOT SURVIVE. Mother Nature looks on with compassion (but regret is just a silly waste of time) and restlessness (with the lapses in efficiency) at the progress known as "thining the herd".... Mother Nature is MOST Unforgiving of Stupidity (as in: oops, it's dead; somebody eat it or bury it.) Dalton would make a much better Mother Nature ---- as in you guys play the friggin game then bring it to the TC and EXPLAIN YOURSELVES TO M.N. (hehehehe). BESIDES SHAKES.....GT and DALTON sure as HELL don't want to be in your show if we have to be on DIFFERENT TEAMS and if you put the TWO of us on the SAME TEAM.....well we would... ooooooh, just never ya mind. NOTE: I'm ONLY speaking for ME.....but I bet that's how GT feels too. So....please DK or Cher or Vamp....somebody TALK to the damn CLOWN.....before this goes any further. Dalton PS. As Mother Nature....I could whip up some terrific "Rewards" for the weekly winners....How would ya like to spend the night in a big male OR female Orang's bed of leaves; 90 feet above the ground in a canopy of lush trees; and the vine swinging is to die for. Young Bull Elephant Herds are a fun place to hang out. Hunting with a pack of cheetahs is thrilling.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 02:04 PM (EST) 15. "RE: SherpaDave has a good idea!!! " >****Whoa Up there Dave!! For >all you nerds/geeks/fanatics >peeps who DON'T know...Dalton is 5'5"; >108 lbs; good teeth; >dark hair/eyes....Think Natalie Woods/Audrey Hepburn 40-ISH!! > Ack! At first, I thought this meant you were already dead! But then I looked... Natalie died at 43, Audrey at the ripe old age of 63. Actually, it wasn't your age so much that made me think of the teeth; more, I just thought the nickname Mad Dalt was a good fit. >****Well of course the Clown is >Burn-it; IF Burn-it is GOD!! > I was pretty damned sure this was the case. By asking it, I was hoping to push the idea that if he's Burn-it, someone else MUST be Jiffy. And I'd be delighted if that was you. >****Here is the GOOD part.....Dalton has >training and experience in being....wait >for it.....MOTHER NATURE!!! Descending >from >the heavens only for Challenges and >Tribal Councils. So, that whole Parkay/Butter thing a while back really sucked, huh? >BESIDES SHAKES.....GT and DALTON sure as >HELL don't want to >be in your show if we >have to be on DIFFERENT >TEAMS and if >you put the TWO of us >on the SAME TEAM.....well we >would... >ooooooh, just never ya mind. >NOTE: I'm ONLY speaking >for >ME.....but I bet that's how GT >feels too. > Actually, George would make a pretty great Jiffy, too.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-18-01, 02:04 PM (EST) 16. "RE: SherpaDave has a good idea!!! " >Mother Nature is not cruel SHE >is simply pragmatic!! Exactly! I get so sick of the talking heads always saying "MN unleashed her fury" "A cruel storm..." blah blah blah. MN just happens, its nothing personal! The universe does not revolve around human beings! Plus, sometimes we deserve it.... Human >>animals who do not worship the >Sun, the Wind, the Soil, >the Moon and the Water will >NOT SURVIVE. Oh, I do, Dalton, I do. The Medicine Wheel and all that, I am right there. >So....please DK or Cher or Vamp....somebody >TALK to the damn >CLOWN.....before this goes any further. Who can control him? Look, he can't put Dalton and GT on the SAME team, too unfair to the others, and face it, each team needs/deserves one of you. You'll just have to deal with being apart. Don't worry, there are plenty of worthy females involved, you'll have good teammates! dangerkitty "Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 02:16 PM (EST) 17. "Dalton makes sense" I was not expecting to be involved at this level, but when it happened, I thought I'd be a good sport and go with it. I figured I definitely had to be on Dalton's team, however, as that would maximize our enjoyment of the situation (and I figure to go far, as I actually love everyone involved, yet am willing to put that aside as needed). Then I realized that same team or different, Dalton, we've got like the ultimate alliance thing happening--and I would not be opposed to further understandings. . . Still, if you persist in your bid for MN (that role IS you, to a tee!), I can see great possibilities there, as well. Tough to know what to root for. (My first moral crisis?) Tell me, if you don't play--who gets your stash? And will MN be hanging out with the loozers, to maximize the consolation factor? But this talk of orangs and elephants. . . don't tell me we're headed to Africa--it's been done! Makes me wonder if we'll wind up in an infomercial with bloated bellies, groveling for funds for the Feed the Survivors charity. . . So Shakes--how long do we have to wait to find out where we're headed? I'm guessing it'll be somewhere hot, to minimize clothing (knowing the depths of your depravity, it'll probably be the Amazon rainforest, where the fashion rarely dictates more than jewelry. . . but on the upside, the psychotropics would be plentiful!) And if the men are an equally likable group, where's the conflict going to come from? It's all likely to turn into some kind of Monkey Island orgy happening, and to hell with the game! Man, we're such a whiny, demanding group--I sure am glad I don't have to walk in your gigantic shoes! Implications many--ALL horrible! GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 02:43 PM (EST) 18. "RE: Dalton makes sense" >would be plentiful!) And >if the men are an >equally likable group, where's the >conflict going to come from? Not that I've been chosen (nor am I necessarily equally likable), but I've recently decided to expand my eat-the-conjugal-visitor strategy. Rather than waiting for immunity challenges to force the tribes to vote, I plan to look for folks from the other tribe straying too far from the herd during reward challenges. I'll then cull 'em, butcher 'em, and bring 'em back to my tribe, telling my tribe it's "the other white meat." "Mmmmmm, pork...." "No, Homer. The other OTHER white meat." "Mmmmmm, human...." That should be good for SOME conflict (unless I got voted off early, in which case I'd just have to start eating everyone voted off after me, so that I could be a Jury of One). Alas, I think I'm a dark horse (at best) to be one of Shakes' chosen ones.