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Original Message
"Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"

Posted by Survivorchick on 09-28-01 at 01:47 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-28-01 AT 01:48 PM (EST)

As you are probably aware, I have maintained from the sight of the first contestant photo that Shakes the Clown is actually Bob. People on this site seem to run with the assumption that Shakes is Michael. On what is this assumption based? Shakes the Clown joined this community AFTER the filming of Love Cruise and told everyone that he is a 30 year old lawyer from Chicago. Is there more evidence that I'm not aware of? Maybe Shakes IS Bob, was embarassed about being sent packing to loser island on the first episode, and decided instead to pretend to be the coolest guy on the boat. Am I way off-base? Thoughts?

Survivorchick

edited for typos


Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by Poon_Toon_Tony on 09-28-01 at 01:52 PM
Any way you look at it, they're both ugly and idiotic as sin.

Bob looks like Kenny G. on crack and Micow looks like a Hebraic Torah reader, in drag.

Take yer pick... I'd rather be plankton attached to the boat than any male moron on that booz-crooz of cheese.

POON TOON TONY.


"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by Drive My Car on 09-28-01 at 02:50 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-28-01 AT 03:43 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 09-28-01 AT 02:56 PM (EST)

Well POON
Mike is a whole lot funnier then you.
Oh and guess what? He's on a TV show.
Jealous maybe?
I happen to think he is nice looking, and clever.
Most of the time the guys with the prettiest faces have nothing else to offer. Real women perfer men with personality.

( Oh and what kind of name is Poon Toon)

edited again to fix the part that made Homebrewer and Aya laugh,
I am so easily swayed by the laughter of men.



"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by HomeBrewer on 09-28-01 at 02:56 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-28-01 AT 02:58 PM (EST)

>
>( oh and what kind of
>name is PoonToon?)
>
>

I immediately thought Poon Toon Tony is on the show. We know her as Pontoon Toni..... You know... her surgically enhanced floaters.



“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” -Winston Churchill


"ROFL!"
Posted by AyaK on 09-28-01 at 02:59 PM
Love it, Buggy!

"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by Drive My Car on 09-28-01 at 03:00 PM

I removed that part of my post , looked back on it and thought it didn't sound very nice to make fun of someones name. I guess Homebrewer was just too quick for me.



"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by HomeBrewer on 09-28-01 at 03:06 PM
buggy,

I think you removed the best part of the message. I had to respond. You are growing soft with your increasing DAW level. Now edit again and put it back


“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” -Winston Churchill


"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by Drive My Car on 09-28-01 at 03:45 PM
You got it Honey!
By the way Brewer, nice to see you back with us



"Trashing names isn't your style"
Posted by Cherberrie on 09-28-01 at 06:48 PM
Hey DMC, I think you should edit it AGAIN and take it back out! Making fun of other poster's names is not your style (or at least it wasn't your style before I left the boards for the summer). I can see alot has changed in 3 short months.



Cherberrie


"To Cher"
Posted by AyaK on 09-28-01 at 06:57 PM
Cherberrie:

I didn't really think of EBug's comment as making fun of the poster's name. But I hadn't really even noticed the name until I read Buggy's comment, then I went back and looked at it again and started chuckling. I think "Poon_Toon_Tony" is a name chosen deliberately to invite chuckling when it's read, so I don't think Buggy was being insensitive. If I'm wrong, though, I'll apologize and I'll be happy to retract my earlier comment. Would PTTony care to enlighten us?

AyaK


"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by SurvivorBlows on 09-28-01 at 02:54 PM
Sorry Chickie, your off base -- shakes is Mike, I have plenty of proof (you think I'm that easy to convince???? )

-SB


"Agree"
Posted by AyaK on 09-28-01 at 02:57 PM
S-chick, long before I ever knew that "shakes the clown" was on a TV show, I knew his real name ... and after I found out he was on one, I looked up his professional credentials to verify his name. Trust me, he is NOT Bob, he's Michael.

"RE: Agree"
Posted by sleeeve on 09-28-01 at 05:13 PM
I, too, have proof, have found old papers by him, and have verified his identity...

What... is this some sort of mod convention???




You never know what might be up my sleeeve...

