And that marks the official end of the career.

http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/american-idol-may-reportedly-revamp-entire-judging-panel-add-adam-lambert-as-judge-13626.php

I won't argue that the panel needs a desperate 'fire everybody on all levels and with Nigel, use a cannon' revamp, but I don't think Adam is the solution. He made a decent mentor in his one try at it, but actual judging (which hasn't been seen in two seasons) is another matter. And can he really work on a show which refuses to let him discuss his life, causes, beliefs, and existence in any way? Gonna be one fascinating no-talking contract...

For now, I'm filing this under Too Good To Be True: not getting Adam, but losing Randy, Steven, and Nigel in one fell chop. And even that won't fix the show. There are a lot of things which would help fix the show, and all of them require actual thought from a network. Not. Going. To. Happen.

But it's fun to watch them not try.

• RE: Adam Lambert, judge?,Snidget, 10:24 PM, 07-09-12
  • RE: Adam Lambert, judge?,Estee, 07:59 AM, 07-10-12
• And for a complete replacement...,Estee, 03:22 PM, 07-10-12
  • RE: And for a complete replacement...,Snidget, 06:54 AM, 07-11-12
    • RE: And for a complete replacement...,byoffer, 09:14 AM, 07-11-12
      • RE: And for a complete replacement...,Snidget, 08:58 PM, 07-12-12
  • RE: And for a complete replacement...,Belle Book, 10:56 AM, 07-11-12
• Nigel's just amusing himself.,Estee, 03:08 PM, 07-11-12
• One seat opens.,Estee, 07:19 PM, 07-12-12
  • RE: One seat opens.,Snidget, 01:44 PM, 07-13-12
    • RE: One seat opens.,Estee, 07:33 PM, 07-13-12
      • RE: One seat opens.,AyaK, 08:01 PM, 07-16-12
        • RE: One seat opens.,Estee, 11:54 AM, 07-17-12
• Crabgrass Randy.,Estee, 01:08 PM, 07-13-12
• Aretha Franklin volunteers for a seat.,Estee, 03:40 PM, 07-15-12
  • RE: Aretha Franklin volunteers for a seat.,TWoman, 03:53 PM, 07-15-12
    • RE: Aretha Franklin volunteers for a seat.,Estee, 11:46 AM, 07-17-12
• Mariah supposedly in.,Estee, 01:51 PM, 07-21-12
  • Mariah officially in.,Estee, 06:51 AM, 07-24-12
• RE: Adam Lambert, judge?,ellen8, 01:02 PM, 07-25-12
• Mariah's chosen FOX picture.,Estee, 05:11 PM, 07-26-12
  • Earlier that day...,Starshine, 05:51 PM, 07-26-12
• Next rumor: Nick Jonas.,Estee, 06:50 PM, 08-01-12
• Sean Combs,Estee, 08:04 AM, 08-11-12
• Nicki Minaj & Keith Urban,Estee, 10:49 AM, 08-25-12
• Back to four?,Estee, 10:41 AM, 08-31-12
• Enrique Iglesias as the fourth? ,Estee, 06:24 PM, 09-07-12
• RE: Adam Lambert, judge?,katcelebcafe, 11:24 AM, 10-03-12

Well that frees up some time in my schedule next spring.

Officially handing out invitations for the Party Of None, Pinkie Pie?

This is what it takes to drive you away from the crash site? I thought they'd need at least six more explosions, four gas leaks, and a toxic spill from Steven's face. One little dye addict and you're out? If only they'd known how simple it was all along.

Maybe they can pair Adam with Lee DeWyze. It's not as if that one has anything else to do.

How do you like this rumored trio? Adam Lambert, Clay Aiken, and Kellie Pickler.

And now a brief pause while the heartland tries to figure out how to burn two-thirds of a TV.

Poor Kellie, getting caught between the Claymates and the Lambert fans. Her, um shoes, are not going to be nearly enough padding.

Didn't I read that she had, um, inserts put in her, um, shoes.

It seems that way

http://bumpshack.com/2007/03/03/kellie-pickler-shows-off-her-investments-on-idol/

I'd rather have Adam (and Kellie, for that matter) as a judge rather than as a singer. I rarely could stand Adam's singing style. His version of "Ring of Fire" still is a moment I wish had never occurred!

http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/10/american-idol-nigel-lythgoe-charlie-sheen-and-jerry-lewis-jennifer-lopez/

http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/11/charlie-sheen-american-idol-judge-deal/

Either that or this is the classic Hollywood trick: if you know you're about to lose your job, set things up so the next guy loses his too...