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 03:17 PM (EST) 20. "RE: Dalton makes sense" > I've recently decided to expand my eat-the-conjugal-visitor strategy. *** But Dave, isn't "eating" and "conjugal" kinda redundant anyway??? (hee! ) ************************************** W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 04:27 PM (EST) 23. "RE: Dalton makes sense" >*** But Dave, isn't "eating" and >"conjugal" kinda redundant anyway??? (hee! > ) (licks eyebrows) Why, whatever do you mean?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 04:44 PM (EST) 26. "RE: eating=conjugal" You two. . . oh, beHAVE! GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Dalton 1271 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 05-18-01, 03:05 PM (EST) 19. "RE: Dalton makes sense" First...let me add with a chuckle that DK is going to need camphor leaves rubbed on her lips soon...cause camphor numbs all feeling and prevents chapping from excessive a$$ kissing....M.N. knows these things!! TO GT....My main GRIPE with the whole "survivor" version ala MB...is the guy is too friggin scardy-cat to use REAL ANIMALS. Come on...even those kids on RR look fearless bungie jumping....but show them a real Animal and watch their face go chalky and the boys start bragging like the bs artist-o-the-day...hehehe. And certainly rest assured Mother Nature "distributes" all the BEST drugs; SHE does grow them!! Not just tricks; heck SHE even knows the right Frogs to lick (should the Amazon be the location). If Shakes is going to have any Heros or Heroines or Daring Do .....instead of just stupid sex giggle sh!t --- We need Superman to Ride to Bull Elephant to Rescue OutFrontGirl or some such exciting survivor stuff. GT gets to fly with the Topaz Parrots dive bombing w/doo doo the opposing Camp. Most people on this board have indicated animals and/or small kids (which are TRES alike)....Their Survival depends on US and OUR Survival depends on them not disappearing off our planet. Dalton   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 03:37 PM (EST) 21. "RE: Dalton makes sense" >GT gets to fly with the Topaz Parrots dive bombing w/doo doo the opposing Camp. Oooh! I get to fly?!! Is this with or without the frog-licking? And whose doo-doo are we dropping? (I hope not mine, because I understand that's likely to be in short supply. . .) And I may prefer tofu, but I assure you I grew up in a serious hunting/fishing family (plus many, many years as a Boy Scout leader)--I will not shame you when it comes to true survival skills! Yes, men do tend toward self-aggrandizing and/or serious psychotic tendencies (i.e. that asshole Skoop and his bloodlust); we all know that WOMEN are the real toughies in the world! Hell, I'd like to see any of these guys develop the balls to deliver their own kid on the sofa-bed, get up and wash the sheets, and then go out to lunch the next day! (May I present Exhibit A, my 12 year-old daughter? and Exhibit B, the blood-stained mattress?) I am beginning to think I may actually kick ass. GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

desert_rhino 10087 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 03:49 PM (EST) 22. "RE: Dalton makes sense" Hell, I'd like to see any of these guys develop the balls to deliver their own kid on the sofa-bed, get up and wash the sheets, and then go out to lunch the next day! Yeah, I can't see any of the guys here doing that. (duh?) But, umm... do you have a receipt from that alleged lunch? -- JV Look out for the Camo-Rhino!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 04:31 PM (EST) 24. "RE: Dalton makes sense" LAST EDITED ON 05-18-01 AT 04:42 PM (EST) >Hell, I'd like to see any of these guys develop the balls to deliver their own kid on the sofa-bed, get up and wash the sheets, and then go out to lunch the next day! (May I present Exhibit A, my 12 year-old daughter? and Exhibit B, the blood-stained mattress?) *** Holy Sweet God in Heaven, GT!!! You *did* that???? I am beyond amazed! I bow before you, I throw roses at your feet! Holy China! And here I am, getting all smug because I didn't cry during a bikini wax! I think I'll just shut the hell up and be grateful I'm on *your* team, Georgia! Edit to add: I mean, I am *STUNNED*!!! Forgive me for not being able to lay off this topic, but that still blows my mind, LOL!!! As for the balls???? You have HUGE ones! Lemme know if you want a wheelbarrow to cart those suckers around in, GT! ************************************** W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 04:57 PM (EST) 28. "It's all in how you approach it, Itz" Actually, it does make good ammuition here--but it wasn't such a big deal at the time. First kid was breech, and although he was already coming down the chute, they panicked and forced a c-section on us (cuz that's how those lousy male-dominated, uptight doctor-types are. . .), and we just didn't want to go through their scene again. I was safe and sane about it (and would've called for help, it something scary came up)--got a midwives' handbook, kept positively anal prenatal records, took prenatal vites. And since I never exected it to hurt (I'm still waiting for those labor pains), it was more like a really intense acid trip (heavy on the sex), only I couldn't enjoy it too much, because I was in charge. . . Cranked her out in 2 hours, start to finish! The worst part was that we had to go to an abortion clinic to get a shot of RhoGam the next day (Rh neg), because no one else could accept that we'd done it without a "professional." And no, I didn't get a lunch receipt--but I remember that I had a huge thing of bean dip and chips, and a pitcher of iced tea. And--a wheelbarrow, Itz? Brought back one of my favorite Kliban comics (Ted was the hit of the beach with his BIG BALLS!