• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,michel, 05:20 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,SquidProQuo, 09:06 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Puffy, 09:44 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 08:11 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,SquidProQuo, 08:58 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 09:02 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,SquidProQuo, 09:07 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 09:20 PM, 12-18-11
      • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,foonermints, 09:32 PM, 12-18-11
        • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 09:35 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Loree, 09:36 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 09:08 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,udg, 09:10 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Snidget, 09:27 PM, 12-18-11
      • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 09:33 PM, 12-18-11
        • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 09:37 PM, 12-18-11
• The last minutes before the horror begins.,Estee, 09:33 PM, 12-18-11
• The story arc of John Cochran.,Estee, 09:39 PM, 12-18-11
  • Actually:,michel, 08:52 PM, 12-19-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 09:40 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 09:44 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 09:42 PM, 12-18-11
• Coming up: the world's most predictable duel.,Estee, 09:46 PM, 12-18-11
• Did coach say...,Snidget, 09:48 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Did coach say...,Estee, 09:50 PM, 12-18-11
• How to beat a fanatic.,Estee, 09:52 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 09:56 PM, 12-18-11
• As predicted:,Estee, 09:57 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: As predicted:,PepeLePew13, 10:15 PM, 12-18-11
• It's the things you don't say.,Estee, 10:04 PM, 12-18-11
• Tile stacker.,Estee, 10:07 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 10:08 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 10:12 PM, 12-18-11
• It's their only hope.,Estee, 10:14 PM, 12-18-11
• Then why didn't you play it?,Estee, 10:18 PM, 12-18-11
• The easy way out.,Estee, 10:19 PM, 12-18-11
• Sophie cannot deal with attacks on her character.,Estee, 10:24 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Sophie cannot deal with attacks on her character.,PepeLePew13, 10:30 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: Sophie cannot deal with attacks on her character.,Brownroach, 10:33 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: Sophie cannot deal with attacks on her character.,Estee, 10:34 PM, 12-18-11
      • RE: Sophie cannot deal with attacks on her character.,PepeLePew13, 10:37 PM, 12-18-11
        • RE: Sophie cannot deal with attacks on her character.,Estee, 10:46 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 10:28 PM, 12-18-11
• Goodbye to Rick.,Estee, 10:29 PM, 12-18-11
• The last challenge of Ozzy's reality life.,Estee, 10:38 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 10:42 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Loree, 10:51 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,KObrien_fan, 10:44 PM, 12-18-11
  • I know all those words...,Estee, 10:47 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: I know all those words...,Snidget, 10:50 PM, 12-18-11
• Can the editing throw this vote in doubt?,Estee, 10:48 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Can the editing throw this vote in doubt?,PepeLePew13, 10:49 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: Can the editing throw this vote in doubt?,Estee, 10:53 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 10:53 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 10:57 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 10:55 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 10:58 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 11:00 PM, 12-18-11
• OOTS echo.,Estee, 11:01 PM, 12-18-11
  • Suicide hotlines set up...,PepeLePew13, 11:04 PM, 12-18-11
• It's almost sad.,Estee, 11:04 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 11:05 PM, 12-18-11
• Pre-jury planning.,Estee, 11:12 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Pre-jury planning.,PepeLePew13, 11:15 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: Pre-jury planning.,Estee, 11:18 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: Pre-jury planning.,PepeLePew13, 11:27 PM, 12-18-11
• I'm torn,Snidget, 11:13 PM, 12-18-11
• For the record:,Estee, 11:14 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 11:16 PM, 12-18-11
• Words you don't say, Part II.,Estee, 11:17 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Words you don't say, Part II.,PepeLePew13, 11:22 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: Words you don't say, Part II.,Estee, 11:24 PM, 12-18-11
      • RE: Words you don't say, Part II.,PepeLePew13, 11:29 PM, 12-18-11
        • RE: Words you don't say, Part II.,Estee, 11:36 PM, 12-18-11
• Two notes from Whitney's time.,Estee, 11:30 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Two notes from Whitney's time.,PepeLePew13, 11:34 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: Two notes from Whitney's time.,byoffer, 11:35 PM, 12-18-11
• And behind the mask, another mask.,Estee, 11:33 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 11:34 PM, 12-18-11
  • Finale Jury,jbug, 11:14 AM, 12-19-11
    • RE: Finale Jury,PepeLePew13, 11:28 AM, 12-19-11
      • RE: Finale Jury,jbug, 11:43 AM, 12-19-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,J Slice, 11:36 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 11:37 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,J Slice, 11:40 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 11:38 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 11:43 PM, 12-18-11
• Let's hear it for the winner.,Estee, 11:43 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,J Slice, 11:44 PM, 12-18-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 11:46 PM, 12-18-11
  • Repeat after me:,Estee, 11:49 PM, 12-18-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 11:56 PM, 12-18-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,byoffer, 00:01 AM, 12-19-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 00:14 AM, 12-19-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 00:22 AM, 12-19-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,J Slice, 00:13 AM, 12-19-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Corvis, 00:18 AM, 12-19-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Brownroach, 00:23 AM, 12-19-11
      • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,SquidProQuo, 01:32 AM, 12-19-11
      • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Outfrontgirl, 08:44 PM, 12-19-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,dabo, 01:54 AM, 12-19-11
    • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 07:32 AM, 12-19-11
• RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,J Slice, 00:20 AM, 12-19-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,PepeLePew13, 00:23 AM, 12-19-11
  • RE: S23 Finale East Coast Spoiler Thread,Estee, 00:28 AM, 12-19-11
• Next Season...,PepeLePew13, 00:37 AM, 12-19-11
  • RE: Next Season...,SquidProQuo, 11:20 AM, 12-19-11

