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"has starting over changed amyone else's life"

Posted by lovelucila on 12-23-05 at 08:37 PM
I feel like it has for me. I just started watching this season & It has really helped me get real with myself

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Messages in this discussion
"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Zark on 12-23-05 at 11:06 PM
I know, I know, it does sound hokey. But, I have been a S O watcher since it started. Thank goodness, first for VCR and now for DVR. I often think some of these ladies need a swift kick. Lisa annoys me with her petty comments that she thinks are funny. Lisa, when she is on a manic talking jag, well I raised one child with ADD, and one with ADHD, and neither were no it all persons. My brother was never diagnosed with either, and she reminds me of a female version of him. Always right, always thinks he knows more than anyone. But, underneath it all, I think she is probably a nice person, if she could just shut up and keep her diatribes to less than 45 minutes. But, a lot of the ladies, working through their issues, often reflect in different ways to issues I have had to or am trying to deal with. I guess some of the show has helped me gain insight into myself.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by faithnj on 12-26-05 at 09:38 PM
>I feel like it has for
>me. I just started watching
>this season & It has
>really helped me get real
>with myself


Yup....It has been very helpful to me. I've been watching it since the very first episode. I know a lot of women complain they don't get much out of it. (And why they don't watch something else instead, I do not know.) But a lot of us must think it's worth our time. Even my husband got something out of Allison's Water Bucket exercise!

Faithnj


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Sues on 12-26-05 at 11:06 PM
I agree....I know alot of the exercise seem 'silly' but I think when you're in a 'rut' you really need something VISUAL to 'get it'. Words are great, but pictures can often be clearer....

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-27-05 at 03:42 AM
throughout my day sometimes I think of the water bucket excersise & say to myself. " you have to give yourself the love you need" specialy when i notice myself start to get tense over expectations I have on people around me

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by grandmamer on 12-27-05 at 05:31 AM
LAST EDITED ON 12-27-05 AT 05:33 AM (EST)

I feel like I am so busy that I don't just sit down and relax. I'm on vacation this week and while my daughter was out and I was watching my grand daughter I turned on the show. One quote in particular hit me like a ton of bricks. The cancer survivor. To hear that someone like myself has just been surviving their life and not living it was so profound. I keep getting challenges that I have to survive through that I forget to live my life while I'm surviving. It was like it was meant for me to hear. Oprah reruns are on every day I wish this show could be repeated sometime during the late night or early day for us who work 9-5.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by rsmith6861 on 01-03-06 at 12:19 PM
>LAST EDITED ON 12-27-05
>AT 05:33 AM (EST)

>
>I feel like I am so
>busy that I don't just
>sit down and relax.
> I'm on vacation this
>week and while my daughter
>was out and I was
>watching my grand daughter I
>turned on the show.
>One quote in particular hit
>me like a ton of
>bricks. The cancer
>survivor. To hear that someone
>like myself has just been
>surviving their life and not
>living it was so profound.
> I keep getting
>challenges that I have to
>survive through that I forget
>to live my life while
>I'm surviving. It
>was like it was meant
>for me to hear.
> Oprah reruns are on
>every day I wish this
>show could be repeated sometime
>during the late night or
>early day for us who
>work 9-5.

OMG This hit me like a ton of bricks today. All this time I've considered myself a survivor, yet I've often heard myself complain because since I "survived" I've lost my humor, my ability to have fun. I've become so intense and while watching the reruns today, IV talked about surviving versus living. I realize I've divided my life.. at first before the shooting, I was a victim of biggotry. I wasn't even surviving at that point. I was under the thumb of a boss who hated me for being a lesbian, who threatened my job, etc. I allowed her to ruin my self esteem. After the shooting, I considered myself a survivor and remained in that mode until today. I realized after today's show that it's time to take the tools I learned from counseling and LIVE!
Before today's light bulb moment, the things I have gotten from the show pretty much mirrored things my counselor taught me. Seeing the concepts put into something visual via the assignments the girls were given, only made what I'd already been taught more concrete.



"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Lwalkernutt on 12-27-05 at 07:17 AM
Yes, I believe that SO has changed my life. I am no longer afraid that I have to please everyone, and when something goes wrong, I don't feel quilty about and say I am sorry, because I can't control everything, and I use to think that I had to .

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-27-05 at 11:13 AM
LAST EDITED ON 12-27-05 AT 11:38 PM (EST)


Grandmamer, I hear ya! It is so easy to just numb out on the routine, or pinball from battle to battle.

Along the same lines as you, LWalkernutt... I don't know if it has changed any of my behaviors, but it certainly has given me the vocabulary, and the justification to stick to my guns. Now I can clearly state why certain things are important to me.