--rear view of Ted, who can't begin to get his feet in the same neighborhood. . .) GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-19-01, 00:42 AM (EST) 47. "Reactions" GT, my first reaction to this is ... you needed a better health insurance plan. Seriously, I only know of one couple that did a home delivery (the husband was a doctor, but they were both very earthy -- got married in a public park in a service performed by a street minister, etc.). I don't want to tell the whole horrifying story, but the end result was that the baby suffered permanent brain damage that might have been (no guarantees) preventable in a hospital setting. Unfortunately, the couple could never know for sure, and the uncertainty and second-guessing (not to mention the stress of caring for a special-needs child) destroyed their marriage. I'm glad nothing like this happened to you ... but when our kids were born, my wife and I left for the hospital early and often (when our younger daughter was born, the drive to the hospital was 25 minutes -- and we ended up starting the drive four times; the fourth time was the charm)!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-19-01, 01:07 AM (EST) 49. "RE: Reactions" Ever the voice of reason, eh, AK? Yes, it is not something to enter into lightly--you have to be certain complications aren't likely (or if something comes up, help is a short call away). Very much life and death, and you're pretty much insisting that third party come along on the trip with you without asking for their approval (very anti-Leary-sounding, huh?). We were actually hyper-prepared for this, and already had a history of quick delivery. If we'd had to go to a hospital, the nearest one dealing with deliveries was over an hour away (heart attacks and hip replacements are more cost-effective, and most have done away with OB facilities!)--and I definitely wouldn't have made it! Honestly, our biggest catastrophes came under a doctor's care. . . But since you brought it up, I will add a disclaimer (like that stuff you can't read at the bottom of those car commercials): Professional baby-haver on closed course; do not try this at home unless you have read and understand the fine print! (Better? Am I now protected from lawsuits from willy-nilly youngsters who think they can follow my example after reading one discussion?) GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-19-01, 01:21 AM (EST) 50. "Thinking like a lawyer" LAST EDITED ON 05-19-01 AT 01:21 AM (EST) >But since you brought it up, I will add a disclaimer >(like that stuff you can't read at the bottom of >those car commercials): Professional baby-haver on closed >course; do not try this at home unless you have read and >understand the fine print! (Better? Am I now protected from >lawsuits from willy-nilly youngsters who think they can follow >my example after reading one discussion?) Sorry, GT, I can't help thinking like a lawyer about these things... You know, one of the funny things about law school is that the professors tell you over and over again that they are going to teach you to "think like a lawyer" by the time you're done. But that's not really true. All they can teach you how to separate legal issues in cases from public policy issues (leaving me as one of the few pro-choice people who believes Roe v. Wade should be vacated because it rests on such horrible legal logic). But you either already "think like a lawyer" or you never will.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-19-01, 01:38 AM (EST) 52. "RE: Thinking like a lawyer" Sorry, but I'm too much of a live-for-the-moment type to ever think things through to that extent. . . (plus, I have bad experiences with lawyer-types, who seem to feel no compunction about screwing their own clients while they're at it) so I will rely on you to keep me on the straight and narrow, mkay? I am an artiste, dammit! GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 04:39 PM (EST) 25. "RE: Dalton makes sense" >(May I present Exhibit A, >my 12 year-old daughter? and >Exhibit B, the blood-stained mattress?) > I am now precisely 27 days removed from witnessing my wonderful wife producing a male version of Exhibit A and a very wet version of Exhibit B. I was already blown away by her strength after number one son was born in a hospital with an epidural. I'm now in the Wayne's World "I'm not worthy" mode in her presence.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 04:45 PM (EST) 27. "You TOO, Sherpa????" Holy God, you people are freaking me out!!! This is amazing! Our teams will truly kick butt!!! Dave, that is beyond incredible - I need to stop thinking I'm hot stuff because I saw a litter of kittens being born in high school! Excuse me while I go get a life.... () ************************************** W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 05:00 PM (EST) 29. "RE: You TOO, Sherpa????" Really, it could have been worse. Our plan was to take a ferry from our home on the Olympic Peninsula over to Seattle and deliver at the hospital where our family doctor usually delivers babies. So... if her labor had been about a half hour longer, we'd probably have delivered on the ferry. Perhaps the most amazing thing about the whole experience is that our two-year-old SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. He woke up just in time to look out the window and say, "Firetruck! Firetruck! Firetruck!"   