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Thread Number: 941
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Original Message
"Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Seana on 03-30-05 at 09:10 AM
Welcome to the Mazseirnetvawnflx Pans (thanks Lynn)!

How do you all like that twist, huh? Sleeping outside with the bugs and carnivores and such? Fun, wow!

Let's recap, shall we?

Rob and Amber's head start was pointless. Well, Rob had the right attitude there, anyway. But it's looking like Romber is a bit fixated on Romber. See how I took Rob to task there? Go me! I am the star of this show.

Ray and Deana got a Fast Forward and failed completely to use the inertia to any. effect. at all. Way to suck...it up...there. Yeah, you totally deserved to be eliminated, and not for the reason you gave. Good job to you guys for your gracious loser interview...or not. I give away cars better than Bob Barker, though, don't I?

Ron and Kelly...well, well...way to show what you're made of. And only what? 1 pageant and 2 Iraq references these last 2 legs? Pretty soon you won't be living in your past at all. That's progress.

Uchenna and Joyce, in a fun little twist, went the right way, while the other teams went the wrong way. Did you guys get a map-reading tutor?

Meredith and Gretchen, sorry I had to take all your stuff, guys. You know, I dislike having to take stuff from old people. Really, I do. Maybe next
season, I can take stuff from kids. That'll be fun. But you pulled it off and your haters got eliminated. Bet that's sweet.

Brian and Greg, I like you guys even more now. Beating Ray and Deana in a footrace? Love. it. Your concern for your cameraman touched my heart. Unlike someone else's callous disregard. And another someone else's posturing over his pointless "help".

And bringing up the rear, Lynn and Alex, to whom I bestow this week's Kendra Award for Cultural Sensitivity. Real city? Camels and chickens?
Compton?


So much to bash, so little space...

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"Loser Lodge"
Posted by trigirl on 03-30-05 at 10:20 AM
Hey Ray,

Na na na na na. See you at the lodge you bottom feeder!

"RE: Loser Lodge"
Posted by warp_core breach on 04-01-05 at 03:05 PM
It was bad enough racing with you bottom-feeders. Do you honestly think that because I'm out of the race that I'm going to hang out at the Loser Lodge with bottom-feeders? I don't think so! I've got myself a Rav 4 and driving away from all you bottom-feeders. You guys can have Deana!

We are soooo off!!



"RE: Loser Lodge"
Posted by seahorse on 04-01-05 at 11:07 PM
Ray you needed to get out thr race early so you would have adequate time to plan Deana and your wedding.



"Paid Wedding"
Posted by trigirl on 04-02-05 at 11:29 AM
Too bad you're not quite a big enough DAW Ray to get a CBS funded wedding like Rawb and Lamber.

Momma Sue

"RE: Paid Wedding"
Posted by seahorse on 04-02-05 at 04:36 PM
That's what I'm talkin' about.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by LibraRising on 03-30-05 at 12:55 PM
Anybody want to trade partners? Hubby's nice, but he's not so hot on directions. I had to tell him 20 times to go to that gas station, you know. Notice I was the one navigating when we found the airport. But, I guess he was really good at pounding that corn (no jokes please).

So, let's see. Who's gotten first place finishes? Debbie/Bianca. Rob/Amber. Lynn/Alex. Ray/Deana (WTF?). Now Ron/Kelly. Isn't our turn, hmmm, Phil?

And didn't you love my Hallmark moment at the orphanage? I know my next DAW role: an adoption PSA with Rosie O'Donnell and Wendy's founder Dave Thomas!

What do you mean, "he's dead?"


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-30-05 at 06:17 PM
Pans?! Do you see any Teflon anywhere around here, Alex? I sure don't! I don't think Martha Stewart has ever been here, except maybe for solitary!

Glad we got out of Jo'burg alive! That neighborhood was scary! Why couldn't we have gotten lost in an affluent Afrikaaner suburb or somesuch? They might have been better dressed, for one thing.

Did you see how we snookered Rob? Telling him there was no room in the van? We rule! Like he'd never do the same to us. Now, get your hissyfit ready for when he does so. Rehearse your hurt look. Also, keep writing those insults for him.

Everyone thinks we were grandstanding when we pulled over to check on Brian and Greg. Nonsense. We are humanitarians through and through. Witness our copious use of the term "bitches."

Yep, we live up to our moniker "The Happy Boys" more and more by the week!


Any surprise no one wants to play Alex?

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 03-31-05 at 08:29 AM
We'll see you guys when we're counting our million at the end of the race. They bring all the losers to the finish line.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Scuba Steve on 03-31-05 at 05:07 PM
We beat you this leg, though. In your face.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 03-31-05 at 11:08 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-05 AT 11:09 PM (EST)

You losers, what prize did you get for finishing first.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 04-01-05 at 02:38 AM
*eyes wide and fierce*
Yeah... what Rob said!
*runs behind Rob's coattails quickly*


See, I can make a decision...right, hun?