I find it quite appropriate that the football game shown on CBS and that will delay Survivor features Tim Tebow!

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 09:09 PM (EST)

Did you see the SNL skit where God comes into the locker room to tell Tebow that he's too busy to be getting involved in football every week? I think he feels the same way about Survivor...but don't tell Brandon.

ETA: Here's the link for those who are interested:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/18/tim-tebow-saturday-night-live-skit-jesus-broncos_n_1156393.html

That skit was hilarious. God also mentioned that he's been busy at the Country Music awards and at beauty pageants. I immediately thought of God being busy playing Survivor, too.

Manhattan and Philadelphia media markets will be a minimum of twenty-five minutes behind the Canadian feed, which means we get extra finale preview commercials. All of which present three winner options:

Ozzy
"Dragonslayer"
someone else

Is it safe to predict that Jeff's Reunion interview priorities may not reach someone else until there's about ten minutes to go?

Yep, especially if it's a woman!

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 09:06 PM (EST)

Bahhhh. The Canadian feed is being held up because apparently CBS has decreed that Global TV can't go ahead for the finale without CBS also airing at the same time.

ETA: An on-screen bulletin says Survivor starts at 8:34 pm.

We're getting 60 Minutes here in Chicago, so I think everyone's delayed.

We'll just consider you an honorary state for the duration. Welcome to the NFL Frustration Package!

I'm still deciding if I'm actually going to watch any of the upcoming fiasco or not. I might tune in to Jeff's opening statement -- 'About a month ago, due to my popular demand, Ozzy returned to this game! And Benji too! And they've been battling each other all season! And I was told there's some other people, but I never found them...' -- but there are aspects I just don't want to see tonight, with Brandon's jury performance (on or in front of) high on the list. Plus with the GOP debates in full swing, I've had all the Fake Evangelical Ideals For Money I can stand before the Nearly-Human Blunder Dog shows up.