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mistofleas 8043 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 05:16 PM (EST) 30. "RE: You TOO, Sherpa????" You breeder type people just amaze me. I'm not quite as freaked out as Lisa just because I've seen both of my godson's born at home. I still look at the tapes and am in awe. Being a woman who has made the decision to never have a child, sometimes I just sit and (though it's rather rude) stare at pregnant women. I find them beautiful and mysterious, full of the ancient power of the universe. I admire you all. By the by...Sherpa, you mentioned Olymipic peninsula, which ferry, Winslow or Edmonds? Just curious. mistofleas   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 05:25 PM (EST) 31. "RE: You TOO, Sherpa????" >Being a woman who has made >the decision to never have >a child, sometimes I just >sit and (though it's rather >rude) stare at pregnant women. > I find them beautiful >and mysterious, full of the >ancient power of the universe. I'm with you there. The whole pregnant glow thing that people talk about is real. Some of my wife's sexiest days have been when she was eight months pregnant. >By the by...Sherpa, you mentioned Olymipic >peninsula, which ferry, Winslow or >Edmonds? Just curious. Bremerton, actually. So it would have been an hour-long ferry ride instead of the 30-35 minutes that the other ferries take.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mistofleas 8043 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 05:33 PM (EST) 33. "RE: You TOO, Sherpa????" Mr.Fleas is from Seattle and still has tons of family up there. We spent our honeymoon in Seguin, Port Orchard and the like. His family has a wonderful cabin on Hood Canal where I tasted my first ever live, from the ocean, oyster! Reached down and scooped that little sucker up myself. There was even a pearl in it. It may seem silly, but I was a very happy camper that day. Then...back to Texas *sigh* (oh and doncha know that lines gonna get my butt kicked by Ebug and Dalton!) *winces and gets ready* mistofleas   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Dalton 1271 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 05-18-01, 09:15 PM (EST) 41. "RE: For Misty and Liza & all the girls......." Mother Dalton understands the WISDOM of some females breeding and some NOT -- the WISDOM of some females choosing ONLY the best examples of males available to breed with or not. Dalton (aka: MN) has BIRTHED litters of puppies, kittens, piglets, cardinals, chickens, canaries, tropical fish, and helped with BIRTHING cows, horses and one deer & a raccoon. I personally gave birth to my son in 1:36 ---cause I had the lazy kid by "induced labor" on Appointment .....I was sitting up in my labor room in complete make-up, hair styled, smoking a cigarette, checking my watch and chatting with the assorted kith&kin....when Ooops, I had 3 labor pains in 10 minutes and the Dr. said: "Everybody who AIN'T giving birth; get the hell out of here now!" Dalton believes in natural all the way Jose.....but shhhh, don't tell; they gave me whiffs of laughing gas and the whole experience was like a really funny experience. Five hours later I was walking around carrying my baby and trying to make crowd in my room go home for cripes sake. And Lisa....when Dalton thought she was SO SMART....married 3 years, have a 3 year old son --- We inherited two nieces and a nephew. BAM!! POW!! I am the Mother of FOUR kids and I am only 12 years older than the eldest; gave birth to the baby; and am 12 years younger and STUPIDER than the Mother they lost. That part of "mothering" is hard sh!t!!! Note: SherpaDave, in his app. said married; said 2 young kids; but said SQUAT about "wonderful wife" <wink:hint> How about a Reward Challenge be each Team can "Birth" a giraffe baby.....the team that does the calmest, nicest job and gets the baby standing first WINS!!! Now that's entertainment..... Meanwhile GIRLS....start hiding all the extra goodies we are going to need....anybody notice the Clown gave GT a "SoapBox"....but we didn't get a friggin mirror!!!! This "WALL" crapola is truly going to work...you moron!! NOT even a little. Suggestion to all concerned how to get your initial "screwing the clown/producer/boss" accomplished.....Hell, Dalton just private emailed hers!!! Bye, Dalton M. Nature "Ooooooh, I hear laughter in the rain..."   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 06:10 PM (EST) 34. "Kids, huh?" I bet that firetruck will be his lasting memory of that day! My son also slept through the Big Event--came out of his room in a panic (an hour after it was all over) and said, "My alarm didn 't go off and YOU FORGOT TO WAKE ME UP!! I MISSED THE BUS!!!!!!" When we told him we let him sleep on purpose (and why), his main reaction was, "YEAH! Does that mean I can ride my bike all day?!" and so he did--went around our little driveway alllllllll day long. . . GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 06:31 PM (EST) 36. "RE: Kids, huh?" LAST EDITED ON 05-18-01 AT 06:35 PM (EST) Edited to add: btw, I'm in "I'm not worthy" awe of you, too. ANY woman who's been through childbirth (particularly while awake, and especially if without drugs) blows my mind. >I bet that firetruck will be >his lasting memory of that >day! My son also slept >through the Big Event--came out >of his room in a >panic (an hour after it >was all over) and said, >"My alarm didn 't go >off and YOU FORGOT TO >WAKE ME UP!! I MISSED >THE BUS!!!!!!" When we told >him we let him sleep >on purpose (and why), his >main reaction was, "YEAH! Does >that mean I can ride >my bike all day?!" and >so he did--went around our >little driveway alllllllll day long. Kids are awsome, aren't they? Even when I took him to the hospital to see Mommy and his new little brother, was he interested? Nooooo. The EMT's were still at the hospital, so he only had eyes for them. Btw, if we have any EMT's here on the boards, I love you guys. Thanks for doing the job you do. Our crew invited us out to the fire station (which we visited the following week). One guy showed our older son all around, let him sit in the truck, wear the gear, turn on the lights, etc. while the others oohed and aahed over the little man they helped bring into the world. Just an amazing group of people.