LAST EDITED ON 04-22-15 AT 02:03 PM (EST)
Welcome to the State of the
Spoiling for Survivor Worlds Apart
Previously on, Survivor: The players had complained so much about their stiff collars that Jeff decided they better merge to get rid of those collars. At first, the old Nagarote tribe had some fun screwing with the majority by using Jenn's idol to eliminate Kelly. Since then however, things haven't gone the No Collars' way. First, Hali left, causing Jenn to act like a five year old and say she didn't want to play anymore. She wanted to give the toy necklace to Joe but Tyler didn't want to let her have it. Since Joe didn't have the necklace, everyone picked on him and sent him home.
I bet you regret wasting all that time watching the episodes when this is all you need to know.
Come on now. There was more to see than that...
We had a few fights, a few idols were found and some chicken were hurt during the filming of the show. Nothing exciting, really.
But, but, but...Didn't you hear? It's one of the BEST.SEASONS.EVER.
You forgot to add: According to Jeff. More Kool-Aid that he tries to pass as fine wine.
This season is a lot like Thailand and Guatemala because:
All You Need is Hate
First, CTGirl told us in the Title Tits and Tease
...er, I think you meant tweets and tease
Hey! Don’t interrupt me. So, as I was saying, first you need to:
Bring Your Popcorn
That popcorn is mine, you can’t just grab it away from me like that.
Aren’t you watching your line? No Popcorn for you!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, these people hate each other and Jeff finally realized that’s what America wants: People hating each other, yelling and screaming. Today, even the cooking shows have gone to Hell so Survivor was really falling behind the times by casting only one Shamar, one Brandon, and one Rocker per season. Since these bozos usually left before the merge, it meant the sales of chocolate bars and popcorn were falling dramatically during sweeps season. Since all the big companies snicker at Survivor nowadays, it doesn’t leave them with many sponsors so they really have to do everything they can to keep them happy.
I see what you did there. You think you’re so clever but you aren’t that funny...
Will you shut up and let me work. Do you think this is easy?
You’re just a desperate attention whore who likes to write about this crappy show for some reason...
Now, you’re just running your mouth because you enjoy this show also.
I know, it’s a curse.
OK, so as I was saying, this episode will have some epic fights as thePress Release tells us.
I’d call it Pressing Release. Jiffy and his crew are so anxious to reveal everything.
Pressing Release? That sounds like you have to go in a hurry.
This season is going down the crapper so why not?
Anyway, Sheldor brought us news about this episode:
“A key advantage gives one castaway a game-changing opportunity, and another castaway lashes out when their integrity is questioned...”
Thanks to CTGirl, we heard what Jeff had to say about this episode: One of the biggest things to ever happen at an auction. One of the biggest arguments to ever happen at camp. Together, the two events set up one of the biggest finishes to any season. It’s definitely a “don’t miss” episode.
Maybe one day Jeff will be honest and say: “You definitely can miss this episode”.
The tease led to CTGirl’s comment: “Can we dare to hope that the twist comes out at the auction?”
Tribephyl got all excited because he remembered another of Jeff’s tease: JP: “We have a new advantage in the game. Something we’ve toyed with for a long time and decided to do it this year, and it plays out great. I’ll leave it at that for now.” ... "Yeah, there is another twist. Something we’ve played around with for quite a while, but didn’t feel it was appropriate yet for the show. This season, we decided these people could handle it. So there is a new twist, and no one is going to see it coming. It plays out beautifully. Everything you would hope a twist would bring you, it brings you."
and "this week... One of the biggest things to ever happen at an auction...Together, the two events set up one of the biggest finishes to any season.”
I’m much less excited about the twist than Tribe because so many have proven to be lame.
What’s the twist? I want to know.
You can’t handle the twist!
Unable to keep it in his pants...I mean keep it under wraps, Jiffy spoils his own show by blabbing to Dalton as reported by CTGirl here:
“Somebody will be given a second vote at Tribal Council and literally will be allowed to vote two times at one Tribal Council...”
Later in the interview, Jeff says that the player can keep their advantage secret if he or she wants, use it as a bargaining chip or as leverage and all they have to do is tell Jeff that they want to use their advantage before all the votes are cast.
Kudos to Andrew Baker over at TDT who, I think, was the first to speculate correctly on that twist. Having two votes could counter the old plan Voodoo. Cao Boi was the first castaway to think of splitting the votes and now it’s become rampant. That twist would change the numbers and could neutralize the split vote tactic, unless it’s something like 6 against 2.
Before we get to the auction, we have many camp scenes. It certainly isn’t pretty:
Will: All you've been doing is running your damn mouth. Nobody even likes you
Will: "I'm going to sit here and pout."
JP: But it's Mike who could blow up the game.
Mike: He flipped
Rodney: Who did I flip on? You whack job… We will see and you're ruining it for yourself, and you sound like an idiot. You're going nuts right now. You better relax, bro. You better relax
Will <yelling at Shirin>: Don't ever question my integrity, dog, for real. I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna chop your head.
Shirin: “Hate, hate me do, you know I hate you.”
Mike: I could blow it up, right now.
Rodney: You better relax, cause you're going nuts right now.
Dan <talking to Sierra>: Nobody dictates my future.