I've spent most of this season's first-run airtime watching X-Factor instead, and while that's been no prize -- see Fakethis for still more of that old-time fake it until someone makes it for you style -- at least I didn't have to catch Reverend Wade's Faith Healing Clinic. (If you ever had faith, come to him and he'll make it go away.) If he wins and that style of play becomes a model to follow... well, BB already had their cult: maybe this is just a belated catch-up. Ozzy would like to play each juror one-on-one for their votes. And as for the other three/nee' four -- well, there was a nutjob who never should have been cast on your average VH1 series, there was Vecepia II: This Time, The Invisibility Field Works Against Infrared, we had MB trying to sell us on Making Moves Is Wrong, So Just Let The Veterans Do It, and then there was a hat floating in midair for no apparent reason. I called it Nick because it reminded me of him. Remember Nick? No? Good, because that was the point. And I'm still not convinced we won't be getting Cochran back in some near, sad, stupid day.

Who wins this mess? Probably somebody else, because even MB isn't at the point where he's not afraid of a jury saying 'Wait, I didn't cast that...' But I know who lost: us. Stunt casting, empty garments as their supporting staff, and enough emphasis on mental illness to stock a Celebrity Rehab season, which Brandon would also be rejected for. He's addicted to a personal Jesus, and if Benji couldn't cure it, no one can.

Wrap it up, give somebody else a million dollars, and send Jeff to the pilot episode of his talk show, where his first guests will be every single coach accused of sexual abuse in the last three months. Because no matter how odious they are and how badly we all want them dead, it'll make great television!

Jeff's next head of casting is Jerry Springer. Consider yourselves warned.

Just when I was hoping for Joey Greco.

I've been waiting for either CBS or ABC to hire Vincent Russo.

The Canadian feed show can't start on time. The reunion show is live. They hold it back for the US show. If the Canadian show started on time we would have a half hour break between Jeff leaving TC and the live studio announcement of who won.

Okay well, 8:08 and 60 Minutes is in progress. Maybe this thread will be unnecessary.

Are you kidding? I came to this thread just to find out how long the delay was going to last!

*snort* Just another Sunday night on RTVW.

We could make up the finale. It would be better than the real thing I'm sure. But wait I think it's gonna start now.

Been there, done that, takes a couple of hundred hours. We're a little short on time.

Plus we'd need more than two contestants.

Remember: only six more years before Brendon launches his political career!

It's a pity about the age issue, really. Ron Paul wanted him as a running mate right now.

Pre-merge: 'My greatest dream is to screw Ozzy!'
Post-merge: 'My greatest dream is to screw Ozzy!'

Pre-merge: 'My greatest dream is to screw Ozzy!'
Post-merge: 'My greatest nightmare was to screw Ozzy!'

Here we go. Boring recap. Playing up Ozzy.

'If we have enough people speaking over each other, maybe the audience will think one of them actually said something interesting.'

Shorter recap than many we've had, with what I felt was too strong an emphasis on the boomerangs and a special focus on Benji's faith-based promise to Ozzy. Because no one would ever, ever break that, right? Everything else that's been sworn on in this game has gone bad, but not that.

Yet.

What's with this cacophony? SHUT UP!

Things with a higher chance of redemption than Talihantz: expired coupons, losing lottery tickets, every resident of a negative afterlife ever, and his uncle.

Something like he cannot tolerate people who are holier than thou?

Um, what is that saying about what one hates in others is the part of oneself they dislike?

In this context, 'thou' means 'him.' As in 'Don't be holier than Benji'. Which is really easy to do.

Meanwhile, Ozzy considers introducing Talihantz to some form of reality.

Ozzy: 'This is not Equestria! The environment does not run on friendship!'

Talihantz: 'TALKING PONIES ARE DEMONS SENT TO TEMPT ME!'

Jeff: 'You must hang onto this pole as long as you can."

Ozzy: 'All my experience in pornography has made me good at this. Of course, the only way to beat me would be by having even more experience...'

Talihantz: *screams, jumps down, and sets himself on fire*

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 10:00 PM (EST)

RI. Brandon thinks he got backstabbed by Albert. He really is clueless.