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Kismet 802 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 05-20-01, 06:41 AM (EST) 56. "Labor Stories" I can't resist telling mine too since we're here. But before I do I must say as respectfully as possible.. "You're all nuts!" Why does anyone have natural childbirth in this day and age? We have all of these fabulous wonder drugs, that, if given at the proper time, pose little to no risk to the baby or the mother. Hospitals now-a-days have all kinds of labor options from 'walking epidurals' to water births. There is a competition here in the Dallas hospitals to get the women to pick them. One of them offers a lobster dinner and champagne to the new moms after delivery. I totally agree with AyaK on the dangers of at home births. Congrats on your little one Dave(Thanks for the pictures he's adorable!) On to my labor story. I started having 'really bad cramps' a month before my due date. My husband didn't have a class until afternoon and I had my biweekly dr's appointment at 10:30 that morning. I told said hubby he didn't have to go and could sleep late. (Can't imagine getting to sleep until 10am nowadays!!) I started getting cramps and figurted these were those Braxton Hicks (false labor)pains. But they started getting really bad so I woke Jason up and asked him to drive me to the doctor. We had a huge fight because he couldn't find his baseball cap and didn't have time to take a shower. My appointments only took about 10 minutes so I told him he could wait in the car. So I get to the doctor and tell the nurse that I want him to check me today. (I felt I might possibly be dilating a little. So the doctor comes in and checks and then says "you're dilated to about 6 or seven you need to get to the hospital now." I burst into tears with pictures of premie babies in incubators and he tells me that the baby is fine. So I run out to the car and tell Jason 'we're having a baby, drive me to the hospital' We have yet another argument in the car about how I shouldn't joke about such things. The look on his face when he realized I was serious was priceless. So we get to the hospital and Jason leaves to go get all of my crap, clean the house, and shower. He was back before it was humanly possible(he went into an alternate dimension I swear!). 3 and a half hours later I had my son. I had two epidurals because the first one didn't take effect and I didn't get the second one until 5 minutes before delivery, so I got as close as I would ever want to natural childbirth. David ws 6lbs 10 oz and nothing was wrong with him at all. We think they messed up on the due date. My daughter was easier/harder. I went into labor two months before my due date and was on this horrible drug that stops labor and bedrest for a month. He might as well have put me in an insane asylum. David was 15 mos and not walking and bedrest was not really possible, but I tried . Anyway when he finally took me of the meds I went into labor 24hrs later. It was a four hour labor as well, but I got the yummy drugs faster so it was much easier. The sad thing is that Beth only weighed 5lbs 9ozs and she was 'term'. I know y'all don't care about this, but , everyone woman wants to brag about her kids. This is what OT is for anyway! Kismet   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Riordan 634 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 05-20-01, 08:22 AM (EST) 57. "RE: Labor Stories" Ditto Kismet's comments above. I respect and admire all of you. I also respect that you made a choice that was important to you, and I do know the arguments in favor of natural childbirth. BUT IMO, natural childbirth now (as opposed to when they put you to sleep, etc) is the equivalent of going to the dentist and saying, "No, no Novocaine for me. I want to have my root canal done naturally." Would you, would you really? My daughter didn't give me an option. They had to drag her out (c-section) kicking and screaming a week late. For the record, not all doctors are fans of cutting you open. Some (mine) make you "try" first. Not a very pleasant experience when you fail. Sort of like go run five miles then we will do major surgery on you. Rio   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-20-01, 07:31 PM (EST) 59. "It doesn't HAVE to hurt, people!" That's largely a result of expectations. Yes, it feels strong, but if you don't fight the weirdness, it's quite trippy and fun! I never felt like it was an option to "save" me any discomfort and then have my kid all doped up. My first (c-section) was so groggy, we had to wake him to nurse for three days! (Of course, he made up for it by being latched on for a year. . . ) *puts away the soapbox* GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

shakes the clown 3366 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 06:29 PM (EST) 35. "let the bashing begin (we'll start with Dalton)" >****Whoa Up there Dave!! For >all you nerds/geeks/fanatics >peeps who DON'T know...Dalton is 5'5"; >108 lbs; good teeth; >dark hair/eyes.... 108!!!!!!! Maybe you didn't read the fine print on the application, but this is a TV show, not "Fat Kids Camp"! That number better read an even 100 by the time we start shooting. If I wanted Nell Carter, I'd have gotten Nell Carter...its not like she's not available. >This is well demonstrated by the >fact that Dalton has never >posted anything admiring or PRO--Stacy Stillman!! >BUT the >CLOWN >already has HER listed as my >"hero". ....and, your point is? Don't tell me that you actually believed that I was going to let factual evidence get in the way of my journalistic vision. If you did, you're