"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by SkyRaider on 09-28-01 at 03:16 PM
<Sorry Chickie, your off base -- shakes is Mike, I have plenty of proof (you think I'm that easy to convince???? )>

Wondering what kind of "plenty of proof" you saw... I'm just wildly guessing here...Bob isn't Jewish? And you're actually Dr. Skinner Back, the urologist doubling as a mole at bris? And Michael was one of your clients?

That only ENHANCES Michael's reputation, ya know? Or BELITTLES it.


"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by Outfrontgirl on 09-28-01 at 03:09 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-28-01 AT 03:13 PM (EST)

Awww, Chick, I have enjoyed your Shakes is Bob campaign from its beginning. I realize Shakes is Michael, but that doesn't keep me from enjoying your insistence that he's Bob. Don't let the silly facts keep you from having fun bashing.

LMAO here... because I know you know that Shakes makes fun of men with long hair... isn't that what initially clued you into the Bob ID, long before we knew he was the first off the boat?


"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by Survivorchick on 09-28-01 at 03:30 PM
Thanks OFG

> Don't let the silly
>facts keep you from having
>fun bashing.

I would never let "facts" get in the way of anything

>LMAO here... because I know you
>know that Shakes makes fun
>of men with long hair...
>isn't that what initially clued
>you into the Bob ID,
>long before we knew he
>was the first off the
>boat?

You're absolutely right! (In addition to the fact that Bob most resembles a clown)

Survivorchick


"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by George Tirebiter on 09-28-01 at 05:35 PM
I second that endorsement, Schick--I've loved the "shakes is Bob" argument! I only wonder why you hid this tendency toward the bizarre until now! Afraid to let us know how well you fit in with the misfits?


GT


"Fitting in"
Posted by Outfrontgirl on 09-28-01 at 06:39 PM
>>how well you fit in with the misfits?

Ahem, GT, there's something very wrong with this whole concept, but I can't quite get the pieces to misfit together enough to misplace it into words...

Maybe when I've seen a few more episodes of LC I'll get the picture as to how it all shakes out in Reality...TV, that is.


"RE: Fitting in"
Posted by George Tirebiter on 09-28-01 at 10:19 PM
> there's something very wrong with this whole concept
Holy cow! I didn't even notice that when I wrote it (you KNOW how tired I am!)--that DOES have a kind of "jumbo shrimp" thing happening, doesn't it? LMAO


GT


"I think I've got it now..."
Posted by boomerang on 09-28-01 at 04:18 PM
...Shakes/Webby/Michael are the same person.

"RE: I think I've got it now..."
Posted by MakeItStop on 09-28-01 at 05:30 PM
I like this theory... Webby has a sister, Shakes has a brother. Does Webby also have a brother? Does Shakes also have a sister? Hmmm... something to think about.

"RE: I think I've got it now..."
Posted by VampKira on 09-29-01 at 00:56 AM
>>Does Shakes also have a sister? Hmmm... something to think about.<<

As long as it's not supermanssister.. *shudder*
I can only imagine that shakessister would be 1O times as bad..



"The trick is to keep breathing...." - Garbage

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska!



"RE: Newsflash!! Shakes the Clown is REALLY Bob!"
Posted by dangerkitty on 09-28-01 at 05:46 PM
Gosh darn it, how many times do I have to tell you guys? Shakes is BA.

dangerkitty



"You made me drag it out again..."
Posted by sleeeve on 09-28-01 at 06:16 PM
===========================================
sleeeve 275 desperate attention whore postings

DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
04-19-01, 07:23 PM (EST)

Subject: "I know who shakes is!!!!!!!!!!!!"


I have done a considerable amount of independent research, and have read everyone's opinions as to the clown's true identity, and have finally come to a conclusion...

Shakes the clown is a closet lesbian with a penchant for Gouda who was formerly posting under the pseudonym BadAs, while simultaneously hosting this website as our beloved webmaster, SurvivorBlows. He has written every single summary ever posted on Survivor Blows, under the combined pseudonyms shakes the clown, Irisheyes, AyatollahKhomeini, and Island Heat. He also uses the pseudonym Leif, and is currently somewhere out of the country.

Shakes' true identity is Richard Hatch, who, coincidentally, is the Love Child of Vanessa Williams and Adam Sandler. He works for David Letterman, and may actually be Letterman during certain hours of the day, when he composes top ten lists under the screenname Superman, who is dead. Speaking of dead, shakes is both Andy Kaufmann and Bert Convey.