...nah. Not even Faux is this desperate.

LAST EDITED ON 07-12-12 AT 07:41 PM (EST)

Steven Tyler is officially off the panel.

And with that, the world becomes a little safer for underage contestants everywhere.

ETA: Within minutes of posting this, the Worsters pointed me at a People article which has Jennifer speaking about leaving on this morning's Today Show. This could be her 'Pay me still more money or else!' gambit for a nowhere-near-record-breaking second year in a row -- or she could be walking. Or possibly, given the way people reacted to this no-criticism trio over the last two seasons, she's being pushed.

Stay tuned.

Inteview with Ryan also says she is quitting.

http://www.tmz.com/2012/07/13/jennifer-lopez-quits-american-idol/

...wow.

This is turning into the kind of massacre you usually only see when a corporation or government changes hands. Randy had better step down voluntarily or he'll be the victim of a drive-by media blitz. The Powers That Don't Think have decided who's to blame for the ratings drop & credibility blackout and surprise! It's not themselves. Fire everyone until the show works or the sets collapse into the resulting vacuum...

So who's going to approach RussHell and offer him a panel seat?

That's basically right that all the judges were fired. But Idol was killed in the key 12-34 demographic by The Voice this past year, and so TPTB at Fox really have no choice but to rebuild the show.

To be sure, many people realized at the time that the "stunt casting" of Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez was simply about ratings and not at all about talent evaluation. The idea that prevailed among TPTB was that Randy and the "mentors" could handle that, while JLo and Aerodruggie drew the crowds. The problem with that logic was that another network could trump JLo and Aerodruggie by using FOUR name celebrities, as The Voice did.

Simon Cowell was a unique personality and brought a unique edge to the show. The best evidence of what Idol lost when it lost him is the superhot boy band "One Direction", who were put together by Simon on the UK's The X Factor and then signed to Simon's label.

They just sold out their concert tour IN 2013 -- A FULL YEAR FROM NOW.

When the last seat shuffle wrapped up, I saw it as stunt casting with a faint note of hope: that maybe, just maybe, the replacements would be able to judge singing and convey their thoughts without resorting to Kara's scale of I Don't Care What's Good, I Care What Sells. And that went away the instant they opened their mouths, then stayed on vacation for two full seasons. They weren't critiquing performances: they were trying to create new religions. Worship the person currently on stage -- and then the next, and then a sacrifice for the next, virgins preferred... Well, this country has been begging for a pantheon-based faith.

Part of the audience drop was the aging music (styles, selection, and performances -- look at the guest stars for this year's finale), some of it was the lower quality of the contestants, but more than a little had to have been 'If I have to watch one more person fall into the lake while those three tell me they're walking on water, I'm going to kill something'. And something did die: the ratings. With The Voice, one judge could be biased for their own team, but the other three could cheerfully declare svck. Idol neutrality: praise everybody. Hosannahs to the highest! And the lowest! And whoever just dropped an anvil on their own feet!

So I thought they were fired/not fired all along: we'll let you leave gracefully as long as you leave. But the laugh may have been from Jennifer asking for a 2M raise before they tossed her. Because on the Jennifer pay scale, the less you contribute, the more you should make. So clearly they had to fire her immediately because at the rate she was going, another four years would have her owning Murdoch.

As for One Direction -- X-Factor ads are already trumpeting the idea of the show finding the Stateside equivalent. The Worsters, who can scent conspiracy earlier than most, believe this means two things:

1. Groups pushed in our faces from auditions to finale.
2. Simon mentors them.

You can't even cut off him off at the roots: the newest rumors say the show wants to put him in the mentor seat. Yeah, good luck making that work: mentoring generally requires some level of feedback other than You Are Jesus, unless you happen to get someone named Jesus. Was Jimmy getting that much backlash for pretending to be honest in the name of serving the Agenda?

Latest panel seat filler rumor: Mariah.

...gawds, this can't be good.

Well, she does fit the target demographic.

Actually, I could kinda see her in the matriarch role as long as she is balanced by two younger, more current judges. The show has really been missing a leader since Simon left.

I don't know if they can balance her -- or if they'll ultimately even bother to try. And no matter who's on the panel, the music has to get younger. Just about every time we got a remotely current song, the contestants dialed the style back to the 50s and beyond.