Dan, don’t you know? “Sierra hates you, yeah, yeah yeah. She hates you yeah yeah yeah. With a hate like that, you know you should be mad...”
Did you watch last week? Dan bought Sierra some snickers and now she loves him
Do you really think that Dan can buy her love with a chocolate bar? He can’t buy her love but a vote at Final TC would certainly help her mood.
We finally get to the Auction.
(People who’ve played in my on-line games know that I like the auction. I simply had to include something similar in my game. The real ones have given us some of the funniest moments over the years.)
I'm not sure how or if they will be auctioned but many players wind up with letters from home:
Sierra: We have letters from our loved ones. We just want to sit down and read them.
Notice that we see the nicely tucked wallet in Sierra's bra so some of the letters probably came with tree mail as an appetizer.
Announcer : An emotional morning... leads to one explosive shocker... ...after another.
Rodney: I love you brother.
Dan <crying after reading letter>: I love you, too, man
Will <at Auction>: Bring the popcorn, baby. This is gonna be the best Tribal, everrrrrr.
This comment tells us that the players are expecting fireworks at TC so it would be nice to figure out who gets the advantage.
Tribephyl once more gives us his ideas: Methinks the Auction contains a last minute "advantage" that only the game savvy end up getting.
Cue Shirin's MEGA vote twist "advantage".
Shirin, (and Jenn) as the last of the No-Collar alliance left, will be given reprieve, as one of Tyler, Carolyn, Rodney or Will get the snuffing this week. (and probably the next 4 as well.)
Tribe adds : “with Shirin "knowing" that some sort of advantage is only available at the end of the auction is something a lot of other players, more food driven, to spend their money early, would never have the patience for. I don't think Shirin feels safe and her knowledge of the game will be an advantage during the auction which will lead to an advantage in the game.
The only other current castaway that has presented themselves as having been an avid fan of the show is Dan. And I don't think he has the patience to watch perfectly good food walk by and being eaten by other people. I also believe he doesn't feel he's in danger at all, so the incentive for lasting until the end is something that will pass over his head as well as MANY other player's heads.”
This picture of Shirin could be telling us that she is already thinking of buying that advantage.
Looks like you should pay Tribe for doing all the work for you
Hey! He hired me to do this since he had better things to do so he should pay me... Anyway, I hear that Tribe is not only rich but vastly rich so what would he do with my two cents?
So here are my two cents: I think Mike could also know enough about this game and be determined enough to outwait and outbid Shirin. The advantage should belong to one of those two.
Getting back to what we know, FP noticed balancing balls for immunity. That tells us that Keith will win immunity!
You can’t even keep your seasons straight.
I was making a joke. Try to follow.
Actually, the Challenge is not like the ones that Keith won in SJDS.
It is called: "Rubber Soul to Squeeze."
Where the hell did you get "rubber"?
It's in keeping with my Beatles' theme. It Helps me to continue writing this crap...
So, the challenge goes like this: You are given big metal tongs and race over to take out Dan’s teeth.
You can use as much force as needed and Dan will not be under anaesthesia. The first to extract two molars wins immunity. It should come down to Shirin and Sierra.
Wait...I just got a PM from John Kirhoffer and apparently I was given bad info.
The challenge will actually go like this: Each player has a pair of metal tongs. They will use them to grab a billiard ball. Once they have a billiard ball in their tongs, they will go up and over two teeter totters, and then rest the billiard ball on a pedestal at the other end. The first player to get all 6 balls on the pedestal wins Immunity.
So, no one hurts Dan?
Apparently not...unless he falls on his ass again...
Immunity Challenge? Boo! Hurting Dan? Yeah!
Who will win? Since it requires hand-eye coordination it could favor Dan, our juggler. At least that’s what CTGirl proposed and I’ll go with that. The balance may prove to be a problem but Dan has surprised us in a few challenges.
After that, we should get more heated exchanges in camp before Tribal Council. Will Mike use Shirin and Jenn to go after Rodney's side alliance? Mike must be sniffing something:
Now, where did I put this finger?
It sure stinks...
So, which one of Rodney's ally should go?
You know you are 0 in 2 for your SOTS
So what are you saying?
Maybe you should stop here and let the people decide for themselves.
They're expecting me to make a fool of myself so I have to give them what they want. Here goes:
Will it be Tyler?
No, he is still too much Under The Radar.
Then maybe it's time to blindside Carolyn. She wouldn't be expecting it and Shirin named her as her first target.
Did you see Carolyn anywhere in the promos this week? I think she may be even more UTR than Charlie Brown, our NFL kicker.
No, I think this week, Shirin will change target and go after her new tormentor. Did you notice Sierra's reaction when Will attacked Shirin?
It certainly looks like Will crossed a line so it shouldn't be hard to get a majority of votes against him. After all, he's been sitting in Joaquin's seat for a few weeks now and we all know that it's an ejection seat
So, in summary:
Finally, I can go eat
Reward Challenge - The Auction
Everyone gets glimpses of letters from home
Some if not most spend their money on food items.
One will get a gag item
Shirin or Mike will get the advantage.
Immunity Challenge: Sierra
ETA: Pepe brought this picture to our attention:
It seems like Sierra is wearing a blurred out Immunity Necklace so, since we have nothing else to go on, I change the post to have her winning immunity.
Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote in Dabo's thread.