From season one, that it is dangerous to think that I am the only one with a given problem, and that I shouldn't pretend to be someone I'm not, in order to keep the "secret".

From season two, that being a people pleaser doesn't do anyone any good. If I try to rush a project it will not make that person like me more. It will just shortchange them on quality and cause other peoples' projects to be late.

From season three, integrity and core beliefs. I know right from wrong, and when I choose the right path, I need to stick to it no matter who is trying to sway me off the path.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Lwalkernutt on 12-28-05 at 08:26 AM
I have always been a people pleaser, and never say No because I am afaid they might get mad at me, my oldest son does that to me all the time, once when I said no to babysitting, he would not let me see my grandkids, so I missed my grandson's first Christmas, years ago. Now I am learning to say NO, and pick up the pieces later.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-28-05 at 11:47 AM
LAST EDITED ON 12-28-05 AT 12:45 PM (EST)

I'm sorry he did that to you. You must have rocked his world when you said no! How come they don't feel guilty knowing we only do it to keep them from getting mad, not because we want to do it?

I retired to start my own business, but sometimes I help out when someone goes on vacation. Last time, the guy was already ON vacation when they called and asked if I would step in, starting that day. This time they gave me fair warning, but when I sat down to work, several other duties had been added, that I had not agreed to... plus an additional half week! I put my foot down and guess what, they already had a plan B, they just wanted to see if I would do it first. That's another thing about people pleasing: it's more trouble for me if I say yes, than it is for THEM if I say NO! It doesn't help that it's radio, so it attracts a lot of people pleasing types who will take low pay and extra duties just to be able to do the fun stuff.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with people pleasing. Let's say it together: Noooooooooo!


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lavendarJ on 12-27-05 at 04:48 PM
I can honestly say that I have walked away inspired many days after watching the show. I am looking forward to seeing what is going on with the HG's.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lavendarJ on 12-27-05 at 04:54 PM
I just wanted to add on that I have been watching the show since its beginning. I am pleased to have a show like this that tries to do something positive. One of the exercises that I totally related to and had a "light bulb" moment was when Iyanla was talking to Jill about being the type of woman who has had to endure a lot of blows and disappointments in life... she continued to say that Jill had become used to taking blows and sometimes took them just because she could.... I really relaed to that to this idea of being "superhuman" and having to have thick skin all the time and not be vulnerable or cry. I related to what Iyanla was saying to Jill about taking a blow and getting back up and taking another and another and another. What Iyanla basically said to Jill was okay you have proved your point, you can take a blow but at what point to you get tired of taking the blows and choose to do something different. That was powerful for me because I have been there, taken the blows, kept smiling, kept moving, never stopping once to tend to my wounds... that show really did something for me.....

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-27-05 at 05:18 PM


That was a good one! "Taking a punch" I think is how she worded it.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-27-05 at 08:58 PM
Wow! Thanks for sharing that with us. I didn't look at it that way when that show aired. Its true. Everything you pointed out is true

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-27-05 at 09:22 PM
Starting over has also helped me to put the attention back on myself. I used to be afraid of being wrong or doing the wrong thing or messing up.It has taught me that as long as I trust myself I will be okay. Rhonda came to my church & I was able to talk to her for a little bit afterwards. I shared with her my story & my lack of motivation & she told me " the reason you aren't motivated is because you are not ackowledging your worth." then she gave me an excersise. The same 1 she gave to jessica 2 do for New York. she told be to write 100 gratitudes for life & 100 ackowledgements to myself. & then 5 new ones everday. it was hard to do but I realize I beat up on myself alot. telling myself how I oughta be & what I just can't do. Slowly I notice me changing. Its all about focus. What you focus on you create more of. I was focusing to much on me being inadequate.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by faithnj on 12-28-05 at 03:26 PM
Wow. Thanks for the input, Lucilia! That gave me something to think about. Also, it's nice to see so many positive posts about the SO show today.

Otherwise, I'm always happy when I learn something from one of the houseguests I think I have little in common with. In this particular season, I just can't WAIT to see what I can learn from what they do with Lisa. Because right now, I'm afraid she's gonna go the way Christine 2 went-- which is kicked out because she wasn't changing at all. I think C2 is one of the ONLY houseguests I didn't learn something from!

Does anyone remember C2??? (The one with the long, curly black hair and the miilion different jobs and the kids and farm house with no heat.) If you do, please let me know-- what did you learn from her?


FaithNJ
(Opps! I did learn something from Lisa's stint thus far. When that guy Farrah came on the show, I learned it is appropriate to hustle a bit if you want to get a business off the ground.)