in for a rough ride on this one....buckle up, baby! >>So, Shakes... who is Jiffy? ....the identity of the host will be announced some time this weekend, coinciding with the announcement of the male castmembers. >BESIDES SHAKES.....GT and DALTON sure as >HELL don't want to >be in your show if we >have to be on DIFFERENT >TEAMS and if >you put the TWO of us >on the SAME TEAM.....well we >would... ....tribe affiliation will not be announced until the very first episode. >ooooooh, just never ya mind. >NOTE: I'm ONLY speaking >for >ME.....but I bet that's how GT >feels too. .....one thing I can tell you with certainty....the producer of this show could not care less about the feelings of the contestants......to him, the contestants are pieces of meat, demographic pie chart slices and ratings share decimal points. > >So....please DK or Cher or Vamp....somebody >TALK to the damn >CLOWN.....before this goes any further. ....keep something else in mind....please review your contract under the section titled "Absolutely no contact is permissible between the talent and the production team" In this business, this is called "respecting the wall" and it refers to the imaginary wall that exists between the crew and the cast...the wall is there at all times and must not be scaled. So ladies, just sit back, look pretty and leave the driving to me....cause you don't have a choice anyway. >   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-18-01, 06:36 PM (EST) 37. "RE: let the bashing begin " >....keep something else in mind....please review >your contract under the section >titled "Absolutely no contact is >permissible between the talent and >the production team" In >this business, this is called >"respecting the wall" and it >refers to the imaginary wall >that exists between the crew >and the cast...the wall is >there at all times and >must not be scaled. Well then, how exactly are we supposed to have sex with you? Or do fall under some category other than "production team"? Already a bunch of false promises..... dangerkitty "Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-18-01, 07:03 PM (EST) 39. "Terminology" >Well then, how exactly are we supposed to have sex with >you? Or do fall under some category other than "production team"? I think the "sex with shakes" occurs during preproduction ...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-18-01, 09:34 PM (EST) 42. "RE: let the bashing begin " >Already a bunch of false promises..... *** Yeah! Stupid Clown - he's probably not gonna do that thing with the whipped cream and the Play-doh like he promised...(*sulk!*) ************************************** W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 06:37 PM (EST) 38. "RE: let the bashing begin (we'll start with Dalton)" >contestants......to him, the contestants are >pieces of meat, demographic pie Pieces of meat? Maybe I've got a shot, after all. Mmmmm.... demographic pie....   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 07:19 PM (EST) 40. "RE: let the bashing begin (we'll start with Dalton)" >"Absolutely no contact is permissible between the talent and the production team" Howinthehell are we supposed to have our Clown-sex, then, huh? And if you're limiting that to pre-production, I don't think I got any! What'samatta? afraid we'll like it too much and you won't be able to keep up? or can't you keep up, already? I, personally, was expecting that weekly sex would play a big part in my longevity. . . And Dalton--if he won't let you do your thing as the Grand Inquizitor at TC, I think you ought to use that Mother Earth approach, anyway. It's already injected some badly-needed drama, common sense, and a general air of fear & loathing. GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Kismet 802 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 05-18-01, 09:54 PM (EST) 43. "Did anyone else just get chills?" You are one scary clown! This is a brilliant. You get to write up the stories and then flame the characters for the stupid actions you make them take. I never fully got the machiavellian aspect of this before. You are an evil genius, and I'm so glad I didn't make the cut(although my secret masochistic side is highly disappointed lol). I can't wait to read the show! Kismet   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Mon Cherie 1811 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser" 05-18-01, 05:30 PM (EST) 32. "RE: Let's meet the ladies of Shakesvivor!" OMG <click> I made the cut! (Insert 2 minute acceptance speech) Mon Cherie Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-18-01, 09:59 PM (EST) 44. "Naive?" It seems like some people who filled out applications, don't really understand the way the Shakes game is played. You DON'T get choices. You don't get to review what Shakes has you saying or doing. YOU applied , YOU live with the results. Like you GET a vote????? Ha Ha Ha Frankly Dalton, I am shocked that it sounds as if you are trying to bail out of this ( Mother Nature?) Like Shakes is gonna write " then Dalton made it rain and the camp was flooded" Trying to back pedal, Sunshine??? ( your application was wonderful, so I don't get it) But Dalton isn't the only one. Did you all not read this sh*t before you signed up???? What? Is leaving your personna in the hands of the Clown who flamed you ,( or at least you witnessed others being flamed by ) is that now uncomfortable to you????? AHH Hell Ladies, I promised to sleep with the Clown, if he wouldn't put me in the show. See the Bug thinks ahead. You all will be starvin' and back stabbing and wrecking your skin in the sun, while the Bug will be comfy cozy, drinking cocktails and Blowin' the Clown in a luxury Hotel room. Kinda sucks huh? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha EBug I.L.S.F.C.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-18-01, 11:37 PM (EST) 45. "RE: Naive? Sadly, not." Why, eBug!