I apologize. Wholeheartedly. The following is soooo not a normal SOTS. (as if mine ever are)
But to begin, we will be doing this in mini-episodes ourselves. (Yes, that's me, all of you and a couple other personalities joining in on the fun.)
Episode 1 of Episode 2 begins in Earnest Wormsby below... *eye rolls self*

• Episode 1 of Ep. 02,tribephyl, 06:00 PM, 02-23-16
• Episode 2 of Ep. 02 ,tribephyl, 06:04 PM, 02-23-16
• Episode 3 of Ep. 02 ,tribephyl, 06:20 PM, 02-23-16
• Episode 4 of Ep. 02,tribephyl, 06:47 PM, 02-23-16
  • Great Snuffing and SOTSing,Flowerpower1, 09:17 PM, 02-23-16
  • RE: Episode 4 of Ep. 02,kingfish, 10:42 PM, 02-23-16
  • RE: Episode 4 of Ep. 02,michel2, 00:58 AM, 02-24-16
• RE: S32 | SOTS | Ep. 02 "Kindergarten Camp",Sheldor, 05:11 PM, 02-24-16
  • RE: S32 | SOTS | Ep. 02 "Kindergarten Camp",CTgirl, 05:16 PM, 02-24-16

Re-Camp
Kindergarten Camp will begin with the ringing of the bell and the recitement of the minutes from our last gathering.

Apparently, in a reality-show no-no (Did no one learn a thing from Kid Nation?), Survivor producers have decided to strand 18 toddlers on a semi-deserted island off the coast of Cambodia during the HOT season.
I don't have to paint a picture for you (although I'm gonna inevitably do so), but suffice it to say the diapers aren't the worst smelling thing in Kaoh Rong.
In fact, I think, the worst smelling thing might be Totang Beach. There's been a bloom of Brown Trout floating about, dontcha see. Or should I say smell.
Go ahead, I've specially made a scratch and sniff...

Just reach your finger up and lightly scratch the blurry part...

No don't.
Yeah, go ahead.
No!
Well, why not?
Nope, not if you know what's good for you.
I would.
No I wouldn't.
Oh okay go for it.
Ack! Stawp!

All right.
Let's get back on track.
Cause we also had a special visit from Earnest Wormsby, the spokesworm for 'earbnb'.

Whom tried to start a whisper campaign by crawling into Jenny's left ear. (And he chose the left ear because everyone knows if you choose the right ear... you might as well be an amoeba. *shivers down the segments*

And after all was lost, like a brand new facemask, Brawn was brought to task and to TC.
Where through a tie, a revote and a landslide... the street urchin was tossed out of the camp.
How fortuitous this pre-season cap is now, in hindsight...

(Of course, completely NOT taking into consideration that it's Neal and Aubry at Chanloh)

So, now comes the portion of the episode (sorry again for doing it this way) where I beg for forgiveness and plead that you hang on...

If you know what's good for you. Stop reading now.
Wait. Don't do that. We still have 3 more episodes of episode 2 to do.
Keep reading. (and writing)

Da Day Afta

Goodness, poor Totang. Suffering the Brown Trout bloom, the loss of the Camp Crusade, the humiliation of tribal and the bootation of the street urchin...
Here is Cydney looking particularly perturbed.

yet the suffering continues...

Jenny: We can't make a fire...
We don't have any fresh water...
We don't have anything to eat...

So...
They can't make a fire with flint.
They can't drink water from a well.
They can't eat rice and beans and fruit and dead chicken and possibly fish, snails, urchins, rats, grubs, termites, ants, crabs or eels either. (What about an earworm?)

Okay, so fire is important.
Hmmm, how weird for survivor contestants to be confronted with the "Fire is Life" mantra literally raining down on them (via flyers released by the HUNDREDS of SEG flights over above and around the areas of interest)
Okay, consider my head beat upon repeatedly.

Meanwhile...

On Beauty, it's a veritable orgy of love. (Oof. Sorry, so not Kindergarten Camp language.)
Sadly, and as is usually the case...
1 of the 10% perpetuates a stereotype by making an advance upon a non-reciprocative 'metro' (even though behind closed doors, a six-pack and a 20 dollar bill and it would be a vastly different outcome).

Here is exactly what Tai saw in that millisecond before semi-connect...

Here is what Caleb saw in that millisecond before semi-connect...

No love lost though.
Tai loves the tease and Caleb is more than willing to tease.

However, to compensate for his loss... Production has decided to place the HII in a treetop.
Apparently, only meant for Tai.

Sadly, for the beautiful creature, his fate is addended with a possible falling injury...

Over at Brains...

It appears they are sharing a meal.

And while all appears to be gellin', not so much in Joe's Grumpy Camp.

