Brace yourself. I think this week is going to be even more horrible than country week. Simon's going to dole out the snarky "that's too old, this competition is about youth" - which is not going to be fair, since EJ's best stuff is 10-15 years older than some of the contestants.

Most Elton John songs are deceptively difficult to sing well. His strongest and most interesting songs have complex melodies and tough intervals, and most have a fairly wide range IF you sing them the way Elton did. Not only that, most people don't sound good covering Elton songs. I saw EJ and Billy Joel on their Face to Face tour, and BJ absolutely butchered Yellow Brick Road. (The major exception is George Michael singing Someone Saved My Life Tonight, which I adored.)

Not only are the songs tough -- a lot of Elton John song appeal is in the band and the arrangements. Dude had a GREAT band. The Unknown Band will not be able to come close to that. Unless... maybe they get Davey Johnstone and Ray Cooper to come slum with them. (There's a concert film out there of Elton and Ray Cooper on tour in Russia -- just EJ on piano and Cooper on all sorts of auxiliary percussion -- which is absolutely terrific.)

So... here's what I think the American Sacrifices should pick from the Elton John catalog:

Camille - Hrm. I think she'll suck at any of them (what's new), but I really like the intentional irony of her attempting I'm Still Standing. She'll probably do Can You Feel the Love Tonight, though. Ick. The only way she'd get votes from me this week would be to do Funeral for a Friend. And yes, I know that's an instrumental only.

Latoya - Border Song. She would do it justice. She'll be okay with anything except the Fatal Four (TM). (See below for the Fatal Four (TM).)

JPL - Needs to get back to what he does best - dancing. Definitely should do Your Sister Can't Twist. For the love of all that's holy, PLEASE don't mangle Tiny Dancer again! I bet he does Saturday Night's Alright, though, and that will be okay, too. Should wear a black leather jacket, a white undershirt, and a pair of jeans ripped at one knee. Yum. And his brother should be in the audience wearing the same thing. Double yum.

Johnny Red - Bad bad week for him. I think about the only song that he'd stand a chance at crooning would be Daniel. Roy Rogers would be an interesting choice, but he's too young to be convincing. I predict he'll go with Your Song, though, and it will be even worse than My Girl.

Diana - I'm so torn about RoboGirl. I really like her voice, if I don't look at her. Somebody needs to give her a pet and then kill it, so she can suffer a little. That would really help. "It's a sad song, honey, remember when Daddy ran over your poodle, Muffy? Try to feel like that." Since she doesn't have any emotional connection anyway, she should do one of the EJ songs that makes no damn sense. I'd like to see her try Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters...but she'll probably cutesy up again and do Crocodile Rock, since it's the potentially pageant pick.

Fantasia - She really surprised me during country week. Girlfriend gets it. So, with her church pipes, I'd LOVE to see her try Levon. Like Latoya, she'll be fine with anything except the Fatal Four (TM).

George - I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Love Lies Bleeding. Might be good on Elderberry Wine. Should avoid Crocodile Rock, too obvious a choice.

Jasmine - Ms. Inconsistency. Heh, with the Hawai'i motif, she should do Island Girl, though they'd have to totally rewrite the lyrics. Hee. I've Seen that Movie Too would be a bold choice. She looks innocent enough to get away with Don't Go Breakin' My Heart, which really could work as a solo with a little tweaking. But. I predict the Island Princess will try to wail Circle of Life.

Jennifer - I'm having a tough time coming up with a good one for her. I'd really like to see her do Someone Saved My Life Tonight, if only to see the faces she'd make delivering the line, "It's four o clock in the morning, damnit, listen to me good". Wonder if they'd bleep the damnit. She'd be hot on ##### is Back, but no way will they let anybody sing it. Maybe Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word? Actually, out of all the Sacrifices, she might be okay with Your Song.

They should ALL avoid the Fatal Four: Candle in the Wind, Rocket Man, Bennie and the Jets, and Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me. CITW because it's so singularly Elton and so overoveroverplayed. Rocket Man, because no one will have the guts to use William Shatner's singular interpretation. BATJ, because the most interesting thing about that is the piano stuff, not the vocals. DLTSGDOM because Clay ruined it for everybody else in last year's wild card - nobody else could do it as well as he did.

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Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

Great post! I agree with your fatal four, no one should try those songs.

It'll be interesting to see if you picked correctly.