--I'm almost shocked at your ability to be so wicked! Look at what a depraved and corrupt group we've become, and we're still only in pre-production! Strangely, I'm starting to feel like we're becoming uncomfortably akin to the Manson Family. . . I suppose in a couple months we're likely to be sitting together in a courtroom--in rubber noses and fright wigs, as a sign of unity--smiling mindlessly at our leader/nemesis as he fights for his freedom! "Yeeahh, my womens is WITCHY," he'll say on the Oprah interview. . . "but I never tol' 'em to lick them frogs an' pelt the wildlife with parrot sh¡t an' coconuts! They did that all 'emselves, jes' like they wuz the ones to start all them OR-gies! An' besides--even endangered species are subject to the ravages of nature, an' that's all this wuuuuzz! They didn't kill more'n they needed to sur-VIVE! An' as far as keeping the PPV proceeds to m'self. . . they wuz ALL cool with that, maaaaaaan--besides, I got ex-PEN-ses to cover, ya dig? Now--how'd ya like to be the first one to air my latest song, 'There's Always Room For One More Under My Big Top'? . . . or would you like me to give you a private taste of what ah'm a'talkin' about, Miss Ofah? We DO have a commercial break cummin' up!" *wink wink* And the next thing you know, we will all be forgotten, and Shakes will move on to his next conquests. . . Oh, the humanity! GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-19-01, 00:27 AM (EST) 46. "An FZ theme for shakes?" After reading GT's description of shakes' interview, it occurred to me that shakes needs his own theme song from the Frank Zappa collection. And what else could it be but ... "Willie the Pimp"?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-19-01, 00:48 AM (EST) 48. "RE: An FZ theme for shakes?" LAST EDITED ON 05-19-01 AT 01:20 AM (EST) Oooh--I think something from the King of Satire would be highly appropriate--excellent choice! (But I did get a shiver when I considered the possibility that he might just fit the profile of The Illinois Enema Bandit. . . Ouch!) Marginal possibilities for sub-plots? That Evil Prince, Harder Than Your Husband, Uncle Meat? (or so I'm sure he would have us believe. . .) Is it my imagination, or has this venture headed down a decidedly X-rated path? GT Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Edited: the-that, same difference!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Dalton 1271 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson" 05-19-01, 01:21 AM (EST) 51. "RE: For AyaK & GT......" This is waaay tooo funny. And HERE IS WHAT I CAN'T BELIEVE....He's caused this much crapola on OT and Bashers...I don't check the others... AND SHAKES HAS YET TO NAME EIGHT MEN!!! EBug could have EASILY gone in my place... Hell yes; I'm backpeddling as fast as I can... All the MEN, except the sane one's are encouraging Shakes....hell, some are out right fighting for the slots. ICM, Sleeeves, etc??? This IS going to get u.g.l.y....hehehe. AyaK...in my orig. app. you were my "pick" for reward challenge winner's visitor. Now that the meaning has been bent to "swappin fluids"... well, I'm sticking with my orig. app. "pick". And GT...ya know Shakes won't let us be on the same side...he's just going to make US the meanies....while his lil "nibblets" get all the fun and action. Confession: I actually posted TO "OutFrontGirl" on Bashers that she should scramble her tail over to the same discussion on OT...DUH..hint! Your "Manson" thingy was too weird and too close to home girl. NOnonononononono! I didn't list "DeProgrammer" on my resume but....Injured Bats have been known to land in my hair. EBug was actually snippy; wasn't she?? LMAO!! I was going to tell her I loved her little LadyBug she got crawling b/f....Shakes could still "disqualify" Dalton and EBeautiful would fly in as a last minute replacement.....there ya go!!! Dalton "If you've got the Nature; I've got the Time."   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-19-01, 02:03 AM (EST) 53. "RE: For AyaK & GT......" I'm thrilled to see I'm not the only insomniac. . . >Confession: I actually posted TO "OutFrontGirl" on Bashers that she should scramble her tail over to the same >discussion on OT...DUH..hint! I saw that--figured you were just looking to co-opt the use of her bong! I have yet to see her, though--she'd better move her ass faster than that for the upcoming challenges! >ya know Shakes won't let us be on the same side...he's just going to make US the >meanies....while his lil "nibblets" get all the fun and action. We'll fool 'em, girl--our alliance will transcend time, space, and tribal boundaries (and even if we don't make it far in the game--inconceivable as that may sound--they will never know how much control we can wrangle behind the scenes!). But I do think Shakes is mature beyond his years, and has such a wicked streak in him that only an equally-strong, REAL woman really satisfies. . . You notice you were the first one he picked on. . . >EBug was actually snippy; wasn't she?? Yes, she was! (also LMAO) Kinda took me aback! That's what originally triggered my Manson Family ramble, lest you think the insanity was all mine. . . Crap. . . it just occurred to me that since we don't actually get input into our characters, everything we do and say on the boards is probably fodder for Shakes' Evil Survivorama. . . (Gawd, I hope I didn't do anything that might appear to be picking my nose or something!) GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 05-19-01, 03:36 PM (EST) 54. "Shakesvivor?" >Shakes' Evil Survivorama What a perfect name! Shakesvivor may be catchier, but this is far more descriptive...