Let's face it: if this was an acting competition, they'd be filming in black & white and flashing title cards.

And Randy will take all the credit. Because he's worked with her. Not that he's ever mentioned that before. What up, dawg! (And with that, the hopes of getting him out drop by a lot.)

She'll supposedly get $17m for the season, which is both a giant raised middle finger towards Jennifer (as that's what the amount-with-raise that got her tossed) and a stupid decision for a show which was supposedly looking to save money anywhere they could. Mariah's paycheck pretty much means you can forget about opening up the song catalog unless you ultra-lowball the other panelists -- and probably even then. It's a singing show: why pay for new music?

I'll reserve all judgement on her ability to pick artists, offer criticism, and render fair verdicts until I see her in action. But a lot will depend on who they seat next to her. And while she might ultimately wind up as a strong choice (it's possible), they'd better get what they paid for -- because gawds, did they ever pay.

LAST EDITED ON 07-24-12 AT 06:57 AM (EST)

The bad news: this means not only are we never getting rid of Randy, his vocabulary is about to degenerate into one sentence: 'I work with Mariah.' And that's all he'll say. Ever. It will be his vote, his performance review, and his dinner order. And he will be paid millions for it.

Go ahead and cry. You've earned it.

(The odds also went way down for Aretha and Adam, as there's a per-panel diva limit. Additionally, while Nigel's opinion may not matter much longer, he's becoming irritated with Adam's fans Twitter-pushing him for the hire.)

ETA: Jennifer has a banner at the bottom of this page. It's the last involvement with the show she'll ever have.

Now they are saying Brad Paisley.
Might not be a bad idea with more and more
country contestants entering the fray.
Not looking forward to Mariah at all.
Need a breath of fresh air on the panel and Mariah is not that !!

I'm bringing this up because the Worsters think there's some very obvious Photoshopping going on here, starting with the left hand. Since when can't the network afford decent image alteration -- oh, right, all those people work for the news division...

Which means that no part of revamping the show is intended to release the death grip which the tweens and fraus have on it. If anything, this would just make it worse.

Pharrell Williams has also come up. A rapper's perspective might be interesting. Or at least different.

He only made you sing for ninety-six hours straight to test your work ethic. And destroy your vocal cords so his own discovery didn't have to worry about competing against you. The clause he put in your contract says you can never complain about it. Not even in sign language. Now get out.

...no.

Supposedly Mariah is freaking out about Nicki's possible inclusion in that 'only one queen in a hive' way, talking about how nothing in her contract has been finalized and she can back out any time she likes. The Worsters briefly celebrated, hoping Nicki would bring a touch of honesty to the proceedings -- but the producers will break her too.

As for Keith, I think Fox realized their candidates were getting the panel progressively closer to a total whiteout (which would scare off a good part of their WGWG-voting audience) and curved hard the other way. Of course, they managed to pick the one country singer who isn't actually American, and he did have a judge/coach role on the Australian version of The Voice, so who knows what his actual acceptance and availability are? He's supposedly signed, but...

Still nothing finalized, and we're getting close to the point where the panel (whoever they are) has to head into the audition cities for the predetermined selections. The network will be at deadline anxiety very soon now. Let's see if they panic.

That's the latest rumor, along with the network wanting Nicki more than ever because Mariah hates her and refuses to work with her at all. They think that'll make for exciting chemistry.

No, seriously. Imagine all the fun when Mariah refuses to vote for anyone Nicki likes and destroys hundreds of potential careers just for the sake of a petty diva feud. I'm sure that won't do any long-term damage at all.

The Diddy appears to be officially out, mostly because his contract terms asked for the entire network. He has to get paid. And he has to make sure no one else gets any. Ever.

So the Whitest White Power Network In The Whole Wide World is going for -- the Hispanic music viewership. Because they may not want any non-Caucasians to possess political power, but those advertising dollars and rating points? Bring them on.

I'm now expecting a push towards Latin singers this season. As in 'one, maybe two.'

Well the decision to put Nicki and Mariah on the same panel has already resulted in some spicy tv. They are both drama queens.. can't decide if fight is to raise viewing or if they genuinely just can't handle each other. Everyone should see this video of Nicki Minaj freaking out about an argument if a contestant should move on or not. jeez louise.

http://thecelebritycafe.com/feature/2012/10/nicki-minaj-curses-mariah-carey-american-idol-video