Sophie thinks Albert not giving back the IN will make him look bad.

Coach rants and raves.

Albert realizes he needs to do damage control.

Ozzy brags about his superior skills.

Final duel.

Hold onto a pole (each others'? ) as long as you can.

Quarter inch of wood. (giggle)

40 minutes elapsed.

LilHantz slipping.

Ozzy wins, reenters game.

Jubulant? Is that a word Jeff?

Ozzy goes back to camp with the others.

Ozzy gets redeemed twice and prepares to set an all-time record by getting voted out three times in a single season. Legacy!

And as for Talihantz? Well, as Jeff basically just said, 'You are completely insane, made everyone afraid of you, and yet you stayed around for thirty-six days. Do you know what that means? Next year, I'm casting fifteen more just like you plus three people for them to vote out early! Gosh, I hope MB will let me cast three females against fifteen males...'

Or, fifteen Mikaylas against three Hantzes.

Benji: 'I gave my word as a Christian man? Of course I did. Know what my middle name is? Christian. Do you know what a name is? A word. So let's talk about voting Ozzy out...'

And meanwhile, Ozzy won't even try to find, build, or exploit cracks in the alliance structure. Because the only thing he can do is try to win challenges. And frankly, it's the only thing he knows how to do. Plus the producers told him there's one more duel at F3, so...

What I don't get about the performances here: why do people keep building to the limit of their tile supply when it's already apparent they don't have the pieces to reach? As soon as you see you're going to fall short, start over.

Then again, not making a move when you're clearly going to fall short of the goal has been the problem all season.

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 10:57 PM (EST)

Coach tells Ozzy he's made an amazing run. He promises to take Ozzy to F3 but Ozzy thinks he is full of BS. Coach says everyone wants to take Coach to F3 (as if that were a good thing for him?)

IC.

Sophie has a book about how to build a house of cards, which happens to be this challenge.

Sophie orders Albert to pick up her pieces. Jeff says no helping allowed.

Ozzy in the lead.

He wins.

Sophie orders Albert to pick up her pieces.

Yeah, that's going to go over well. She might be heading for a win, but we're arguably still waiting for her to start into a winner's edit. 'Fetch my future win, peon!' isn't it.

Of course, if Benji had done the same thing, it would have been edited as the charismatic leader marshaling his troops behind the general. So...

"Hey, Ozzy, can I wear that thing for a few seconds? I never won it -- I just want to see how it feels."

"No."

"Ozzy, isn't that a deadly spider on the catch? You'd better unfasten it quick!"

"I'll take my chances."

"Ozzy! The necklace is on fire! Because I just lit it!"

"Let it burn."

Albert: "Ozzy's played the strongest game."

And I'm sure you could have been voted out too if you really wanted to.

"With Ozzy keeping Immunity, you can only vote for Benji, Albert, Sophie, or Rick."

*whisper* "Who's Rick?"

*whisper* "I don't know, but if Jeff's crazy enough to think there's a fifth person here, I'm voting for the delusion."

*whisper* "We already dumped Brandon!"

*whisper* "I took off the 'al'."

Is she ever gonna hate us.

Note that she's a horrible debater. Ozzy shuts her down within seconds by presenting a marching chain of evidence against her and the only defense she can come up with is a muttered "Whatever." The classic: it's okay when she does it, but against the law for anyone else.

Her edit is actually getting worse -- and if redemption was supposed to be the theme, she's got a little over an hour to get in on it.

Yeah, but did you notice Dawn (in particular) showing concern and feeling for Sophie there? That might be a jury vote right there.

And Coach looked like a sanctimonious ass getting up to greet Rick after the vote reveal, only to have Rick brush him off. Wave a potential jury vote right there goodbye.

I think Sophie is going to win this though I can't stand her.

Very possible for to have picked up one there: that shot was there for a reason, and good spot. As for Benji -- he's looked that way all year: it's just that the other players may finally be picking up on this. If Sophie wins this, half the votes may have a subscript of 'Screw you, skink bait.'

