LAST EDITED ON 04-01-09 AT 05:14 PM (EST)

All three teams begin at once. We race to our backpacks, and open our secret packets of instructions that have been place there.

"Find who is torturing Crabman, where they are torturing him and with what are they making his life a living hell".

Hmmmmm….this might take a while, I hope Abdulman isn’t in, like a hurry or anything. Nah, I'm sure he'd say something if he were in a real hurry...let's take our time and think this thru. Patience is a virtue. And nap times are important.

<hears a distant tortured cry…please help me… it hurts so gooooood! Please Mistress, more.....>

Well, I guess since he’s having all the fun, I’ll just turn on this conveniently placed House of Pain Cam , and submit myself to Mistress EmyDom’s weekly interrogation. First, I must perform the required self-flagulations….

Now, with sufficient blood flowing from newly opened wounds,

1. "Coach Moments: which Timbira member first says "Coach" in this week's episode? (4) EErriinn

2. No Stuff For You: Name 1 Survivor who does not participate in the Reward (3) Sierra

3. Again, who's Sappho?: Name the survivor who WILL be SENT by the other team to Exile and who does this person pick to go with him/her?(3)each Erin Sydney

4. Grabby Pants: Name 1 survivor who grabs the Tribal Immunity Idol from Jiffy (15) debby

5. Name the place the eventual bootee votes at at tribal council (20) 2nd.

Thank you for the pain, Mistress.

Now, to solve this perplexing punch in the solar plexus. I mean, our little Agbuddy, nice guy that he is, doesn’t get to have all the fun does he? T'isn’t fair. If anyboy gets to shine Mistress’s spike heels with their forehead and tongue, it should be me! Right? Right!

Who is the torturer? Who could it be?

Mistress Emydom comes to mind first, of course. She, with her PhD in Pain, the Mistress of Distress, she could be hanging Agdude by his nipples. And making him like it. From the pitiful wailing, she might have made the hanging even more ‘testi’, if you know what I mean.

Col. Gupperford T. Kingfish? Moi? Would I do such a thing to the Chief Naked Volleyball judge who if he came up missing I might inherit the responsibility of having to judge Oobie bounce from? Would I do such a lowdown dirty thing to my little bitty buddy just for a little titillation? (OK, I might just do that thing).

Prof. Whoami? Would he be capable of whateveritis? Could he be the Masked Torturer who is inflicting such pain on Crabman? Whoknows?

Miss D'Abby, aka Trixi the Whip, aka Trixi the Merciless Flesh Flayer, whose years of study and research into the most painful torture techniques have resulted in an understanding of the arts of flesh flensing unrivaled in the current era. TrixiDom wrote the book on PAIN, and could be adding a chapter or two right now.

Mrs. Lady June Bug is not a lady in the normal sense, but in the Lady of The Crypt sense. Newest Lady in the Dominion, she is still very capable of eliciting the screams of pain that we all can hear echoing throughout the dungeons and towers of the castle, causing all animals to wail and cower wide-eyed in corners and under furniture. She is widely renown for her artistry with fire and burning coals, but maybe she feels the compulsion to add to that reputation?

Mr. T. Phyl Nefarious Host. Mr Nepharious. Yes. Mr Phyl has proven time and time again his preference for pain over gain, for deception of perception, and for eye gouging, the two fingered method. Mr. Phyl, Aka Curley Hares, might just be making eyeball soup with Clabman’s tortured orbs. What else might he be thinking of adding to that soup? Aye, that is the grub!

Poor Adman, will he survive? Will he live to see the end of the tale? Will we recognize him if he does? Stay tuned dear reader, to see which way the rivers of blood will flow, and whether Agamemdude will survive with any recognizable portion of his corpus intact.

Now that we haven't settle that question, we need to tackle the "who" and the "with what" questions.

Tribe

This has the making of the most legendary season yet. We are faced with the heinous task of deciphering unfathomable clues, searching in dark icky places and going where no man, woman, or loser has had enough tequila to go before.

This is where we separate the losers from the uber-losers. Fasten your studded belts and corsets it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Grrrr It's best to play dead when sock puppets attack

Trying to pick out the ultimate torture for the Dude....

1. "Coach Moments: which Timbira member first says "Coach" in this week's episode? (4) Erinn.

2. No Stuff For You: Name 1 Survivor who does not participate in the Reward (3) Erinn.

3. Again, who's Sappho?: Name the survivor who WILL be SENT by the other team to Exile and who does this person pick to go with him/her?(3)each Tyson and he picks Joe.

4. Grabby Pants: Name 1 survivor who grabs the Tribal Immunity Idol from Jiffy (15) Sierra.

5. Name the place the eventual bootee votes at at tribal council (20) Second.

Belle Book

LAST EDITED ON 03-31-09 AT 03:22 PM (EST)

Wow.

That two week layoff sure did seem like a long time. I was about to start with some serious withdrawal symptoms (you wouldn't believe how close I came to actually switching over to watch DWTS!)

But anywho...

1. "Coach Moments: which Timbira member first says "Coach" in this week's episode?
Erinn I need the LOD points

2. No Stuff For You: Name 1 Survivor who does not participate in the Reward
Coach

3. Again, who's Sappho?: Name the survivor who WILL be SENT by the other team to Exile and who does this person pick to go with him/her?
Taj is sent and takes Brendan (yawn)

4. Grabby Pants: Name 1 survivor who grabs the Tribal Immunity Idol from Jiffy
Erinn

5. Name the place the eventual bootee votes at at tribal council
The bootee will vote at the voting podium.

oh, you mean what place in order? I'll say third

Zounds! Agman dos’t make sig!
Mole Speak -- it's updated