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Original Message
"Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by HomeBrewer on 09-28-01 at 12:15 PM
Here is my first attempt at a Top Ten List....

From the home office in Suburban Chicago, Illinois, here is the Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot dance. Paul, You know Michael right?

Paul: I think Michael Jackson is a good dancer.

Dave: No, no, not that Michael. Michael is from “Love Cruise”, the new reality TV show on FOX.

Paul: Oh… With a name like “Love Cruise”, one would think Dancing would be a prerequisite.

Dave: Yes, you are right Paul. At any rate, Heeeeeere we go. The top ten reasons Michael cannot dance.

Number 10: It is too hard to talk and dance at the same time.

Number 9: The girls have never picked him to be their partner.

Number 8: His Mom never showed him the steps.

Number 7: He is too tired from staying up late. (i.e. Trying to mimic VampKira)

Number 6: By his own admission is White and Jewish

Number 5: His flames scare off all the instructors

Number 4: Accident victims rarely can dance after ride in Ambulance.

Number 3: He would have to share the stage with some other media whore. (NOTE: He got more attention Complaining and not Dancing…..)

Number 2: Michael SHAKES in all the wrong ways.

And the Number 1 reason Michael cannot dance: The Big Red Shoes just get in the way.


“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” -Winston Churchill

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by George Tirebiter on 09-28-01 at 12:23 PM
Ha! I wondered where you'd gotten to, Brewer. Good effort!

And you know what? When I first took a gander at the topic on the main page, I somehow KNEW what the #1 reason would be. . . (Have they even showed him below the knees? I've already been disappointed by the lack of red, pointy hair and greasepaint, so I hope they don't take the shoes away from me, as well.)


GT

"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by dangerkitty on 09-28-01 at 12:30 PM
Bwahahahaha HomeBrewer!! Nice list!

I think #10 could just have well have been #1.


dangerkitty


"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by moonbaby on 09-28-01 at 12:37 PM
Great list, HB!
"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by Survivorchick on 09-28-01 at 01:57 PM
ROFLMAO brewer!

Survivorchick

"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by Cherberrie on 09-28-01 at 03:20 PM

Number 2: Michael SHAKES in all the wrong ways.

Poor Micow.


Cherberrie

"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by Dalton on 09-28-01 at 03:23 PM
Great TTL HomeBrewer. Funny but too true!!

All you folks who don't have LC on TAPE --- I will tell you that during the one "Hot Seat" taping Michael was sitting with one leg propped up on the other. His ugly, floppy hat resting on his knee. The bottom of one foot was clearly visable...and through the miracle of "freeze frame" I determined Michael's TRUE shoe size must be 13 1/2.

So really those funny clown shoes are probably custom made.

Dalton

"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by sleeeve on 09-28-01 at 07:45 PM
> The bottom of one
>foot was clearly visable...and through
>the miracle of "freeze frame"
>I determined Michael's TRUE shoe
>size must be 13 1/2.

Just out of curiousity, but what did you compare his shoe to, when you made this determination?

I hope that it wasn't his head, because we all know how big that is .




You never know what might be up my sleeeve...
"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by samiam on 09-28-01 at 09:15 PM
Now, now. Michael wears "big, floppy shoes, but he's got little feet, like all good-hearted people." *grin*


"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by Drive My Car on 09-28-01 at 03:57 PM
Great list Brewer!!
Lots of Fun!!

( ponders Mike having Big Feet)


"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by LadyT on 09-28-01 at 07:42 PM
Awesome list Homebrewer

GOD BLESS AMERICA

"ROTF!!"
Posted by VampKira on 09-29-01 at 01:24 AM
ROTF!! Great job, HB!!


"The trick is to keep breathing...." - Garbage

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska!


"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by Circe on 09-29-01 at 11:45 AM
LOL HomeBrewer!!! Gotta love Number 3!!


~~Beware of Greeks bearing gifts~~

**Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce. Looks like it's Halloween on LC!***

"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by JulieMc on 09-30-01 at 04:47 PM
Great top ten!LOL I don't know about anyone else but i was really bummed about Mike not dancing in the salsa contest..lmao! I would have payed good money to see that..well not really but it would have been a hoot to watch
"RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Posted by Thrill Seeker on 10-01-01 at 02:59 PM
Maybe he dances maliciously?