...oh gawds. She's Amber.

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 10:45 PM (EST)

I'm just glad you didn't say "skunk bait" instead of "skink bait"...

Oh look, watch Coach throwing away another potential jury vote with his confrontation with Ozzy just now...

It's a brick joke from Benji's first season of not-dragonslaying: I said he could be taken out by a skink. And looking at the way that challenge went down, possibly just was. Sophie's got just about that much personality...

Benji's jury approach model: sweetness. With sugar. Lots and lots of Sugar.

Ozzy "got in the mode and focused." Now he wants to turn the rest against each other. Coach tells Albert they should vote Rick.

Ozzy tells Albert they should vote Sophie after her "pick up my pieces" antics. Now Ozzy tells Albert Coach promised Ozzy F3. Albert confronts Coach.

TC.

Coach will play the hii.

Sophie thinks she is a bigger threat than Ozzy.

Ozzy and Sophie in confrontation now. Jeff calls her out on it. She snivels. Oh boo-hoo. Is she acting? Wow they are spending an awful lot of time on this.

Voting:

Rick and Ozzy vote Sophie.

Votes

Rick
Sophie
Rick
Sophie
Rick is out.

Coach tries to comfort him, Rick says TAKE A SEAT. Not happy with Coach AT ALL

We had a Rick?

Huh. Who knew?

I want that in binding legal writing.

His conversation with Benji didn't just feel like the usual 'I will cover my rear with another juror': it almost felt like setting up Randy with the fake idol. Benji wouldn't go for the total humiliation -- would he?

Ozzy and Coach talking. Coach says who do you want out next?
Ozzy says let Albert and Sophie build fires.

Final IC.

Collect puzzle pieces from five stations.

Ozzy in the lead.

Coach and Sophie also working on puzzle.

Sophie now in lead.

She wins.

Ozzy was trying to copy off Sophie. They should have had partitions up between them.

Ozzy has only his social game left now that he has lost a challenge (and to a brat no less), guess we know it won't get him far.

I'm not sure who came first hosting games, you or Tribe, but you are both nefarious! - CTGirl

'Ozzy'

'social'

'game'

...but I don't understand how you're putting them together.

I think in Ozzy's case "social game" means tossing all of Coach's words at him hoping something will break through the veneer?

It won't do him any good, but I did find myself cheering him on while he was doing it.

Easy answer: no. I'm heading for the kitchen. Anyone want anything?

Yes, could you take the machete out of Ozzy's bag so he doesn't go berserk at Tribal Council?

(did anyone else see Ozzy stealthily putting the machete into his bag?)

Clearly not enough stealth...

You want me to take away the chance of seeing Ozzy murder Benji? You're funny.

Ozzy not giving up. Coach tells Sophie she is now the Dragonslayer having vanquished Ozzy. She thinks this will work in her favor. Now Ozzy wants Coach to keep his word and take the warrior to the end. Coach laments "why can't this be easy?"

Yeah, he was just desperate for one day without having to keep spewing sewage in confessional. Not only was he up to his neck when seated, but the protective coating was starting to peel off his tongue.

"You gave me your word as a Christian!"

"I just converted to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism."

"You said you wanted the strongest at the end!"

"I meant Albert's body odor."

"You said this would rip out your heart!"

"The wizard only installed a pocket watch. I have to remove it twice a day to wind it anyway."

The jury walks in...

I think Jim just popped a boner when he saw that Ozzy was defeated by Sophie. And these were some serious daggers Rick was shooting off with his eyes toward Coach. Coach ain't getting Rick's vote.

Actually, now it's quite clear to see what Coach meant at the beginning of this finale: "It's my game to lose" -- he's showing how he lost the game with his repeated insert-foot-in-mouth actions.

"It appears not everyone agrees with your analysis."

Kiss Benji's (perpetual total lack of) paladin powers goodbye.