See, Joe hates girls.
Specially smart ones.
How lucky he is to be on the brains tribe then, right?
Joe spends his days obsessing and orating over how much he despises quantum theorists with tatas.

Wishing the whole time he could discipline her...

...And amidst all the regularity of Chanloh camplife, with Joe staring and plotting, Liz actually notices, for the first time, that Joe is there...

..."who's the alien?", she asks.

We'll find out in episode 3 of episode 2, coming up next...

Kindergarten Camp Challenge!!!

EvilPeckerJeffProbst calls upon the already put upon toddlers to participate in yet another exciting and brutal challenge.

Where the brawns get off to a great but brutal start...

Really? Razor-wire? Is that necessary? Joe's hair is soooo gonna stick to that.

The beauties breeze through and get to the puzzle portion, with brawn closely behind...

Finally, Brains get to the puzzle portion...

(But as evidenced from the cap above, it's clear they are going to have to start over.)

But before the brains can even get to a re-working point, the Beauties beat the Brawns over the finish line...

and the Brawn are given the bottom part of the Immunity.

(Get it? Bottom Immunity? I crack myself up sometimes.)

Anyways, it's time for Brains to go on a predatory date with the Papa Jiffy.

Coming up in Episode 4 of Ep. 02...

The Great Snuffing
(also known as: where tribe goes completely off the rails.)

The brains enter TC, light their newly donated torches from the giant campfire and take their seats on the uncomfortable log pieces.

EPJP will begin by asking about the gellin' attitude of Chanloh.
And Joe won't be able to control himself.

See, seems everyone on Chanloh actually likes and tolerates each other, leaving the eldest of the camp to feel like an outsider at a Kindergarten Camp for quantum theorizing brats.

Does this spell danger for Joe?
It should.
(But I'm pretty sure we see Joe, at a later date, seeking medical attention. Although, it could be this episode, I believe we would have been slightly teased with it.)
But it doesn't.
Or does it?
Nope. No way.
Well, I guess it could.
Don't put any money on it.
Allright re-mortgage the house.
No way, are you crazy?

Regardless, I believe Joe is safe.

But let's get to the votes anyways, shall we?

Neal votes for Debbie

Aubry votes for Debbie

Debbie votes for Liz

Joe votes for Liz

Liz votes for Debbie

and Peter votes for Debbie

Now go Vote!
Or don't.
Yeah, go for it!
OMG, stop! You've been misled!
Well, it's good info from what was given.
No it's not. This is just more of your complete and utter disregard for actually following the clues. Let Joe try his hand at this SOTS thing. That'll be accurate, for sure.

(Editors note:
Sorry, Debbie. I really thought you could supply us with a multitude of future moments of complete and utter "huh?". Too bad.)

Episode 5 of Ep 2:

Tribe: Once again you are totally aka totangally hitting it out of the proverbial BOX. And, as it's Kindergarten and all, I guess that would be out of the proverbial sandbox. Love it, love you, love this game! Debbie it is....I think!

Tanks!

LAST EDITED ON 02-23-16 AT 10:43 PM (EST)

You totally kicked it off the teeter-totter.

No he didn't!

Yes he did, he totally did!

You are an ignorant and slutty cry-baby! And he did not!

Maybe you'd like to meet me behind the swing? Cause he did too.

Did not, did not, did not. You're just a drooling little baby, and if you had any hair I'd pull it. As it is, give me my pacifier back. I'm tellin!

(Very funny Tribe. The Caleb/Tai interaction is hilarious.)

4 episodes in one week? Wow! that's a lot of jiffy to take. Loved your kindergarden approach especially the Brains kids!

I'm with you on Debbie. She peaked too early.

Jaw dropping amazing Tribephyl! You set the bar really high!

Just noticed this viewing party announcement on Debbie's Facebook page

Debbie Donato Wanner added 3 new photos.
February 21 at 7:22am · Reading, PA ·

If you want to have your Survivor questions answered - here's your chance! I, Debbie, will be hosting a Survivor Q & A party to benefit animal rescue on Wednesday February 24th at the Kenhorst fire company; 411 South Kenhorst Boulevard, Reading, PA. We will watch the show together : ) with plenty of time for your questions not restricted by contract : )

Not restricted by contract because she gets voted out?
How would CBS call that a Blindside?
Yeah I know CBS calls practically any vote out a Blindside

Way to go Tribe! Why have we never made the analogy of Survivors to babies before!

Joe Del Campo tweeted this this morning, and my first thought was he is saying this is anticipation of a Debbie boot: "You know what one of the saddest parts is about getting old? You stay young on the inside but some people are unwilling to appreciate that." Even if Debbie isn't the boot, I feel like this pertains to the show tonight!