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-28-05 at 04:51 PM
Oh, she was one damaged woman. Just a pure predator.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Santaklaws on 12-28-05 at 05:13 PM
There are definitely moments that resonate with me. Some of the exercises the HGs do are over the top, but they usually have a point relating to the guest's overall goal.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-29-05 at 03:49 AM
That was an eye opener for me. when Lisa hussled the store people and didn't take them the jewlery. I was like Oh Ive done that before. Promise something to a client or customer & then not deliver

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by CBailey on 12-29-05 at 02:58 PM
I have previously posted this but it was in the wrong spot so sorry for the repeat.

A light bulb for me was with Alison (believe it or not) It was when Dr. Stan told her that if she thinks of herself as fat then she will act fat, and her body will actually produce more fat. This really hit home for me. I am not necessarily heavy I am 5'6" ane Weigh 145 but I recently put on tons of weight therefore making me feel a whole lot heavier. So when Dr. Stan said this I realized what I was doing to my self and stopped I have a much higher self esteem now.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-29-05 at 06:39 PM
I have watched almost every show & i guess I missed that one. Thank-you for sharing that. I am 5'7 and weigh 168 i feel very fat. I need to stop beating up on myself. I have lost 20lbs already. From going to the gym everyday & eating right. However I still feel like Allison does sometimes. Jealous of skinny people. When i catch myself doing that i think oh no I don't want to be like Allison. Stop it. Stop it.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by OklaBlue on 12-29-05 at 07:49 PM
Have you checked out the "Biggest Loser" forums on this website? You probably would find a lot of that interesting.
Looks like you have a good start, with losing 20 and exercising.
Remember, the outside is a reflection of the inside. While you may be able to reshape the outside, you still need to work on the inside to keep it that way.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Soupy on 12-29-05 at 10:14 PM
I have learned 'tons' from the show from it's humble beginning. Rhonda's book really made a difference in my life. My entire thinking and how I relate to people. Some good- some not.I gained a great deal in the process of reading her book. It has ONLY been this last season that changed my entire outlook on the Show. Perhaps my expectations are just too high now. I got terribly disappointed, frustrated. No clear answer as to why. It just is so...in my observations.

I imagine that my husband got tired of hearing everything that I was sharing aloud with him about all that I was learning... from marriage to children. I was in awe at the brilliant concept. The Love,compassion. etc. It was a great experience for me. My enthusiasim was a bit extreme though...lol... I was excited about all that I was learning- I was so impressed indeed!( as a previous poster stated- "The light bulb went off' type of thing. It was a "WOW" reality for 2 seasons...For that I am truly grateful. I wrote to Rhonda personally, to share my Thanks and my positive feedback regarding the Show.
( I compared the lessons that were be shared on the show to a religious speaker that I watch on T.V. also. They're very simular. Amazing so! ~ Joel Osteen.) Uncanny!- Truly...

She has attended many churches here in Colorado, as that is how she recruits her Coaches-attending her Fearless Living Insitute classes. ( Coaches post on here as well I see )
She was here in town, 6 mos.ago, for a seminar that she hosted for the public at The Fearless Living Institute- in Boulder, Colorado. ( it wasn't free however) I was going to attend regardless. ( I live in Denver- aprox. 30 mins. away) At any rate, I anxiously planned on attending but an emergency came up one day before her seminar. I did not go. I was so disappointed. I had a reserved seat.

The New Season of S.O. has given me a whole new perspective on the process. More questions then answers. I continue to rely on my Faith as always. Psycology is a fascinating profession. Many can benifit from it- in many forms. The Lord works in mysterious ways!


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Cinnamongirl30 on 12-30-05 at 00:20 AM
SO is helping me look at myself a little differently, helping to recognize areas in my life that I might want to pay attention to. This season has been a riot, everyone is so different and quirky and all are guilty of having pathetic moments. But I'm loving it. They couldn't of found a better mix of attention seeking girls who really need some help in their lives. I've never joined a message board before but for this show I just had too. It makes me feel like i've got it together better than I thought I did.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-30-05 at 00:34 AM
The thing that I learned most from Iyanla is Integrity. She always talks about listening to yourself. Something I was not very good at.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by skater on 01-01-06 at 10:43 PM
>I have watched almost every show
>& i guess I missed
>that one. Thank-you for sharing
>that. I am 5'7 and
>weigh 168 i feel very
>fat. I need to stop
>beating up on myself. I
>have lost 20lbs already. From
>going to the gym everyday
>& eating right. However I
>still feel like Allison does
>sometimes. Jealous of skinny people.
>When i catch myself doing
>that i think oh no
>I don't want to be
>like Allison. Stop it. Stop
>it.

