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Original Message
"Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by savannah_allen on 10-18-05 at 03:51 PM
The life coaches surely have changed, I think they were all nice and caring in the beginning, their first season, like Rhonda first season she was so nice, quiet and caring, than the next season and this season she has a nasty attitude, same with Iyanla, last season, her first season she was dynamic, this season she seem like she want to hurry things but yet she's still caring. Now if any group of people Rhonda should of been mean with was the first season, that group was the ugliest, nastiest group of women I ever seen, yet Rhonda was so soft with them and the group of women we see today aren't as cruel but yet she's so tough. My problem is they barely hear people out before they criticize. I think these life coaches act too high and mighty like they know all. I think since the show change houses, cities and women, they should change life coaches every season, their are many just as good or better waiting for their chance like Rhonda and Iyanla once was, these two are burnt out. It's like they want these women to tell their whole life story so quickly and it seems they get some kind of satisfaction to make someone breakdown crying.
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Messages in this discussion
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by atzd on 10-18-05 at 09:28 PM
They should go! Even though I hate this "stay or go" game they constantly play on the women, I'm saying it to them. They are getting nasty, and running low on material so they are coming up with more and more outrageous assignments. They should get real psychologists in there, but of course most good ones would not agree to practice their profession in front of an audience.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Sharon_L on 10-18-05 at 09:50 PM

I say replace them both with the Super Nanny, Jo.
Just the threat of sitting on the 'naughty chair' would probably escalate whatever needs to take place to 'graduate' these women.

Of course, they should go! They've turned SOH into their own little goldmine and have too many agenda's. Dr. Stan - him, too. GO.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by savannah_allen on 10-19-05 at 06:54 AM
You all are right, it's time for new life coaches, if anything the life coaches need to practice what they preach.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by SpecialK25 on 10-19-05 at 09:30 AM
I would like to see new coaches come in. My absolute favorite was Rana, she was real and compassion and should empathy towards the women. Ilyana could be a little mean and harsh at times. Everyone needs someone to get on them from time to time, but not as much as she dishes out. I felt the only person who really stood up to her was Towanda. NEW COACHES!!!!!!!!!!!
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Labyrinth on 10-19-05 at 11:29 AM
>I say replace them both with
>the Super Nanny, Jo.

ROFLMAO!! Wow I would like to see that!

And all their family/enablers should be there too so they can be told how poor their parenting skills are


"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by womanevolving on 10-19-05 at 08:24 AM
I never got to see the first season but I love the way both life coaches approach the HGs. I've read several of both IV's and RB's books and trust their advice and guidance. there's so little we see on tv behind the scenes and the transformations of the HG's speak volumes. I sort of envy the HG's for their opportunity and courage to be there in the first place. my 2cents
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by kcoxe on 10-20-05 at 06:22 AM
>I never got to see the
>first season but I love
>the way both life coaches
>approach the HGs. I've read
>several of both IV's and
>RB's books and trust their
>advice and guidance. there's so
>little we see on tv
>behind the scenes and the
>transformations of the HG's speak
>volumes. I sort of envy
>the HG's for their opportunity
>and courage to be there
>in the first place. my
>2cents

I see your 2 cents and I'll raise you another 2 cents. I think they should stay. Especially Iv. Some people can't see the forest for the trees. She sees through the forest and through the trees. She is rough at times but she is trying to get you to answer the hard questions. She always backs it up with love and hugs and everything is geared to the "patients" self awareness and greater good.

And as far as shrinks practicing their trade on TV, Dr. Phil seems to be doing well, and I can get the benifit of his expertise without leaving my couch or paying a dime. I am glad they are there for the taking.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by baybe on 10-22-05 at 01:43 AM
Hurray! I thought it was me. I really like Rhonda, but the new psychobabble stuff is too much. I liked it when the women interacted with each other and worked stuff out. Now they just tell on each other every morning. That morning meeting is brutal.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by ladybugmix on 10-19-05 at 07:50 AM
I was thinking the same thing. They have gotten mean! Your right about them rushing everyone. I wonder if this is all for ratings. That would be too bad. I think most of these ladies need compasion.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Airlies on 10-19-05 at 09:26 AM
I've seen a lot of criticism on here about the coaches this season. I have to disagree because I like them far better this season, especially Iylana.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Kris52505 on 10-19-05 at 11:16 AM
I definately think they should go. These women are crazy. They have no compassion like they did before and are very rude and critizise the Housemates alot more and like to see them suffer. I agree with what someone else on here said, they are burnt out.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by kcoxe on 10-20-05 at 06:30 AM
>I definately think they should go.
>These women are crazy. They
>have no compassion like they
>did before and are very
>rude and critizise the Housemates
>alot more and like to
>see them suffer. I agree
>with what someone else on
>here said, they are burnt
>out.