Although shakes is not a contestant on Survivor 2, he plays one on TV... actually he plays all of them, but most prominently Colby, Lizzy, and Jeff. He has also starred as both Greg and Colleen in Survivor One. When he was younger, he starred in The Muppets Meet The Wizard of Oz (which he also directed, created, and produced under the name Franz Oz). He was a former Miss America, but had to give up his crown in 1981 when he had an Endless Love affair with himself, and became the founding member of the W.L.S.W.E.T.F.H.I.F.C. (We Love Shakes Who Ever The Fvck He Is Fan Club).

On weekdays, he is the host of Comedy Central's Game Show Win Scott Baio's Money. He can be seen in the upcoming Fox TV show Love Cruise, where he will wow contestants with his ability to walk on water and rise from the dead after three days in a sealed tomb. In his free time, shakes works to spoil both Boot Camp and Survivor 2.

Despite his busy schedule, shakes still makes time for a successful legal career and writes best selling novels. His one complaint is that, due to a rare medical condition, he needs 12 hours of sleep a night. In a recent press conference, he said, "If I only had to sleep 8 hours a night, like average people, I could do so much more with my life."

He was immediately flamed by VampKira: "At least you can go out during the daytime... I have to sit in a fvcking coffin all day long and play on my computer."
===========================================



You never know what might be up my sleeeve...


"RE: You made me drag it out again..."
Posted by SkyRaider on 09-28-01 at 06:28 PM
All very, very good theories, Sleeeve, but.....

I'm still going with Mike as Bunky. The hair gives it away....Think Bunky with a full head of hair. Think Mike with a metallic disco shirt. Both sensitive guys....neither of them REALLY gets the girl..



"RE: You made me drag it out again..."
Posted by LadyT on 09-28-01 at 07:37 PM
I can state with great authority that Shakes has never ever ever been Irisheyes. Never will be Irisheyes, never was Irisheyes. She was evil and this Lady killed her

GOD BLESS AMERICA


"Shakes is not a clown..."
Posted by Kramer on 09-29-01 at 00:05 AM
LAST EDITED ON 09-29-01 AT 00:08 AM (EST)

Shakes is not a clown, nor is he Michael/Webby/Bunky or Bob...Shakes is a squirrel.

You see, this squirrel visits my deck every day. He knocks on my window so that I will go out there with a piece of bread and some peanut butter. He braves coming up on the deck, knocking on the window, yet when I go to hand him the treat, he shakes and shakes and shakes, so much that he even sometimes drops the piece of bread.

So, I have the proof, every single day, about 4:00 PM, knocking on my window...no clown, definitely a squirrel.

Kramer


"RE: Shakes is not a clown..."
Posted by SkyRaider on 09-29-01 at 00:35 AM
<So, I have the proof, every single day, about 4:00 PM, knocking on my window...no clown, definitely a squirrel.>

Well, Shakes is definetly squirrelly and he is perverted enough to be a Peeping Tom looking into the windows of women, and he is an ambulance chasing lawyer, who probably would work for peanuts.

Yeah, you could be right.....Hmmmm....



"Fuggin Two-timing Squirrel"
Posted by Outfrontgirl on 09-29-01 at 01:55 AM
Kramer, I'm shocked.
Proof positive that this cheeky squirrel scrounges bread off MY deck before heading out to yours. And I thought we had an "exclusive" understanding...

Love the way you described the "shakes" of the poor heroic adventurer, risking life and limb to raid the sourdough bread chunks so lovingly placed on the deck rail. Such a bold marauder until he's spotted--and then off like a bolt of lightening into the nearby tree... Whew! Escaped again...


Media whore: Shakes the Squirrel


"RE: Fuggin Two-timing Squirrel"
Posted by Kramer on 09-29-01 at 06:08 PM
OFG,

I am LMAO! Thanks for the picture, that is great! Wow, shakes the squirrel is cheating on me...I guess he will do anything for the next piece of ...... bread. (what did you think I was going to say there?? huh??)

Man, shakes the squirrel is gonna have a weight control issue to deal with if he doesn't stop whoring around for peanuts ;)

Kramer