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest" 05-20-01, 09:05 PM (EST) 60. "RE: Shakesvivor?" >>Shakes' Evil Survivorama > >What a perfect name! Shakesvivor may be catchier, but this is far more descriptive... How flattering of you to say so--but I'm afraid that the first one stuck (sounds like it was coined by Sur-vist, doesn't it?). As you are the most likely candidate for host of the show, you are free to interject whatever you want, of course! (Anyone else having problems figuring out where one universe ends and the next one begins? It could just be my history of psychedelics, but I'm having trouble--between the real me, the boards, BA's alternate reality, and now Shakes' game, I feel like I'm meeting myself coming and going! But I think I mean that in a good way.) Just call me Survivorama Mama! (oh, no! maybe I should be a cock-teaser for Survivorama! . . . Guess I have an opportunity to use 'em all, huh?) GT   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Outfrontgirl 6830 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 05-19-01, 03:43 PM (EST) 55. "Apologies for being out of it, but I've finally found the thread" First, to Dalton and Dangerkitty, I'm stunned with pleasure at having such nice things said about me on the basher thread. And yes, Dalton, I absolutely took you up on your invitation to come look at Bashers, only I only read rather than posted because I was caught up in the spoiling aspect. I do want to be a Basherbabe, I do, I do, if I only have the nerve. And Aya K, thank you for all your kindness too. Does your post mean you did go to law school? I haven't but I've taken law classes. Tell us more about how public policy clashes with the legal rules; will that come into play with Shakesivor? The funny thing I got from being around litigators is the weird position of being 95% sure you'll settle before trial, but you have to do everything/lay all groundwork as if you were going to a jury; on the other hand, never really think beyond the task at hand because seeing the Gestalt's too much work to put into something that might settle in a week and get off your calendar permanently. So, on one hand you're trying to get out early before you get all stressed and hungry, ala Bitchell, but on the other hand, what if you end up staying the course and addressing the jury. Hmmm, I hadn't really thought about it, but MB turns the whole jury concept on its head by picking jurors with a direct line to the parties they're judging instead of jurors who only see and hear what the court deems relevant and proper. But I digress. Aya K, you listen to Zappa and know great sci-fi. More points as if you needed any. I have a couple Zappa stories. I went to high school in his hometown and my ex-husband went to high school with Captain Beefheart (mentored by Zappa, in case the connection's not clear, except that Zappa was fiercely anti-drugs and Beefhart used to dose his band members, as I understand it). We ended up letting one of the Magic Band members park his travel trailer on our property and recover from the mindgames. My current husband was making experimental films when a friend referred a young screenwriter to him. The friend was Zappa's English teacher and the Frank had a screenplay. Unfortunately, there was no way back then to make all those special effects, especially without a budget. But my husband and Frank did meet, and then my H did a bad at a party at Frank's house and slipped him some acid to him thinking he needed to loosen up (disclaimer: all fiction, never happened). But who knows, he may have caused some new and different synnaptical connections. To other topic: I have so enjoyed hearing all these birth stories! Sherpa Dave, I spent a winter on the Olympic Peninsula I'll never forget, 130" of rain. We were living in a homemade camper with our 15 month old son in Beaver and then Forks, til we moved into an old homestead on the Bogachiel River with no power, of course, water from a well that you had to pull up by hand in after throwing the bucket down just right, and an old 2-seater outhouse (two different sized holes). My son was toilet-trained at 18 months because we had to throw all the diapers away and couldn't afford Pampers. No, he wasn't traumatized; he was into it. That's where my second son was conceived, so I'm kind of sentimental about the place. We had a wild pony and a herd of elk living in the yard. With my first son, we were going to have him at home because the hospital had mandatory spinals, no pushing allowed. Then my in-laws showed up (they owned our house) just prior to delivery and decided to remodel the house. While I was in labor, my father-in-law was outside the door hammering away like no way was this going to keep him from having a productive work day. Then my mother-in-law calls the public health nurse, she shows up and says I'm not properly dilating--must rush to hospital. So off we go and spend my next hour answering paperwork questions between contractions. Then they leave me alone in a room. No help, just mad because they didn't get to prep me (shave and enema, that's another thing they did in the bad-old-days). Then, half an hour later, baby born with no drugs, just fine. That said, with No. 2 we left on our 60 mile drive (around hairpin curves on Hwy 1) to the hospital at the first pain! I had no clue what I was doing the first time; I was just lucky. Anyway, love hearing all these stories and specs. Will keep reading and return after my finals are over. That's the mundane secret behind my absence. Love, Outfrontgirl   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 06-17-01, 11:53 PM (EST) 61. "Archives? Not yet" I'm keeping this thread out of archives as well, but I'm going to let the rest of the early Shakevivor threads drop in -- hopefully, I can get them out when the new BlowsVivor forum gets going....   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 08-13-02, 06:41 PM (EST) 62. "Wrong!" Instead, I learned that once something drops INTO archives, it NEVER comes out...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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