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Scuba Steve on 04-03-05 at 03:19 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-03-05 AT 03:23 PM (EST)

I don't need a prize. I'm a former POW.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by LibraRising on 04-01-05 at 12:10 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-01-05 AT 12:19 PM (EST)

Don't disrespect Mother Africa, now, boys.

ETF: wrong sig...oops!


Do you want me to call my friend Linda?

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 03-31-05 at 08:33 AM
To all who called us heartless for not stopping at the accident I remind you, "This is a race. Additionally neither Amber or I have any medical experience to offer to the other 8 or 9 people taking care of the hurt cameraman."


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by MissMyth on 03-31-05 at 02:16 PM
O.K. So what is up with no reward for an American hero and an American icon? Got something against the pretty people, Phil?

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-31-05 at 06:15 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-05 AT 06:18 PM (EST)

Thank you for putting us in the correct category.


We feel your pain.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 03-31-05 at 11:11 PM
No prizes are given to the losers. When they saw you guys coming, Phil said they would wait till next time to get a prize.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Seana on 04-01-05 at 09:03 AM
Seriously, if I was dishing out prizes based on who was a 'loser', would I have given those SUV's to Ray and Deana? I don't think so.

I'm also all about showing my objectivity. Witness my mat chat with Rob. (That'll learn ya to steal my spotlight. Geez, last season, the chicks were all over me - remember ChooChoo Charlie? - now, it's all about beating Rob and Amber. It's supposed to be all about me.)


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 04-01-05 at 11:05 AM
>- now, it's all about
>beating Rob and Amber.
>It's supposed to be all
>about me.)

What can I say, Phil. With the ratings as high as they are maybe CBS will hire me to replace you for TAR 8.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by LibraRising on 04-01-05 at 12:18 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-02-05 AT 00:21 AM (EST)

Don't think so, dear. It's all about diction.

No one can replace our Phil! (I'm saying this so we get a prize when we come in first.)

Would viewers want to hear you mumble every week: Holy canoli! A de-toor is a choice between two different tahsks, each with they're own pros and cahns?

Aardvark has only two syllables, BTW.

ETF: Kinda took the wind out of my joke when I mispelled "aardvark," huh?


Yet Fran Drescher gets another sitcom?

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-31-05 at 06:13 PM
Of course, you did stop to get your head examined. That's the first thing you've done right this whole race.

Oh, and how long did it take you to find an empty cab?


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 03-31-05 at 11:20 PM
LAST EDITED ON 04-01-05 AT 09:10 AM (EST)

Not long, the last I checked you are behind us at the latest pitstop.


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-31-05 at 11:42 PM
Maybe so, but it's not every day we get to frustrate the living baked beans right out of you. Can't take what you dish out, huh?


And here's the manuscript for our upcoming book, Reality Show Grandstanding Photo Ops For Beginners.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by bury_those_cockroaches on 03-31-05 at 06:00 PM
Ah......Yes.
The humor of it all. You people sure do know how to have fun. I truly enjoyed reading these. Amazing what a little creative thought and sarcasm can produce. Nice job people.
"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-31-05 at 06:08 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-05 AT 06:10 PM (EST)

How about joining us, BTC?

You wanna be Alex? Seems like you got the snark, and if you really hate them that much and have a sense of humor, you could have a field day!

Otherwise, you can be another unclaimed character (I think Meredith and Gretchen haven't been spoken for, nor have Brian or Greg), or you can chime in as non-racers (camerapeople, villagers/townspeople, food, etc.)


See? The opposite of love is indifference. (ETF typo)

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 03-31-05 at 11:14 PM
Lynn, you look cute in lipstick. Amber better watch it. Not!


"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-31-05 at 11:36 PM
I'm more a Hushed Heather myself, if you must know --


Why am I telling you this?!

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by mikey on 04-01-05 at 12:15 PM
"Hey Rob, do ya think anyone noticed I was the same woman that helped Amber at the market roadblock? When do I get my share of the million?"

-- South African woman judging Ray/Deana on the "food" detour.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 04-02-05 at 09:09 PM
Don't worry, we are going to take care of the masses that helped us when we win.

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 04-03-05 at 02:01 AM
I thought we were using the money to buy the Red Sox, hun...that's what you told me last week....
oh....no, you're right, hun...you NEVER said that...we are going to help all those wonderful people who helped us.....


*slinks back behind coattails*

"RE: Be the Amazing Racer 7.5/6"
Posted by seahorse on 04-03-05 at 08:10 PM
Don't worry, Phil. If CBS offers me your job, I am not sure I would take it anyway. I have to weigh my offers, you know.