I'll edit in an apology if he keeps his word to Ozzy. Wanna bet those odds?

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 11:05 PM (EST)

...for the many fans of Ozzy.

The number is 1-800-BS-COACH.

Ozzy believes he played his best-ever -- and best possible -- social game.

He's probably right.

TC.

Sophie happy to have immunity.

Ew, Coach has bared frontal area.

Coach puts foot in mouth.

Everyone is trusting Coach. He swallows hard.

Albert and Sophie vote for Ozzy. Sophie says she is the dragonslayer.

Votes:

Ozzy
Albert
Ozzy
Ozzy is out.

Ozzy says the third time is the charm. (I suggest you look up that expression, Oz.) But he was happy that the jury clapped for him.

Sophie: 'I have to go in as a logical subject of disdain instead of an emotional one.'

Albert: 'I am about to become the most articulate person ever to get zero votes.'

Benji: 'What do you mean, you showed them all my confessionals?'

So, basically, Albert just said to the jury: "God loves me more and He doesn't like you guys because I'm sitting up here and you're not."

Zero-vote meter: PING PING PING

And the motto is: unless you're speaking before the Toilet Papers, never let Talihantz write your speech.

The PINGING is becoming unbearable.

I don't want to see Coach's Ego win after what he spewed at Final Three Breakfast.

However, I think if he wins the ego-gasm live on TV taking out half the stage could be worth it.

Albert's grooming disturbs me. No one should step in front of the jury on Day Thirty-Nine and look like the boat drop was three minutes ago.

Coach is on cloud nine.

Treemail food. Sophie speaks, as if she's suddenly interesting. Now she's talking to Coach, dissing Albert. Albert feels he's played the best game.

TC

Ozzy has Pocahontas braids.

Albert goes first. He says it's a social experience.

Sophie cuts to the chase. She won three immunities and stuck with her alliance.

Coach tried to lead with love compassion and respect.

At no point in Benji's speech to the jury did he say 'honor'.

Ozzy just threw the "honor" word at Coach and said, this makes or breaks your chances in the game right now.

And then Sophie taught us that Benji was a young girl.

And she used the term as an insult.

Hiya, Corrine!

This is one of the biggest skewering of the final three we've ever seen, isn't it?

I've seen worse. (I've written much worse.) But I think we can safely put this in the top five. The jury is way up there for bitterness -- but considering what was preached versus what was practiced, it's one of the few which arguably has something to be bitter about.

I'm with what you said above: this is the story of how Benji lost a million dollars. Albert's too sleazy to vote for, they won't cast for the double standard, and that means there's only one person left. They condescend to write her name down.

She should be familiar with that.

Thank the gawds someone called Benji on his cult.

Sophie just delivered the most terrified, trembling, uncertain, scared 'I'm an intimidating person' speech I've ever seen. She doesn't know where her votes are -- or if she has them at all. I don't think she sees herself as the winner.

Well, that should change in a few minutes/months...

Coach just made a lot of decisions on the jury easier with the vote. I think he just realized the writing was on the wall with all the hypocrisy he's spread around and just acknowledged that he was a terrible strategizer (and Sophie just threw some salt on the wound by saying, "it's not his fault, I'm the strategizer")

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 11:37 PM (EST)

Know where her votes are

I think this is an interesting comment. Usually at this point there is some semblance of who some or most of the jury will vote for. But this year I am not sure I have a handle on any of the votes. All three seemed very unlikeable.

Which probably means that Coach will win.

<snip>

Was there a moment at the end there, when he was talking about what a horrible strategist he was (just before the other two tried to take credit for that), when we saw our first glimpse of Benjamin Wade?

*considers*

No.

Pocahontas goes first. He says no one wants to vote for any of them. Sophie is a brat, Albert didn't do much, Coach needs to give a good account of himself.

Jim next with question for Albert. He says he and Sophie dragged Coach to the end.

Dawn asks Sophie her strategy. She compares Coach to a girl.