Why on earth would they like to see them suffer when their whole career has been based on helping other people overcome their suffering. I feel that sometimes compassion has to come in the form of reality check and not just coddling, even though I am a big fan of being coddled. I don't see contempt coming from these coaches the way I was seeing it come from Dr.Laura. Anyone remember her? Talk about a b*#ch!

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by jelnova on 10-20-05 at 10:01 AM
<Why on earth would they like to see them suffer when their whole career has been based on helping other people overcome their suffering.>

Ratings.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Labyrinth on 10-19-05 at 11:34 AM
Just my own perspective, but I think Rhonda and IV are sick of the excuses. I know that these are new women with new problems but can you imagine working intensively with different groups of women for extended periods of time and you get "I Don't get it" or "I don't want to do that" or "I want to go home bwa-bwa"??

I think IV particularly is very frustrated with dealing with women who have no SELF-realization and need to have their hand held to realize the SIMPLEST THINGS. Allison would really be pissing me off right now for instance. I think that is why Lisa got attacked so badly in her first group session -- she is the most spoiled, with the least life threatening problem, yet she makes a drama out of it.

IV's frustration with her "then go right now" came out loud and clear! IV is being held to a contract for this season so here she is devoting time she doesnt' want to give and she gets this 40 year old lady who whines and cries that she has never grown up.

I'm not excusing IV or Rhonda, but after teaching riding lessons for two years I understand quite well the frustration with telling someone something and they CHOOSE NOT TO LISTEN.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by atzd on 10-19-05 at 02:20 PM
That's why licensed psychologists would do better. Part of their training is how to avoid burnout.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by dgibson on 10-19-05 at 03:06 PM
I thought IY did a good job today w/ Christina and just hugging her and loving on her. I may be wrong, but IY seems to have more compassion for the girls SHE coaches as to the ones where RHONDA is the primary coach. Did you hear IY today basically tell Lisa she was lazy? my my my
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by TLake on 10-19-05 at 04:31 PM
I think that the life coaches are awesome and should STAY. The only difference over time is that the production crew is developing more of a specific approach to having a "show" every day. Things are going on all day long that we don't see on camera. I get so much out of what Rhonda and Iyanla do - thank goodness they don't just let the ladies just snivel through excuses - do we want to watch that every day? I am feeling sorry for Jill having to lug all of her baggage - I hope her payoff is awesome!
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Sandrasprecious3 on 10-19-05 at 05:01 PM
>Just my own perspective, but I
>think Rhonda and IV are
>sick of the excuses. I
>know that these are new
>women with new problems but
>can you imagine working intensively
>with different groups of women
>for extended periods of time
>and you get "I Don't
>get it" or "I don't
>want to do that" or
>"I want to go home
>bwa-bwa"??
>
>I think IV particularly is very
>frustrated with dealing with women
>who have no SELF-realization and
>need to have their hand
>held to realize the SIMPLEST
>THINGS. Allison would really be
>pissing me off right now
>for instance. I think that
>is why Lisa got attacked
>so badly in her first
>group session -- she is
>the most spoiled, with the
>least life threatening problem, yet
>she makes a drama out
>of it.
>
>IV's frustration with her "then go
>right now" came out loud
>and clear! IV is being
>held to a contract for
>this season so here she
>is devoting time she doesnt'
>want to give and she
>gets this 40 year old
>lady who whines and cries
>that she has never grown
>up.
>
>I'm not excusing IV or Rhonda,
>but after teaching riding lessons
>for two years I understand
>quite well the frustration with
>telling someone something and they
>CHOOSE NOT TO LISTEN.

While I understand what you are saying and the point you are trying to make but if IV is getting frustrated then she should GO!

I mean what advice would she give herself provided she was one of the HG that was being treated. These women don't come to the house knowing what is best for them. They are there for guidance and to give proper guidance IV will need to be a little more patient and not try and push people along.

I also agree that both Coaches should GO! I understand that they are "taping all day" but having this knowledge, why would the Coaches subject these women to such humiliation? These women are there to get help and if humiliation is a part of the process, to me it just wouldn't be worth it.

I've said this before, the Coaches are "upping their game" so to speak. They are getting more and more ridiculous with the exercises that they are using to help the women "get it". IMHO, it's all about the RATINGS!


Sandra


"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Labyrinth on 10-19-05 at 11:02 PM
Oh I completely agree it's about ratings. However, I also keep in mind that these women agreed to let television and some LC's w/o counseling degrees or certification mess with their mind.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by MorngConqr on 10-19-05 at 05:05 PM
They need to stay they bring the best out in this women and make them work for what they when in life.