Me too, lovelucila...I find myself doing that sometimes and now I feel a little better about myself, even though I have some weight to lose. Not just so I'll look better in a skating dress (altho 2 pairs of tights can do wonders LOL!), but so I'll be healthier. And so I WON'T be like Allison or some of the other HGs with the pity parties any more.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by pegasustt on 01-01-06 at 11:20 PM
wow thanks for the tip about tights! i'll try that
TT

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by normsangeleyes on 12-30-05 at 07:52 AM
I watched the end of first season, all of second and now third. I love it. I have bipolar d/o and family issues that go back 15 years... I would love to pay Iyanla to be my therapist instead of who I have.....

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-30-05 at 04:08 PM
I like what Iyanla said today. If you don't speak up for yourself other people will not value you. Other people will not see your worth.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by EnfanTerrible on 12-30-05 at 04:35 PM

Amen, how many times have I sat there steaming because someone else didn't consider me.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 12-30-05 at 11:19 PM
Its little things like that, that make a differance for me in how i live my life. Just learning things like how to speak up. How to focus on what I have to bring to the table.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by rsmith6861 on 01-03-06 at 01:13 PM
>I watched the end of first
>season, all of second and
>now third. I love it.
>I have bipolar d/o and
>family issues that go back
>15 years... I would love
>to pay Iyanla to be
>my therapist instead of who
>I have.....

I'll tell you, it's so hard to find a good therapist, or better yet, one who you can connect with. Trust was always an issue with me. I sought counseling when I first got out of the Army back in 76. I was living with an alcoholic at the time and deeply depressed, yet going to college as well. All this psychiatrist was interested in was putting me on medications, and her issue was about my being a lesbian living with an alcoholic. I was so drugged up from the meds that I couldn't think. I finally found Alanon which was a big help. But the big issue behind the depression had nothing to do with my then S.O.'s drinking. That issue didn't come out until almost 30 years later. It was 7 years ago when I finally sought counseling after realizing I was stuck and not moving forward at all. I hated it! I was really skeptical of counselors of any kind, but knew it was now or never. I went to the VA and of course, we've all heard about VA doctors and therapists, but this lady was different. I immediately liked her, I trusted her and she saw right through me which is what I needed. I am no longer her patient.. although I will never say I'm finished with counseling because even though I no longer have to go to group therapy or her office, I'm always implementing the tools I learned to use and when I encounter problems, I've learned to call upon those tools. My relationship with my counselor is now friendship. She is a good friend of friends of mine so we've done a few things together as friends, not as patient/counselor. I told her about the Starting over show and I'm sending her the tapes of it. I'm curious to see what her opinions are of the show. A few weeks ago, I was in the hospital. I passed out at home and when the paramedics got there, I had no heart beat. I was transfered to a cardiac specialty hospital in a town 35 minutes from where I live. This counselor lives much further away from where I was and I was shocked to see her standing at my bedside. She was asking me what happened and I was telling her how I thought I was having heart problems a week before, but ignored it because there was no pain. We are both about the same age and so we discussed how heart attacks are different with women than they are with men. Then we started laughing after I discribed what happened because we both said at the same time, "It definitely wasn't a panic attack, huh?"
I discussed with her the concept of life coaches and she said that in many ways now she is my life coach, not my counselor. In my opinion, the life coach shouldn't replace a therapist, but could be a step down from therapy. I was just fortunate that this counselor I hesitated to go to for help, has actually played the role of both. I do think that in many cases, folks such as yourself might identify better with a life coach than a psychologist or psychiatrist, but before turning to a life coach, like those on the starting over house, I think it's important that a Life Coach has a psychiatrist on hand in case things get beyond their capabilities.. I think this is why it's so important that the Starting Over house has Dr. Stan available to them.



"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 01-03-06 at 03:48 PM
I also like the excercise with jills luggage boy am I carrying around luggage.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by acoftil on 01-05-06 at 06:03 PM
normsangeleyes said:
I watched the end of first season, all of second and now third. I love it. I have bipolar d/o and family issues that go back 15 years... I would love to pay Iyanla to be my therapist instead of who I have.....
---------------------------
Hello, I'm new here.

I'm in a similar situation. Only, I ended up with stress related medical issues on top of having a breakdown.

When I was 39, I was forced into a disability retirement by my employer. It was their fault and within 2 years I had won both WC and SSDI cases.

Six months after retiring, I came down with a painful muscle disorder, called Fibromyalgia. It's been downhill since for 10 years.