Rick is nasty to all of them.

LilHantz addresses Coach. He is not happy. But he forgives Coach. He wants to know if Albert knew LilHantz was going home. Albert is too inconclusive

Whitney dislikes all three of them. Sophie gets emotional.

Edna is a yawn.

Keith -- Sophie reveals that the idol was not found the way the others believed. LilHantz looks shocked.

Cochran rebukes Coach -- Coach falls apart. Sophie is there for the kill "I was a good strategist." Albert says the same of himself. Coach needed to be much more gung-ho about his game.

whut? no final rebuttal speeches by the F3?

It's been years since they did that.

I sorta remembered that I had missed it in past seasons, but I still expect them to do it.
I wonder if they do but just don't show it to us.

I'm going to marry Edna.

LAST EDITED ON 12-18-11 AT 11:37 PM (EST)

You're back in New York?

Heh. Nope. Still in the Keystone.

But it's so damn weird to see a person that articulate and sensible (and so wrong for Survivor, by that reasoning) on television.

Also, she's pretty.

This got cut off at the beginning.

Cochran votes for Coach

Dawn votes for Sophie

Now the reunion show.

Votes:

Coach
Sophie
Coach
Sophie
Coach
Sophie
Sophie
Sophie wins!

{Fluttershy}yay{/Fluttershy}

Best possible outcome, in my opinion.

May Ozzy and Coach and Jeff go make out in some dark room and get it out of their system. Some dark, hermetically-sealed room.

Oh joy. RussHell is in attendance to critique LilHantz's game. Time to make a late supper.

*click*

Actually, this might be fun to watch - Russhole looks super-grumpy.

Let's not forget that the Hantz gene was upheld - that is the loser gene!!

He looks positively sinister.

LAST EDITED ON 12-19-11 AT 00:22 AM (EST)

Russhole didn't disappoint - he made himself into an even bigger steaming pile of turdiness than usual.

Sad to see Brandon say that nobody in his family supported his gameplay or even bothered to show up at the finale (other than Russhole). What a rotten family.

Probst: some girl won BUT THERE IS A SLIMY TURD I JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IN THE AUDIENCE.

Probst is the worst kind of enabler.

If they actually do a Brandon vs. Russell season, I will not watch. Never missed an episode. But I will not watch that.

I just saw that. And sadly thought "of course they will!" Gah! I think we should have spoiled this.

<< I think we should have spoiled this.

BR, I was thinking the same thing! We should have seen this coming. I shudder at the thought.

Funny because my husband watched last week's episode after not watching for years, and he said to me that it seems totally scripted and so Jerry Springer-ish vs. the earlier seasons...the Hantz effect is a big part of that.

They did spoil it on Mess, but I forget where I read it. Not as a sourced spoiler, but as a just you wait, this will be the next awful gimmick. When Jeff said it, I remembered that spec. I'm sure the author hoped it couldn't happen. Could Jeff really be that clueless to think he could cast a season like that without a revolt by the cast? and the fans?

Why doesn't he negotiate for the Jerry Springer edition of Survivor if he likes this crap so much. Do a fast forward mini-season. Air it on Friday night after midnight.

Was that Krista sitting next to Russell?

I went back to the PVR and no, that's not Krasta besides Russhole, just some other blonde lady.

Probst proposes a Hantz-off.

I am declaring a Fatwa.

Like I was saying way up there... 15 Mikaylas vs. 3 Hantzes would be the only way it'd be worth seeing a Hantz back in the game. The Mikaylas would kick some serious butt.

The Florida Family Association just dropped your advertising.

Not that you're wrong...

We close with a presentation of a $1 million cheque to Sophie (first time we've seen that in a finale) -- not sure if it's such a good idea being so close to a fire where someone could 'accidentally' knock the cheque into the flames...

We also see a preview of the next season: Survivor - One World (we'll be calling it "SOW", I'd bet).

So did they also do something on the morning show?