Nicole

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by chempsy on 10-19-05 at 05:14 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-20-05 AT 11:05 AM (EST)

The life coaches are doing a wonderful job. Sometimes when you allow adults to take responsiblility for their situation, for some it may appear mean. While I am away from tv most days, I have been watching the program since the first season and it is my opinion that the life coaches have been empathetic, genuine, and warm while the HG worked toward their renaissance. So life coaches keep up the good work.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Devlynne on 10-19-05 at 09:35 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-20-05 AT 04:06 AM (EST)

Hello chempsy, welcome to the boards!

I agree with your post and think you make a good point. I feel the life coaches are doing a good job of challenging the housemates while providing them opportunities for significant life changes that treating them with kid gloves could never accomplish. They should stay!


"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Labyrinth on 10-19-05 at 11:00 PM
Great post! Thanks for the info!
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by chempsy on 10-20-05 at 11:21 AM
Thanks for the welcome....and your thoughts.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Cleverone on 10-20-05 at 07:47 PM
>LAST EDITED ON 10-20-05
>AT 04:06 AM (EST)
>
>Hello chempsy, welcome to the boards!
>
>
>I agree with your post and
>think you make a good
>point. I feel the life
>coaches are doing a good
>job of challenging the housemates
>while providing them opportunities for
>significant life changes that treating
>them with kid gloves could
>never accomplish. They should stay!
>
>
>
>

Very well said ....the LC's are doing an excellent job contrary to some and show compassion where it's needed, however, coddling these women isn't why they're there...they're there to help them change their lives...they could've been coddled at home which didn't work because they chose to come to SO for the tough love and guidance they'd not found anywhere else. As for burnout as someone said...I don't think that's the case...I think they realize that they have a limited time to do sooo much and don't want to waste one moment playing "mother" and putting off the real issues.


****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Turtle39 on 10-20-05 at 04:27 PM
I am with you. I think the Life Coaches are great.

They are genuine and compassionate. The lessons and assignments they teach challenge the Houseguests. The HG's have to grow in order to get the assignment or the understanding of the assignment. For example:

Just today, Jill said that she understood why she had to physcially carry around all that lugguage - she made the connection that she does that mentally in her life. Carries around all that baggage but in her mind. I think that was a big light bulb moment for her.

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by sdmsw on 10-19-05 at 10:53 PM
life coaches should stay - enabling fans who are wanna-be-counselors should go.
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Devlynne on 10-20-05 at 04:33 AM

Hmm... Point taken. I'm always open to other perspectives that's why I visit these boards.


"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by jelnova on 10-20-05 at 09:13 AM
So, if I saw a butcher set up shop as a plastic surgeon, and I was in med school, that would prohibit me from sounding the alarm?
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by chempsy on 10-20-05 at 11:18 AM
Your voice is important. What you share adds to the perspective, so you should continue to remain curious and query for relevant information. I think this forum allows everyone to provide a perspective and (probably the best aspect of the forum) is to examine alternative ideas and thought others may provide. Thoughts and ideas of others help inform my position….So thanks for your ideas and thoughts Ugggh...seems so touchy feeling but seriously TRUTHFUL
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Devlynne on 10-20-05 at 03:50 PM
Thank you for your kind words and insight! My mistake was in trying to actually support my argument with reference material. My years of study make it near habitual for me to do research in order to support the position I take in my writing. I've editted out those references.


"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by TracyQ on 10-20-05 at 04:01 PM
Stay, stay, stay! They are wonderful; bringing in a mix of both psychology and spirtuality. Yes, I thought that they started out a little tougher than normal this season, but I imagine it must be hard hearing, basically, the same problems over and over. Has anyone heard of "tough love"? I think they are two smart, sensitive, caring individuals. But, I wonder if this has been hard on IV; she's gained some weight. (Bad Tracy, bad Tracy)
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Turtle39 on 10-20-05 at 04:12 PM
I think the Life coaches should stay. I love Iyanla and her flamboyant ways. She is a great speaker. I find her most interesting to watch. I have always liked her.

Hey, if her gaining a little weight is her biggest issue - I will still listen. Iyanla is human and not perfect. Just like the rest of us. I like that about her. It makes me able to connect to her. I may not always agree with her. But I do respect her and her opinions.

And Rhonda. Ditto for her too. I think she is hilarious the way she acts ditzy to get her point across in some of the assignments. A bit corny at times. Sure. But I love her just the same. It is refreshing when a person can be silly and feel no shame for it. And have fun with it. That is living !!

"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Sadeyes on 10-20-05 at 08:39 PM
Life isn't easy or pretty.. woman. and we all need a good reality smack from time to time. Sometimes nice doesn't get your attention or save your life...snap out of it..
"RE: Life coaches - should they stay or go?"
Posted by Redbud on 10-21-05 at 07:15 PM
I love them both!! Sometimes I think Iyanla is a bit snooty, but I don't know if she intends that for a reason or not. I'd work with her anyday! Rhonda too! I'd love to be in that house. How long are does the group stay there?