I looked into live-in facilities to deal with everything, but they were too expensive or they were Christian based--which isn't my cup of tea. I gave up and have struggled with little struvture to my progress. I have made a lot of progress, but I still can't participate in many life activities.

I've had the same therapist for 27 years. I love him. BUT, he can only do so much. He can't take the time to be a "life coach". My insurance only allows me to see him and my pdoc (psychiatrist) 3X/yr. They see me more often, if I'm in crises.

He also can't do anything about my physical issues.

So here I am, having gone through 2 nasty episodes this fall, and not making any progress on my health. I know I need help, but I need coordinated help, not piece meal.

I just starated watching SO more seriously this December. So, I'm really a neophite. I'm looking for a place to go to help me make a plan. I just can't seem to plan anymore. I'm hoping this site can provide the type of information I'm looking for.

Oh, and I like most of Dr. Phil. <DARFC> (ducking and running for cover).

Sorry this got so long. I tend to post sporatically, but I have a lot to say. LOL <g>

Nancy


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by OklaBlue on 01-05-06 at 06:26 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-05-06 AT 06:27 PM (EST)

Try Dr. Phil's website for some advice, directions. Email him and try to get on the program.

This may give you some insight into life coaching and it's free via email.

FREE 6 part online course about life coaching:
http://www.lifecoachingstudio.com/become.htm

Is there a pain clinic in your area?


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by pegasustt on 01-05-06 at 10:01 PM
Hi Nancy,
i also have FMS and a bunch of other ailments and disease's
TT

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 01-05-06 at 02:24 PM
What i been doing is taking notes every episode. Now during re-runs I decieded to take what i have learned and apply everything until the 9th when the show starts again. To see how applying all these principals changes my life.

1.) emotional honesty
2.) commitment
3.) integrity
4.) being specific to the Universe
5.) praying everyday
6.) affirmations everyday
7.) watching what I eat everyday
8.) watching what I think everyday
9.) watching what I say everyday

So far I have lost 6lbs. I feel less anxiety and new opportunities are comming out the woodworks


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by lovelucila on 01-10-06 at 04:46 PM
I really liked what rhonda had to say about Lisa dressing for her date. Also the purse excercise

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by Twinkles on 01-10-06 at 05:05 PM
Wow lovelucila, it's great that you can make it be that specific.

I've been waiting on tinterhooks (sp?) for Kim's work to continue in order to see what I could apply to myself. Her early childhood situation was extremely similar to mine and she presents herself similarly to me. Although she's more successful in her current life than I am and has a different current family situation, I share her SO goals - I've never gotten to "angry" for the same things she's dealing with. (it's her first step). I'm very curious how they plan to get her there in a matter of weeks or months.

I'm a little scared to watch this unfold but I'm sure I'll get a lot out of it.

As far as what I've gotten out of watching the show -- I got some value from lessons they tried to teach Allison. (I haven't been watching that long)


"Requests like this"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 01-17-06 at 04:46 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-17-06 AT 09:44 PM (EST)

What Bebo said below.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by reeseangel on 01-10-06 at 06:45 PM
I think this program has helped me become more open-minded and like another poster said "real" with myself and the "stories" that I tell myself about my life. Many of the house members have helped me more than any of them will know, Allison especially. I really was sorry to see her graduate, even though I was happy to see her reach her goals.

I rarely get addicted to television, or entertainment, for that matter, but I record this show daily... even the reruns... and can't wait to get home from work for my pick-me -up of the day.



"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by teacherst on 01-17-06 at 02:56 PM
Thats how I feel about starting over. I feel its my pick me up for the day. I'm learning a lot.

"POST REMOVED"
Posted by Bebo on 01-17-06 at 05:04 PM
This site does not condone the unauthorized distribution of copyrighted material. When you offer to pay someone for a tape of the show, that's exactly what you're requesting. Please don't post requests like that here.


"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by mamatdot on 01-18-06 at 04:54 PM
Unfortunatly, I live in Canada. Otherwise I would so apply to get on this show .. I think it is the best show on the air. As a stay at home mom and wife I dont have a lot of time to deal with or understand alot of stuff that I feel and think about. This show helps me a great deal.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by teacherst on 01-19-06 at 01:17 AM
watching Lisa's addiction to MR internet really made me ponder how i have been addicted to bad emotional situations like she is.

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by teacherst on 01-19-06 at 08:45 PM
Today was a good show!

"RE: has starting over changed amyone else's life"
Posted by teacherst on 01-26-06 at 10:35 PM
I recorded yesterday's and today's show for my sister cause she's alot like Lisa2 and she got alot from it. She also thought the outfit she was wearing is halarious